Oh to be Normal

[Willoria]

"An off day huh? What causes that for a man like you? I'm curious." It wasn't meant as a dig or a witty retort at all. Suzume was genuinely curious. She had heard her father make the same comment before and it almost always meant the same thing. The person in some way reminded Kenji either of her, or her mother. He never had off days, and he never left loose ends. 'I can't help feeling like this Kotaru and my father have quite a few similarities... and that Kotaru might change his mind about killing me if I actually said that out loud.' she thought to herself. Though she couldn't help herself from making one statement. "Whenever my father said something like that, it involved a woman. Do your off days have a name too? Or is it just boredom?"

As he went on to talk about having bought the inn for three days, and even referencing her burned down home she couldn't help but realize something further about Kotaru. He wasn't trying to offend, he just simply didn't have much of a filter. His statements could certainly be seen as offensive, or taken to offend. It was easy to do, but the more Suzume listened to him the more she realized he simply spoke bluntly without really thinking about filtering his words at all or watching them. He didn't curse to be crass, it was just his manner of speech.

He motioned to the stairs though and Suzume glanced at them with some confusion. "What? You going to keep me locked in a room for three days now?" she asked, sighing as she stood and grumbled a bit more before walking towards the stairs as indicated. She idly wondered if she was going to be allowed privacy or be stuck sharing one with him.

'...just what is he planning anyway?' she wondered as she picked a random room and moved to push the door open, wondering what he'd say as she did.

[Kao]

At first Kotaru ignored her. The only response he initially gave was a side eyed glare as he slung the bag over his shoulder and waited for her to make her way towards the stairs. But then she speculated that it may have been about a woman and he visibly bristled. For a moment he refused to look at Suzume and instead trained his eyes on the opposite wall. He had barely thought of Ume that day, but now their last conversation thundered in his head. Kotaru swallowed but it did nothing to soothe his now painfully dry throat. Absentmindedly, he brought up a hand to his neck and rubbed it. That didn't help either. His eyes emptied, no longer sharp and probing.

"That's none of your damn business." His words lacked all of the bite from earlier, instead coming out as a gravelly mumble. The bannin wasn't the type of person who readily showed any emotion that suggested vulnerability. Normally he could tuck his feelings away and conceal them behind a mask of irritability. But this feeling was different. It seeped out at the most inopportune moments seemingly from every pore. It silenced him while simultaneously making him want to scream. He wanted to make someone else, anyone else, hurt more than he did. But instead, it paralyzed him into indolence and he did nothing but try to run away from it. And at times, distract himself from it.

At that moment he was tired. His body longed for a soft blanket and a firm mattress, but Suzume's presence made that more difficult. He was certain he could get more out of her at some point during their stay, but there was the chance she might try to make a run for it. He could, of course, prevent her from going anywhere indefinitely, but it was much more effort that he was willing to put into the whole ordeal. He followed her into the room without hesitation, depositing his bag and cloak on the floor. "I'd rather you not make me go through the trouble. But if I need to lock you up or restrain you, then yeah. I will." Kotaru sighed as he headed to the bathroom and let down his hair on the way inside. He smoothed his teal locks as they fell past his shoulders, only for them to be ruffled again when he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it into a corner. x "Do me a favor and don't try to run. I'm tired."

[Willoria]

Suzume raised an eyebrow. She hadn't expected to be right honestly. '...kinda strange how much he's reminding me of Kenji right now.' She simply shook her head. "Well I hadn't expected to be right." she muttered as she went up the stairs. "Suddenly I don't think I'm the one who needs to be talking to someone." she added, holding up her hands briefly as if in some kind of surrender. "Not pressing, just an observation." She sighed, and let the subject go from there.

She didn't say a word as he followed her into the room and she simply set her own bag near a corner, turning and observing as he discarded his own things. Naturally she raised an eyebrow as he let his hair fall and even discarded his shirt. "What's the point in running? I get the sense I wouldn't get that far." she quipped, finally going to the corner near her bag and sitting down with her legs crossed under her. "I don't sleep though. Can't anymore, my body is incapable." she remarked idly as she pulled the tattered journal from her bag and let it rest open in her lap. "Go ahead and rest, I'll just be here meditating, it's the closest I can get to sleep anymore."

[Kao]

“You wouldn’t. I’d hunt you down and gut you. You’d be surprised how many people try to run,” he retorted as he splashed water on his face. He watched her as he retrieved his bag again and soon he was brushing his teeth. “You know,” he continued, his words muffled as he brushed, “I’m not surprised. You downed enough sake to knock out a cow and you’re not even slurring. Besides, no one I’ve seen with a body like yours sleeps or eats. You’re the first I’ve seen who bothers to pretend to be normal.”


Back in the bathroom, the Akari finished up his pared down night routine. The routine helped him control his thoughts by focusing on each step of washing his hands and face. He rinsed his head of thoughts of Ume and sent them down the drain. The feeling up emptiness remained, but at least it had been watered down. It was all he could do at the moment since he was both exhausted and watching over Suzume. When Kotaru walked back into the room and saw Suzume sitting in the corner, he snorted and collapsed onto the bed face first. Silence filled the room for several minutes. Normally Kotaru relished the quiet, but he needed something to fill the space for a while.

The shinobi turned his head toward Suzume and stared at her with another heavy gaze. ”You asked what I plan on doing with you. After this is all over, you can come back to Iwa with me. Or,” he yawned and grabbed a pillow, tucking it under his head, ”or, you can agree to meet with me periodically and tell me what’s going on with all the criminals.”

