Love Sickness

[Willoria]

It had been two days since Ume had seen Kotaru for their last training. It was nearly noon, and Ume was still curled up in bed. She wore a simple pair of grey sweatpants and a matching sports bra. Her blue hair was loose and a complete mess as she had the covers pulled up over her head still. The curtains of the room were drawn closed, keeping the room in darkness. She hadn't left home or contacted anyone the last couple of days and barely eaten much of anything, though at least three empty bottles of cheap sake lay on the floor. It was clear she was still upset and wallowing in how things had ended with Kotaru that day. She hated herself for the moment, for hurting him yet again.

On the pillow beside her head was Kantai who sat in silence. Every once in a while a green aura of Iijutsu chakra would waft out from the creature and Ume would grumble at her, but she didn't stop her. Kantai would merely shake her head and inch just a bit closer. By time things hit early afternoon the little rabbit creature was sitting on Ume's back, who was laying on her stomach passed out. She was simply letting her passive aura try to help with Ume's rough hangover in silence.

[TyDie]

Jinsai had given Ume the week to train with Kotaru without a fuss, as she had requested, despite his obvious objection to the idea of her being alone with such a powerful Akari for such a long period of time. However, he expected to hear from her the moment she was back. That clearly didn't happen, so to ease his worries, he was making a house call now. He figured, if she wasn't here, she was still with Kotaru, and if she was with Kotaru and hadn't sent word to him it might be against her will... or she might be dead. Obviously, both were horrible possibilities.

Her front door was open as he checked the knob, a shock to say the least, and as he entered the abode a faint smell of alcohol could be sensed through the abode. He'd follow the scent through the woman's house, not really staying silent but not being overly loud either. When he got to her room, he slowly opened it and peeked inside, finding her with Kantai on her back in a seriously disheveled state. "...Ume?" Jinsai spoke quietly, slowly inching into the room and getting Kantai's attention. "Is, uh... is she okay, little one?"

[Willoria]

Ume didn't seem to budge at any of the noise Jinsai made as he moved through the house, or even as he spoke. Kantai however picked up her head as he spoke and seemed to make a few small squeaking sounds in response to his question, a sound he'd of course know to be her way of laughing. She shifted around on Ume's back and nuzzled her nose in between the woman's chin and shoulder, causing Ume to grumble grumpily at her, waving a lazy hand at her briefly. Kantai picked her head up to look at Jinsai. "She's just hungover... maybe still a little drunk." she said, her voice sounding more than a little amused. "Seems I can't heal enough to purge it from her. But maybe you can help her." She hopped down carefully off of Ume's back and onto the bed. "Good luck with her, Jinsai-Sama." she told him, squeaking a bit to herself again in a laugh before she disappeared in a swirl of chakra.

Ume herself only grumbled and pulled the blanket further over her head.

Back at the front door there was a quiet knock, barely audible before a redheaded woman looked in. She pushed the door open and caught a whiff of the alcohol as well, wrinkling up her nose in an expression of disgust. "Eh fuck... smells like a damn still in here..."

[TyDie]

Jinsai smiled and nodded to the small summon, giving a slight bow, as he knew the creature was prim and proper as he was. "Of course, my lady. I'll take good care of her, Kantai-san." Once the adorable summon squeaked and poofed away, it left Jinsai alone with the woman, who was still incredibly grumbly and hung over. With a sign, Jinsai simply walked over to her bedside. "You know sitting there in misery won't make the hang over go away, right? You need to hydrate. I'll get you some water, and I expect you to drink it. This isn't up for debate." Jinsai turned to leave the room, and that's when he noticed the red headed woman peering into the room and turning up her nose at the smell.

Of course, the first thought in his mind was to quickly produce his sansetsukon, grabbing hold of the two outside sections to control it better in tight quarters. "Who are you, and what are you doing in Ume's home? Speak quickly, or I'll have to assume the worst." Even giving a threat, the man was cordial and proper... But he would make good on it if the woman thought to attack.

[Willoria]

Ume grumbled at Jinsai quietly, also waving him off haphazardly. Getting her moving was probably going to take more effort than words at this point.

