[Graded]Mourning Changes

[Willoria]

Izumi was walking through the market, yet again tired of being stuck at home and by herself, her staff tapping along the pavement as she walked and her blindfold on. She wore her dark green dress, a red sash tied around her waist and sandals on her feet. It was a beautiful day, though she could only partially see it through her blindfold as she walked. But she could feel the sun on her skin, and she’d even left her hair undone and down today.

She paused at a stand where a woman claimed to be selling precious stones and jewelry. Izumi let her staff rest in the crook of her elbow as she held out a hand and the woman placed a single pearl in her palm, bringing a smile to her face as she felt it against her skin. The woman here was often kind to the girl she thought was blind, letting her feel each stone and then telling her what they were, it wasn’t long before she could name them.

”Texture is either a pearl or an opal.” Izumi said with a smile, legitimately guessing as she liked to keep this game as pure as possible without peaking. ”It feels very round, so I’m going to say pearl.” she added.

The woman laughed and clapped her hands together. ”That is right!” she cooed. ”Very correct, Izumi-chan!”

[Nafan~]

Senji plodded along through the market district in time with the song that played in his head. Humming as he went, he half walked half skipped his way past stall after stall. His bright blue eyes sparkled with unabated joy as he peered at the various works on display; tools from a smithy, various fruits from a grocer and seven different textures of paper just to name a few. Saturday was his favourite day, since that was when the markets were at their largest, unfortunately it also meant they were most crowded on that day also. While he didn't necessarily hate crowds, he'd still rather not be stuck in a huge group of people.

As he made his way through the market, he spotted a familiar figure. He stopped in the middle of the street and stared for a bit, trying to place the female that he was looking at. It had been quite a while since he had seen her, but now he was grinning from ear to ear. His first 'date', Ishiguro Izumi was standing in the middle of the street. Izumi-chaan~ Senji shouted before dashing down the street and jumping at the older girl, arms wide for a hug.

[Willoria]

Izumi was grinning as she handed the pearl back to the woman, and just in time too. She heard the shout and tilted her head to the side, not actually turning to face him. And so when he suddenly jumped for a hug, Izumi yelped and started to fall, clinging to her staff for dear life as a fellow customer managed to get behind her and stop her fall. "Thank you." she whispered to the man who merely grunted in response as he helped Izumi right herself.

Once she was standing right, staff in her right hand, Izumi reached out and managed to find Senji's shoulder, before moving her hand to touch him under the chin and then the side of the face. "Senji?" she inquired, managing a smile as she guessed, and her eyes were closed behind the cloth blindfold as, as usual, she tried to keep her guesses unbiased and without any form of cheating. "How are you doing?" she asked him, completely oblivious to the shock she might present to the boy given her newfound 'blindness'.

[Nafan~]

In typical whimsical style, Senji apologized happily to the man that helped Izumi. "I didn't expect you to get knocked over so easy, sorry. he extended to the older girl herself. "I'm well. I've made a few friends and I've done a lot of work."

Senji let go of Izumi and plopped down to the ground in total and utter confusion. He looked up at the girl's blindfold and tilted his head, one eyebrow raised higher than the other. He assumed it was for some kind of weird hearing training, but his curiosity got the better of him and he simply had to ask. "Izumi-chan, what's this for?" he asked while standing on the tips of his toes to reach the blindfold. It didn't even enter the poor child's head that there was a possibility that she could be injured, or that she had gone blind. Senji was in for a terribly rude shock.

[Willoria]

Izumi sighed sadly, normally she would find the naive demeanor of the boy rather adorable but right now it was more a sad thing to hear. He really had no idea. "I..." Izumi paused as she leaned on her staff and thought it over a moment before answering. "Well Senji, it's to keep from startling people." she began slowly, still trying to figure out how to say this without startling him or scaring him.

But really she couldn't sugar coat it could she?

