The Adventures of Beeko and Suzuko: Chapter One

[7eleven]

Beeko was laying in bed waiting for his alarm to go off, but he was already awake. He was pretty nervous to set out on his first mission outside the village. Sure, he had done plenty of low ranking missions within Konoha...but those were little more than petty errands. This was is first proper mission, and his first time leaving Konoha since he had moved here to start his training at the academy. He was waiting by the main entrance to the village for his mission partner- he had been paired with another shinobi by the name of Fukuzawa, Suzuko, a kunoichi from Heart Empire who had just recently become a Chuunin. Beeko was excited by the idea of hanging out with someone who wasn't from Konoha... he spent most of his days surrounded by the stuffy old Senju. He was starting to feel antsy, ready to start his day... but he didn't want to get there too early and risk looking like the rest of the prim and proper members of the Senju clan. He glanced over at his alarm clock and- Ah, damn! Damn alarm clock! Forgot to turn it on again! Damn! He had been in the village for a few years now, but still wasn't used to those. Back home in Wakunochi Village, he had never even seen an alarm clock. They just got up with the birds. Hell, they barely even used clocks at all! Stupid damn alarm clock.

Anyways, he wasn't going to be late for his first mission if he could help it. He jumped out of bed, darting his eyes around the room to locate all of his stuff. Of course, he was just a genin who really only had the things that the old people let him have, so there wasn't much see. He began darting around the room and dressing as quickly as he could manage- grabbing his pants that had somehow been kicked most of the way under his bed, his undershirt draped over the doorknob (only taking the time to button half the buttons, and his robe which had flung into the furthest corner as soon as he had gotten home the night before. But where was his belt? He kept an eye out for it as he continued scrambling together all of his ninja tools when, suddenly, it slapped him right in the face. Literally, as it was hanging from his ceiling fan. What the shit. Anyway. Ain't got time.

He ran out of the door, kicking it shut behind him as his hands were occupied securing his robe and tying his belt. It wasn't quite as nicely tied as he normally did, but well, he was running. So whatever. He was running down the hall of the Senju complex building that his apartment was in, nearing the big exit door. He reached up to readjust his Hitai-ate, he still wasn't quite used to wearing it yet, to find that it wasn't even on his forehead. Ah, shit! It was of course at that exact moment that one of the Senju elders opened the door to enter the building, probably on his way to badger him about the mission that he was ALREADY ON HIS WAY TO. Anyways, he smashed right into him and fell onto the floor. Without hesitation, or saying anything, he scrambled back to his feet and started running full tilt back to his bedroom. The elder Senju behind him was shouting- "Senju, Yamabiko! How many times have we told you-!

Beeko didn't hear the rest because he cut the older man off with his own shouting. "Ah, stuffit old man! How many times have I told you not to call me that! He ducked back into his room and found his Hitai-ate laid neatly on his dresser, the headband folded delicately beneath the metal plate, of course the only thing he forgot was the thing that he had taken the time to put in a proper place. Next to it was a small parcel, wrapped in brown paper that was secured with twine. The mission objective. Whatever. He grabbed the Hitai-ate and the package and sprinted out the door, kicking it shut behind him as he tied his Hitai-ate in place. He dipped down a different hallway on his second trip out to take a different exit that would (hopefully) not take him past the old man. It was a longer path, but he'd just have to run faster. He pumped his legs as hard as he could all the way to the village entrance, managing to get there just a few minutes before the assigned time.

While waiting for his partner to arrive, Beeko turned the package over in his hands trying to get a feel for its weight. It wasn't very heavy, what could it be? He wasn't sure of the contents, but he figured it was either important or valuable- something worth paying to have delivered by two shinobi. It would be their job to safely deliver the parcel to a nearby village. It was possible that they would be attacked on the road, there were bandits that surveyed the routes from Konoha to the smaller outlying villages in the hope of stealing valuable items like this one. There was a chance that Beeko could end up in his first real fight, which was pretty cool.

Speed +1

[Nick]

Suzuko hadn't spent all that much time in the village hidden in the leaves just yet, but it had been a unique adventure all the same. She'd met several Konoha shinobi by this point, some of whom were at the iron banner festival, and some of whom she'd met when they'd visited Xincha within the empire itself, but coming to visit them on their home turf was something different and exciting altogether! She wasn't really used to travelling yet, though, and it was exhausting being pulled from place to place rather swiftly, and while today was meant to be one of her days off originally, she'd been volunteered to go on a mission with one of the genin she hadn't yet met.

This exhaustion paired with her sleeping in a bed that was ultimately unfamiliar with her meant that she was simultaneously dead tired and also unable to sleep great, the unfortunate combination that was bound to lead to someone sleeping in. She was sharing a room with two other girls from her pilot program, and neither one of them had bothered to wake her up thinking that, like them, Suzuko must have the day off... And also probably that she was likely to chew their heads off if either of them woke her. She was grumpy enough on a day to day basis already without being short on sleep, and and not exactly friendly to most to begin with. Her wrath was probably best left directed at herself and herself alone.

In a haze, she opened one eye, and then the other, both crusted over by the gross eye boogers placed there in the night by booger goblins whose sole job in the world was to do exactly what it sounded like they do, and she wiped one of them clean, before looking to the clock on the wall... And immediately falling out of bed, scrambling around for something to hold herself up on, which resulted in her accidentally pulling down her nightstand as she scrambled to stand. "I'm L A T E." She said loudly, looking around to find that her roommates were both gone, likely off to go shopping on their day off, and she grimaced.

Pulling her brain together as best she could, Suzuko started to dig through her drawers, pulling out all the things necessary to start the day, starting to walk to the bathroom to take a bath, realizing that she had, in fact, taken a bath last night, and simultaneously throwing on her socks and her shirt, resulting in her falling over once more. She struggled on the floor for a few moments before the socks came on and left her with only her shirt to work on, struggling to get her arms untrapped from around the sleeves... Only to realize that the shirt was, in fact, her pants. Glad that her roommates were not there to see this awful display of dexterity and mental faculties, she swapped the pants from her top to her bottom and wriggled into them easily, the rest of her outfit made easier by the realization that pants were not shirts.

By the time she left the front door she was already exhausted, and sprinting at full force towards the meeting point found in the mission scroll she'd been given. She hadn't looked at the clock before she'd left, but her unceremonious awakening told her that she was VERY late, though as she saw the lone boy whom she assumed was her assigned partner, she would be, if anything, only a minute or two behind schedule. "Uhh, morning!" She said, dumbly, still not all quite there first thing in the morning. "Fukazawa, Suzuko reporting for duty!"