Out in the living room Akari Masako was looking around when Jinsai came back. As he suddenly produced a weapon the woman went into a defensive stance but she did not produce any of her shiin yet. She looked at him a moment as if studying him before tilting her head slightly. "I should be asking you the same thing." she replied. "I am Akari Masako... the Clan Elders have assigned me to Akari Ume as a bodyguard after recent threats made to her person." She kept her eyes on him and his weapon for a few moments before easing up her stance slightly, relaxing her legs specifically though her hands were still in a ready position. "You must be the Fukusha she brought to the Arena with her then?"

Masako glanced towards the bedroom before looking back at Jinsai. "Is she back there? Is she alright?" Her tone was near formal, though her concern was only partially sincere, making it clear the questions were purely business rather than personal.

[TyDie]

Jinsai listened to what the woman had to say, and as she mentioned her surname, he let out a sigh of annoyance. Of course she was an Akari... That already made clear he wasn't going to drop his guard. "So you just happened to be guarding an Akari who is in possession of one of your clan's rarest organs, while they're at their weakest? Forgive me if I'm doubtful of your intentions." Jinsai scoffed as he kept his weapon poised and ready to strike, waiting for her to make the first move.

"I am. Fukusha, Jinsai. And she's fine, it's none of your concern." His answers short and simple, his tone cold and distant. He was ready for this to turn violent unless she could offer some kind of proof of her intentions. "As someone who isn't an Akari, I think I'm the better choice for protecting her, Masako. I have little to gain from killing her... unlike you and your people."

[Willoria]

"You're half the reason I'm here." Masako replied, a hint of anger in her voice starting to come through. She relaxed her stance further, dropping one hand to her side as she kept only one hand up now in more of a 'wait' signal than a defensive one. "Look, just hold on..." She slowly, and very carefully, reached into a pouch on her hip and produced a scroll. Taking a few steps towards him to close the gap she dropped her free hand and held the scroll out towards him. "My orders." she told him. "Look, yes, her Astrashiin is one reason she's a target, but you're the other reason. Do you have any idea how many people she pissed off by bringing you to the Arena with her?" she explained to him, taking a couple of steps back from him once he'd taken the scroll from her (hopefully). "Non-Akari aren't allowed there at all... what you witnessed is one of our sacred traditions, it violates treaties between our Clan and the Village. She was told to stop associating with you entirely... and she refused." Masako took a deep breath. "I'm afraid the consequence is that now someone has to keep an eye on her... someone the clan trusts... and that's me."

She watched him for a moment, shifting to move to a nearby wall and leaning against it. "I have no interest in her shiin, whether you believe me or not. I'm not a collector... and one of the shiin I have comes with certain responsibilities. One of them is protecting people like her. It's what I was raised to do. Just like her last guardian, Koyama."

As the pair talked, Ume came out of her room, grumbling and leaning against the wall to keep her balance. "Jinsai? What're you doing here?" she asked, squinting her eyes and barely coherent.

[TyDie]

Jinsai was tense and poised to strike if the woman thought to try anything funny, but as she made clear he was part of the problem his eyebrow raised curiously. She produced a scroll, slowly and carefully, and handed it to the Fukusha while explaining that Ume had broken some serious rules. Reluctantly, he let go of one section of his staff to reach out and grab the scroll, unfolding it one handed and scanning the document for a few moments before sighing and putting away his weapon finally. "Fine, it checks out." He said with a grumpy look, rolling the scroll back up and handing it to Masako. Still, he was curious about why Ume would go so far as to buck her clan so seriously. Had she done this on purpose, as a 'middle finger' to the clan? Because if anything it seems she had only pissed them off worse...

She claimed she had no desire to go after Ume's shiin, and to that Jinsai simply glared. "I don't believe you, but that's besides the point. I can't meddle too deeply in your clan's affairs or the orders you've received, but I can absolutely protect my friend's life, regardless of what your leaders may think." The black haired Jounin scowled at the younger looking Akari, crossing his arms with a huff. But his attention was brought to the hall as Ume stumbled out, and his entire demeanor shifted to that of concern and worry.

"Hey, easy you." Jinsai said with a totally different voice, one far more compassionate than the tone he was using with Masako. He'd walk over to her and assist her however he could in getting her to the couch or chair or something, letting her rest her feet and body. "You shouldn't have gotten up, Ume. Rest for now, I'll get you some water and whip up a quick hang over remedy." Jinsai would then turn to Masako and glare for a moment, making clear that he didn't trust her long enough to leave her alone with Ume. "You should come help. I could use a hand." It was an incredibly thin reasoning, no doubt Masako would see right through it, but he didn't trust her to be alone with Ume. That said, her orders seemed legitimate, so whether she decided to or not, he would head to the kitchen to work on his task of helping Ume. However, he was still on high alert, and would spring into action at the slightest sense of danger.

