[Graded]Broom Closet Blues

[Trurouno]

Green eyes peered out at the open page as a shrouded claw reached out from under the cover. Slender fingers began to appear from under the fabric, gently turning the page as Hisao began on the next. A sharp gaze continued to follow the text, the book quickly becoming the only thing keeping him sane. Light poured in from the top window of the room, large crack in the glass shaking as another gust of wind swept into the room. Hisao sniffled slightly as he pulled the cover a little closer, tucking his nose below it as he held back a cough. Reaching from under the sheet he grabbed another tissue, pulling it under the cover before blowing his nose and tossing it into the bin. Hisao was ill, he didn't know why, he didn't know how but it wasn't good. He was never really ill but now here he was, stuck in his broom closet of a room with only his books for company. Draped around him was a black sheet, thick enough to ward of the cold, thin enough to still make it unpleasant. His green eyes peeked out from over the top, the only really alive part of his body. Pulling it a little closer Hisao turned another page, almost immediately realising he didn’t remember a word of the last. With a small sigh the boy turned the page back over, restarting the page before another loud shake of his window locked his harsh gaze onto the cracked glass throwing light down at him.

Pulling himself up, black sheet still draped over his shoulders, Hisao shuffled over to the window looking up at it as he tried to find a solution. The thing was stopping him from sleeping compliments of his landlord being too cheap to buy blinds. What was worse was that on such a windy day the window did nothing but act as a sort of funnel for the cold. Hisao had half a mind to go yell at the man, only any yells would probably just come out as spluttering coughs. The window was shaking violently with each new gust, Hisao just sat there staring at it for a while before reaching a hand out of the black cloth and pushing against it. He heard a gentle creak as the glass was forced into the crack, an unsettling one, but it at least stopped the rattling. Of course as soon as Hisao took his finger away it started up again, seeming to be even louder with the next gust of wind that welcomed itself into the little room.

He really did hate this place, every little thing about it. He had thought it was a bargain when he had first arrived, he had quickly realized how wrong he was. What was worse was that he had apparently signed some sort of paper that meant he had to keep on paying until his lease was up. What was he meant to do? He had been new to town, he would have signed anything if it gave him a chance to put his feet up. He was surprised the landlord hadn't tried to take his soul. The man probably had a paper for it somewhere. The little room was littered with books, and not just because Hisao was ill. There wasn't enough room for the amount he borrowed from the library. Some of the books were in piles, some of the piles were in rows, most were just towers. They were probably helping to support the roof at this point. Hisao's robe hung up against one of the walls, any other clothes neatly arranged into their own little piles wherever the books weren't. Taking up one half of the room was a mattress, not even a futon. Normally there would be a sheet over it, this was draped over Hisao instead.

What was worse was the shape of the room. The size was manageable, liveable even but the shape was something only a madman could come up with. Raised up above the rest of the room was the single window, staring down at everything else along with the sharp incline of the roof that barely finished a few inches from Hisao's head. Even now the boy was hunching, shuffling back to his mattress as he tried to return some of the books that fell back to their piles. Yeah only a madman, or someone trying to design a cutting edge broom closet. Finally sitting down Hisao took another glance down at his book, now ignoring the rattling of the window as he restarted the page for the third time. It was only then Hisao began to think something was off, like he was forgetting something. Blonde hair, smile of an angel, a body to die for, it could have just been a dream. Of course this was when Hisao remembered his plans for the day, the ones that had involved him giving Hikari his address. The boy's fingers clamped at the edge of the page as he froze up. It had happened again, he needed to restart the page a fourth time.

[MedeaMoirae]

It wasn't like Hisao, being late, and especially not showing up at all. Hikari didn't like it. She took the slip of paper from her pocket where she'd written his address down and went looking for him. What she found didn't make her entirely happy either.

It was a windy day, rather nasty really, and the apartment she found looked more like a closet. She frowned, mentally thinking if she ever met his landlord he'd give him a piece of her mind. She knocked on the door, just as Arata whined at the door.

Kenta had settled for a spot to sit on the roof, his feathers ruffled by the wind as he looked rather grumpy himself.

"Hisao?" Hikari didn't like where he lived, and part of her wanted to invite him to stay with her, but she knew that came with complications. Though she had recently started trying to think of a place to stay of her own and get away from her mother's newest mood swings.