[Willpower +1]

[7eleven]

Beeko looked up to see someone running full tilt straight at him. Even though he didn't know what his partner looked like, given the timing, he could only assume that it was Suzuko running straight at him. She seemed to be pretty dang fast from what Beeko could tell. Faster than him, at least. But he probably shouldn't have been surprised, being that she was a chuunin and all. It seemed like everywhere he went, Beeko was being constantly outclassed. Oh well, he supposed it wouldn't have made much sense to send two genin out on their own. Maybe he'd be able to learn a thing or two from working with someone who was stronger than him. As she got closer, it became clear to Beeko that this girl was definitely younger than him. Heck, a lot younger! She was just a little kid! Beeko was used to being outclassed by people younger than him, but that was because he was always surrounded by Senju. "Hey, what gives?! I thought they were sending me a chuunin, not a baby! What are you, nine years old?" As soon as he said it he knew he probably shouldn't have. But whatever.

"We gotta take this box to a little village not too far from here. You gotta big backpack so I'll let you carry it." He lobbed the parcel in her direction with a casual underhand. "We should get there by this evening, stay the night there, and return to Konoha tomorrow. They gave me a map and some ryo for the inn. Anyways, I'm Senju, Yamabiko. But call me Beeko."

Beeko channeled chakra through his wooden right leg and into one of the seeds stored into his heel, causing the golem Arimaki to grow explosively to full size under beneath his feet. Beeko remained facing towards Suzuko, crossing his arms while he willed his golem to start walking in the opposite direction towards the village entrance. "Anyway, let's boogie! We're running late! The faster we get there, the faster we can see what cool food they have."

[Nick]

Suzuko stared at her mission partner with a blank expression. The stare continued, though if he was at all perceptive, he probably would have noticed that her entire body tensed up, every muscle in her body flexed, every blood vessel strained, and a small twitch in her left eye, not before both hands clenched into fists. She was pretty well used to adults giving that kind of disrespect, and in fact when it came from an adult she didn't even get angry because she thought they were right most of the time, but hearing it from this brat in front of her? It hit much differently. The young heiress began to sweat at her usual prodigious rate, and finally with the sound of a thousand vases shattering her face cracked into a small smile as she did her best to play nice, physically restraining herself all the while.

"So nice to meet you... Yamabiko-kun..." She said through clenched teeth, letting the box simply hit her squarely in the chest, completely unphased and making no move to catch it out of the air, though Fukuro-kun extended his tongue around from behind her, slurping it up into his bottomless, cavernous maw, where many lost items never saw the light of day again, and Suzuko briefly hoped that would include the body of a child who couldn't have been much older than her. Then again, even if they couldn't find his body, she'd need more time to think up a good cover story as to why she'd arrived at the destination without him present. All in due time.

Somewhat mechanically, still nearly bursting at the seams with trying to restrain herself, she began to walk forward when the beetle exploded out underneath Beeko's feet. In an instant, that horrifying tension that had taken over her entire body seemed to melt, and she screamed. "Ew! A bug!" She cried like a little girl, which she was. In an instant, she'd transition into full combat mode, running like a terminator directly towards the beetle and the boy, and lining up the perfect kick her foot would nearly touch the back of her head before pendulum swinging out from under her to attempt to kick the golem that she saw as some kind of inherent threat to her life and liberty as a human being. And if succesful, the poor beetle would be catapulted into the air with a strength only able to be mustered by men standing on death's door.

Briefly, while her foot was pulled back to such an extreme angle, she remembered back to some of her basic combat lessons at the academy, where they'd talked about fighting body mechanics. Legs were inherently more powerful than arms for a variety of tasks, but generally speaking unless you could outspeed your opponent, or otherwise already had them at a disadvantage, a kick could often be foolish. For most, the legs were longer than the arms, which provided a reach and leverage advantage, but for people that didn't train exensively, a kick was often slower and clumsier than a punch, and more importantly, left you with only a single point of contact on the ground for balance, making a counterattack much more likely from your opponent. Goro had briefly expanded on this when he'd talked about 'last resorts', and that if you were going to do something that was going to put you in a disadvantageous position, you'd better be sure that it was putting your opponent in an even more disadvantageous position.

All that said, Suzuko had none of that in mind while making the action, and not only left herself open to very easy counterattacks, but was also relatively sloppy when kicking. This might not have been a problem, as she did technically have the element of surprise on her side, and certainly being kicked into the stratosphere would be a pretty disadvantageous position for her opponent.

[Strength +1]

[7eleven]

Beeko's eyes narrowed and lips pursed slightly in frustration as his new comrade referred to him as "Yamabiko" immediately he had said to call him "Beeko." What the hell. "I said, call me Beeko! Only my...mom..." The genin began to trail off as he could see the girl growing increasingly and visibly upset. He could also see her growing increasingly and visibly wet with sweat, but that seemed like a personal issue that wasn't really Beeko's place to comment on. He didn't want to be rude to her, they'd just met! Pretty weird though. And gross.

And to make matters worse, a huge tongue shot out of her backpack and ATE THE PACKAGE. He really hoped she was still able to get stuff out of there. But then, the package would be wet. With... backpack spit. How in the hell was he going to explain this to the receiver of the package? Maybe he would just tell them that his partner sweats a lot and that's how it got wet. Yeah. That was somehow preferable to the alternative of telling them that it got wet because his partner's backpack ATE IT.

But Beeko's squinty-eyed confusion (and slight nausea) was quickly replaced by defensiveness, as Sukuzo cried out in horror and began running full speed at him, seemingly with intent to demolish his beloved Arimaki. But then again, it wouldn't be that big of a deal even if she completely destroyed him, and he could just quickly recreate him with another seed. So he started to relax for a second. But then Beeko remembered that the edge of Arimaki's platform was incredibly sharp, and that her kicking the golem at full force could seriously injure her. Which would be cool, because that was the entire point of that design feature, except for the fact that she was his mission partner and they had barely even started the mission, so her losing a foot or whatever would probably not be a great start.

So, with his limited pool of Jutsu, Beeko did the first thing he could think of to prevent his new friend from becoming injured- he channeled chakra, as quickly as he could, throughout his and the golem's body and- POOF! In a puff of chakra smoke, he switched his body with Arimaki. Beeko was now on the ground, with both hands and both feet on the ground, splayed out in a weird crab pose, with the golem now standing on top of him. It was in this moment that Beeko realized he had just put himself directly into harm's path, as he saw the girl's foot rapidly approaching his face...

It happened so fast that he barely registered the kick itself, just intense, hot pain in his face radiating to his entire skull and the feeling of weightlessness as he was flying through the air out of the Konoha main gate. Which was pretty embarrassing, because he had been looking forward to his first adventure outside the village for years, and he felt pretty cool leaving through the gate backwards astride his golem, but now instead he was leaving by virtue of having been kicked right in the damn head.

The pain didn't stop there, of course, as Beeko's body did eventually hit the ground - Ah, damn! Ah, shit! - the momentum from his partner's kick continuing to carry him, tumbling in a tangle of limbs and wooden limbs, across the ground - Shit! Damn! Shit, shit! - until he smashed ass first into a tree, his spine curving around it with a crisp cracking sound.

