I Hope You Understand

[Amy]

“Yes, I’m sure, Shirai. I know next to nothing about them but I would bet my life - your life - that that’s what it was.”

It was late, dinner was over hours ago. After she had gone to check on Akio and seen the fuuin on his back she had raced back to camp. Somehow it answered everything and nothing. Sure, it explained his weird, explosive behavior. But it now brought to question - who was behind it? As soon as dinner had ended, Akio still not back, she and Shirai had holed up her tent to try to figure out what the next step was. He didn’t even know what they were and her sorry explanation didn’t help him to understand.

“It’s not…it’s not something you can just cut out of him. It’s not something I can heal, Shirai. It’s something that is currently a part of him.” She sighed, her hands opening and closing at a rapid speed as she paced back and forth. She meant to be talking out loud to include Shirai but the more overwhelming the problem got the more quiet she got. Whatever type of fuuin it was there was nothing she could do about it. She already knew that. And the only people in the camp who knew how to use chakra were her, Shirai, and Akio and she had taught both of them everything they knew. Which meant that it was someone outside the crew. But when would someone have gotten the chance to do it? It was not supposed to be an easy process, it should have been painful.

Did he know and he was just hiding it because he didn’t want to worry people? That sounded even less like Akio than the Akio who had hit her. If he knew about it he would have told someone…anyone. And then anyone would have told her because they relied on her for everything like this. Why did no one tell her? Why didn’t Akio tell her? Who would do such a thing to Akio who did his best constantly to try to help everyone. Who woul-

Tsubaki stopped pacing and blinked at Shirai who had grabbed her hand, prying open her palm and exposing the drips of blood from where her nails had pierced her skin. She wrapped her fingers around his, squeezing them tightly. What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t stay, she couldn’t go. She couldn’t leave Akio like this, poisoned. But she was worthless. For all that everyone idolized her she was actually useless. Even knowing what it was she didn’t even know where to begin getting it removed. How was she supposed to find someone who knew how to remove fuuin? She couldn’t just go up to every stranger and ask them if they were a ninja and if they knew how. That was a damn good way to draw attention to herself.

She released Shirai’s hand, rubbing her palms angrily across her face.

“Remember how easy things were when Akio was just trying to fight bears?”

[ThatGuy]

Shirai listened the best he could as Tsubaki paced back and forth and spoke like a madwoman. She had been under so much stress today that he couldn’t help but feel like he was witnessing the beginning of a breakdown. Her episode in the woods was one thing, she’d just been so overwhelmed, but this was different. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe her, Tsubaki was the only person in the camp who truly understood chakra. Even if that wasn’t the case, he’d believe her anyway. He didn’t really get what she was talking about, but he trusted her. The problem was in her demeanor. It was as if she was possessed. When Isobe mentioned Akio leaving, she ran off on her own and hadn’t been acting the same since. When Tsubaki’s hands started bleeding, he reached out and pried them open, trying to get her to stop. He chuckled when she mentioned Akio trying to fight bears.

“Yeah it was definitely much easier to babysit back in those days. Now we have twice as many babies to look after, and I swear they’re getting even dumber.”

He motioned for Tsubaki to sit next to him, but quickly realized that she was not going to. As much as he wanted to at least hold her hand, he had a feeling that it would only stress her out further. Shirai wanted to tell her to calm down but didn’t know how to do so without making it seem like he was invalidating her. If he wasn’t careful, he might accidentally give the impression that he thought she was grasping at straws.

“Okay I’m not going to pretend to understand what’s going on, but Akio has some sort of magical chakra tattoo that’s changing his thoughts. We don’t know how or when he got it. We don’t know why he might have it. But we know that it can alter his behavior, and it would explain why he’s been more irrational than normal.”

Deep down, part of Shirai was worried that she was looking for reasoning where there was none. That she needed there to be some cause for Akio’s outbursts. It was far more comforting to think that the giant had changed, or even worse, had always been hiding that side of himself. But he forced those doubts to the back of his mind. If he let that little voice in the back of his head get in the way of his trust in Tsubaki, he’d be no better than Akio. No matter how noble the reasoning he claimed to have.

“So where do we go from here? Do we tell Akio? Do we wait and see what happens? Do we gather some more information? I’m not sure what we’re dealing with, but I’ll help however I can. I can ask around and see if anyone has noticed Akio’s new tattoo. As far as who did it, I wouldn’t even know where to start. You, me, and Akio are the only ones who know how to use chakra, and you’re the only one who knows what these things are. Which means either they brought in outside help, or somehow there’s someone else in the crew who can use chakra and has been hiding it.”

Shirai ran his hand through his head, feeling just a portion of the stress that Tsubaki was under. Was it an exaggeration to say that they had stumbled upon a massive conspiracy theory? Looking up at Tsubaki, he did his best to hold her gaze, trying to convey the honesty in his words.

“Whatever it takes, Cutie, I’m with you to the end.”

[Amy]

As soon as Shirai released her hand she went back to pacing back and forth but she kept her hands from clenching so tightly again. She knew that what she was saying was difficult to understand and she knew she wasn’t explaining it very well. But it had been a long time since she had tasted panic like this and it was turning her stomach. She had gotten used to knowing what to do, to having answers when it came to the health of the crew. She had put so much time, effort, sweat, tears, everything into training so that they could all be safe. And now this? What was she supposed to do with this?

“I mean, I don’t know exactly what it's doing to him.” She tried to clarify, trying to organize her thoughts. “They can do…a lot. I don’t remember it all, it was so long ago that I read about it. The fact that it’s doing something to his emotional state is all speculation. It just would explain what happened earlier. If it’s interfering with him on a base level like that it would explain why he didn’t even try to listen. He couldn’t.” Tsubaki’s fingers bruised against the bruise that had blossomed across her cheek. She had considered healing it, it would only take a few minutes but…she wasn’t ready to let go of the mark yet. It would be gone on its own soon enough anyways.

“I can barely explain it to you and you only believe me because of how much you trust me. I think if we ask Akio it will just end badly. And I am positive that everyone else will just think I’m making excuses for him so that they’ll stop being pissed at him. You heard the talk at dinner.” Tsubaki had never heard the crew shit talk Akio like that. Sure, they had their little remarks sometimes when they didn’t agree with him but when Akio didn’t come back everyone seemed to feel emboldened and let loose with what they thought about what had happened. She was glad that they all wanted to stand up for her, that they thought how he acted was wrong. But she just wanted to tell them to hold their judgment. That just like what had happened to her in town, they didn’t have the full story of what was going on with Akio. But they didn’t even understand her healing jutsu. They would never understand what Shirai referred to as a “magical chakra tattoo.”

“I don’t think anyone could still be hiding chakra use from me after all this time. Unless it’s one of the new members? I don’t know.”

Tsubaki finally stopped pacing, sinking down into a squat and resting her head in her hands. What was she going to do? The weight of the question felt like it was suffocating her. She could taste it in her mouth, what to do what to do what to do??? It was so heavy because she knew. In the bottom of her heart, she knew. She had known the minute she saw the seal. The plan wasn’t fully formed yet but it was there, tightening chains around her heart, dragging it down. There was only one thing that she could do but she wasn’t ready to acknowledge that yet. So she would continue to fret with Shirai in the hopes that something else would come to mind.

She just hoped that he meant what he said. Because she knew he might never forgive her.