[Willoria]

Masako gave the man a strange look as his tone changed entirely and she watched him help Ume to the couch. It was pretty clear the girl was either hungover or still drunk. She didn't move to help, instead staying against the wall with her arms crossed as she chose to stay out of the pair's way. Ume herself grumbled as she was helped to the couch, again trying to wave Jinsai off but her efforts were barely any effort at all. "I'm fine..." she grumbled at him. "I'd rather more sake if you're going to get me anything..." she said, lifting her head and looking over to see the other Akari. She seemed to notice Masako for the first time and bristled visibly. "Who the fuck are you?"

Masako sighed heavily, expecting another bad reaction at this point. "Akari Masako. The Clan Elders decided it was past time to assign you another guardian..." she said, taking the scroll out again and tossing it so it'd land on the couch next to Ume. When Jinsai insisted she join him in the kitchen she rolled her eyes but she complied, closing and locking the front door before following. When she did she locked the back door as well.

"Are there any other entrances?" she'd ask him once she finished, leaning against a counter not far from him as she watched him work. "I'm guessing you were at least smart enough to make sure her windows were locked already?"

[TyDie]

Jinsai's suspicion was once more roused as Ume made clear she didn't know who this woman was either. He found his hand drifting towards his weapon again... was that scroll of hers a fake? Ume would probably know, she knew the clan's method of officially signing documents, but she was so hung over would she even notice? While he whipped up his cure, taking a few herbs and spices from Ume's cupboard and mixing them in water, his eyes were fixated on the red haired woman. Her questions earned a scoff from him as he took out a spoon to mix the water and herbs together. "No, just the two. And of course I've checked the windows, as far as I know she rarely if ever unlocks them anyway."

He tapped the spoon against the glass for a moment, the swirling liquid had turned slightly cloudy with his additions to the water, and a slight odor emanating from the glass. "Let's get something straight from the jump, Masako. I don't trust you. Even if you have been assigned to protect Ume, you don't care about her outside of the parameters of your orders. I do. So get used to me being around, because until I know for certain that you're telling the truth about all of this, You won't find her without me nearby." He held the glass in his hand and eyed her coldly, waiting for some kind of reply before he would move past her towards Ume with the glass in hand.

[Willoria]

Masako rolled her eyes at Jinsai's comments and what she perceived as useless posturing. "Tell me, if you cared so much about her, why am I the one who already knows why she's drinking herself to death? Because I'm guessing you don't." she replied, crossing her arms. "You just want her feeling better so you can strap her into something else for your games." she added, a smirk spreading across her face as she pushed off the counter and made her way back into the living room ahead of him.

Ume sighed, looking up as Masako came back into the room, likely with Jinsai not far behind. She set the scroll aside and eyed the other Akari suspiciously for a moment. "If these are real, show me your shiin." she said groggily.

Masako mentally rolled her eyes, but it was a request she'd been expecting. Funneling chakra through her body, she manifested her shiin. The Lacrishiin formed in a sheer green armor that came over her torso while yellow Phasmashiin formed parallel to her forearms as she kept her arms parallel to her body. She made sure not to make any movements to suggest an attack however, raising an eyebrow as she looked at Ume a moment before also dismissing the shiin. "Satisfied?"

Ume shook her head, and then nearly fell over from the movement. "No, but your orders are real." she stated. "Does he know you're here?"

Masako's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. "Lord Akari Kotaru? No. He's not an Elder. He spoke to you as a messenger, nothing more. If he knows it's because he was informed, not because he was part of the decision."

[TyDie]

Jinsai scowled at the woman for her quip about her knowing more about Ume's current situation than he did. Of course she did, he had stayed away by Ume's request for the past week. But the comment about his own lifestyle made him flare up with momentary rage, which he vented slightly to the woman. "What I do behind closed doors is none of your business, Akari. I keep my work and private life separate, and I'll thank you to keep it that way." Though his words were proper, the venom with which he spit them would make clear his disdain for her knowledge.