It felt as though it took an hour, but slowly and steadily, Beeko was able to pick his damaged body off the ground and stand. He turned around to face Sukuzo, doing an almost full rotation as he was disoriented and had no idea which direction she was in, and finding her to be quite a bit further away than he had expected. "Man, that was close!" He started walking in her direction, finding his golem standing unscathed not far from where he had started. "Also, Arimaki is not a real bug! Also, it's very sharp!" He began fussing with his afro, making sure his tumble had not left it oddly lopsided.

"Is there anything stuck in my hair?"

Endurance +1

[Nick]

After the one kick to rule them all, the supreme kick to end the world, the last kick man might know before disappearing into the cosmos, the kick that would end the lives of demon's and angels alike, the kick that gods fear and the devil seeks asylum from... Beeko seemed okay, which was good, because killing a Konoha genin on her visit to the hidden village was likely to be a problem later down the line. For her, and her village, and any potential future relations they might have. Not for Beeko. Because he'd be dead. Lucky bastard. She clearly didn't realize that her foot was the thing in real danger from the encounter, either, but she quickly ran to catch up to Beeko who had flown halfway to their delivery destination all on their own.

If someone could figure out how to harness the energy of Suzuko's magnificent bug kick, one might have the power to take over the world. A frightening thought.

As the girl came to a skidding stop, sliding slowly to slump in front of Beeko, she checked him over for any signs of injury. Any signs of her previous anger or anxiety over the existence of a bug seemed to melt away as she looked concentrated and concerned for the safety of this boy. "Real bug or not, you shouldn't have done the substitution..." She grumbled, seemingly slightly annoyed that she was having to perform medical operations in the field like this. Luckily, his thick skull seemed mostly unharmed, but nobody would take blows like that without ending up with a few bruises and scrapes.

"Gimme a sec..." She grumbled. She had ways to make chakra bandages to expedite the recovery of the cuts and contusions, but she didn't know if some nosy person was going to ask him where all those came from and lead to some sour feelings. She didn't want to resort to using the necklace because of how draining it was, but she did also, admittedly, feel a little bad for kicking him in the face like that, so it was kind of the least she could do, really.

Suzuko dug into her shirt and pulled out the necklace that hung around her neck, a recent gift from a mysterious benefactor left with only the most basic of instructions on its use. Wrapping one hand around the gem, she held the other out to Beeko which began to glow with the subtle green light of iijutsu, as the mystical palm technique stored inside the gem was used and drew from her chakra reserves. She was unable to use this technique of her own accord just yet, elsewise she'd rather have used it personally, because filtering chakra into the gem and then out onto Beeko took a lot more energy than just doing it herself. Regardless, she hovered her hand first over his forehead, making sure to cure him of any minor brain damage he might have received, before slowly working the hand over the rest of his body.

"Almost done... And yes, there is." She said, scrunching her face a bit in exertion, finishing off a small scrape on his knee before the glowing stopped, and she finally remembered to breath. Forcing that kind of chakra out wasn't easy by any means, and she let go of the necklace, dumping it back down her shirt and wiping her forehead with one hand, while the other went to pull a twig out of his hair... And as she pulled, more and more kept coming along with it, until an entire six inch thick tree branch had fallen out of his hair and landed next to him.

"I uhh, sorry." She said after an awkward bit of silence. "Really just... Not a fan of bugs..."

[Chakra Pool +1]

[7eleven]

(SMASH CUT- the pair are now walking along a well worn trade path on their way to the destination)

It was a temperate, cloudy cloudy day- perfect weather for a long trek through the middle of nowhere. Beeko had been SO incredibly excited to leave the village for the first time since arriving in Konoha about 4 years ago. But to be honest, he was just... so... goddamn bored right now. He looked to his left- grass with a bunch of trees in the distance. He looked to his right - grass with a bunch of trees in the distance. The occasional bird flying overheard, or rustling indicating a small animal scurrying around in the grass nearby. They hadn't seen a single damn person. Not even some cool wildlife. Just hours of walking this path in a straight line. As kids his age often do when bored, he would occasionally strike the ground with his heel as he stepped, or kick the errant rock, maybe kick it again if he hadn't launched it off into the grass by mistake...

"Hey, Suzy, what do you think is in that little box?" Immediately after uttering the word "box", Beeko heard what he thought was the sound of one of the nearby animals, probably nothing more than a field mouse, running past his feet...but he looked down just in time to see a hand - a human hand! - sticking up out of the ground and attempt to grab him by his ankle. He reflexively pulled his foot, forcing the hand to grab him by his foot instead of by his ankle. He struggled against the hand as much as he could, but he wasn't exactly in a good position for leverage. [color=mediumpurple"Ah, shit! Suzy! Dirt hands!"[/color] He was able to yell out his warning just in time, as a second hand, matching the first, extended from the ground and grabbed him, successfully this time, around the ankle and pulled him foot first down into the ground. Luckily, Beeko thought quickly enough and was able to lift his wooden right leg off the ground and raise it parallel to the ground as he was dragged down until the entire length of his leg was stuck in the dirt.

Thinking that Beeko had been properly dealt with, the boy who attacked him leaped out of the ground and addressed Suzuko. "Oi! Where's that there package?! I know you got it!" He looked to be a bit older than the shinobi pair, maybe 6 years old, with a large, egg-shaped head, too far apart eyes, ears too small for his oversized noggin, and small tuft of hair sticking out of the middle of the top of his head. He was certainly an odd looking fellow, but more importantly, he didn't look as though he was a particularly powerful shinobi. Stronger than either alone, perhaps, but probably not stronger than the two of them together.

After a good strong push, Beeko was able to release his leg, flinging bits of dirt in every direction. He jumped to his feet, dramatically turning to point at the weird egg head kid as he did so, to say "Hey! How the hell did you know that she had the box!?"
Beeko slammed both of his palms against the ground behind him, and bent his right knee so that he could place his foot flat against the ground, taking a pose similar to what some would call a "crab walk", if the crab had one of its legs jammed all the way in the damn ground, and pushed up with all of the strength he could muster in an attempt to free himself from his dirty leg prison.

Strength +1

[Nick]

Thankfully Beeko appeared to be exceptionally good at taking mountain cracking kicks to the skull and walking away unharmed, a skill and trait that would likely prove to be valuable in the trials to come, not just today, but for his entire career. It was astounding, really, but the writers today don't have time to go into too much detail about how he survived except to pad out a wordcount arbitrarily made necessary by the voices on high who had lost touch with their constituents and one day soon would rue the day that they picked on the proletariat writers from their bourgeoise positions of near godhood. Or not. Probably not, actually. Is one of you reading this right now? If you are, let me know, I just want you to know that I actually respect you a lot depending on which one of you it is, even if I don't say it enough. Thanks for all your hard work.