[Willoria]

Suzume shrugged as he mentioned her habits of pretending to be normal. "I usually keep up the ruse when using the transformation." she admitted. "Everything from breath, to eating, drinking, even feigning drunk sometimes. If I don't, shinobi always catch on, even civilians get weirded out. It's just more comfortable for everyone involved if I pretend at least. But once my real face is out... well there's hardly a point once that's visible is there." she admitted with another shrug.

She fixed her eyes down on the journal and flipped through a couple of pages to find something in particular she seemed to be looking for. She settled on reading it for a few moments in silence as Kotaru went on with his routine and she didn't bother interrupting him. She heard him snort at her even and she just shook her head at him without even looking up.

She closed the journal quietly and slipped it back into her back before closing her eyes to meditate before she heard him speak. "While I wouldn't mind seeing what it's like, I'd rather not go if that meant I wouldn't be able to leave ever again..." she remarked, sighing rather heavily for someone who technically didn't need to breath before opening her eyes again and looking at him for a moment. "You understand if you want to strike a deal with me as your informant I'll need something in return eventually... or at least an understanding that at times there will be things I have to hold back to keep from putting a target on my back?"

[Kao]

“Something in return like what?” he asked while lifting his head, sounding almost incredulous. “I’m letting you walk out of here. I might even give the Enkouten that band. What more could you possibly want?” It had been a while since Kotaru had dealings with someone outside of the village, especially someone he could use for his own purposes. Something told him her demands wouldn’t be too outrageous but it was always hard to be sure with people he didn’t know well. If she was anything like the typical rogue or samurai, she would try to use him just as much as he was using her.

Kotaru rolled over onto his back, still eying her as sleep started to take hold. Closing his eyes around a stranger made him uneasy, but he was so exhausted that he could risk a few minutes of rest. He was a light sleeper, especially when he was on his guard, so if she thought about making any unnecessary moves she would be quickly stopped.

[Willoria]

Suzume fell quiet for a moment as he asked what she'd want. She knew he'd probably just laugh at her for what was really on her mind, for what she really wanted. She suspected he already had a fairly negative view of her for a few reasons, aside from the most obvious of her parentage. The woman looked at her bag for a moment, thinking about the brand band and the journal within as she wondered if she dared voice what was really on her mind, what she really wanted above all. "I want a home." she finally admitted.

She didn't let her eyes leave the bag, not willing to watch Kotaru's response to her statements. She already felt more than a little self conscious. "Some day some one will find out either that I'm getting information for you, or I'll simply be done with this damn life. Moving around at a constant. I'm sick of living like a wild animal, of belonging no where. For once I want what my mother robbed me of by having me in secret in the middle of no where. A place in the village where I should have been born."

Suzume leaned back into the corner with her head resting against the wall as she finally looked at Kotaru. "I work for you, then eventually I want a home in Iwa."

[Kao]

’…What?’ Kotaru looked at her with a touch of disbelief. That wasn’t the response he expected, and he was beginning to understand what kind of person he was dealing with. Unless she was putting on a masterful front, Suzume was no criminal mastermind. For all intents and purposes, she was a rather normal girl who had been scarred by her upbringing and experiences. In some ways Kotaru could relate; life was difficult when one had no place of refuge. Most Akari knew the feeling very well. Even with a home it was hard to feel safe growing up in the compound, and it took strength and companionship for Kotaru to eventually grow comfortable with himself and his home. He almost sympathized with her.

The Akari gave a slow, quiet sigh and lowered his head back onto the pillow. ”Give me the information I want and I’ll see what I can do.” His eyes closed and he started to relax, though he opened his eyes again a few times to look at her. Her relation to Kenji made her quite valuable and there were all sorts of possibilities. But for now all he could about was the fact that she reminded him of someone he would rather forget. ”Any other demands before I go to sleep?”

[Willoria]

Suzume had to fight pretty hard to keep from giving him a strange look in return. She kept her expression as blank as possible as she watched him, watching his expression change, the shifts in his body language even as he rest his head on the pillow. Honestly she was a little surprised he didn't try to argue with her about it and came as close as he probably could to agreeing to it. 'Kenji would call me an idiot for agreeing to any of this... not just for trusting an Iwa shinobi, but for being an informant for them at all...' she thought to herself for a moment. '...but I'm not him.' she reminded herself.

He asked her another question and the woman shook her head. "Nothing else. I'll be your informant." she said simply. She saw him glance at her a few times and gave a small chuckle. "I realize you don't trust me, but all the glances aren't going to help you sleep. I'd guess you're experienced enough you probably sleep light enough that if I move you'll know." she remarked before leaning her head back into the corner and closing her eyes for her meditations.

"Rest, Kotaru." she told him. "You need it more than I do." she added, smirking lightly.

[Kao]

Kotaru hummed in the affirmative, already beginning to drift off. The current situation meant he refused to allow himself to enjoy a deep sleep. Instead, he had restless, dreamless slumber. He turned over often, letting out small grunts and moans whenever he couldn’t get comfortable. When he awoke the next morning, he was almost just as tired as he had been the previous night and he was twice as grumpy.


Periodically, he asked Suzume if she had anything else to tell him. When she would inevitably tell him no, Kotaru would spend a lot of time ignoring any questions she might have for him. He remained suspicious of her, giving her looks as if he expected her to make a break for it at any moment. But she was surprisingly cooperative, and it didn’t take much for the pair to work out a communication method and schedule. Each day he sat with her and ate with her, and at night he slept in the same room with her and endured restless sleep each time. By the time the third day rolled around, he was as comfortable as he could be with letting her go.

Their parting was kept short. He simply waved her off without a second look back and said over his shoulder, ”See you soon, Suzume.”