A Future Unknown

[Yura]

“Oh for fucks sake.” Mitsuo mumbled to himself. He had been tossing and turning all night while Misato slept soundly beside him. His shoulder was aching, an unfortunate reminder of his injury during the great war, and that was enough to keep him awake for the last several hours. It was cold moonless winter night and the fire cracking in the fire place at the other end of the room provided the only light and plenty of warmth for the couple.

Giving up on trying to sleep, Mitsuo got out of bed for fear that his constant tossing would eventually wake his sleeping wife. Making his way down the hall, he stopped at the door of his daughter’s room, slowly cracking it open and poking his head in to check on her. He could see her sleeping form in the dim light of the nightlight that he had crafted for her, her blankets thrown all about in what he could only imagine had been a wild night's sleep. Shaking his head and laughing silently to himself, he walked fully into the room and grabbed the blankets that had fallen to the floor, gently placing them back upon Harue before giving her a soft kiss on the head and taking a seat in the arm chair at the end of her bed. It had been nearly a year since the great war and he was grateful every day that he had survived it. The village had suffered losses in both lives and territory, but surviving had allowed him the opportunity to experience arguably the most rewarding and fulfilling period of his life. He had a family now, a wife that he adored that he had married against the wishes of both of their clans and a daughter born in the midst of war bringing joy in a time of despair. Not a single moment his entire life had been as great as the birth of his child, a bond of love and protection formed in a single moment that was so strong that he would go to war again with the world itself if it meant keeping her safe.

Mitsuo felt a gentle hand fall upon his shoulder and instinctively he reached up and placed his own hand over it. Evidently, his efforts to avoid waking his wife had been in vain. "Couldn't sleep," he said softly, "I was just checking on her before coming back to bed." He felt Misato's hand move to the other shoulder as her arms wrapped around him to give him a hug from behind.

"Take all the time you need." she replied before giving him a light kiss on the cheek and leaving the room. Mitsuo remained seated where he was for a few moments longer before he too got up and exited the room, gently closing the door behind him. Standing in the hallway, he initially began turning back towards his bedroom when he noticed the dull glow of light at the other end of the hallway, realizing as he moved closer that the light was coming from the kitchen.

"Making a late night snack are we?" Mitsuo said as he entered the room, squinting against the light.

"Well, I figured we were both up at this point so a cup of tea couldn't hurt." Misato replied as she poured steaming water from the kettle into a pair of glasses on the table, sliding one towards Mitsuo as she took a seat. "So, talk."

"About what?" Mitsuo replied, taking his own seat and pulling the warm mug closer.

"Well, normally we'd both be passed out right now in that big bed of ours with me wrapped up in your arms, but since we are currently sitting at the kitchen table in the middle of the night, I'd have to guess that something is bothering you so. Talk."

Damn. Why did she have to know him so well? "Fine," he finally said with a sigh, "I've just felt so conflicted lately, ever since the war ended, and honestly I'm a bit lost as to the next path that I should be taking. I mean, I've spent the last 12 years fighting for this country, and I'm proud of that, even climbing the ranks and becoming one of the highest ranked shinobi in Iwa alongside Tats and Kota before fighting in a full scale war for the sake of our people. And in that same amount of time, I managed to open and maintain my own business, I fell in love, got married AGAINST the wishes of two clans, and became a father in the midst of war. That's a lot. A real lot. And I'm having trouble reconciling the fact that my duties as a shinobi are in stark contrast with the fact that I'm a father and husband now. I missed so much Harue's early years fighting in the war, time that I'm never going to get back, and being a shinobi means that I'll continue to be away for long stretches of time if I don't get killed on one of those missions." Mitsuo could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the nature of the topic getting him worked up.