Thanks to the power of clever editing, however, very little time would be wasted on their journey as they walked through the forests of fire country, Suzuko not putting overmuch weight on the foot that had impacted the world's hardest skull. It was likely going to hurt tomorrow. "Don't call my Suzy." She responded to his question, not at all answering his question, in part because she was annoyed at the nickname, and in part because she had no idea. It was a small package, and while she'd been given similar delivery missions before, usually it was right on the tin. "Deliver a set of gears from this workshop to this other workshop." or "Escort this delivery of tea from the capital to the outer border markets", but that wasn't present today. Then again, those were also missions for the Heart Empire, she was playing by Konoha's rules today. Were ninja always so secretive? Maybe that's why some of the older samurai really mistrusted them.

Her senses weren't turned up, so she barely noticed the branch cracking, and when Beeko yelled out about dirt hands, the only thing that entered her mind was a child like Yamabiko with hands full of mud trying to leave handprints all over Suzuko's mostly clean and relatively nice clothes. She recoiled back onto one foot, holding her entire body back from the slightly older boy as his leg was pulled down into the dirt. Another incorrect assumption, she assumed he was crouching down awkwardly to make some kind of leap attack, and without noticing their actual attacker, she did a handspring backflip to create distance between them, when the strange looking babyman finally made himself fully visible. She was just about to make a comment pretending not to know what he was talking about, but was slowed down too much trying not to laugh at his ridiculous visage, when Beeko spoiled the entire thing.

She didn't address the robber, but rather Beeko. "Well he probably didn't until you said something!" She complained, almost entirely forgetting they were under attack by some ridiculous looking lad. "Aren't you ninja supposed to be all suave and smooth?" She sighed and rolled her eyes. This was her first experience in a ninja village, on a ninja mission, and her partner sure was setting a bad example. Hopefully nobody in the next village she visited would be annoying like this, or have pink hair. That would be gross. "Besides, I don't have the box." She said, confidently, because it was technically true. "And even if I did, I wouldn't give it to some... Weird, gross alien man." She said in that biting way that children could that would hurt your feelings because you knew they were just being honest and tactless rather than intentionally cruel. It would inflict serious psychic damage as she folded her arms, and made to start walking a wide berth around the man, practically ignoring his existence as if he was just some stinky slime on the side of the road rather than a serious threat.

[strength +1]

[7eleven]

Without really taking the time to process even a single word about what his new partner Suzy had said, Beeko started making moves. He channeled chakra - he bet this goofy looking egg kid didn't even know how to channel chakra without using handseals. This was gonna be so easy. There was absolutely no way a guy with a head shaped like that could be a good shinobi. He didn't even have any cool clothes or cool accessories... It was as if someone had made a comic book about the adventures of Beeko and Suzy and just drew this guy really fast without caring what he looked like because he was never going to show up in the comic again except for maybe at the very end of the comic to reveal that he was actually Suzy's old partner who was crushed into forty mangled chunks by an unusually large boulder and also he's been the actual bad guy the entire time (there's actually another, deeper level of bad guy) and that his head is actually regular shaped and that the weird egg head is just a mask to hide his identity and the fact that half of his face is gone which would make it really not regular shaped, huh? After channeling chakra through his leg, he pushed one of the golem seeds he kept hidden in his wooden foot out through the bottom of his heel to rest on the surface of the ground to be activated in a later step of his plan.

Beeko started listening to Suzy again just in time to hear her call the kid a weird, gross alien man, which got a genuine and hearty laugh out of the genin. "Ha, yeah! You are weird and gross!" He said, pointing at the egg man with his left hand as if to punctuate the word "gross". "I bet that's not even your real head!" He dropped his left hand to his left hip, gripped his mallet by the head, pulled it free from his belt, and tossed it into the air in just a way that it did a single and complete rotation so that the handle came to rest perfectly in his right hand- a move he had practiced hundreds of times to get just right. This was also part of the plan, a little something the professional shinobi called misdirection.

He then took off running headlong at the weird gross alien head kid, lifting his mallet over his head with clear intent of smashing it right through the top of his head. Of course, that entire time Satori had been channeling chakra to cause his golem to burst forth from the seed behind him. Beeko's intention was to distract his arch rival from the golem by charging in, which would obviously work because this guy was just really not that good. And of course, while he was running straight at the kid, he was ALSO channeling chakra, so that right before colliding with him he activated a third jutsu to switch places with his beloved Arimaki. The intent was for the weird kid to be focused on the mallet, and then BAM, you've got wooden mandibles clamped to your shin. Now this maneuver took a great deal of chakra control to get the time just so, and Beeko even had to push himself a little bit to get that last jutsu pulled off before crashing into his opponent. It was really close. If the kid didn't get out of the way, the golem would chomp down on him and attempt to hold him firmly in place.

Control +1

[Nick]

Suzuko giggled as Beeko repeated her sentiment loudly and proudly like two children bullying an older egg headed alien man. Which they were. She was content to just watch her companion handle this little idiot that was trying to assault them while they delivered whatever mystery was inside this box, thanks to the sneakiness of the hidden ninja villages making it awfully difficult to figure out what it was without opening up the package themselves. Briefly she considered doing so, actually, but internally reconciled with herself that doing so was dishonorable, and her hosts back in the Mizutane would heavily disapprove And maybe more importantly, she would also be likely to get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out! And who knew if these ninja had some kind of anti tampering seals to make sure nobody opened it before it arrived... Or maybe Beeko would rat her out! Without Akihiko's mischievous influence over her, she was unlikely to actually do such a thing anyway.

She was moderately impressed about the way that he was handling himself, that weird little hammer toss he did reminded her of those kendama performers who practiced for hundreds of hours, and she giggled to herself once again thinking of how many times he must have played with his hammer while bored to achieve such a thing. Unfortunately for him, the man wasn't going to stand around doing nothing, and did a series of hand seals before flooding the battlefield with an unfortunate amount of smoke. That caused Suzuko to wave a hand in front of her face and cough. As it cleared rather fast, two things would become apparent. First, that Beeko's attack would be quite successful, clamping jaws of his gross beetle friend, and second, that the large puff of smoke would be him creating about a dozen clones of himself, stupid giant head and all, all posed in various different ridiculous super sentai type poses, which might have been a Jojo reference. Oh, and a third thing. The giant pincers of his gross bug thing chomped down, and that stupid giant head of his cracked... And fell off... Causing the beetle to fall off... Only to reveal a head exactly the same size and shape underneath the mask!