"There was an incident, Senji... and I was badly hurt." she told him. "Because of the damage caused, because they couldn't get to me in time, the medics were unable to heal me entirely and as a result I'm blind. I'm no longer a shinobi, I haven't been for a decent amount of time." she added, almost holding her breath as she waited for his response.

[Nafan~]

Senji had to take a step back and place his hand on the woman's table of wares behind him. Using his arm as support, he looked at Izumi in total shock. The child magician slowly shook his head from side to side, mouth wide, eyes filled with horror. Then he blinked and he seemed to lose most of his panic. He seemed mildly nervous as he managed to stammer, "Oh no, this.. this is some kind of prank isn't it? Like with the water." he claimed, wishing, begging, pleading for it to be true, "You're trying to make fun of me again.. Please tell me you're trying to make fun of me again.."

Senji's heart pounded heavily in his chest. Long, slow beats which rang in his ears each and every time it pumped. Time seemed to stretch between each beat, every moment a minute of pain and each second an hour of grief. His eyes threatened at tears as he stared pleadingly up at Izumi, wanting nothing more in this moment than for her to see him. Than for her to pull down the blindfold and reveal that he really was correct and this was a mean, cruel joke. He couldn't bare to see her hurt like this. Permanently scarred and disfigured, forever maimed and un-whole. It would be worlds better if she were lying to him, so his young mind made it so. It forced him into denial in a last ditch attempt to keep him together.

[Willoria]

It took everything Izumi had to keep her head still, to not look directly at the boy as he begged and pleaded, and most of all to not 'see' how broken he was by the revelation. It was probably one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. 'Damn you, Banri.' It was one of those moments that she knew it wasn't the Bannin's fault, he had recruited her but Izumi had made the choice to stay.

Still, it was nice to feel like this could be someone else's fault. It made it easier for her.

She moved carefully to the edge of the stand and rest a hand on it. "It's no prank, Senji. I wish like hell it was, but it isn't." she told him, jerking her head in the direction of the woman at the stand. "Ask her, or the other vendors. Many of them have been helping me learn how to deal without my sight, how to see with my hands or my nose instead."

The woman at the stand nodded in affirmation but didn't speak up, even she herself was having difficulty watching the scene unfold before her.

[Nafan~]

Senji had to take a moment when Izumi affirmed what he had feared. He placed his free hand on his chest and his eyes snapped shut as he tried to process all the feelings of hurt and loss he felt for his friend. To think that such unbearable harm could befall her, when she was meant to be so strong. Fear, anxiety, sympathy, sadness, grief, all hit him at once and he had little strength left to do anything but feel for her. When he could bare to open his eyes, the older girl could plainly see their glossy sheen and redness as tears cascaded down his face in a million different trails.

Senji stepped forward and gently reached up to gingerly touch the bridge of Izumi's nose, right between her eyes. "Izumi-chan.." was all he could manage past the distress. He stood there for a while more, unsure of what to do. All he could do was stare, shock and emotion totally consuming the boy for a lot longer than seemed appropriate. Then his arm dropped. "Is there really nothing they can do?" he asked softly, reaching only half his usual volume.

[Willoria]

Izumi sighed as she rest a hand on the boy's shoulder. "No, not so far." she told Senji, not really sure why she didn't just say 'no'. In the back of her mind she figured it probably had to be because some part of her hoped she wouldn't have to fake being blind the rest of her life. Maybe some day she'd be able to just be herself.

Izumi hadn't expected it to be so hard to tell Senji what had happened, or to keep up this farce around him. "You know when I told my family they didn't seem to care, I think they were relieved that I wouldn't be a shinobi anymore." she remarked, her hand feeling around before she found a nearby bench to sit on. "They never did like the fact that I was a shinobi... and most people I meet seem to think this makes me a burden, only stable person really has been my boyfriend." she said with a sigh, not sure exactly why she was telling Senji all the extra details... though she had to admit, it felt good to tell someone at least.