"When I was younger, the risks of the job felt worth it because I was only risking myself, but now…now it feels like the stakes are so much higher. If something were to happen to me, who would be there for you and Harue? Don't get me wrong, I know you are more than capable of providing it's just…" He trailed off, dropping his face into his hands. He was rambling and he knew it, but couldn't keep his mind from going around in circles. "I guess I just feel as though I am at a crossroads and I'm not sure which path to take. On one hand, it feels selfish to keep putting myself in danger knowing that I have a family at home that relies on me, but on the other it feels equally selfish to withhold my skills from the village when they could potentially save a life." The room was silent for a while as they each took sips from their mugs. "Sorry, I know that was a lot." he said finally.

"You don't need to apologize." Misato replied, "I just wish I had known that all of this was weighing on you all this time."

"I didn't want to burden you with it, honestly."

"I'm you're wife, Mitsuo. You are supposed to burden me with things like this. I willfully signed up to be burdened with things like this." Misato had that determined look on her face, before it faded into a gentle expression and she let out a sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scold you, I just don't want you to think that you have to face things alone because I love you." She reached out and grabbed hold of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Do you think you'd be happy if you gave up being a shinobi?" Misato asked.

"I think I could be." Mitsuo replied, "I mean don't get me wrong, it's rewarding to know that I am helping the people of this country and keeping them safe, but if I retired now I could put more effort into the store and my forge and maybe grow that into something that could sustain us as well."

"I'll admit, it would be nice to have you home more often, and I think Harue would love having you around more too. She'd even probably want to help her papa at the forge." Misato said with a little laugh at the end.

"Yeah, she probably would." He said with a chuckle, "I don't know, part of me would feel guilty if I retired now considering the state that the country is in. Especially considering how hard Tats and Kota are working to turn things around and rebuild. I can't just leave them to handle all of the fallout."

"Babe, you almost died during the war. We both did. A lot of people actually did. You have nothing to prove to Tatsuo or Kota or anyone else, nor do I think that either of them would be upset with you for doing what you feel it right for you. Them continuing to fight doesn't mean that you have to." Misato reached across the table and grabbed Mitsuo's hand. "That being said, if you choose to continue being a shinobi, I will support you in that choice. When I decided to marry you, I did so knowing that one of us may not live to see old age, whether that was due to a mission gone wrong or because the Akari finally couldn't stand our marriage and came after us. If something were to happen to one or both of us, I am sure that both Tatsuo and Kota would make sure that Harue was taken care of."

"I suppose you've got a point." Mitsuo replied, "Would you really be okay with it? Even if it took me away from you? Possibly forever?"

"Well obviously I wouldn't be okay with it if you died, but I would at least accept that you died doing something important and I could accept that you felt like you did what needed to be done. I wouldn't curse you, I wouldn't hate you, nothing like that. And I'd make sure Harue knew how amazing her dad was."

Mitsuo smiled at that. "Well, hopefully it never comes to that." He said as he got up out of his chair and pulled Misato out over hers, lifting her up into a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "God I'm so happy I married you."

"You better be." She replied. "Maybe you should talk to Tatsuo about this." Misato suggested "Maybe there's a way that you can continue to serve the village without having to take on the more dangerous missions. The village and this country are still recovering from war and you have skills and a business that can directly help those efforts. So maybe the two of you can figure out a way to make it work.”

“Maybe.” He agreed. He wasn’t sure how Tatsuo would feel with him taking a less active role, but he couldn’t imagine that his best friend and now brother in law would have that much of a problem with it. “We’ve really grown up, huh?”

“We certainly have come a long way from having a drunken water balloon fight in my parents' house while they are away.” Misato replied with a chuckle. By now the faintest light of the sunrise was starting to creep over the mountains. “I think we should head back to bed.”

“Probably, but weirdly I'm not that tired.”

“Neither am I.” Misato replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Well maybe we ca-“ It took him a minute but Mitsuo soon realized what she was implying. “Ooohh. Well, I guess we should head to bed then.” He said with a wide smile, sweeping his wife off her feet and carrying her down the hall.

[End]