“Ok. With that in mind, I think for tonight, we sleep. Akio still hasn’t come back and we won’t get help from anyone else. You’ll stay here tonight, yeah?” After Shirai nodded his confirmation, Tsubaki stood, bending down and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~

She and Shirai had been awake for several hours, waiting to see if Akio had come back the night before. Tsubaki was pretty sure he was in the camp but that was confirmed when he walked out of his tent mid morning. His face was stony and he didn’t even look over at her as she walked towards him. They had agreed that morning, step one was trying to figure out if Akio knew what was on his back. The rest of the crew was giving him a wide berth so it was easy to catch him alone.

“I’m going to cut to the chase,” Tsubaki started before Akio could say anything. Shirai stood several paces back from her. She kept her hands clenched at her sides in an effort to control the rage that seeped through her at the sight of him. Turns out, she was not over what had happened the day before.

“I know this is going to sound weird and out of nowhere but I’ll explain after you answer. Would you ever get any tattoos? Do you have any?” They had decided point blank asking was the best way to go. There was no telling how much patience he would have.

[ThatGuy]

Akio hadn’t slept. The act of trying to use anger to fight off the guilt he felt deep within had left him seething through the entire night. Much of the fire within him had died down, allowing him to be in the camp without causing a scene. He’d be hurt by the fact that the crew was avoiding him if it wasn’t for the accusatory look in their eyes. The giant gritted his teeth and simply went about his day like normal. The few times he needed to talk to the crew, they kept their answers short. They wouldn’t dare be disrespectful enough to ignore him, but they wanted to make it clear that they weren’t happy with him. It was irritating, but what could he do?

He had not expected Tsubaki, of all people, to approach him. Akio thought for sure that she’d avoid him for at least a week. For a brief moment, the guilt overpowered the rage, and the giant thought about apologizing. But the murderous glare coming from Shirai in the distance gave him what he needed to keep the anger within him stoked. It was obvious that Tsubaki was not there to apologize, he could read it in her body language. Despite the woman’s best efforts to not start another fight, the seemingly innocent question sent him over the edge.

“Are you seriously asking me about fucking tattoos right now?”

Out of all of the things he had expected to come out of her mouth, whether he had tattoos or not was not on the list. The absurdity of it pissed him off in a way he could not explain. He started to breathe deeply in an attempt to keep his anger restrained, but that did not stop him from talking.

“After everything that was said yesterday, you don’t come to apologize or to tell me what I said was terrible? No? You want to know about fucking tattoos? Do I look like I have tattoos? Do you see them? Do I seem like I have the time or patience to let some random asshole poke my skin over and over again with a needle all day?”

Part of him knew deep down how irrational he was being for blowing up over something so small, but he actually felt offended. Maybe it was because he wanted her to yell and be angry at him, or perhaps it was because of the split second of hope that they’d smooth things over that arose in his chest as she walked towards him. Either way, he felt like Tsubaki was playing some kind of prank. Like she was deliberately poking the bear to see if she could get a reaction. The very thought made him grind his teeth.

[Amy]

Tsubaki immediately bristled at the tone Akio spoke to her in. Clearly, she thought to herself as her brow lowered into a glare, he had forgotten what had happened the day before. He didn’t even look the smallest bit ashamed of what he had done the day before. He had falsely accused her with no proof, refused to even consider her side of things, and then he had hit her to top it all off. Tsubaki huffed a laugh at him, shaking her head.

“Oh? You want an apology, Akio?” She could practically feel Shirai begging her to walk away. “I’m sorry that you’re too pig headed to listen to me. Ever. About anything. Oh, wait, except when you need me to save you or one of the other crew, right? It’s no problem but only when you need me, right?”

She spun away from him but immediately spun again, ending up facing him. “Also, I don’t want an apology from you. You know what you said was terrible. You know what you did was worse. No empty apology will make either of us feel better about it. Don’t worry I won’t bother you anymore.”

This time, she didn’t turn back towards him, instead grabbing Shirai’s hand as she stalked past him, dragging him behind her. As soon as they were out of earshot, she groaned loudly.

“Ok, well, I feel like that’s all the confirmation I need.” She wasn’t walking anywhere specific. Just away. As far away as she could while still being near the camp. “You believe me, right?”

She asked the question suddenly, turning towards Shirai. Tears welled up in her eyes as she waved her arm in the direction they had come from. The direction of Akio. “Tell me what to do, Shirai. Just, tell me that you believe me. Tell me that there has to be a reason for this.”

No tears slid down her cheeks as she blinked rapidly. She couldn’t fall apart. Not here, not yet. Her mind raced, reaching for any option that she could think of. Anything that they could do. She needed a plan to give Shirai. Something for him to hold onto. Something that would distract him.

“Okay. I think for now we just have to keep an eye on him. See who interacts with him. The only reason to do this would be to manipulate him so I think we just bide our time.” She knew that she sounded panicked.

But that’s because she was.

“I can’t be around him anymore today though. Let’s just…take a few days. For us. And then we’ll deal with Akio. Okay?”

[ThatGuy]

Tsubaki's words hurt. Not because she had said anything malicious, but because he knew they were the truth. He held her gaze, but as the guilt took hold, he found it was not Tsubaki's eyes that were staring back at him. The dead eyes of Eri bore through his soul, and as the pain of the past threatened to take hold, he noticed the reflection of the men who took everything from him within them. The guilt within him was quickly engulfed by the flames of his rage. Luckily, Tsubaki had walked away before he could make things worse. In a way, the anger brought him peace. It was a way to avoid acknowledging just how much of a monster he’d become.

With a low growl, Akio turned and stomped off in the opposite direction of Tsubaki. He couldn’t remember what he was going to do. Regardless, he just needed to get away from people. The judgmental looks of the crew only served to push him closer to the edge. After everything he’d done for them, they had the gall to treat him like a threat? Like he hadn’t been sacrificing parts of himself to try and keep them all alive and well. Whatever it was that he had to do, it could wait. Walking out towards the woods, he set out to hunt for dinner. Whatever it took to get away from those damn glares in camp.

Shirai wished he had some magic words he could say to Tsubaki to make her feel better as she started to tear up. It just wasn’t fair. The universe had it out for her, and he was convinced of it. Not only did it seem to send every criminal and degenerate to ruin her day, but now it had insidiously interfered with her friendships. For the longest time, Akio had been like a father to her, but now that man was nowhere to be seen. He’d been changing ever since Tsubaki got kidnapped, and things only got worse upon him finding out that she and Shirai had gotten together. But even then, this was different.

“I believe you. Even if you’re wrong about the ‘fuuin’ thing, something is wrong. Normally, he’d be feeling guilty by now. Not quite enough to apologize yet, but he’d sure as hell not blow up again like that. Whatever is going on with him, I don’t think it has anything to do with you. It’s something else that’s setting him off, and he’s using you as a scapegoat.”

There wasn’t much else to say. He didn’t know what could possibly be going on. Right now, all they had to go off of was Tsubaki’s theory. It was the only thing that made sense. Shirai had known Akio for years and had a hard time believing that the giant could change so rapidly. Even Isobe was shocked to see the state Akio was in. So something had to be going on. When she mentioned keeping an eye on him, he offered her a smile.

“Don’t worry, cutie. We’ll find something to take our minds off of this for a bit, and when the time comes, I’ll keep an eye on him. I’ll take care of it, so you don’t have to be around him. We’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise.” Shirai squeezed Tsubaki's hand a little tighter, hoping to give her a little reassurance. ”I got some fruit stashed away back in the med tent. Whaddya say to an impromptu picnic?”