It was his turn to sit back with his arms crossed and eyes focused intently on Masako, watching for the slightest sign of an attack as she produced her shiin as Ume asked. Thankfully, she was smart enough to manifest them defensively and from a safe distance from Ume's person. He would take careful note of her shiin, making sure to keep them in mind should he ever have to fight her... Ume confirmed her orders, and Jinsai walked over to Ume to give her the glass of water now that the situation was mostly resolved. He wasn't any happier about it than she was clearly, but Masako's orders were genuine. And that would have to be enough for Jinsai.

"Drink, Ume. You'll feel better in about 15 minutes." Jinsai still stood part way in front of Ume, partway to the side so she and Masako could still see each other but making it clear that he was still not convinced of the woman's sense of duty. "So what's the plan then, as her guardian? How long is she stuck with you now?"

[Willoria]

Ume took the drink that was offered to her, wrinkling up her nose and making a face as she caught a whiff of it, not to mention the sounds coming from the now slightly fizzy drink. She gave Jinsai a look but knew better than to argue with him about it. She tried to drink it quickly, chugging the drink down. But once it was gone she shuddered and made a strange sound of disgust and shook her head. "Eugh that's gross, Jin." she said, shaking her head. "That's worse than your junk after Takoyaki." she added, apparently slipping into old crass habits in her hungover state.

Masako couldn't even cover her mouth in time before she snorted in laughter at that statement. She actually had to take a moment to recover before she could finally answer Jinsai's question, or at least attempt to answer it. "Until I'm either reassigned or die." she told him bluntly with a shrug. "Probably not long either way, given her reputation either I'm going to wind up dead fairly quickly or she's going to wind up Bannin fairly quickly." She raised an eyebrow and looked at Jinsai for a moment.

"I get that you don't trust me, and that's good. But you can't watch her twenty-four hours a day, which is exactly why I'm here. Lord Akari's reputation can only protect her so much even, which is also why I'm here. I'm another pair of eyes, hell she's stronger than I am in many ways. Think of me as a warning system. Eventually you're going to have to realize that part of my orders are making sure no harm comes to her, including from me. If you don't trust Akari, trust that I'm loyal to my Clan and my orders, and trust that."

[TyDie]

Jinsai rolled his eyes as Ume's crass nature emerged after she drank the concoction, scoffing as Masako laughed at the woman's statement. "Please don't start with that again, Ume. You were doing so well..." He let out a sigh of annoyance, sitting on the couch next to Ume and taking the glass from her as she finished drinking. Masako explained herself a little better, and to be fair she presented herself a lot better now than she had at the beginning. But that said, while he was more understanding of the situation, he wasn't any happier about it.

"Fine. I can respect following orders, but don't expect me to trust you. I trust that Ume is strong enough and smart enough to stop you if you turn out to be too greedy for your own good." Jinsai would lean back into the couch cushion, letting out a sigh of annoyance and huffing through his nose. But as he turned to look at Ume, slowly recovering from the ordeal of dealing with this newcomer into Ume's life, Jinsai finally thought to ask the real questions. "So... why were you so hammered, anyway? I thought you were training all week, how did that lead to alcoholism?"

[Willoria]

Masako rolled her eyes as Jinsai made clear yet again his lack of trust for her and her role as body guard. She simply shook her head as she watched the two and heard the question he asked Ume. She stayed where she was, at least until Ume gave her an awkward look and she realized that the answer was clearly something Ume wasn't comfortable discussing in front of a stranger. Masako frowned and sighed. "Guess it's a good time to get to know the lay of the property." she muttered, turning for the door. She unlocked it and stepped out, planning on doing a check around the house and the property to figure out the property lines, weak points, and the like, mostly to give the pair some privacy.

Ume sighed as Masako left and put her face in her hands for a moment. "Kota." she said simply after a few moments of quiet. She leaned back into the cushions of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "It's been awhile since I've been around him, and after seeing him in an official capacity I thought he was over me. That's why I asked him to train with me... got obvious pretty quick during training that he's not."

Ume took a deep breath and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. "On the last day he had me under a genjutsu that causes pain if the target lies, as part of the training. It was supposed to be a game of two truths and a lie. Instead we wound up talking about our past... apparently I still can't talk to him without hurting him."