[Trurouno]

The sudden clatter of knocks on the door sent shivers down Hisao's spine. It was almost perfectly on cue, like the reaper coming to collect his soul. Breathing in slowly the boy pulled himself to his feet as he placed down the book atop one of the many piles that littered the ground around him. Shuffling forwards, slight frown on his face, Hisao came to the door just in time for Hikari to yell for him from the other side. Instantly he grabbed the door handle, pulling it open a crack as he peered out at the girl from over his sheet. She looked displeased somewhat, which wasn't a huge surprise considering he was however many hours late for their meeting. Breathing into the sheet Hisao glared at the girl before beginning to speak, taking notice of the wolf at her foot. He thought to look for Kenta but supposed he was only a few paces above. "I'm sorry Hikari" the boy said quickly, still staring through the crack as he tried to soften his gaze. "I'm. . . not feeling well" he hesitantly admitted, not sure whether the shroud covering him was enough of a clue.

Any other time he might have been the more defensive sort and perhaps that still shined through in his words but right then he was just trying not to have his bad mood rub off on Hikari. Coughing loudly into the sheet Hisao looked away from the door for a second only looking back to see the girl's reaction. He didn't want to open the door anymore, he didn't want her to catch anything. "I'm sorry" Hisao repeated, coming back to the door as he shook off the cough. "I'll make it up to you I promise but todays a bad day" he added, voice sounding hoarse through the cold.

[MedeaMoirae]

Before Hikari could even open her mouth to protest Hisao's obvious attempts to get her to go away, Arata did her work for her. As pups tend to do he forced his nose through the crack of the open doorway and wriggling managed to force his way inside. He ran in a circle around the tiny room twice, likely knocking things over, before settling on Hisao's bed. The wolf sat upright and stared at Hisao with bright eyes.

"Damn it, Arata!" Hikari snapped, pushing her way through the door after him, for a moment seeming to forget about Hisao a moment. She grabbed her wolf by the scruff of his fur and pulled, but achieved nothing. The wolf didn't move, nor did his eyes leave Hisao. She sighed and turned to Hisao, finally glancing around the small room she suddenly realized she'd rudely put herself in. "This is a horrible place to be when sick." she said bluntly, knowing such a small space would just make him sicker. "You should come home with us." she added suddenly.

The wolf seemed to smirk slightly at his master's last sentence.

[Trurouno]

Without even getting a reply Hisao saw something slip through the door and into his room, a blur of white and red making circles as it promptly knocked over all of Hisao's carefully built towers. For a second he couldn't help but glance up at the ceiling, as if to check the sudden change wasn't going to send the whole thing tumbling down on them. It wouldn't be a surprise, not with that landlord. Hikari raced in after the animal, promptly pushing past the door and Hisao as he found himself clumped up into the entrance. In a second the floor had become a sea of books and papers. Hisao wasn’t tidy but he was at least ordered, this was an academic’s hell. Hikari barked out another couple of words, enough to catch Hisao by surprise, but as he looked down he caught sight of the small animal staring at him. His small eyes were locked on Hisao's, following every movement, every little twitch. The boy chose to act carefully but quickly lost his focus when Hikari suddenly began to throw a few more suggestions his way.

"No no no" Hisao replied quickly, making sure to cover his mouth as he spoke. "I. . . I wouldn't want you getting ill. And either way, I think it's better for me to stay here" he continued, shuffling over to the bed as he sat down next to the small wolf. "I don't have the energy to get all the way to the Shoshiki compound, I’m tired enough as is" he sighed. Forcing a hand over his mouth as another heavy cough wracked his body Hisao took another careful look at the girl before readjusting the sheet and beginning to clear up the books. Picking up one of them he realised it was the book he had been reading, of course this was the perfect time to realize he hadn't left a book mark in the page. Academic hell, the cold really was pulling apart his room alarmingly quickly. Of course he had to give a bit of credit to the little pooch sitting next to him, small eyes still glaring at him.

"I'll be fine" Hisao continued, half distracted as he began to reassemble one of the piles against the side of the wall. The books felt heavy, or was it just that his arms felt weak? It helped to sit down, but not much. The contagious energy of the girl and her companion wasn't doing much good either, if anything it was just making him more tired. Hisao felt like he had put on fifty years in fifty seconds, as if the years had just been plucked away. "I just need to sleep it off" he added, looking away from the girl as he coughed.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari sighed and sat down next to him, one hand on his shoulder, and one on his knee as she looked at him a moment. Without a word she reached a hand from his knee to touch his forehead, checking his temperature. "At the very least, we need to get you to the hospital. They can help." she told him. "You don't have to suffer through being sick by yourself." she told him.