[Amy]

Tsubaki was more than happy to sneak away to the med tent and have an impromptu picnic with Shirai. She treasured every second that they got to spend alone together. It sounded silly if she talked about it because she and Shirai spent basically all day every day together. They met in the med tent in the morning to do a supply check and help anyone who had any non-emergency issues during the night. Then they went to breakfast together where they sat next to each other and ate. All afternoon was spent together, whether it was gathering herbs or training or if it was their turn to cook, preparing dinner. And it continued like that throughout the day. And then every day after that. But the thing was, they were almost always surrounded by other members of the crew.

Their time alone was always sparing and usually interrupted. It was rare for them to be able to carve out more than twenty or thirty minutes to themselves. After everyone except those on guard duty went to sleep was their best chance to see each other but with everything they had to do, they were usually too exhausted to stay up. They always had the best intentions of staying up to talk, to enjoy each other’s company, but it rarely worked out that way. Maybe it was the stress in the camp or the fear of Akio losing his temper, but everyone in the camp seemed to be acting more reserved.

Less ax throwing injuries, less fights breaking out, less…everything. It was like the camp was frozen in fear of doing something that would piss Akio off and force them to face his wrath next. It was uncomfortable and unpleasant to be around but Tsubaki just did her best to ignore it. All day, every day, all she could think about was how to fix things. When she was sitting next to Shirai at meals, when she was stitching up small wounds, when she was tending to the fire the thought spun around her head again and again.

What are you going to do, what are you going to do, what are you going to do?”

She just wanted a different option. She wanted a way to fix things that wouldn’t require her to blow up everything that she had come to love. But no matter how late into the night she stared at the roof of her ceiling she never came up with anything else. No matter what hoops she jumped through or what excuses she made it was always the same. It was always the same shitty, horrible, no good solution that made her feel sick to think about.

A couple of weeks after confronting Akio they finally received word on Masaru. It turned out, a lot of people who had been involved in the fight had made reports to the police. So many of them had been conflicting that the authorities had no choice but to forget about an execution. Masaru had explained that he confessed in order to take the heat off of Tsubaki, one of their healers, because it was making things hard for her. They had understood but in the end, they needed someone to make an example of. So he was assigned to one year of imprisonment and community service in the town. It had been made clear to the crew that while there was no actual suspicion on them, they had better be on their best behaviors. Another incident like that and they would be asked to leave, with or without Masaru depending on how much time he had left in his sentence.

Tsubaki was pissed about that but there was nothing for any of them to do. As far as the situation went, it was probably the best outcome. At the very least, it opened up the possibility of going back to the town without fear of being suddenly arrested. Which was exactly what Tsubaki wanted to do.

It was an hour or so before dawn and she and Shirai were laying in her tent. Both were half asleep, their bodies partially wound together. Her voice was quiet and drowsy, each syllable blurring into the next.

“Wanna go to town today? Need gauze. Sheets. Snacks.”

She yawned, rubbing the heel of her hand against her face. “Need cherries.”

[ThatGuy]

Like always, Tsubaki was up early, too early. When she started speaking about what they needed, he groaned in complaint. Pulling her closer to him, he buried his face between her shoulder and the pillow. He was going to siphon as much heat from her as possible before inevitably being forced to leave the warm bed.

“Need sleep. Need warmth.” When Tsubaki relented, he gave her a kiss and internally celebrated his victory. ”You’re the best.”

Despite his claims, Shirai wasn’t able to fall back asleep. He just didn’t want to get up yet. Under a cozy blanket and with her in his arms, he was more happy than words could possibly convey. So he just laid there with her for a while, taking in the moment. Some words were exchanged, mumbles about anything but Akio and the crew as they mentally prepared themselves to go about their day. After about half an hour, Shirai let out a heavy sigh.

”Need cherries.”

With that, he braved the freezing world that existed outside of the blanket and started to get ready. The general vibe of the camp was oppressive, but they were able to share these brief moments of bliss together every once in a while. Even as the storm of shitty circumstances raged on around them, their time alone was more shelter than he could ever ask for. He only hoped that Tsubaki felt the same way.

”And we’re off!”

It hadn’t taken them long to get ready. By dawn, they were already headed toward the town. Despite the overall fear of setting Akio off around the camp, there was one plus side. Akio hadn’t been obsessing over Tsubaki’s location anymore, so they didn’t need to jump through a bunch of hoops to go into town together. They were able to just go. Akio was always off finding ways to distract himself, and even if he did find out, what right did he have to get mad about it? He’d outright told her to leave. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he brought himself back to the present moment. As he walked down the road hand-in-hand with Tsubaki, he turned to her with a smile.

”Chores first, or fun first?”

[Amy]

Tsubaki stretched, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her skin. Every moment was one that she tried to enjoy as the thought nagged her in the back of her mind that she would only have so many more memories to make. Every time she looked at Shirai she was overcome with guilt. He said he would go with her and she knew that he meant it. If she told him right then and there that she couldn’t go back to the camp again she knew that he would be by her side. But he wouldn’t be able to go with her. She needed him to stay and watch over the crew. And even more than that, there was something in her that just knew she needed to do this mission on her own. Something that she needed to prove to herself. She sighed heavily, reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together. There would be plenty of time to be sad about what she had to do.

“Fun first, of course. Otherwise we’ll have to carry everything around all day!”

She would give him as many good memories as possible, she had decided in the past few weeks. She would give him so many good things to hold onto that when he was sad and missing her he would never be able to doubt how much she loved him. The time was nearing, she knew, when she would leave. There was no time chosen but she could feel it encroaching on her, a darkness that eased closer every day. Akio was only getting worse and who knew how long it would take someone to remove the seal?

“What’s going on?”

As they neared the main part of the town the streets were crowded and bustling with excitement. It was the middle of the week so Tsubaki had not been expecting this. There were small stands lining the street and both ends were roped off so that no carts or carriages could go through. Brightly colored decorations lined all the lamp posts and store awnings. Children ran amongst the crowd, squealing and laughing while the older kids helped their parents with the stands in front of their stores. Tsubaki exchanged a confused look with Shirai before walking up to an older woman who seemed slightly less busy than everyone else.

“Excuse me? We’re new around here, what’s going on today?”

“Ah, it’s our annual harvest celebration!”

Tsubaki looked over at Shirai, an even more confused look settling on their face. Before Tsubaki could ask, the old woman laughed and answered.

“It’s an old tradition, dears. This town used to be a lot smaller and the extra land was used to grow and harvest crops. As the town grew though we started doing more and more trading instead and the crop lands all got overturned for more buildings as people kept moving in. Who doesn’t love a good festival though?”

Tsubaki smiled and shook her head. She liked that. It was nice to keep something of the past around, she thought to herself. “Thank you for the information. It seems like everyone is still setting up, when does everything start?”

“Oh, usually around late afternoon most people will be ready!”

After thanking the woman again, she and Shirai began walking away from the busy street. “Well. Maybe we can do our chores first after all and hang around for the festival? I don’t think we’ve ever been to one together, have we?”

She hoped he said yes. It was a long time to spend out, but the crew knew where they were. They knew how to get their attention if someone needed them. It felt like fate that they had ended up in town on this day, the day of a festival for a way of living that was no longer needed anymore.

“Please~?” She asked, giving Shirai one of her brightest smiles.

[ThatGuy]

Shirai stroked his chin as he pretended to think the idea over. Obviously, he wanted to check out the festival too. What better way to take their minds off of the drama back at camp? Plus, any excuse for a date was a good one.

“Hmmm, I suppose. You owe me, though.”

With a smile and a wink, he set out with Tsubaki to take care of their chores. They'd been shopping in this town enough times to know exactly where they needed to go for everything. They both rushed to get everything they needed, eager to go to the festival. They came to the conclusion that, if they were quick about it, they could drop everything off at the camp and return just in time for the festival to start. Tsubaki wanted to stay in town for the time being so Shirai ran back to camp alone to drop everything off.