[Nafan~]

Senji immediately blurted out, "You could never be a burden!" without thinking, as he watched her find her way into a chair. Tears continued to fall down his cheeks as he watched her shuffle slowly to find it, feeling with her hands.

Experimentally, he shut his eyes. He peered into the darkness, knowing that was all that Izumi could see. With intense concentration he looked into the abyss before him, seeing nothing. The imaginary swirls in the black spiralled into deeper darkness, as he tried to make sense of the scene. Within him his sadness began to fade. His sympathy was still strong, but the sadness could not hold out any longer. It couldn't stand in the way of the extreme fury that bubbled up from within him. How dare they do something like this? To Izumi, to anyone from his village. This was a crime beyond forgiveness. To steal someone's livelihood, to kill their self-confidence and destroy their life. It could very quickly become an existence worse than death.

Senji had to turn away from Izumi for a moment, regardless of the fact that she couldn't see him anyway. His face was blacker than the darkness beneath his eyelids. The boy was dangerously furious. He took a few deep breaths to try and measure himself, before turning half back to the older girl. "Tell those.. people that think you're a burden that they have no reason to worry. I'll cure you myself, if you give me some time." he said plainly, having to stop before he insulted those pathetic existences that devalued his friend because of her injury, "And then I will find every person that had even a small part in hurting you. I will find them, and I will show them what a grave mistake they've made. What little time they have left after that will be filled with such anguish that they'll offer you their own eyes a hundred times over to make it stop." He finished, unable to bottle his rage any further.

[Willoria]

Izumi felt tears running down the side of her face. She had never imagined that Senji might take this news so hard, of anyone she knew so far, no one had taken it this hard. She reached out for him, managing to get a hold of his elbow to try and pull him to her before she hugged her. "Senji... it's okay..." she told him quietly, silently hating herself for this facade, and silently hoping he'd never find out that this was all a facade in the first place, she could only imagine how much he'd hate her for lying to him, no matter the reason why.

"I'm adjusting." she told him. "Everything will be alright, and hey, I've started becoming a better cook because of it." she added, trying to make light of the situation and bring back the happy Senji she was used to.

[Nafan~]

He turned then. While she tried to console him. All it did was make him feel like scum. He moved to her side and sat, placing his hand on her shoulder. "No, Izumi. It is definitely not all right. Nothing about this is right. I'm not giving up on you, or your eyes. I promise" he said, with ultimate conviction.

The mere thought of people throwing her away as if she were useless so quickly after the incident made him just as sick as her blindness itself. How could she have only a single person remaining beside her after something like this? It was unthinkable to the young boy. "Oh, listen to me. Here I am getting all upset when I should be focussing on supporting you. I'll do anything I can to help you out, you understand? If you ever need me just ask someone to fetch me. Promise, kay?" he said with less of the dark undertones from before.

[Willoria]

”Alright, Senji.” she replied quietly, wishing she didn’t have to keep up this ruse. It was the first time she’d had to face someone in almost literal pain over her condition. Tokaido knew the truth, her family didn’t care, it hit her fairly hard to see Senji so torn up about it. She had questioned her decision to join STRATOS several times since joining, mostly because it had become clear that Tokaido didn’t enjoy it.

Yet she had joined in the hopes to make a name for herself, to one day meet her father again.

Was it really worth this though? In the moment she couldn’t help but think it wasn’t, she thought perhaps it was time to give up on that thought. ”You know, they assign me a regular caretaker, he helps me run errands and stuff, when I don’t escape him on days like today. When he’s gone they hire someone as a mission for them… want me to just get in touch with you next time?” she asked him, trying to smile at the boy.

Every part of her wanted to reach up and rip the blindfold away, to move her eyes and show him the truth, just to spare him the hurt.

[Nafan~]

"Sure I do!" Senji beamed at her, now trying obviously far too hard to cheer her up. He tilted his head and his eyes were almost closed he was grinning so hard. The boy magician couldn't hurt her any more than she had already been wounded by these foul enemies of the state which had harmed her. Common bastards that had blinded one of his closest companions, he would never let them get away with it. But neither was he going to leave her in such a state. "That way I can work on getting you all fixed up!" he mused, genuinely sounding at least a little optimistic.