Arata didn't take his eyes at Hisao, even snapping at the boys fingers once or twice when he was putting books away as if trying to get Hisao away from his own books, to pay more attention to something else. It was as if the wolf had some form of intent, instead of just random hyperness even as his master snapped at him for snapping at Hisao's fingers. Arata suddenly moved off the bed, slamming into Hikari's back in the process.

When she'd felt his forehead, she'd turned slightly to face Hisao while staying on the bed, and that put her in a precarious position when bumped in such a way that she lost her balance and was sent forward. She would've cursed, but was slightly distracted by the feeling of her lips on Hisao's, hardly remembering that the boy was sick.

[Trurouno]

Hisao shuffled to the side as he made room for Hikari, quickly realising that he was sandwiched between her and the wolf. What was worse was that Arata seemed to be snapping at him every time he tried to make a move for the books. The barking alongside the yelling of the girl was beginning to get to him, he could feel a headache coming on. Raising a hand to run his fingers across his scalp Hisao felt the girl touch a hand against his shoulder before reaching for his forehead. Her hand's felt a little cold, but were oddly cool as he returned to keeping the sheet over his mouth. He could feel another cough coming but with the girl only a foot away he kept it down with pure willpower, Hoten would be proud. Still, Hisao couldn't quite go agreeing to whatever the girl said quite yet.

"It's really fine" he said quickly, realising just how close the girl was getting. He was making her worried, that was obvious but there was no point to all this if she got ill as well. Still, he didn't want her to leave. The touch of her fingers, her soft voice even with the yelling, it was a comfort. But when she told him he was suffering Hisao knew for sure. He wanted to say he wasn't alone, he wanted to take her in his arms right then. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness that sent those urges shredding back into his head. It would destroy the promise they had made, the one that defined them staring at each other as just a crush for a little bit longer. It was something they needed, even if every cell in his body wanted to revolt and tell the girl everything he was feeling. But it was the dream that united them, he needed to remember that. Turning away Hisao sighed softly. He could feel his mind growing tired along with his body, he was ready to give in even if it did mean trudging half way across town.

Still, it was then he noticed the flash of white again at work. Suddenly Hikari fell forwards, the shock leaving Hisao just enough time to catch her coming straight at him as he went to catch her. His hands dropped the shroud and the girl crashed into him, lips touching even if just for a second. She was lying on top of him now, a nightmare for their revolution, a dream for everything else. He couldn't forget the soft feeling of her lips even as he touched his hand against her waist and tried to help her up. "A-are you okay?" he asked hesitantly, quickly side stepping the topic before it even came up. "You fell" Hisao added, not even realising how dumb the sentence sounded until he had said it. Now he was just pointing out the obvious. First he was ill, now with all this? The day was becoming more and more chaotic and with a surge of feelings Hisao knew it would be getting worse. He didn't even realise he still had his hands around her waist.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari was staring at him, just staring. She wasn't sure what else to do, she was sure there was a blush spreading across her cheeks as the reality of what just happened dawned on her, and as she realized his hands were on her hips. She was over him she realized, her long hair cascading down on either side of her face almost framing Hisao's face as well. She wasn't sure if she was embarrassed by it all, or liked it.

As the two stared at one another, Arata, who seemed rather proud of himself at this point, pranced over to the door and pushed it shut with his nose and sat on his haunches by it to make sure it wouldn't open. Whether he was happy about what accident he just caused, or the fact that he effectively locked the hawk out in the rain, wasn't certain.

Hikari felt frozen in place, it wasn't that she didn't like this at all, it was quite the opposite, and she was sorely tempted to kiss him again. After all, if he was going to make her sick, he probably already had.

[Trurouno]

Hikari didn't listen to a word he said. Sitting there, looking up at her he was just the same. There was so much going through his head, so many desires clashing against so many feelings. She was perfect but they had both said they would wait even if fate had conspired against them. Now that he sat there gazing into her eyes he remembered how difficult that promise had been to make, but also how necessary it was. She was so beautiful but that was exactly why he needed to control his emotions for her, that was exactly why they needed to wait a little longer before saying they were in love. He honestly questioned his strength to hold up that frail promise now and whether it was worth all the torture it was causing him. Looking away Hisao pulled the girl close as he held her in his arms speaking softly as he looked away. "Just wait a little longer" he reminded her despite the emotions still fighting a war against his frail arguments.