"Ew, they're multiplying!" She complained loudly, getting into a fighting stance herself, one taught by Rio to be prepared to draw and dish out damage with thrown weapons at a moment's notice. "It's probably because you cracked his stupid gross bug shell!" She said, placing the blame squarely on Beeko as she started to slowly back up, tensing her body and pulling a fistful of shuriken free from one of the many pouches on Fukurou kun. With a flick of her wrist, she lodged three into the giant forehead of one of the clones, causing it to poof into smoke, where the others all retaliated at the same time "Hey, that hurts! Don't do that!" Which Suzuko found pretty ridiculous, clones didn't feel pain, clearly.

Another fistful of shuriken entered her hand. "Shouldn't we just, like, run?" She asked loudly, directed at Beeko, only to receive a response from the clone herd "Not until you give us that package!" They cried out in unison, all turning towards Suzuko at once and charging. She didn't have time or martial capability to dodge all of them at once like this, so she did what she could, reaching into the backpack and pulling something large out that was immediately covered in a swarm of clones, before the backpack was tossed out of the swarm of clones and towards Beeko.

Unable to be seen under the dogpile of men, Suzuko had slipped into her steam powered puppet, and was starting the engines from inside as the body of the puppet was buffeted by a series of blows and punches from the 'men'.

[Strength +1]

[7eleven]

Beeko felt an enormous sense of accomplishment when the mandibles of his golem clamped down on the stinky weird alien egg kid. Having been distracted by trying to beat him up, Beeko hadn't really noticed until he was really close to him just a moment ago that...yeah, this dude was really stinky. It was almost like the smell of really dirty socks, but like, all over his body. Like all of his clothes and maybe even his skin and his hair were made out of stinky socks. Maybe this guy was actually a golem like Arimaki, but instead of using nice smelling wood like a smart person, he made his golems out of all of his old stinky socks. Or maybe it was a distractionary tactic, in which case...pay attention, dammit! Don't let his smelly strategy get the best of you! Beeko had been so thoroughly distracted by just how god awful this guy smelled that he almost missed the fact that his golem biting down on the kid's leg caused his head to split open - if this really was a scene from The Adventures of Beeko and Suzy, then that is what some might call a "small plot hole", but since this was real life and not a weird collaborative effort of two thirty year olds about two children beating up a third, stinky and oddly shaped child, it wasn't a plot hole at all, but merely an odd coincidence - to reveal...the same thing?! What the hell was wrong with this guy? Who wears a mask the same as their own head? What's the point? What does it accomplish? Or maybe it was another distractionary tactic! Ah, damn!

It a great deal of concentration and willpower for Beeko to tear his thoughts away from the smell of old socks and the confusion of a man who wore a mask of his own face, but he was able to do so just in time to see Suzy doing something with her backpack before being absolutely dogpiled by a mass of stinky egg kids. Well, Beeko didn't actually know if all of the clones were just as stinky as egg kid proper. At least he hoped not, because that would really suck. He imagined, for a moment, what it would be like to have so many strange looking, smelling like a pile of old socks guys piling on top of you. He imagined having about 12 human sized piles of dirty socks dumped onto him to form a single massive megapile of stinky dirty socks and - Ah, damn! He got distracted again! This smelly ugly kid was really testing the limits of Beeko's willpower with his nasty foot stink. Anyways, Beeko used all of his willpower to take his focus off of the smell of stinky nasty sock kid and onto the backpack that his friend Suzy and thrown out of the stinky megapile and towards him. Beeko didn't really understand why Suzy would throw the backpack to him, but he wasn't really able to ask her given incredibly stinky circumstances. Beeko was definitely going to need to take a shower at the next available opportunity, maybe even wash the inside of his nose with soap just to wash out the memory of how badly this egg kid sm- Ah, damn! He got distracted again! But using yet another impressive display of willpower, Beeko poured all of his concentration into the leather sack flying through the air. He ran off towards it so that he could intercept it, grabbing it with an outreached hand and smoothly slinging it onto his back.

Willpower +1

[Nick]

Suzuko knew that it had been, like a couple of weeks in meta time, but really Beeko should have remembered that the package they were protecting was in her backpack, which would probably explain why she'd tossed it over to him for protection when she was the one being swarmed by dozens of little gross egg headed idiots trying to rob them for some reason. Regardless, the package would be at least somewhat safe on his back, and Suzuko could focus on concentrating on getting out of this sticky, stinky, sock reminiscent situation without worrying about their mission objective being stolen by this stupid background character visible only in a single frame during any other episode of the show.

The steam engines of Suzuko's puppet RESOLVE whirred to life and began to dump warm steam out of their vents as they turned the gears and pumped the pistons that made the device work. Inside the padded interior, she flicked several switches and shoved her arms and legs into their appropriate slots, grasping her hands and fingers around the strung out rings that allowed her to control the hands of the larger than life mechanics of the puppet. It didn't actually take all this effort to slide into the puppet for Suzuko because she knew its operations and mechanics so well, and it didn't really need all this warm up, but such things were dramatic and made for good scenes when presented on screen to an audience of... Well, probably less than ten people, but she hoped they enjoyed watching as close of an approximation to a magical girl transformation as she got. The world needed more magical girl transformation sequences.

The little gross egg men that crawled all over her had time to lock themselves all around the joints of the puppet, however, which was a major downside of a magical girl transformation sequence. However, Suzuko was already quite strong for an eleven year old, and the puppet made her even stronger, and now that the transformation sequence was complete, she was ready to blow off some steam! The gentle and warm steam billowing out of the puppet started to increase in volume and heat, and Beeko would probably be able to see it leaking out between gross baby men, before they would suddenly explode outward, being tossed ridiculous distances that probably wouldn't normally be allowed per the rules of physics or whatever that bound them. They would impact various trees within the forests of Fire Country, one would twinkle away into the sky, yelling something about blasting off, and others would skid along the dirt path, leaving Suzuko standing there doing a really cool pose as the steam started to clear around her.

A couple of the egg-headed men would still be latched on, one on each 'bicep' of RESOLVE, one clinging onto the left 'shin', and two more clung onto the back. Beeko sure seemed like he wasn't doing a whole lot except catching things, so she figured he could handle her throwing some of the work his way. The giant strong mitts of the puppet would cross over the chest cavity, grabbing the egg man on the opposite bicep, before ripping them off and throwing them to Beeko. "Batter up!" She called to him, her voice projected and tinny from inside the metal suit. With those two taken care of, hopefully, she needed to get the last three off. She looked down at the one clinging onto her shin, and an evil glare in her eye was matched with a pathetic wimper as she shoved her fist clean through the clone, causing it to poof into smoke. The two on her back would have to be dealt with next post, though, because they were more difficult and we also already reached 600 words a couple sentences ago.

