[PB Start][Lonely] Sorrow and Shame

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Taiga
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[PB Start][Lonely] Sorrow and Shame

Post by Taiga » Tue Sep 18, 2018 4:58 pm

The dead shifted through the sands, bits and pieces of them falling with every step. They came closer and closer... Sega was out of ammunition and his launchers were jammed. He ran but with heavy steps his feet just sank into the sand, making it nearly impossible to spring himself into a full stride. Sega couldn't breathe. He was stumbling backwards his body and mind failing him. He fell into the sands as his hands frantically dug at it behind him, trying to pull himself away from the incoming horrors. Sweat was rolling down his body as he looked up. There were so many dead... so many...  and each of the dead- he knew. From the civilian who died on his watch to the sensei who sacrificed his life to protect the boy... so many had died because of him. And here they were. His jaw began to quiver as hot streams of tears came out of his eyes. He screamed. He screamed and screamed.

"I'm sorry." But that really was not enough- not even in the slightest.

You could never save them- not any of them. And even with all that uselessness you got to live, and we had to die! The voices continued. Sega let ago of the sand and brought his knees to his head, his hands ripping at his hair. The zombies became closer- more and more. Each and every step. His eyes locked onto the leader. A tall man... His lip quivered more. It was Rin-sensei. The man smiled and for a moment, Sega felt at peace. He felt safe. Rin came closer- his arms open.  He was normal. "It's okay, Yuusuke." The Sunagakure shinobi stood to his knees- the tears had stopped but the streams of hot liquid continued to roll down his face. His rand reached out for Rins.

"It's okay- we've come to make you pay for your sins!" the man said as blood began to poor out of his body and his wounds ripped open, then his body rapidly rotted. Sega howled as his arms blew out a mighty gust of wind sending the zombie backwards. More came for him. He back pedaled. Sega, where were you for me? A voice cried out. Sega trembled as he turned to find Inka. His body was wasted and his insides torn open- nearly inside out from where Sega could only imagine the Soul Genma had crawled out. I saved you Sega. I didn't let you die but where were you when I need a friend? I needed someone to save my soul? You were useless then, you are useless now. You were unworthy of the Soul Genma's rebirth... Sega raised his arms to fire. His blasts hit the boy square, blast after blast rattling away at him. This wasn't Inka. This wasn't the boy he had known.

And he wasn't a boy anymore. Time had passed in great quantities, even if the wounds still felt fresh. He bit his lip and hardened himself as he channeled chakra into his arms, the arms reloading with ammunition as he prepared to fire into the crowds. He was not going to give up. He had to live because so many had died because of his poor decision making- his lack of strength. He had to atone. The fire had raged up in him and the shinobi began to move from attacker to attacker, destroying each one.

Even though he had begun to fight back the tears had begun to come once more. Hot steaming tears rolled down his cheeks making it hard to see... but it was better. Better to not see every innocent person that died because of him. The guards, villagers.... the market place people... when the bandits attacked. Finally, when he had made his way to the end there was but one more figure. Sega raised his hands completely prepared to finish things... and then... The voice spoke.

"Sega, how are the arms we made!" It was the voice of a young boy. It sparkled in joy and hope. It was so very different from the voices of Sega and Inka- or even Rin. It was naive. It was innocent. The shadow faded and standing there was A-kun.  Sega bit his lip. The tears became too strong to hold back. The boy came closer. Though Sega was now 22 and a grown man, Rin was still the 13 year old boy he had once met.

Sega crumbled to his knees.

I'm so- -so-s-sorry... He began to sob.

A-kun went from naive and innocent to bursting in an explosion of electricity, becoming the Genma of creation itself before exploding once more in a burst of light. Sega fell back. When he could see, the corpse of A-kun... The damn corpse of a child was coming towards him, step after step, arms out. Sega couldn't move. Suddenly from the sand beneath him hands began to rocket up, each one grabbing him- and finally A-kun too. The hands were pulling him down into the sand. He screamed and screamed till finally, the sand swallowed him whole and there was no more.
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Sega sprung up from his bed, panting. He was soaking wet in sweat. His soggy hair draped down his face covering his eyes as he clutched his knees, rocking back and forth till his panic attack subsided and he was able to breathe once more. Falling onto his back he stared up to the ceiling. The nightmares were becoming stronger. More real... his physical condition closer to that of himself in the dream each time. Was this the price for the revival of his soul? Was hell calling him back? Was it his guilt? When A-kun and Inka needed him most he was gone. Akio and Inka died. They died while he got to live- a second time. He swallowed his spit in a massive gulp and rolled onto his side. Why... had things gone this way. Everyone who he had ever become close to died, usually because of him, and yet even in death he could not just die... After further contemplation the shinobi pulled himself up then jumped down from his loft, his one human foot touching the could sandstone floors as the hairs on his back shot up from it's cold.

He made his way to the sink, splashing water on his face as he stared into the mirror.

Why did he get to live?

After washing his face he put on a shirt and exited his apartment, wandering into the sand-filled, cold air pelting his body on the dark streets of Sunagakure. He began to make his way towards a 24/7 pantry. There he could hopefully find relief, if only temporary, in the form of a bottle. A bottle of cheap whisky- the cheapest. As soon as he exited the shop the bottle hit his lips and he was soaking it in as he walked towards the cliff. Drinking and the sunrise gave him enough clarity to make to the next day usually.
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When Sega awoke again his body was burning beneath the sun. He had passed out on the cliff- and the sun had sure risen. His head was throbbing from his hang over.

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