Hisao just held onto her for a while before pushing himself up, still holding her close before gently releasing her. "At least until I’m feeling a little better" he smiled as he took a hold of the sheet and pulled it up to cover his shoulders. "But, if you can would you wait with me? Until I’m feeling better?" Hisao asked as he finally took his arms away from the girl and shuffled back until his back was touching the wall. Another cough suddenly wracked his body as he looked away. His urges were still out of control and perhaps if he was healthy things would have been different, perhaps he would have betrayed his own words right then in the hell hole of a flat.

Hisao looked back at the girl as he reached out a hand to her, beckoning her to come and sit up next to the wall with him. "I'm sorry but I think this is all I can manage today" he smiled. Perhaps there was a bit of sadness mixed in their somewhere, a sad acceptance of just how many limiters he was putting on his own emotions. But Hisao had chosen to trust in Hikari and their unspoken romance. He trusted that she felt the same way, he had to just as he trusted that she knew how he really felt. It really was becoming a very troublesome day and the cold was starting to spread to his head now. Weak in mind and body, any other time Hisao would think himself shameful. Still, weakness wasn't always a bad thing, not when you had someone to be weak with you.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari was still blushing as he released her and moved to sit against the wall with him. She didn't answer anything he said, but simply smiled or nodded her silent consent. As she moved to sit beside him, she took off her vest and tossed it to the floor by the bed, it was cumbersome and uncomfortable in situations such as this.

She knew he had a fever, and it would need to break, and so as she sat beside him she drew the blanket around both of them. She snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder as she pulled the blanket around them. Even in this storm, it would get warm, but she had always been taught that sweating out a fever was the best way to break it.

As if their own body heat wasn't enough though, Arata apparently decided his was needed to. The young wolf jumped onto the bed once more and curled up beside Hisao, the side opposite Hikari and laid down against the boy's leg, his head resting on his knee as he closed his eyes for a rest or a nap.

Perhaps it all should've felt awkward to Hikari since they weren't technically together, but she found a certain comfort in it instead.

[Trurouno]

Hisao felt the sheet ruffle slightly as Hikari drew in next to him and rested her head against his shoulder. Not saying a word Hisao lay back and looked up to the ceiling before shutting his eyes. Suddenly feeling another little touch against his leg Hisao glanced down before seeing Arata jumping in where he could. Smiling softly he moved a hand to the wolf before running his fingers across it's fur. Closing his eyes Hisao returned to his earlier position as he began to really feel the drain that the cold was putting on him. His head felt heavy, his eyes painful and his whole body like it could just melt into the wall behind him. He needed rest and knew it, that was the only way to work off these things. The human body was strong, that was something people forgot to often, and as long as it could do without medicine Hisao trusted it. But sleep was indispensable, perhaps that was how he had got ill in the first place, he had been spending a lot of the nights reading after all. Because of that he had delved even deeper into his desires and betrayed his promise a little bit more, it wasn't a bad feeling though.

The storm outside felt a world away, the warmth all too close to him felt like it was reaching deep into his body and clinging to his soul. He was truly at ease and with Hikari's soft breath so close even his headache was begging to die down. Perhaps this was a moment of weakness, the most he could allow himself. Anyone who saw them right then would think they were enjoying their youth, that was obvious. Hisao chose to put off his worry for a little longer. He could just relax for the time being, sick men did need their rest after all. Behind closed doors, perhaps this once he could be true to his feelings. Feeling his senses dull and his thoughts fade Hisao's head fell back and his soft breaths became a little bit quieter. He would probably regret this when he woke up, he would regret it anyway. He had caused the girl a whole new load of problems, he would have to apologize to her later. . . Zzz.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari didn't fall asleep immediately. For awhile she simply watched Hisao sleep, watching his breathing even out and smiled as she saw just how comfortable he was snuggled up to her. The song came to mind and she couldn't help as her lips half whispered, and half sang, the words that she loved.

"Your stuck on a chain.
And you're toeing a lie.
Seems like everytime that you catch up,
You only fall behind.

Arata stirred a moment and looked up at his Master before getting comfortable again, and Hikari didn't pause. She reached out with a hand and touched the side of his face gently, careful to not wake him. She had no desire to wake him, watching him sleep so peacefully was perfect. He always seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, and all she wanted to do was take that away.