As he dropped their supplies off at the med tent, Shirai grabbed money from his secret stash. It wasn’t that he kept it secret from Tsubaki, she definitely knew about it, but he liked to give the illusion that he always had money to spare for dates. It was partially true, he did always have some money, but only because he was frugal when he did have to draw from it. The festival was a different case, however. He wanted to make the most of the night, which meant spending a bit more than he would normally be comfortable with. Anything for her, though. As Shirai left again, a couple of the crew members called out.

”Oi! Where ya off ‘ta?”

”Date night! Don’t wait up!”

It was a little selfish of him not to tell anyone about the festival, but he wanted to do everything possible to help Tsubaki take her mind off of things. So he left it at that as he waved goodbye to the crew. They didn’t need to worry about Akio, he was probably off yelling at trees for not stepping out of his way or whatever other ridiculous excuse he could find for lashing out in anger.

By the time he returned to town, the festival had barely started. It didn't take him long to find Tsubaki there waiting for him. He gave her a big smile, pleased that he had made good time. The streets were full of vendors with makeshift stalls and tents for various goods and services. There were two stages for performances. A main one in the center of the town, and a smaller one set up by the food stalls to entertain the festivalgoers while they eat. They were too early for any of the shows, however, so they had time to decide if they wanted to watch any of them. A loud grumble from Shirai’s stomach helped him decide the first order of business.

”Let’s go get something fried to eat to tide us over for the moment. I’ve barely eaten today in preparation for this. I didn’t even eat any cherries!”

[Amy]

Tsubaki gave Shirai a quick kiss and watched him run off for camp until she couldn’t see him any longer. She felt a little bad about making him carry everything back on his own but she had already known she needed time in the village alone while they were there. And it was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up, to know for absolutely certain he would not see what she was doing. It wouldn’t take him that long to get to the camp and back, not if he ran, which he probably would. So without wasting any more time, Tsubaki pulled herself away from the trailhead and headed towards the bakery, the easier visit she had to make. Luckily, the treats she bought were small enough to hide in her personal pack that she had kept on her so she didn’t have to worry about carrying around an additional bag after Shirai had just taken the time to run all the extra stuff back to camp.

Her next stop made her more nervous. The building was innocent looking enough and the fact that she had never been in one as a medic was probably weirder than anything else. But, it was probably her reason for going that was making her feel so uncomfortable. Luckily, Tsubaki had no issues there either, tucking away the small bag of powder in along with the treats. She made it back to wait for Shirai just a few minutes before he showed up. A wide smile sat on her face, not a hint of concern or worry in her eyes. She was determined that they were going to have a great day and a great night. No one was going to get in the way of that and if anyone tried, she was going to give them a piece of her mind.

Soon after he got back the festival seemed to be picking up, most of the stalls open for business. “In preparation? Shirai, we only just found out about it a few hours ago,” Tsubaki laughed, shaking her head. “But I get what you mean, I’m starving too. Let’s walk down the main street and let our noses guide us.” She linked her arm through his and led him back to the street where they had first found out about the festival. Unlike before when everyone was focused on what they were doing, barely paying them a passing glance, all of the stall owners were lively, calling out to the customers what they were serving and how much it cost. She and Shirai ooh’d and ah’d over several options before being drawn in by a stall selling friend pancakes filled with chopped meat. It was an easy choice considering how hungry they were.

Tsubaki took a bite well before it was cool enough to eat, blowing air that looked more like smoke out of her mouth as she tried to chew faster than the food could burn her. She kept her arm linked through Shirai’s, determined to stay as close to him as she could when they had no eyes on them for once. Well, no eyes save for the older people wandering around who kept looking at them and gushing about what sweet young love they had and how they should cherish it. After about the tenth time though, Tsubaki pulled Shirai off to the side, away from the lights of the festival that had been lit a few minutes ago as dusk started to settle over the village.

“If one more old lady tells us how cute we are I might throw up, and we haven’t even had dessert yet.” Despite her words, Tsubaki’s voice was lighthearted. It was rare for people to look at them and see sweet young lovers and not medics or bandits. Standing off to the side though, watching the festivities without being a part of them, Tsubaki could feel the bad feelings threatening to seep back in. Wondering if this is what her life could have been like if things had turned out differently. Just her and Shirai, enjoying life. No problems to solve. No one to save. No one except each other. But it was silly, she knew, to fantasize like that. Because she didn’t have that idyllic life and she probably never would. What she had was a great boyfriend and a family to save.

Pushing off of the wall she had pulled them against, she now pulled Shirai back onto the streets. “I saw some cute crafts over here, come look at them with me. I haven’t owned a piece of jewelry in years. Maybe you can help me pick something out.” The best night. No pouting, no worrying. She had promised herself and Shirai, even though he didn’t know it and she had every intention of following through on it.

[ThatGuy]

“Yeah, only I get to call you a cutie!”

Shirai scowled in an attempt to feign jealousy. It was honestly nice to have people appreciate their relationship for once. It wasn’t that those in the camp weren’t supportive, there were only a couple of people in the crew, including Akio, who weren’t happy about it. But even with the two having been together for this long, there was still the occasional teasing about forbidden love. That, combined with everyone being worried about Akio’s next blowup, meant their relationship was getting a lot of unwanted attention. So it was a nice change of pace to be in a town where no one knew them. He couldn’t blame those who wanted to point out how cute they were together, because they were. Not a day went by without him thinking about it.

When Tsubaki mentioned looking at some crafts, he happily joined her and got ready for the first big purchase of the night. Shirai wished he had enough to buy her something truly nice, she deserved it, but he knew she probably wouldn’t like anything too fancy. It just wasn’t her style. So he happily looked through the crafts. A few of the stalls contained simple cord bracelets with beads or some basic chain necklaces. It didn’t take them long to find some higher-quality work, however, as they came across a small set-up that the local jeweler had made for the festival. They both looked through the earrings, surprised at all the different designs. There was everything from basic hoops to intricate butterfly designs.

"Oh, hey, they have ‘couple stuff’ over there. Maybe I can look pretty too!”

Shirai walked over towards a small section of jewelry that consisted of matching pairs of necklaces and bracelets. Most of them contained one half of a design that would be completed if you put the two pieces together. Hearts were the most prevalent, but there were some yin-yang and other cliche designs. He picked up a pair of lockets and was slightly disappointed as he realized that they had never gotten a picture together. Neither of them even had a picture of the other. Shirai hoped they could fix that in the future, but ultimately shrugged it off. A picture wasn’t that important when you could spend time with the real thing every day. As he continued to browse, something caught his eye.

"Hey, doesn’t this remind you of the one at the lake?”

He held up a pair of necklaces with metal pendants shaped like an oak tree hanging from the chain. A warm smile grew across his face as the design brought back memories of their special place. His mind conjured a vision of the two sitting in the tree’s shade, eating cherries after a swim. Maybe one day they could go back. Shaking his head, he brought his mind back to the present moment and turned to Tsubaki.

“What do you think?”

[Amy]

She was really impressed with the quality of work that the people of the town were able to create. Not surprised, but definitely impressed. There were those who worked in clay, those who worked in metals, and those who worked in glass. Some of them were large and clunky and eye catching. Tsubaki liked those ones but they were never anything she would wear. She didn’t want to catch anyone’s attention and it would all get in the way of her work. But the more intricate designs were beautiful. Delicate. She felt like she could stare at them for hours and hours, just appreciating the beauty of the craft. Shirai is the one who pulled her out of her focus.