His knowledge of medicine was rudimentary at best, but he knew he could do better. If he learned some more, and really studied hard, he was sure he could fix anything they could have done to her eyes with a sword. The power of his magic wasn't to be underestimated, which those villains will learn soon enough! Senji thought as his right hand bunched into a fist momentarily. He chided himself for letting his frustration show again, and forced his hand to relax in front of Izumi. It wouldn't do to upset her, it wouldn't be right after all she'd been through.

"Hey Izumi.. do you mind if I take a look? I need to see what I'm up against if I'm to make you better, so.." he asked after a slight pause. It was still not hesitant enough for normal social standards, but he was too young to understand that he was being really rude and inconsiderate.

[Willoria]

Izumi was more than a little happy to hear Senji cheer up so much at her simple statements. He seemed so happy at the thought of helping her out it honestly brought a grin to the woman’s lips. She stood and stretched a moment, idly wondering if she shouldn’t head home now and then Senji asked his question. The Ishiguro paused a moment, resisting the urge to just pull up her blindfold and show him she was fine. But Izumi’s eyes looked normal, she could explain that to the average person but if Senji went to talk to someone at the hospital they’d probably confirm blind eyes, even Ishiguro ones, change and often become dull. She wasn’t sure she could risk that.

”I…” But what could she really say? ”Not today, Senji.” she finally managed, telling herself she could tackle finding a new explanation another time. ”Honestly my eyes creep most people out and I don’t think I’m up for that right now… honestly I’m a little tired.” she added with a half hearted smile, hoping he wouldn’t realize that was half a lie. She was really tired but her eyes weren’t creepy in the least, except for maybe the scar.

”Would you be willing to help me walk home?” she asked him, hoping the question and thought of helping her would distract him from his request.

[Nafan~]

Senji nodded emphatically at Izumi's suggestion. "Of course! Anything you need! Anything at all! Just call me." he replied somewhat loudly, since he was embarrassed about his earlier question. He hadn't really expected her to refuse, but now he realised that he had been really rude for asking. Nervous, he rung his hands at having asked her such a stupid question, and hoped that she wasn't really angry with him even though she wasn't yelling.

He then stepped up off the bench and grabbed her hand, seeking to guide her onto her feet. "Let's go. We should get you home so you can rest, right?" he asked sheepishly, hoping that she would come along. He wanted to make everything all right for her, but he just didn't know how.

[Willoria]

Izumi took the offered hand and stood carefully, her staff resting on the ground beside her now as she stood and used it to help pull herself to her feet. She smiled as Senji asked about her needing rest and she nodded. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have snuck out like I did, I'm not supposed to go anywhere without my guide." she remarked with a bit of a chuckle and a slight blush, reaching back to scratch the back of her head.

She kept a hold of his hand after she stood, willing to let the boy guide her along towards home. "Honestly I'm pretty exhausted from the day. I think I'm ready to just lay on the couch and read... I've been learning to read braille so maybe I could take some time to do that instead of wandering about." she added, giving Senji's hand a light squeeze, feeling both grateful for his help and still feeling rather terrible for upsetting him so much with this ruse.

If anything it was feeding her desire to simply stop this madness and return to life as a typical shinobi.

[Nafan~]

Senji walked his friend slowly back to her home, careful to be considerate about her disability. He worried over her, her eyes and her lifestyle. He hoped that, above all things, she was okay.

As he walked, his mind spun with a myriad of ideas on how to restore her sight. But all of them were beyond his current abilities. In order to cure Izumi's blindness, he would have to become stronger. He would have to train, and learn medical procedures that were currently more advanced than he could hope to manage. He swore, at that moment, that he would learn to recreate an entire eyeball if that's what it took. He would never allow his friend to live the rest of her life in the darkness.

[End.]