"And you're trapped inside this world you made yourself.
But that's not the world I live in,
This is not the life for me.
Cause my world is bigger than your problems,
And it's bigger than me.
That's not the world I live in,
This is not the life for me.
Cause my world is bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me."

She sang for some time longer, until she started to feel groggy. But she had no desire to sleep, she was here to take care of him. She motioned for Arata to stay put as she stopped singing and carefully stood, leaving the 'apartment' for a short time.

It was nearly an hour before she returned, carefully carrying something from a restaraunt up the road and placing it on the floor by the bed. There was a couple of servings of ramen with extra broth, some sweet rolls, and couple other things. She figured Hisao hadn't eaten in awhile and would need something soon.

[Trurouno]

Zzz. . . Black waves collapsed against a silver beach as Hisao looked out over the water. Below him the silvery grains crunched against his every step, above the dark sun glared down despite the darkness of the horizon. The world was silent but the soft clamour of the waves, but that was only because there was nothing to make noise. The black sea was dead, the silvery beaches the bones of what it had left behind. The red sun seemed only a reach away but as Hisao stopped and looked up at the red consumed sky he smiled. Why would he smile? Why at the end of the earth would he be happy?. . . Zzz

Hisao's eyes opened slowly to the sound of a sudden movement. Looking around he saw the girl just as she closed the door behind her and placed down whatever she had chosen to bring with her. Sat a few paces from him was the small wolf, just as calm and nonchalant as it was before he had lost consciousness. Brining a hand up he ran his finger's over his temples before groaning slightly. "How long was I asleep?" he asked, still feeling the dull ache of a headache in the back of his head. It was nice to know he still wasn't better, in fact noticing now it seemed nothing had changed at all. The wind was still waging outside, the heavy storm was still shaking his window like it was part of a snare drum. Over all he was just as uncomfortable as he had been before, only difference now was that Hikari had apparently had the chance to leave and come back.

"Doesn't seem like the weather has changed much" Hisao added, shuffling forwards as he glanced at the bag. There was a strong smell emanating from the bag, something that he probably couldn't usually afford. Hisao made a quick mental note to pay the girl back, though the food would probably only be the start of it. He wondered how long she had sat around while he was asleep, long enough that he didn't think she had left anyway. That had helped more than he would ever admit. Holding back another cough Hisao pulled the sheet a little tighter as he crossed his legs and silently watched the girl. His head still felt like a pack of angry elephants having a party but at least looking at her calmed him down. His breathing calmed and the shaking of the window began to fade away. She really did help, that was probably just another thing he owed her. "Did you go out?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari simply smiled in response as she sat next to him, setting the bag on the floor next to her. She didn't actually answer the question, knowing the fact that she had this bag was enough to answer it that yes she had gone out for a moment. She opened the bag and pulled out a bowl of chicken ramen, taking the lid off before offering it to Hisaw. "You need to eat something." she told him. She didn't tell him she had medicine for him as well, but figured she'd mention that after she got him to eat something. Giving someone medicine on an empty stomach could be worse than the sickness itself.

When she handed him the soup she handed him a couple of sweet rolls to go with it before getting her own. It was exactly the same. It'd been easier to order it that way and didn't want to get too many differing smells into the room in case Hisao's stomach was a wreck.

[Trurouno]

Hikari sat down next to him as she offered him a bowl of what looked to be ramen. Sure, she didn't answer his questions but that was probably for the best. In his state of mind anything he said probably just ended up as splutters and coughs. He needed someone to tell him what to do, but this was the only time his pride would accept that. Taking the bowl Hisao rested it down on his lap, placing everything else she handed to him down next to the bowl. Glancing around he reached over to the end of his bed, moving a few books before finding a small box. Opening it up he offered it to Hikari. The box was full of chopsticks, the free sort that one could safely smuggle out of a takeaway without them noticing. "Sorry, these will have to do" he explained before taking his own pair. Snapping them into two he finally opened the lid from the ramen before poking some of the noodles with the chopsticks.

He was expecting more wondrous smells, instead they just seemed to get stuck in his nose and tangled up in his cold. Sighing slightly he picked up one of the pieces of chicken before placing it in his mouth. Chewing slowly he glanced over at Hikari, the girl clearly looking a lot more controlled than he was. Sat upright she looked positively majestic, instead he was like some sort of bitter old man hunched over his bowl. It wasn't a good look but that was another blow his pride had to take. "Thank you" Hisao said shortly, perhaps leaving it later than he should have. The thought hadn't occurred to him, a lot hadn't, but at least now with the warm bowl in his lap and the food in his stomach he felt a little better.