[TyDie]

Jinsai noticed the shift in the air as his question was asked, and Masako made herself scarce with a bad excuse. But even he couldn't have expected what Ume was about to confess to. Though, to be fair, he knew less about Kotaru and much more about Ume's history with Tatsuo. "Hmm... That seems a bit awkward." Jinsai stroked his chin in thought, wondering how to approach this. It seemed more like she was upset that she had hurt him, not that he wasn't over her. And that meant... she wasn't really over him, either.

"Well, drinking yourself stupid isn't going to do anyone any good, least of all your liver. Tell me, Ume... How do you feel about Kotaru? I know about you and Tatsuo, but you haven't spoken much about Kotaru in the past."

[Willoria]

Ume sighed, pulling one of her legs up on the couch with her and hugging it to her chest, her other leg still dangling off the couch. "I've told you about him before." she replied quietly, clearly hesitant to talk about Kota, even to Jinsai. "He may as well be Tatsuo's younger brother... and he's the one I cheated on Tatsuo with. I kissed him when I was dating Tatsuo." She took a deep breath and let it out slow, resting her forehead on her knee as she thought about the past that she'd tried and failed so many times to put behind her. "It's no excuse... but Tats had been away on mission a lot, and I was going through a hard time. I had been diagnosed with a kind of plague that was unique to my clan. I still wasn't sure if I would even survive it, so Kota went with me to the doctor so I wouldn't be alone. He was with me a lot back then and I just... I started having feelings for him back then. I guess I was lonely. After I cheated on Tatsuo with him I kept trying to fix things with Tatsuo but Kota was still the one who was there for me. He saved my life more than once. He was always the one who was there for me while I was trying to chase after Tats instead..."

Ume shook her head, tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. "He kept hurting me and I just kept on hurting him... then, right before I met you, I had a chance to finally be with Kota. We finally talked about putting it all behind us, about being together and I admitted I was in love with him. But then I had another argument with Tatsuo and he felt I was still too hung up on his brother so... I lost my chance... until last week that was the last time I had seen him."

It was barely a summary of what had happened between them, and she knew there was a lot more to it. But as she tried to push through the hangover it was the best she could do so far.

[TyDie]

Jinsai crossed his arms and nodded in thought and understanding as the woman recounted her time spent with Kotaru, the Akari whom she had cheated on Tatsuo with. The situation was hairy to be sure, but from what he understood the woman had more with Kotaru than she ever did with Tatsuo. "A painful story, to say the least..." Was all Jinsai could get out at first, noticing the discomfort that Ume was feeling in regards to the topic. But, she wouldn't be able to move past it unless she confronted it. So, he'd get her brain working on that topic a little more...

"I'm going to ask you a simple question, Ume. What's stopping you from being with Kotaru now? I may not like most Akari, or the idea of you being with one romantically, but it's not my life. And clearly, on some level, you trust him. So, there shouldn't be anything preventing you from it... unless he doesn't want to?" He wasn't trying to push her to make a decision just yet of course, but he did want to get her asking herself these questions...

[Willoria]

"I just spent a week letting him torture me with genjutsu for training because I knew he would never actually hurt me..." Ume muttered with a half-hearted chuckle. "Of course I trust him." she added, sighing as she tried to stand. She stumbled for a moment before she managed to get her balance and started pacing with her arms crossed underneath her chest. When he asked her what was stopping her, she had to refrain from simply responding that he was. It was true, but at the same time it wasn't.

"I made a pass at him and he told me not to do that if I didn't mean it." she told him, sighing quietly. "He later asked me if I was over him yet... and I admitted I wasn't." She couldn't even bring herself to look at Jinsai when she said that. She had strong feelings for Jinsai as well, which didn't help her own confusion over the entire situation. More than one she'd wondered what her feelings for Jinsai were, or if they mattered. After all, even though she knew Jinsai cared about her he'd also made clear more than once that romance was hardly a part of the way his mind worked.

"I still care about him, Jin... but I'm no good for him. All I ever do is cause him pain. And the way I live now.. he'd have to be willing to share me. I told him about it. All of it. He even admitted he'd never be okay with it." She put a hand on the mantle over the fireplace, her free hand wiping away at tears in the corners of her eyes. "If I hadn't been under that stupid truth gen maybe I could've softened my words at least... instead I was brutally honest and all I did was hurt him. Again."