“That sounds like a good idea. We can be pretty together. But no hearts!”

Tsubaki had said that jokingly but was not prepared for how on the nose it would be. It made sense that a lot of the couple's stuff would be hearts but it all seemed a little repetitive to her. It wasn’t that it wasn’t cute and well made but it was…too obvious, for Tsubaki. There were a few other things that were equally as obvious and again, while beautiful, they didn’t mean anything to her. Or to Shirai, she imagined, as he didn’t point any specific ones out to her either. Until he did.

“Yes!” Tsubaki grabbed one of the necklace’s charms and cradled it in her palm. “It’s perfect.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as memories flooded through her. Of the first time they had visited the lake together. The two of them drifting on the surface, coming together for their first kiss. Falling asleep on the shores, a pile of cherry pits between them. It was everything to her. Everything that she had hated to leave behind. Everything that she still thought of every day.

“It’s like they were made for us.” Tsubaki smiled and held both of the necklaces while Shirai paid for them. She would have insisted but she knew him well enough to know that she wasn’t going to win that argument. If he got low on money she would cover him. It was just how they worked, always having each other’s back. Her jaw twitched, just slightly, as she motioned for Shirai to turn around so she could clasp the necklace around his neck. Then, she turned and let him do the same for her.

She didn’t know what else to say. No words could possibly express how happy she was, looking between the two matching necklaces. So she didn’t try to say anything at all and instead reached out and grabbed both of Shirai’s hands. Her eyes drifted over his face, memorizing every inch of his face. Until she felt like she would never forget the way he looked in this moment.

Swallowing heavily, she let go of one of his hands and started to lead him away from the arts and crafts section. Night had fallen truly now and the hung lanterns glowed peacefully along the road. For a while, they just walked in silence, enjoying each other’s company. But suddenly, Tsubaki noticed a strange booth off to the corner. It was covered in luxurious looking fabrics and she couldn’t see a sign anywhere.

“Shirai? What do you think that is?”

[ThatGuy]

Shirai’s heart swelled with pride at Tsubaki’s reaction to the necklaces. After happily running off to pay for them, he returned with a large grin on his face. He kept that smile as they put the necklaces on each other, only stopping when she grabbed his hands and stared at him. By that point, he was too stunned to keep the smile on his face. He’d been with Tsubaki for years now, and yet, that loving look in her eyes was still enough to stop him in his tracks. Shirai did his best to match Tsubaki’s intensity as they stared at each other.

By the time she finally let go of one of his hands and started leading him down the street, his face was already a few shades more red. They walked together in silence, simply taking in the moment. Sometimes all they needed was some time together away from the camp. There was no need to enter every stall and tent in the festival in an attempt to make the most of it because they had each other. One eventually caught Tsubaki’s eye, however. The booth didn’t seem to have a sign, but it was clearly set up for the festival.

“Not sure. Only one way to find out!”

Shirai made his way over, and inside he found an elderly woman waiting for potential customers. She didn’t seem to react to his presence, and it was only when Shirai got close that he noticed her eyes were cloudy. The woman was likely barely able to see in front of her.

“Excuse me, ma’am. We didn’t see a sign and were wondering what you were selling.”

“Your future, for a small price.”

Shirai had to contain a chuckle as she spoke. Fortune telling was one of the oldest cons in the book. But it was harmless as long as you knew the trick. It was only a problem when they got you to return for repeat visits and try to sell you some sort of charm or potion. So, with a small smile on his face, he decided to give it a shot.

“Why not?”

He turned to Tsubaki and gave her a wink. It was unlikely that she bought any of it either, but it could be some harmless entertainment if they wanted it to be. So he pulled out some ryo and left it for the elderly woman, who promptly gestured for him to hold his hands out. Shirai complied, turning his palms upwards as he fully expected her to try and read them. To his surprise, she grabbed his hands and brought them together before holding his fingers, akin to a gentleman who was about to kiss a fine lady’s hand. Her cloudy eyes drifted upwards as she took in a deep breath through her nose. There was a moment of silence before she finally spoke.

“Abandonment. Loneliness... So much loneliness. Blood on your hands.”

Shirai’s face contorted into a look of confusion as the woman spoke. It wasn’t too uncommon for a fortune teller to try and tap into someone’s fear in order to keep them coming back. But that was rather dramatic. Not to mention a pretty apt description of his past. Shirai was not going to fall for it, however, and knew that it was the whole point of using such vague language. It was all too easy for a person to go through a breakup and claim that the fortune teller saw it coming with broad words such as ‘abandonment’ and ‘loneliness’. Leaning over to Tsubaki, he whispered to her so that only she could hear.

“I think she’s doing the whole future thing backwards.”

With a smile, he turned back to the elderly woman and let her continue. If she heard his words, she did not react in the slightest.

“I see family, not of blood but by choice. Union. A marriage. The end of one story and the beginning of another.”

She let go of his hands, and Shirai couldn’t help but give a look that said, ‘Is that it?’ to both Tsubaki and the woman. Sure, it was cheap, but did he really have to pay for that? The elderly woman smiled, seemingly able to read the expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m only able to get glimpses, and even then, these eyes aren’t what they used to be.”

The woman turned towards Tsubaki and gestured for her to hold out her hands. Shirai sat by and tried not to put too much stock into the line about marriage. It was common practice for a fortune teller to tell a couple that there would be a marriage or a breakup. But still, he couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

[Amy]

She couldn’t explain why, but Tsubaki did not have a good feeling about the booth she had seen. The booth that Shirai now led her closer towards. At first glance the only thing that was different about it was that it was set outside of the glow of the hanging lanterns so the moon was casting it in deep shadows. But the longer Tsubaki looked the bigger her feeling of unease grew. The fabrics that had looked luxurious at first glance now looked ragged up close. The edges were frayed and weather worn spots made the fabric nearly see through in some spots. Like they had been in use for a very, very long time. It only got worse when they stepped inside. The air was dense, oppressive, and stale. As though the fresh, blowing breeze outside couldn’t make its way in. Tsubaki held Shirai’s hand just a little bit tighter as the nearly blind woman spoke.

Luckily, Shirai went first. It was probably all on purpose anyways, she told herself as he slipped his hand from hers so he could present them to the woman. Never once did she take her eyes off of their hands though, just in case the woman was going to try something. It seemed unlikely but Tsubaki had been tricked before and wasn’t planning on ever letting it happen again. The woman began speaking and it all seemed incredibly harmless. Her words were only specific when you applied them to the first memories or thoughts that surfaced. She could have said those exact words to Tsubaki and they would have meant just as much to her as they did to Shirai. It seemed that they were on the same page as Shirai leaned over and whispered to her.

A small smile still on her face, Tsubaki breathed a little bit easier. As long as neither of them were taking it too seriously, it should be okay. Slowly, though, the smile on her face faded, a blush flaring across the apples of her cheeks. Before Shirai turned to look at her, she had mastered her expression but there was still a hint of shock and embarrassment hidden in her gaze. Marriage? It wasn’t that she had never thought about what it would be like to get married to Shirai but they were still so young. It had only been a dream so far and no one had ever said anything about it aloud. Not until this random fortune teller at least. Shaking her head, Tsubaki stepped over in front of the woman, holding her hands out. The old woman’s hands were freezing, despite having just been holding onto Shirai. The woman was silent for so long that Tsubaki glanced over at Shirai.