Glancing back up at her Hisao was half tempted to ask what her next order was, but he doubted this was the time to make jokes. Instead he just slurped away in silence, that was probably for the best. Still, as he fished past some of the noodles for chicken he found himself glancing back at the girl. This food was a lot better than he was used to, that was for sure, but he wondered how far she had to go to get it. The weather still looked pretty terrible, it couldn't have been fun. "It wasn't too cold was it?" Hisao mumbled as he continued to stare into the pool of soup. "I really am thankful" he added, half to himself as he continued to mumble. He wasn't doing any favours to his old man image but was at least still standing by the only once excuse. The list of things he had to pay back was becoming longer and longer, but maybe that also applied to him proving himself?

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari smiled as she took the offered chopsticks and sat down with him. "These are fine." she told him. She looked up as Arata walked over and whined at her. With a smirk she took out a sweet roll and tossed it to the pup. When he'd consumed it she tossed him another. But the second he didn't eat, the second he took with as he turned and nosed his way out the door.

Hikari turned her attention back to Hisao and shook her head. "You don't have to keep thanking me, I'm always going to do what I can to help you out." she said.

[Trurouno]

Hikari replied with all the kindness Hisao was coming to expect of her but even in that he began to find problems. She was really becoming someone special to him no matter how long he tried to keep denying it. "Is that because we're a team?" he replied with a smile. "Or. . ." was it because they were something more? It was just a mumbled extra word but he felt his breath whisked away because of it. His mind told him he had gone too far while everything else fighting for control instantly chimed up with their own opinions. Forcing himself to remember the promise Hisao glanced down at the bowl in front of him, chopsticks abandoned at its edge as he breathed heavily. Suddenly, his body wracked forwards with another cough before he looked back up at the girl. There was a pressure on his shoulders, something that told him he had made a mistake. He knew he had to say something but maybe with that he went too far, she still didn’t know a thing about him after all.

"You would have hated my old man" he smiled nervously. His head was hurting more with each second, the sudden cough had dripped some soup over his leg which he was now trying desperately to hide and with each new word his voice was becoming more panicked alongside the thumping of his head. "He was always telling me to thank people" he continued, voice quavering as he tried to keep back the rhythmic ache. "Thank them for this, thank them for that. Thank your brother for passing things to you, thank boys for bringing your sister home" he continued, eventually looking away from Hikari as his voice grew weaker and weaker. There was a deep throbbing now, something he couldn't overlook, but he had done something worse. "Though. . . whenever that happened he always seemed to be the most grumpy" Hisao laughed nervously. "Haruna had always been more supportive for things like that. . ." he added slowly.

Looking into the bowl Hisao grew more and more silent. Where was his composure? Where was all that mental strength he said would change the world? He felt like he was staring into his mind; clouded, hot and full of noodles. He chuckled again, slowly this time as he looked up. "God, I miss them. . ." he sighed sadly. In his moment of weakness was it so wrong to miss the people he cared about, even if the new ones were sitting right next to him? Maybe that wasn't fair on Hikari, maybe she deserved more? Or maybe it was time he lightened up and finally accepted he could miss home?

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari smiled sadly as she listened to him. When he'd first started, she'd wanted to reply, but both didn't know how or if she was supposed to. As he spoke of his family she saw his sadness and she set her soup aside, reaching out and touching his wrist lightly. "It's okay to miss them. I mean, I don't know where they are, or how you ended up here without them. You haven't told me. But our family will always be the first people we ever loved, no matter what happens. Missing them is only natural." She blushed slightly as her lips spoke the word, almost embarrassed to use it. But why? Because she had feelings for Hisao?

She did her best to push these thoughts aside, raising an eyebrow at him as she watched his mind wander and his soup sit idle.