[TyDie]

Jinsai had heard all he needed to hear. In her emotional state right now, she was logical in her reasonings, but there was only a few details that really needed repeating. "So... just to clarify." Jinsai began, rising from his seat to move over towards Ume. "You trust him. You're not over him. And you think he'd have to share you with someone... with me." He crossed the room over to Ume's side and rested a hand on her shoulder, letting out a deep huff. "Two truths, one lie. Pick out the lie, Ume."

If she turned to look at him, she'd find the man smiling, even as he felt a touch of disappointment in his own words. "Who am I to stand in the way of something that I have no interest in doing myself? What we did, the way I live, that's my way of being romantic. It isn't yours, and you'll never get what you want from me. You'd be doing yourself a disservice if you tried."

[Willoria]

Ume found herself sniffling and mentally chided herself over it as she wiped away her own tears for a moment. Though confusion crossed her face as he spoke of truths and lies. She turned to look at him a moment. "What do you mean? What lie?" she asked. She found herself feeling a bit offended almost at what he was saying. She reached over and put a hand on his hip as she closed the gape between them and looked up at him. "What is it you think I want from you?" she asked him, not even realizing how oddly similar her question was to one Kotaru had just asked her a couple days prior.

Though her mind was still a bit muddled from the hangover, she felt herself getting frustrated and a bit confused. Before she had finally gotten Jinsai to open up enough to her to explain his particular lifestyle to her, he had spent a great deal of time keeping a wall up between them. Even when she was only joking with him or trying to tease him she'd grow frustrated at how serious he'd get about the gap between their ages and so many other perceived issues. Now as he brought up 'standing in the way' she felt like it was the start of another wall.

"When I missed my chance with Kotaru, it was because I kept chasing Tatsuo out of some misguided sense of owing him because I had cheated on him. I didn't let myself make a choice, I never tried to make a choice." Ume sighed, trying to keep her frustrations at a minimum as she looked up at Jin, but having some trouble with it. "Now you're talking about standing in the way of something that isn't even a chance... all it was, was I hurt him again just by being around him, Jin... when does what I want matter? Do I get to choose at some point?"

[TyDie]

Jinsai was a little dumbfounded by the woman's lack of comprehension... In fact, it caught him so off guard, he couldn't help but laugh as she got defensive and confused. "Hahaha, Oh my goodness Ume. You're easily one of the most dense people I've met." If allowed, he'd reach with both hands to hold her head steady while he planted a small kiss on her forehead, his laughter dying out into a chuckle as he finally got the mind to explain. "Fine, I'll spell it out. If you want to be with Kotaru, go be with Kotaru. The only thing that will change between us is we won't be physical with each other anymore. We'll still do missions, we'll still be friends, and I'll still be gorging on your cooking whenever possible."

She went on with her frustration, and finally he simply grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her with a smile. "Yes, you do get to choose. This is your chance to choose. With me, the most romance you'll get is what you got from me that night at the party. With Kotaru... I can't say. I'm not him. You know him better than I do. Those are your choices... and they are your choices." He'd take a moment to run a finger through her hair, smiling almost sadly at her as he did so.

"Is that more clear?"

[Willoria]

As Jinsai proceeded to call her dense Ume couldn't help crossing her arms again and frowning up at him, effectively pouting at him. She didn't stop him from kissing her on the forehead however. As he went on to explain things more plainly, her expression shifted a bit though and her crossed arms relaxed slightly as she stared at him. She still looked confused, but more incredulous than anything. "I... you mean if we stopped being intimate, you wouldn't abandon me?" She caught herself almost crying again as she realized what he was trying to tell her. Her experience with relationships was pretty much limited to what had happened in the past with Kotaru and Tatsuo, leaving her thinking that ending things with Jinsai would mean losing him as a friend as well.

And yet as she realized that, she wasn't sure what she wanted. She didn't want to make a choice. 'But if I actually want Kotaru, that isn't how it works. I don't get to just have everything.'

Ume slipped out of Jinsai's hands and moved back to the couch to sit down heavily, resting her head in her hands as she finally thought about it. "He asked me why I thought I couldn't give him what he wanted. He asked what I thought he wanted. He asked me if I was over him." Ume took a deep breath and shook her head. "Every answer I gave him just made him think I was leading him on or rejecting him... I never even asked myself what I wanted... I never even told him what I wanted. I just told him that to be with me he'd have to share me, knowing he'd never be able to."