”Pain, sorrow, and fear.” The woman’s voice was practically emotionless as she spoke. Tsubaki tried to gently pry her hands out of her grasp but the woman held tightly. ”You are faced with many choices that you are not ready to make. Each one will uncover a new direction for your future. Choose poorly, and your future will be short.” Tsubaki didn’t realize she was panting as she snatched her hands out of the woman’s hands. She glared at the woman for a moment, wanting to say something. Anything. To tell her how horrible it was to say something like that to someone. But for some reason, she couldn't. Not when she saw the truly sad look the woman had on her face.

“This is stupid.” Tsubaki turned and grabbed Shirai’s hand, dragging him from the tent. She felt like she could barely see beyond the anger that clouded her vision. Was that supposed to be some sort of tactic to get them to pay for more services? Give one person a generic, happy enough fortune and give the other something awful? Make them pay to learn how to ‘direct’ their future? It was disgusting. And she wasn’t going to fall for it. Sighing heavily, she forced herself to laugh, ruefully shaking her head at Shirai. “What a crappy trick to play on people. Let’s stick with your fortune instead of mine, eh?”

Tsubaki pulled Shirai closer to her so that she could rest her head against him as they strolled. It seemed that the town had a small fireworks show they were going to set off so she pulled them into the throng of people heading to the viewing area. She kept her eyes up, gazing at the bright lanterns and the way they doused Shirai’s face in shadows. Thinking back to the first day she had met him. A round faced, long-haired kid who didn’t know when to shut up. Who poked and prodded relentlessly. And now, while there were still parts of that boy in him, Shirai wasn’t the same. He had learned and grown and become a man that she was proud of. Proud to love, proud to be with, proud to call her own. Tsubaki blinked away the tears forming in her eyes rapidly, ignoring the tightening of her chest. They still had some time, but it wasn’t going to be enough. It was never going to be enough.

“Have you ever seen a fireworks show? We had them for some of the festivals when I was a kid.” She had even been to a few of them. Many, she had had to listen to them go off while she trained or studied. Listen to her teammates talk about it the next day. But the few times she had been allowed to go, she had been mesmerized. “We should probably head back afterwards though. We’ve been gone long enough, who knows when the kids will start to get into trouble again.”

[ThatGuy]

Shirai let out an audible sigh as the elderly woman gave Tsubaki her fortune. There it was. The inevitable hook in an attempt to get them as return customers. But more annoyingly, she had upset Tsubaki. So much for harmless entertainment. After she pulled him out of the tent and joked about sticking to his fortune, he shook his head and laughed.

“Fortunes are bullshit. No one knows what the future has in store. That was such nonsense advice. Sure, the future is what you make of it, but everyone is constantly making choices like that. If you choose to kick a sleeping bear, then yeah. Your future will be short.”

His heart swelled as Tsubaki leaned her head against him. It made him feel like he was so much more than he was. Shirai didn’t quite have the words for what he felt with her so close to him. Simply put, he felt better. As much as he’d have liked to have looked back at her, one of them needed to keep their eyes on the road. There were too many people on the street, and he knew they’d both be sent tumbling over if they did not pay attention. When she asked him if he’d seen a fireworks show before, he remembered back to the days with his parents.

“Once. When I turned ten, my parents wanted to throw a huge party for me. I told them I didn’t want a lot of people at my party. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, so I knew it’d just be full of people who wanted to kiss my father’s ass. So we celebrated as a family. Including Matsuru, my father's servant. The four of us had a big meal under the stars while he arranged for a small fireworks show.” Shirai smiled at the memory, chuckling as he realized just how privileged he was. “Perks of being a spoiled rich kid. Speaking of spoiled kids, though, you’re right, we should head back after this.”

He held her close as they both watched the colorful explosions in the sky. To his surprise, his mind had found peace in that moment. There was a brief moment where he felt completely content. Shirai always felt content to some degree with Tsubaki, but there was always the crew, their job, or something else to worry about in the back of his mind. Even now, when he would normally be worried about going back, he couldn’t care less. As the fireworks started to slow down and things eventually came to an end, he leaned in and kissed Tsubaki.

“I hope you had as much fun as I did.”

His voice was quiet, just loud enough for her to hear as he held her against him. After a few moments of embrace, he sighed, and they both started to walk back towards camp. It was a great night, better than he could have imagined. The only thing that went wrong was the stupid fortune teller, but that wasn’t enough to ruin the night. With one arm around her, he held the two charms in front of them in the palm of his other hand. It was a good reminder that all good things have to come to an end eventually. But it didn’t have to be the end. As they neared camp, he spoke once more.

“I love you, Cutie. I don’t say it nearly enough.”

[Amy]

It brought a smile to her face to listen to Shirai talk about one of the good memories he had from his childhood. He had been struggling a lot with the haunts of his past so it was nice to hear that he had happy things he could look back on as well. Before she could reply though, the first canister whistled through the air, arching up into the sky and exploding in a burst of color. Rather than talk, Tsubaki just kept her head against Shirai’s shoulder and watched the show in front of them, thinking about how lucky she had been to find Shirai. It may have been the only bit of good luck she had ever found in life but if it was all she ever got, she would be grateful for it. She would have waited her entire life for him. Her stomach clenched uncomfortably when she hoped that he would wait for her too. Before she could wallow too much though, Shirai turned and kissed her. A smile turned up the corners of her mouth as she kissed him back, committing every sensation to memory.

“I had a blast. Who knew such an uneventful trip to town could be so much fun?” She laughed as they pulled away from each other, though she stayed pressed up against him, his arm holding her against his side. His words settled deep inside of her, both warming her and causing a chill to wash over her. Her eyes darkened slightly and she was grateful that he wouldn’t be able to see it in the darkness that was only cut by the moonlight. She nuzzled against her shoulder, not answering until she was sure that her voice was perfectly controlled. “I love you too, Shirai. More than I have ever loved anyone else.” There was conviction in her words, a promise. But not even Tsubaki knew what she was promising.

They stayed silent until they were almost back at camp. By then, Tsubaki had lifted her head from Shirai’s shoulder and they strolled hand in hand. She had spent most of the walk thinking about what they should do when they got back as she had no plans to end the night with him so early. Everything had been going so well she really wanted to take advantage of that. So when they crossed back into the camp, waving at the men who were on guard around the fire, she pushed Shirai gently towards the med tent. “I have a surprise for you,” she said with a wicked grin, her eyes sparkling in the light of the fire. “You go make sure no one is dying in the med tent, wait at least ten minutes, and then come to my tent.” Before he could ask any questions or stop her, Tsubaki dashed towards her tent that was set up around the outer circle of the camp. Everyone could see her tent but it was set far enough away to avoid her some privacy in a camp where she was the only woman.

As soon as she was in the tent she dug out the cherry pies that she had purchased at the bakery and prepared them, setting one near her and one near where Shirai always sat, the bottle from the apothecary hidden once again in her bag. Once that was done she dug around in the small pile of belongings she had, desperately searching for something she purchased a long time ago. Just the memory brought a healthy blush to her cheeks that didn’t disappear until she was changed, sitting on the edge of her cot with Shirai’s old medic for hire t-shirt on. Hiding what she wore underneath. She took several slow, deep breaths in preparation for Shirai getting there. She coached herself, maintaining a bright happy look in her eyes so that when Shirai entered her tent she could offer him a wide grin. Her arms stretched out, motioning at the two pies.

“Surprise! We never found any cherries but I did find some cherry pies while you ran back to the camp. I couldn’t think of a better way to end the night.” Tsubaki’s blush returned in full force when she remembered what she was wearing under the shirt. “Well,” she mumbled, pushing her hair behind her ear. “Aren't you gonna sit down? You can tell me more about what a spoiled child you were.”