[Trurouno]

"I suppose you're right" Hisao replied, looking at Hikari with a smile. It was true that he missed them, even if he tried to hide it, but at least he could accept that. He had a lot of stories about them, maybe that was why he had left himself, to create his own. He wondered what he would tell them if he went back, if there was enough quite yet. Sighing softly Hisao placed down the bowl of soup before shuffling back until he was more comfortable against the wall. "But still, it feels strange not having them here sometimes. They taught me everything I know about life, since then it just feels like all the jutsu and books have been tacked onto the end." Sighing Hisao took a bite of one of the sweet rolls before continuing. "Honestly, I’ve probably learnt more here than I ever would have but back then everything meant something. You learnt to work to live and to survive. Here I just learn for the sake of learning, though maybe that will change with responsibility?" Hisao sighed to himself.

"Do you want to hear about them?" he asked suddenly. "I think I told you something when I first came here, but even that was just the surface. My family ended up pretty complicated" he chuckled. "Great stories though, like a real novel sometimes" he smiled, maybe still a little sadly as he replayed the memories. "Hard to think they were my life looking at me now."

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari smiled and started setting most of the uneaten food aside so it wouldn't get spilled or stepped on. "Sure, I'd love to hear about your family." she said. She didn't know much about where he came from, and truly did think it would be neat to know more. She snuggled up to him and looked up at him, waiting for him to speak again.

She knew it might make him uncomfortable, given the distance they'd said they would keep between one another, but part of her didn't care. This felt right, and it really wasn't that much of a break from what they had said right? Though she had to admit, looking up at him from this angle, she kinda wished he'd kiss her, sick or not. But she did what she could to brush such thoughts aside.

[Trurouno]

And so he told her everything. About his father and brother, the arrival of his second mother and sisters. About the work and the memories, the mysteries and the things he had missed along the way. All of it, the things that had made him who he was and always would be. About the influence of his father and the mystery of his mother, the reason he had come to Iwa. Long stories but he tried to make them exciting in any way he could. Some were heart pumping, some weren’t, but each was from his memories to his mouth as pure as he could remember. It was true he spiced them up a little here and there. A little shorter space of time here or a grander house there. He had a particularly good time describing the lord's home, though that was only because of how much his childlike memories had already changed it. But more than anything else he spoke about his siblings, even if they weren't that way by blood. Maybe they weren't like Hikari's siblings, maybe they weren't that close. . . but he knew he missed them.

The memories brought back so much but sitting there with Hikari at his side he couldn't help but feel like just speaking was making everything better. But, there was one thing Hisao left out. No matter what he said, no matter how much he told her there would always be that black mark on his back. He had burned it in himself, a constant reminder of his origins that no one could know about. Sure, he called his father a mystery but never gave Hikari a real chance to find out why. Every time he came close he glossed over it and returned to the grander stories, the ones he could be more proud of. He trusted her, he really did, but the burn represented his passion. When that collapsed he would go home, simple, clean and well deserved. Maybe then he could live the way he was meant to before he had remembered his mother, maybe just maybe that could be his way out.

"I never knew what to say to them when I left" he said slowly, finishing off his final story as the dim sky soaked across the book laden room. "I didn't want to see them sad, even though I knew saying goodbye would be difficult. It was stupid I know. They probably worried, maybe they still do." Head lulling back he sighed loudly. "I wished I had enjoyed it all more now, having a family. I spent so long dreaming of the rest othe world that I didn't even think about what was around me. From my history books I made all these grand assumptions" he smiled. "There are powers in the world, some weak, some strong and some just waiting for a spark" he chuckled, repeating the mantra. It always seemed to be on the end of his tongue or the back of his mind those days, even when he should have been caring about his family. "I wonder if I still think that way. . ."

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari listened carefully, loving every moment of it. Not just because Hisao didn't object to her being so close, but because to her it was fascinating hearing how people lived, normal people. To her it sounded like a blissfully amazing existance, not having to worry about the ninja way.

"It sounds amazing." she told him.

She shifted how she was sitting, sitting up a bit higher but for now her glance was down, glancing around the room. "You know, my brother and I are getting our own place. You're welcome to come by any time, there's no reason for you to be stuck in this small room. And my brother has a bunch of books on the ninja way, as well as on surrounding lands and even far away lands. You'd love it, it's like a miniature library."

When she finally did turn to look at him she realized this shifting of her position had put her almost nose to nose with Hisao and she couldn't help but blush, glancing away quickly knowing that wasn't something he was wanting just yet. She moved back to where she'd been a moment before as she tried to hide her slight embarrassment.