[Strength +1]

[7eleven]

For some unknown reason, Beeko was feeling a bit defensive- of course he knew that the mission objective package was tucked away safely into his friend Suzy's odd saliva laden backpack. He just didn't think that lobbing it through the air when she didn't have clear line of sight- Beeko was suddenly distracted from his defensive thoughts that were in no way in response to Suzy's internal thoughts, because he wasn't psychic or anything like that, it was just a coincidence that he was thinking about it immediately after Suzy was, not that he knew what Suzy was thinking about- Beeko was suddenly distracted from his meta defensive thoughts by what seemed to be a bunch of steam pouring out of the giant stinky megapile of egg kid clones. Beeko's immediate assumption was that this was some Suiton technique that he had never seen before, perhaps it was some special Heart Empire jutsu that no one else from Konoha had even seen before! Similar to how he had gotten defensive by pure coincidence just a few seconds before, he found himself wincing as if someone had made a terrible pun despite the fact that he hadn't hear a pun because, as mentioned previously, it's not like Beeko was psyc- Beeko was suddenly distracted from his meta wincing by the megapile of stinky egg kids being flung outwards in all directions (unfortunately, this also caused the stench to waft explosively in all directions as well) to reveal...a freakin ROBOT? His friend Suzy has a ROBOT?! Whoa! Beeko glanced momentarily over to his golem Arimaki...and then back to Suzy's actual R O B O T. Beeko would definitely need to step up his golem game if he was going to continue to be friends with Suzy, because this was honestly just embarrassing.

But Beeko didn't have time to be self conscious about his golem, because Suzy had used her super cool robot to lob something else in his direction- one of the stinky egg kid clones. Seriously, why did the clones also smell bad? He felt like that had to have been intentional, which was honestly just kind of rude. Nasty alien kid. Beeko figured that this would be a good opportunity to try out a jutsu that he hadn't actually learned yet, but he figured that it was probably fine since this wasn't really PvP, and that there was a decent chance that whoever would be looking over his mod later wouldn't actually take the time to look at his character sheet to see if this jutsu was actually on there, except for the fact that I wrote it down here in the post, but maybe they wouldn't take the time to read this, and there was a non-zero chance that he would add the jutsu before then anyways, so whatever. Beeko channeled chakra into his mallet, causing the mallet head to quadruple in size and the handle to extend in length by 2 feet. Gripping the handle close to the end for a exaggerated comic effect, Beeko poured all of his strength into his swing. He did a single full rotation to gain momentum, timing his spin perfectly so that the hammer head connected with the stinky egg clone precisely when it needed to- obliterating him into a puff of, unfortunately, very stinky smoke. Despite the fact that the clone no longer existed, Beeko gripped his now oversized mallet close to the head and let his arm hang down while he raised his right hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he feigned following the trajectory of the now nonexistent clone off into the distance, as if he had hit a homerun. Did baseball exist in this universe? A quick google search would confirm that there was an outro that depicted baseball which is good enough for me.

Strength +1

[Nick]

Beeko should be defensive, because Suzuko definitely thought little of him. Not the man behind the boy, but the boy himself. He seemed like kind of a little jerk, and he kept referring to her as Suzy even though she'd specifically requested otherwise, and while she didn't know that, she felt it in an indescribable way like how you could tell that someone was thinking about you naked, or you could feel their eyes boring into the back of your skull while you were turned around. Maybe all humans were a little bit psychic? Social cues were one thing, but to be able to read your opponent's mind in situations like when you were thinking that your opponent thought that you thought that they were stupid, well, something had to be there, right? She was probably just overthinking things, though, she did that a lot. Maybe that's why people could read her mind.

Regardless she watched her... Well, she hesitated to call him a friend, because so far she really didn't like him, but mission partner, take a successful home run, giving her a moment to commentate. "Going, going... It's good! Touchdown!" She exclaimed, knowing full well that was the correct terminology for basketball rather than hockey like they were playing. Haha, she was such a rascal. Sportsball. Anyway. Now that the momentary distraction was over, she was able to return to the rest of the regularly scheduled programming, otherwise known as the two clones clinging to her back. However, they weren't just clinging, they'd been punching and beating on the shell of RESOLVE the entire time, which while it was quite good at absorbing impacts, getting hit while wearing armor was still quite painful, it mostly just helped prevent you from getting sliced wide open and bleeding out on the ground. Instead, it keeps all the bleeding internally, which is where all the blood is supposed to be anyway.

She didn't have tools for dealing with this exact situation, and she made a mental note to maybe talk to her Kisama mechanic about installing some kind of "don't touch me or you get electrocuted" type mechanism within RESOLVE. She didn't really like people touching her in general, because usually it was to condescendingly pat her on the head, and the thought of those people being electrocuted filled her with energy. And them. Regardless, she was being beat on rather consistently by small fists that while relatively weak were starting to wear on her during the long gag they'd just participated in. However, she strengthened her own resolve since RESOLVE was doing most of the work, and brought her mind to a state of focus to help her fight off these jerkbags.

With a deep breath, she reached around to her back awkwardly like a man with too many muscles trying to remove a kick me sign from his back, unable to reach them. She thought for a moment about what the right course of action might be... Before realizing that she was in a giant padded chamber, and she didn't exactly need to fully stay in there. Using her side-saddle technique, which unlike her partner was actually on her sheet and accepted, meaning she WAS NOT breaking any rules, she popped her head out of the hatch on the top of the puppet, shouting at the stinky men. "Get off grosswads!"

They didn't listen to her of course, and she definitely wouldn't wait for them to respond either, pulling one of her throwing knives out from the projectile launcher of RESOLVE and hucking it down at one of them, before forming a set of handseals to shoot a wind bullet at the other. She wiped her hands clean as they both puffed into smoke, and sunk back into her suit as the hatch closed behind her, satisfied in a job well done and safely away from the stink clouds thanks to the air filtration systems of her puppet.

But wait, if those had ALL been clones, where was the real one?!

[Strength +1]

[7eleven]

I wasn't able to find any evidence of American football existing within the Naruto universe, so Beeko thought that "touchdown" was a completely nonsensical thing to say. What did that even mean? He hadn't even touched the clone- he had used he knocked him with his big ass mallet. And he hadn't knocked the clone down... if anything, he had knocked the clone up! But then again, that didn't really sound right either. Whatever. Anyways. I was able to find evidence of soccer existing in the Naruto universe, so Beeko's celebratory "Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal!" would have made way more sense than Suzy's thing to anyone who heard it, which was just himself, his friend Suzy, and the weird egg kid. Wait, where even was that guy, anyway? Beeko hadn't really thought about it until now, but all of the ones that him and his friend Suzy (well, mostly Suzy) had beaten up were clones, so the real one must be around here somewhere.

Beeko surveyed the area before locking eyes with the weird smelly alien boy, who was, in fact, exactly where they had left him with his leg caught in the mandibles of Arimaki. Upon locking eyes with the kid, Beeko became suddenly aware that he had been watching in passive fear this entire time as he and his friend had used a giant mallet and a robot (well, mostly the robot) to totally obliterate all of his clones. Beeko decided to act quickly because, in spite of the fact that the stinky boy had remained trapped in place for several posts, that any minute he could break free so Beeko would need to go really really fast to make this work. He took over sprinting headlong at the man, the thud of every footfall reverberating in his chest, his legs pumping with as much speed as he could muster to carry him across the battlefield before the villain made his timely escape from his golem despite not having done so this entire time.