[ThatGuy]

Shirai’s eyebrows raised as Tsubaki mentioned a surprise. There was only one place his mind went, and it was far less wholesome than watching fireworks together. As she dashed off to her tent, he turned around and did the same towards the med tent. Shirai let out a groan as he saw someone inside.

“Shunta I swear, if this is anything more than a boo-boo, I'm letting you bleed out.”

"Oh, nah, just cut m'hand open on accident while doin’ a bit o’ whittling.”

Shirai wasted no time in grabbing his supplies and getting to work. The job was rushed but by no means sloppy. Cleaning the wound did not take long, and he'd always excelled at stitching quickly. In just a couple of minutes, he'd completely closed the wound.

“Just take it easy with that hand, the stitches aren't perfect. You'll inevitably tear them at some point, but please wait until tomorrow to do that, okay? Oh, and if you notice anyone doing anything that might end up with them getting injured,tell them I'm out for the night, so they better be ready to heal their own wounds.”

“Sleepover eh?”

“Yes, so please help me out here. Things have been rough on Tsubaki, and I want to make sure the rest of her night goes well. The last thing she needs is date night to end with Kai lighting himself on fire again.”

Shunta laughed and went to grab Shirai's forearm before realizing that he'd reached out with his injured hand. It took every bit of restraint Shirai could muster to not sigh loudly. With a pat on the back, he sent Shunta out of the med tent and made his way towards Tsubaki. Excited to see what Tsubaki had in store for him, he opened the tent and was definitely surprised. He was not expecting pie. Noticing that she was blushing and somewhat nervous, he decided to try and make her laugh.

"Well, that’s definitely more clothes than I was expecting, but still hot. I wonder if that works the other way.” He grabbed one of Tsubaki’s shirts and quickly put it on before striking a pose. “Is this doing anything for ya?”

With a chuckle, he sat down and wasted no time taking a bite of the pie. It was delicious. He gave Tsubaki a big smile and nodded his head as he finished chewing. He had the perfect girlfriend. It wasn’t even a competition. Thinking for a quick moment about another story from his childhood, he found one that fit the occasion.

“We used to have a couple of cherry trees. My mom used to take me to go harvest them. I loved it so much that I’d check the tree every day to see if something was growing. She’d take me out once a week to go harvesting until I got a bit older. It was only after spending some time picking cherries with you that I realized that cherries didn’t grow that fast or often. I don’t know how, but I think she was buying them and having Matsuru somehow put them up in the tree.”

He smiled at the memory before turning to Tsubaki and looking deeply into her eyes. If it were even just a year ago, Shirai would never have shared these memories. It was just too painful to think about the family he had lost. The past still hurt him to think about, but that pain was overwhelmed by the love he felt for the woman in front of him. Whatever light he had lost in the past was repaid tenfold when he met her. As much as he wanted to simply get lost in her eyes, he couldn’t let the pie go unfinished, so he reached over and took another bite.

[Amy]

“If you ruin my shirt I’ll never forgive you,” Tsubaki said through her laughter. Leave it to Shirai to remind exactly how much of the boy he used to be remained inside of him. To remind her of how much she loved that fact and how she would always cherish it. She sent a prayer out into the universe that nothing would ever take that from him. Tsubaki picked up her own small pie and settled back against her cot, her legs extended out and crossed at the ankles. She listened carefully to every word that Shirai said, memorizing the sound of his voice, the way it softened when he talked about his mom. The thread of amusement that ran through it when he admitted that they were probably tricking him. She memorized the way his hair drifted across his forehead when he tilted it back and forth, the way the corners of his mouth pulled up into his trademark grin.

“That’s sweet though, that they would go through that effort for you. I don’t think that makes you a spoiled, rich kid though.” Tsubaki took another bite of pie, waving her fork at Shirai. “I think that just makes you loved.” She was glad that he had experienced good things in his childhood. A familiar anxiety crept along her spine when she realized that no happy memories of her own surfaced immediately, not from her childhood. It hadn’t all been bad, not by a long shot. Her parents hadn’t been rich but they had been well off as both were still active Shinobi when Tsubaki was a child. But because of that, most of her memories were of either being alone, being in school, or training. There were worse memories, but she didn’t think about those ones at all. She knew she had had happy moments but it seemed impossible to find them amongst the sea of unhappy ones. But she wanted Shirai to have something to hold onto as well. So she thought, and she thought, until she found a memory tucked into the corner of her mind.

"When I was really little, before the academy, so probably four or five there was an old woman who used to stay with me when my parents were away. She took me to her house a lot because she had a husband who had an old injury so he needed help with a lot of stuff so she couldn’t stay away for very long.” Tsubaki settled back further against the cot, rolling her eyes as she continued. “On their coffee table, she had this bowl of the most colorful candy I had ever seen. Every color you can imagine. They were square and covered in a thin coat of sugar. And I wanted to eat them more than anything. But every time I went over she would wag her finger at me and tell me not to eat any. And since I’m so good at doing what I’m told, I never touched them.” Tsubaki laughed at herself. She definitely wasn’t that agreeable anymore.

“But then one day, we were sitting on the couch reading and she saw me staring at them and she asked me if I didn’t like candy. I told her that I did and she asked why I never ate any of them. And I gave her the most confused look and told her that she always told me not to! And, Shirai, you should have seen how hard she laughed.” Tsubaki shook her head, still laughing. “Turns out, she had been winking at me every time she said that but I didn’t know what that meant. She had set the bowl of candies out for me, specifically, every single time she brought me over. And she was absolutely heartbroken that I never ate any. So I pulled the bowl onto my lap and I ate every single one. They were so soft and sweet. And about ten minutes after I ate the very last one, I threw them all up.”

Tsubaki’s eyes were bright with the memory that she had almost forgotten about as she smiled across the tent at Shirai. She was pretty sure this was the first thing she had ever told him about her childhood. “I haven’t thought about that in a long time.”

[ThatGuy]

“If you wanted me shirtless, you could have just said so.”

Shirai gave her a devilish grin before taking off his (her) shirt and carelessly tossing it back in the direction he had found it. When she mentioned that he was simply loved growing up, his heart swelled. His parents had given him more love than a child could ask for. It wasn’t smothering, either. Very few had the privilege of growing up in such a perfect environment for growth. It only made the loss that much more painful.

He was surprised when she started telling him a story from her childhood. She very rarely ever spoke about her past, and the few times that she did, she provided minimal detail. This was the most he’d ever heard her say on the matter. Not once did he ever push the matter. She could tell him when she was ready, and if she was never ready, then he was perfectly fine with that. So to have her open up to him elicited an emotion that he could not identify. It was a strange combination of pride and... Guilt? Regardless, he was elated to see the bright look in her eyes as she spoke of it.

“Wow, Cutie. I had no idea that you had such a sweet tooth. Good to know.”

After a slight chuckle, he scarfed down the last of his pie and waited for Tsubaki to finish hers. He looked her up and down before giving her a suggestive look. The intensity in their eyes matched as Shirai crawled over to her, grabbing her legs and gently pulling her closer to him. Hovering over her, he lovingly stared into her eyes for a moment before giving her a deep and passionate kiss. Taking a moment to breathe, he pulled away from the kiss and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“I don’t have any candy, but I hope this is sweet enough for you.”

[Amy]

Tsubaki slowly finished off her dessert, her eyes hardly leaving Shirai for more than a second. She recognized the look in his eyes, the sight still bringing a heat to her cheeks every time she saw it. They had been together for a while now, doing that she thought to herself as she set the tin down, but it still made her feel shy. With everything she had never been through, she had never dreamed or fantasized about having something like this to call her own. Someone, to call her own. And despite the heat that speckled her cheeks there was nothing but a grin on her face when Shirai pulled her closer to him. She sighed into his touch, into his lips, forgetting about everything that wasn’t him. Everything that wasn’t them. She wouldn’t let anything else into her mind to spoil the moment.