"Even if I chose him now... I've already rejected him again as far as he's concerned. Kotaru isn't a forgiving type, life among the Akari has damaged him more than it ever did me. His trust his far more broken than mine ever was... not sure I could fix this no matter how hard I try." Ume looked up at Jinsai almost hesitantly. "That's why I was drinking... I swore to myself I'd never hurt him like this again, because I swear it kills me to see him hurt like that..."

[TyDie]

It almost felt like Jinsai was explaining the obvious to a child, but given the woman's history with men and of course her young age, perhaps it wasn't that odd. "No, of course I wouldn't abandon you. It's telling of your past that you would jump to that conclusion, to be honest." He chuckled a little and ran his hand across her face, wiping away a tear from her eye as he did so. "You don't have to worry about me, Ume. I'm 40 years old, I've loved and lost and everything in between. I won't hide my disappointment, but I understand. Hell, I think I know your brain better than you do right now." With another chuckle, he'd give the girl another kiss on the forehead before speaking again.

"I know what you want. And if you want it, you can't wallow at the bottom of a bottle."

He'd finally take a step back from her, taking his hands off of her shoulder and face but letting them rest as his side as he smiled at her. "Nothing is beyond repair, but it might not be easy. You have to prove to him that you want this... and to yourself. So, let's start now." Jinsai would finally cross his arms, and his smile was replaced by a serious look.

"Akari, Ume... What do you want?"

[Willoria]

Ume shifted to sit in the corner of the couch, pulling her legs up to tuck them under herself as she listened to Jinsai. She couldn't help giving him a small smile as she realized what he was telling her. That if she chose to give Kotaru a chance rather than continuing things with him beyond a friendship, he wouldn't hold it against her, and he wouldn't abandon her either. She wouldn't lose her friend after all. It was a great comfort, even if she did still feel guilt at the idea of losing a chance with him. Though for the first time a thought crossed her mind. 'How much of a chance is it? Are my feelings for Kotaru stronger?' She was starting to feel like her thoughts were going in circles over the entire issue.

At least until Jin asked her his question point blank.

She stopped and looked at him a moment before looking down at the ground as she thought about it. As soon as she thought it over, she remembered the way Kotaru had been there for her every time things had started to go wrong in her life. Rather than her mind fixating on the way she'd walked away from him each time though, she instead focused simply on the fact that he was there.

She sighed heavily again. "The happiest I ever felt was with him." she said quietly. "Maybe it sounds stupid but... I think I loved him more than I even ever loved Tatsuo... but I'm terrified that if he's with him it's just going to be more pain for him. And yet... what I want, is him." She finally looked up at Jinsai and smiled almost sadly. "I'm sorry, Jin." she said quietly. "It's probably too late but... I think I need to try..."

[TyDie]

Jinsai decided to sit on the couch now, on the opposite side as Ume, while he watched her mind go over what he just asked her. It took her a while to really get to it, but when she finally did, he smiled at her. "There it is." His smug grin was clear on his face as he crossed his arms and chuckled at her for finally being honest with herself. "If you need to try, then try. Worst case scenario, at least you don't have to live life wondering what could have been."

He rose from the couch and nodded to her a moment, grabbing the glass that he had left on her table, moving towards the kitchen before turning to face the woman again. "Now, I think I'll get you another glass of water and take my leave. I just wanted to make sure you were okay... After our talk, I think you'll do just fine."

[Willoria]

Ume was more than a little surprised that he was just smiling at her through the entire conversation. 'The idea that I want to choose someone else over him doesn't even bother him at all...' She wasn't sure if that bothered her more or less, but as he picked up her glass from the table and went into the kitchen she turned her attention back to the floor as she moved to sit normally again with her feet on the floor and her elbows on her knees. She simply stared at the floor for several moments as she tried to process what they had just talked about, and didn't even hear Masako come back into the house. The other woman walked right past her and back into Ume's bedroom, picking up the empty sake bottles to start picking things up and cleaning while Ume wrestled with important questions.

'How the hell do I fix this?'

'Do I even deserve to?'

As the latter came to mind however she remembered something Kota had asked of her. "Could you just - for once in your life could you give me the chance to have a little input on what's going on with you, especially when it involves me?" His words ran through her mind and she smirked to herself.

'Fine Kota... the second question is up to you then...' she thought to herself.