Keeping with the sports theme of the past several posts, Beeko had the sudden realization that the egg kid's head was also shaped a little bit like a ball, and Arimaki was in this scenario functioning quite a bit like a tee, and his hammer was basically just a giant club. He raised his giant mallet over his head and shouted "Four!" as he attempted to swing his hammer down onto the top of the alien man's weirdly lumpy skull. Which wasn't how golf worked at all, you didn't go sprinting as fast as you possibly could towards your ball with the express purpose of using your club to smash the ball into the ground exactly where it was. Which was ultimately fine, as I couldn't find any evidence of golf existing in the Naruto Universe, and so there wasn't really any reason for Beeko to have any understanding of golf whatsoever, which makes one wonder how Beeko knew to shout "four," but we're just not going to worry about that because the entire point of this post is that he spent at least 600 words getting from his previous location to the egghead's location as quickly as possible so that he would grow marginally faster as a result of his efforts.

Unfortunately, Beeko was not fast enough- as the head of his mallet came crashing down on the stinky boy's skull, he disappeared with a poof, implying that either this one was also a clone, or that he had used a substitution technique to teleport somewhere else. Either way, he wasn't where Beeko thought he was.

Speed +1

[Nick]

"Does this like, happen a lot with ninjas and stuff?" Suzuko asked, trying to remember anecdotes from her samurai teacher's youths if they'd ever encountered anything so weird and been made to act in strange ways that apparently neither Suzuko nor Beeko understood, as if everything they'd been doing was actually entirely out of their control and instead in the hands of two middle-aged men who didn't understand 'the youths' and were kind of just adding all sorts of references that they thought might be cool and topical from an ironic point of view, but it also may have been one of those situations where they'd started doing it ironically, but over time it became 'real', and now they can't stop saying it at all because it's a standard part of their vocabulary.

Or maybe, just maybe, it wasn't two middle aged adults, but instead the work of... The stinky egg man! Suzuko paused for a moment as the smoke cleared around Beeko's hammer as he shouted. "Four? Four what?" She said, blinking and starting to realize that something was wrong for the first time. She'd been enjoying herself, and her emotions had felt pretty in control compared to her usual anxiety ridden brain that racked her body in such a way that she often felt useless in social situations because of. "And what's a... Touchdown..." She said, agreeing with the voice of the other middle aged man speaking to her, and suddenly her mind lit ablaze. She'd been acting more or less in character for her usual self, but at the same time it was clearly influenced by outside factors, and the more she thought about it, the more she had to think back to her lessons at Doushikai academy.

Ninja were a tricksy bunch, her samurai teachers had told her, and sometimes used this thing called genjutsu to get people to act out of the norm of what they might usually, and get them to see, hear, and feel things that weren't actually real. The academy even had an elective on the subject that she'd taken that was built to help one recognize when they were captured inside of one, and even on how to use some of the tricksy techniques themselves, when appropriate. She brought her hands together in the classic position for the chakra kai, and flooded her body with chakra to push out a foreign influence that she didn't have the sensory manipulation to recognize inside of herself.

She came out of the illusion and was shaken, looking around everywhere to get her bearings. She was still standing in the same place she had been in the illusion, more or less, so clearly her body had been moving around as normal, but... Beeko was standing there, celebrating his victory over the defeated, smoked out eggman, who from her now freed perspective, she could not see. Instead, what she COULD see was the real stinky eggman standing behind Beeko, using one of his clones on all fours as a footstool to dig around inside of Fukuro-Kun, who while caught in the genjutsu as well, did not like that someone was digging around inside of him and could feel it, and was chewing on his arms, flailing him about a bit.

"Beeko, it's a trick!" She said loudly, activating the steam engines to max power, moving at an unmatched speed towards him and the eggman. She didn't know if Beeko was proficient enough with genjutsu to actually break himself out of the illusion, and because of the way that posts worked she couldn't see if he was trying to break himself out by her word alone, leaving her with the other option mentioned to her by her teachers in the academy... Pain!

Her mechanized fist would wind back, and make a beeline for Beeko's face, Suzuko clearly intent on knocking him out of the illusory effects one way or another!

[Willpower +1]

[7eleven]

It happened so fast that Beeko didn't have time to react- one second he was smashing through the egg kid's clone with a massive hammer, and then suddenly Suzy's super cool robot appeared right in front of him and smashed him right in his face with a big metal fist. Why was this happening? Was Suzy mad at him? Was the robot mad at him? Beeko found that to be rather unfortunate. Partly because he was currently being punched in the face, but partly because this was the only time he had ever seen a robot and he had already upset it to the point of physically assaulting him. Or, maybe...Beeko hadn't done anything wrong at all...and this was the start of the uprising and the robot was coming after Beeko because it was actually from the future and knew that Beeko would grow up to be lead the human resistance against the tyrannical machine overlords. He wondered if Suzy knew that her robot was actually an agent of the evil robot emperor sent back in time to kill him. Or maybe...maybe Suzy was implicated in this too! Maybe...maybe Suzy was even a robot! How deep did this go? Was this entire mission just a set up? He didn't want to believe that Suzy wasn't actually his friend, they had been through so much together, like... the other time that she physically assaulted him in the face. There was definitely a pattern developing that indicated that Suzy might have it out for him.

Not having seen it coming, Beeko took the full force of the robot's fist right into his face and he immediately felt an incredible pain radiating through his entire skull, it felt almost as if the steel fist would just crack straight through his skull and out of the back of his head. Beeko had never been hit with a wrecking ball before (do wrecking balls exist in the Naruto universe?) but he imagined that this is roughly what that would feel like. His limbs became entangled with the stinky egg kid's as they both went careening comically, their bodies skipping like a stone across the ground. This, of course, brought more pain as his body smashed against the ground and his skull bounced off the alien egg kid's skull. Eventually, their bodies came to a stop when they crashed into a tree. This whole thing was feeling uncomfortably familiar, and he made a mental note to try not to get smashed in the face as much moving forward.

Luckily for Beeko, the stinky egg kid took most of the impact of smashing into the tree. He quickly scrambled to his feet and looked down to look at the egg kid and was surprised to see a large crack down the middle of his face...revealing that his face was actually a mask! Beeko bent down slowly and dramatically, reaching towards his face to remove the mask. If this was a children's cartoon, there would likely be very ominous music in the background to manipulate the audience into feeling a particular way about the imminent reveal of the egg kid's identity, with a long and drawn out shot of Beeko's hand trembling as it neared the mask, and a voice over of Beeko's internal monologue saying something about finally solving the mystery. Beeko removed the mask, revealing that underneath...was exactly the same! What was this guy?!