“Right back at you,” she whispered up at him, her hands curling around the hem of her shirt, wriggling to pull it out from under her and over her head. Her face only grew hotter as Shirai stared down at her, dumbfounded. She had bought the lingerie so long ago, during a strange trip to town with Akio. She had just been trying to buy Shirai his new coat but the nosy ladies who had helped her had picked out some things for her and sent her with them. He had seen the rest of it, it was all just pretty normal underwear. Except for this. She had never been able to even look at it without blushing and had never even dared to put it on before now. But seeing the way his eyes widened and then darkened slightly as they trailed down her, it was definitely worth it.

“I take it this is more what kind of surpr-” She didn’t get the chance to finish speaking as Shirai pressed his mouth against hers again. And despite her best efforts, Tsubaki couldn’t ignore the feeling of something inside her chest cracking.

Later

Tsubaki sat cross legged on her cot, Shirai’s head resting in her lap. Her eyes lingered on his face as she dragged her hands through his hair. Her jaw twitched with the effort to keep from crying. He had fallen asleep a little while ago and she could tell by the way his breathing deepened that the drugs had finally taken effect and he wouldn’t be waking up until morning. Her stomach churned, the thought of what she had done making her sick. There was no other option though and she didn’t think of that as an excuse. For weeks, she had thought of every possible option. But nothing other than this was viable. She had gone back and forth for so long, about whether or not to tell Shirai that she was leaving but she knew that he would never let her go alone. At best, he would tell her she could go alone and then follow her until it was too late to send him back.

But she needed him here, in the camp. She needed him there to do what she couldn’t while she was gone. Protect everyone. Protect Akio, the best he could, while Akio wasn’t himself.

Taking a deep breath, Tsubaki eased herself off of the cot and changed back into her normal clothes. Packing was quick and easy as she wasn’t taking any of the crew’s supplies with her. She would purchase a small tent and a few supplies in the next town she got to. Setting the bag by the front of the tent, Tsubaki knew that she had one more thing to do. Sitting on the ground, next to the cot, next to Shirai, she pulled out a piece of paper and she began writing. And despite her best efforts, she could feel the tears unwittingly forming in her eyes. Saw them hit the paper below her, the words blurring. The backs of her hands swiped against her cheeks as she clenched her jaw harder. Her hands shook as she folded the piece of paper and slipped it under the pillow so that Shirai would see it as soon as he woke up.

There was no stopping the tears now, not as she knelt next to him, her hand drifting over his face. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice constricted with sorrow. “I’m so, so sorry.” As a sob tried to work its way through her chest she knew that she had to go. She had to leave before she lost her nerve as she had only decided earlier that today was the day. He meant too much to her and she knew that the longer she stayed the harder it was going to be to leave him. So it had to be now. Her lips pressed against his forehead, three more words whispered against his skin. So softly, so gently that she prayed he heard them even in his slumber. Three more words before she slipped out of the tent and ran into an unknown destiny. Three more words that were nothing, everything, and a promise.

“I love you.”

The LetterShow

Shirai,

I hope you understand. I’ve thought and I’ve thought and this is it, what I came up with. And it’s really awful and I never wanted to do this to you and I hope you believe me. Please, believe me. The only way to help Akio is to find someone more knowledgeable than me but he’s never going to let me leave and go as I please. And no one is going to come to this small town who can help. So I’m going to go find someone and bring them back here. I’ll make them, if I have to.

I know you would have come with me. I know you wouldn’t want me to go alone. But you can’t. Because you have to stay and keep all the kids safe. You have to keep Akio safe, the best you can. I know you can do it. You’re a great medic, you always have been. But I also know that you would never have let me go alone so it has to be this way. I have to leave like this. Even if it kills me. Even if it makes me horrible. Even if you never forgive me.

I’m so sorry, Shirai. This isn’t goodbye. I will find someone who can help. I will find my way back to you. Never, did I think that I would find someone like you so don’t think I’m going to give you up so easily. I know this is a poor explanation. And I know it’s going to hurt you and I wish there had been another way. I would have cut my own hand off if it would give me another way. But this is all I have. I have to try once more. If this doesn’t work, then the two of us will leave. I promise.

As I travel, I’ll leave letters in each town with the doctor or hospital there. If there isn’t one, I’ll leave it with whoever is in charge of the town. If you do the same…we’ll find each other. I believe we will. I have to believe we will.

I’m so sorry. I could write it a thousand times and it wouldn’t be enough. I’ll do whatever I have to to make this up to you. When I find you again, if you could just give me a chance. Just let me try to explain. I love you so much. More than anything. I will find you. I’m sorry. There's so much that I could say here but if I keep writing I'll never make it out of here. And I have to go. I owe Akio one more try. One more try, for being the reason I have you.

I love you forever, no matter what
-Tsubaki

[ThatGuy]

Shirai had drifted off into a deep and dreamless sleep. In his eyes, he had simply closed them for a second before the light of the sun against the tent was forcing him awake. He was covered in sweat and felt far more groggy than he should have. Normally, Tsubaki would have woken him up by now. Turning over to Tsubaki’s side of the bed, he got ready to make a joke, asking if she was just that worn out from the night before. To his surprise, the tent was empty. Maybe she was just letting him get his beauty sleep. Sitting up with a groan, he heard an odd crinkle from the pillow he was using. Noticing a piece of paper laying under it, he grabbed it and tried to focus his blurry vision to read the contents.

The words contained within shook him to his very core. His grogginess was replaced with an overwhelming state of panic as he read the words over and over again. Shirai had to believe that he was reading it wrong or that it was all one big terrible prank. Maybe if he was fast enough, he could catch her. Not bothering to put anything on besides his boxers, he sprinted out of the tent and started yelling.

“TSUBAKI!”

He dashed throughout the camp, eliciting strange looks from the crew. A few got up in a panic, expecting that something terrible had happened to her again. Moving faster than he had ever moved before, Shirai ran from one side of the camp to the other, dodging the members of the crew that tried to stop him.

“TSUBAKI?”

It was Isobe who finally got a hold of him with a firm grip, turning him around to face the older man. The man kept a tight grip on Shirai’s shoulders, and he waited for him to stop hyperventilating.

“What happened t’ Tsubaki?”

“DID ANYONE SEE HER LEAVE?” Shirai looked desperately back and forth at the crew as they gathered, hoping at least one of them had seen. “FUCKING ANSWER ME!”

They all shook their heads with a sorrowful look in their eyes. Shirai dropped to his knees and burst into tears as he held the letter close to his chest. It couldn’t be true. It had to be some kind of horrible nightmare. Everyone simply stood around as Shirai cried, not sure of what to do but still concerned about what had happened to Tsubaki. With tears streaming down his face, Shirai looked up at Isobe.

“She left. She’s gone.”

Isobe’s look of concern morphed into one of pain as the words hit him.

“I’m so sorry, kid.”

Shirai didn’t answer, he curled further into a ball as he fought the realization that was threatening to overwhelm his being. He was alone again. In an instant, the happiness that he had worked so hard to allow himself to feel was snatched away, leaving room for the pain to only grow. She said she’d be back, it was the only thing she gave him to hold on to. Struggling to breathe in between his sobs, he held up the oak tree charm that still hung from his neck. As tears hit the metal, his pain reached a breaking point. Without her, he had nothing. He might have been surrounded by ‘family', but he was alone. So very alone.