[Trurouno]

Hikari listened quietly, honestly fascinated it seemed but when she spoke and edged a little further away he couldn't help but have his doubts. There was still other things, sitting and lurking there that he couldn't tell her. Yes he had been honest but was it his negligent dismissal of some of the most crucial parts that was still bugging him? For a second he thought over what might have happened if he had told her everything, really everything but chose to seal it deep inside as he glanced towards her. She did seem honestly happy, though, now that he was finishing, he couldn't believe he had sat there for so long. Was he becoming some sort of wittering hermit in his illness, it would certainly fit with the image of the downtrodden room. With a small smile he dismissed the thought, at least now he was feeling better, at least now his skin didn't feel so clammy. In fact, his headache already felt a world away and his cough, well that was still there but at least didn't seem so prominent.

Hikari's next words came as a bit more of a surprise but her reaching out was gladly accepted, not that Hisao didn't miss the little comment on where he lived. Sure, he didn't like it but there was a certain attraction someone built when they were stuck somewhere for so long. He believed it was called Stockholm syndrome. "Sounds interesting" he mused aloud, leaning a little closer before the girl suddenly turned around. The sudden move caught them both by surprise and looking away red faced Hisao's mind rushed for what to say next. "But. . . uhh. . ." he struggled aloud, "I might not be moving for a little longer so maybe not yet. When I get better?" he said aloud, still slightly nervous as he braved another glance at the girl.

"But, there are only so much books I can take out from the library at a time" he added, "so I would love the chance to see some more. Especially the sort I don't need to take home with me." Suddenly another loud cough wracked his body, but he had spent so long talking was that really such a big surprise? His voice was probably going hoarse, not to mention the itch in the back of his throat from speaking for too long. The cold was beginning to wash back into the room as well, though that was the downside of Hikari being so active. She had stayed sat next to him for such a long time, maybe it was too much to wish she'd stay like that a little longer? Dismissing it with a smile the boy slouched back before shutting his eyes. "It's getting late" he sighed.

[MedeaMoirae]

Hikari frowned as he mentioned the lateness, a less than subtle hint that he was dropping that she needed to leave. She sighed as she gathered up the trash, but set the leftovers aside. "You should try to eat some more when you can." she told him, smiling as best as she could. She stood and looked down at him for a moment, trying to hide the fact that she felt like she'd just been dismissed completely. After all, they had said they weren't going to get involved right? So what was she getting so hurt over?

"Get better, Hisao. I'll see you later." she said quietly as she stepped outside. Kenta took off into the sky as she did and Arata was sitting at the door almost seeming to glare at Hisao as Hikari closed it behind her.

With the door closed for a moment the girl took a deep breath and sighed, fighting the tears in the corners of her eyes. 'How stupid am I?' she thought to herself, here she was putting herself through heart break again.

Enough.

It simply wasn't worth it.

[Trurouno]

The room felt cold with Hikari gone. The walls felt tighter, the books more daunting and the unsatisfying mattress he had labelled his bad as unappealing as the first time he had seen it. Everything felt darker, but the itching at the back of his throat and the tiredness clawing at his eyes couldn't be ignored any longer. Looking up hesitantly Hisao shuffled to one side of the bed. The sheet was still draped over his shoulders but rolling into a good space he was finally able to get it into a comfortably warm position. The broken window shook against its frame, the cold spilled out and Hisao's body rocked forwards as another rough cough sent shakes across his spine. It hadn't felt so bad when Hikari was there, though maybe that just showed him it wasn't always a good idea to go and get into such mental conundrums when you were ill. He would have to thank her later, for everything, but his eyes were already shutting and the dark shades of sleep were washing over him.

Giving in Hisao held back another cough before melting into the mattress. It wasn't much and there was no reason for him to be so happy but past the illness and weakness of his own body he really was. His dream still burned bright. His teammates stood with him, it all seemed within reach and just this once he was able to forgive a moment of weakness. He wondered how he would remember that day? Embarrassing, maybe. Dreadful, probably not. But enlightening, most likely. Weakness was a part of all of them, but was that so bad when you could share it with someone? He was coming to accept that and in the gentle cold clatter of his room as he shut his eyes Hisao was really at peace. His head was aching, his throat hurt but that dream still burned bright.

The world was their oyster, their generation his reach and in all that humdrum of activity Hisao dreamed with his eyes open and truly believed it would all turn out okay. But, in the end what was he but a man? Dreams were a fickle mistress and the line between success and failure was one few could tamper with. Maybe on one side the world was their oyster, but maybe on the other something much crueller was waiting. . .