Endurance +1

[Nick]

Hah, Suzuko was so smart. Beeko didn't even try to understand the genjutsu they were in, and so it was pretty clear that her fist smashing through his face was the only reason he managed to break free from the clearly pretty powerful illusion that this dumb egg kid was casting upon them. She really hated ninja and their stupid illusory tricks, lies and deceit were becoming more and more common as she visited the ninja villages, especially within Konoha, apparently! Weren't they supposed to be known for friendliness and teamwork there? She wondered briefly if people had the opposite ideas, when she went to visit Iwa and Kiri, would they be this sneaky too, or was this a Konoha trait? Akihiko had been a bit of a trickster in Kumo, certainly, and he did everything he could to get the gang in as much trouble as possible, but he never really lied to them. This hopefully didn't have any long-reaching implications for Suzuko's impressions of the major villages that would carry over into her adulthood and impact the development of her entire young generation.

In reality she had quite a positive experience meeting such a wide variety of people from so many different places and backgrounds. It was the kind of worldly context that many full grown adults never got to experience or have their entire lives, despite the fact that some clearly needed to get out and, as the kids say, touch grass. Unfortunately, being a child, she didn't quite have the context for the context, which for some may have been a good thing as it meant no external sources influencing her raw, honest opinion, for others might well mean that this is just how things were now, not a broadening of culture and knowledge, but rather a broader baseline that might be even harder to broaden in the future. It was a messy situation, and the author is pretty certain that nobody reading this is an actual child psychologist, and he himself is only an armchair psychologist at the best of times.

Psychological ramblings aside, Suzuko did a speedy little jog over to the location of Beeko and his new best friend. Before checking on either of them, she'd pick up Fukuro-kun and give him a gentle dusting off, who grumbled his thanks, before setting him on the ground next to her, and hopping out of her mech. She had the opportunity to see the mask be removed only to reveal... Was it another mask!? Maybe the two were wrong, and he wasn't an egg man, but rather... AN ONION MAN? He had so many layers! He might even be considered ready to go for winter, or worse, an ogre! "Is he dead?" She asked, squinting a bit. Had she murdered a guy? She was pretty sure she'd never done that before. Terrified a guy before, maybe, beaten up a bandit until they could hardly move once or twice, but murder was a different story!

She prodded egg onion man with her foot. "Well... Is there like... A community office to take him to, here?" She asked, pretty tired and worn out from this whole ordeal by this point. Back home in Tea there would have been clearly marked offices for processing criminals strategically placed throughout the cities, but she didn't know if ninja operated in a similar fashion. "We can't just leave him here, and Fukuro-Kun says he stinks too much to carry inside him." She wrinkled her nose, even being this close to him was a bit of an endurance test all on its own. "Is there like a lake nearby we can drag him through, or...?"

[Endurance +1]

[7eleven]

Beeko wasn't entirely sure what just happened, which made him feel kind of stupid. All he knew was that his friend Suzy had smashed him in the face (again) with her robot (cool) and that the egg kid (smelly) was knocked out on the ground at his feet. He trusted that his good friend Suzy wouldn't have clobbered him without good reason, and her plan had clearly worked, so he didn't really see much reason to get upset with her, even though his head did hurt pretty bad right now.

Beeko shook out his hair, hoping to dislodge any debris that he had picked up during this most recent Suzy-induced tumble into a tree. A few small twigs did dislodge from his hair and fall to the ground but, honestly, he couldn't be 100% sure that they were from this time or if they've been in there since Suzy had literally kicked him out of Konoha just a few hours prior. He made a mental note to give his hair a very thorough cleaning and brushing once this was all wrapped up. Hmm, speaking of being wrapped up...

As Suzy was gathering up her backpack, Beeko jumped into action, moving with as much speed as his tired muscles could muster. He reached his left hand around to the back of his waist and grabbed the end of his spool of ninja wire, pulling it sharply out to unspool a decent length of it. He then used to the ninja wire to firmly bind his feet together, quickly wrapping several loops of wire around the strange kid's ankles and securing it tightly (but not so tightly as to injure him, even though he did kind of deserve it). Beeko then lifted him into a sitting position so that he could wrap more wire around his torso so that his arms were bound to his sides in order to prevent him from performing handseals. This was tricky as Beeko needed to wrap the wire around the boy while also holding him up, the speed of Beeko's wrapping proved helpful.

As he was doing so, the golem, Arimaki, made its way over to Beeko. When he arrived, Beeko lifted the stinky alien boy and dropped him unceremoniously onto the golem before using the last bit of ninja wire to firmly secure him to Arimaki for easy transport. It was a good thing that Beeko had done this with as much speed as possible, as shortly after wrapping up (hehehe), the stinky onion boy opened his eyes and began struggling against the wire in an attempt to break free. ""Just what do you think you're doing!? Give me that package!! I can't let you deliver it!!"

"I don't know about a lake, but now that he's tied to Arimaki we can at least carry him downwind of us..." Beeko looked down at the weird kid with an expression of annoyance and pity. Annoyance because the kid was just so funny looking that it was offensive to his eyes, and so funny smelling that it was offensive to his nose. And pity...well... for the same reasons. What a weird guy.

"Ugh! I don't stink!! Just give me the box, nerds!!" He continued thrashing against the wires, but to no avail- Beeko had secured him to the golem sufficiently to prevent escape.

"We'll just have to take him with us, I guess... if we keep him tied up we can just drag him along to the objective. And if they can't take him, then I guess we'll just have to take him back to Konoha with him and have him thrown in jail for like...20 years or something."

Speed +1

[Nick]

"Ugh, you're so annoying." She said, not considering for a moment that maybe the man that Beeko had now tied up might have some kind of good reason for not wanting the box delivered. She walked up to him with her hands on her hips. "If you're gonna keep being annoying, we're gonna gag you while we take you back." The heiress leaned down and gave him the gentlest of karate chops to the top of his stupid head... Causing him to disappear in a puff of smoke. At least it was unscented this time. "What...?" Suzuko asked, pretty sure she'd gotten the real one this last time... Only to find that in his place, tied up on the beetle puppet, was a log! How dare he.

"This isn't the last you've heard of Choudoufu Akimichi!" The onion man yelled from seemingly every direction at once, unable to be seen, and long gone enough for Suzuko to actually just not care at this point. "Goddamnit." The girl cursed, looking at the log, then at the surrounding forest, then to Beeko, holding a hand out to him to cast yet another healing jutsu on him to aid from the damages caused by... mostly her, actually. She'd definitely damaged him more than Choudoufu. "I'm never coming back to Konoha again." She said, making a silent promise that if she ever actually did see or hear of that man again, she'd... probably just be pretty upset. What was his name again?