Mommy Issues!

[TyDie]

It had been a day or so since Emi was invited to meet with the same Awai that taught her mother how to use the Light within her. The girl had simply returned to her room at the Natsuki residence, staying in their guest room and spending time with the Hokage's family. Of course, as they saw it, she was celebrating her mother with them and remembering fond memories of their time together. If there was one thing the girl had made clear to Fanho yesterday though, it was that she had no desire to remember her mother so fondly - She did it for the same of her friends in Konoha, who may as well be family to her. If she had things her way, she'd leave all of this behind her...

Now, in the still of the night with the moon hanging overhead, Emi walked through the streets of Konoha alone. The village was eerily silent, even for night time, the full moon providing enough light that Emi could walk even the darkest paths through the village without issue. "Stupid... I should just go home. I did what I came here to do, and all anyone wants to talk about here is her... At least at home I can ignore it easier..." She spoke to herself as she walked along the village streets, pausing at a small bridge over a stream through the village. The water reflected the moon beautifully, while the moon in turn reflected the sun.

It was all reflections, as if urging the young girl to reflect on herself... But she was blind to the message. She simply stared into the stream, a sigh escaping her lungs as she leaned against the railing of the bridge.

[Director]

Fanho silently walked along the rooftops with his hands stuck in his pockets. He had been silently watching over Emi since she stepped foot into the village. While they were high-profile guests, Fanho had requested to be given guardianship over Emi during her stay. Of course they had Suna emissaries and body guards, but they requested high profile security for them due to their relation of the past Hokage and the previous war, they had to take extra precautions. However it didn't seem like Emi needed security from enemies seeking to do her harm.

She needed saving, saving from herself, her family and her despair of being overshadowed. He had hoped their last conversation proved fruitful, gave her things to reflect on. Gave her the identity she craved to be recognized as. Not just Kiyori's child, but Emi Henrin her own person. Maybe we'll crack that hard shell tonight. Fanho watched from above as Emi came to a bridge over the village stream. His reflection coming into view of the water perhaps giving Emi a fraught in the night before he teleported perched on the railing behind Emi crunching into an apple loudly, before he pointed at the moon and then the stream.

"Out for a night stroll in the moonlight? Guess this is Emi, moon light walker, peaceful night enjoyer, and purveyor of night critters." The Awai held an apple behind his back before tossing one to the Suna Genin as he eased himself to a sitting position on the railing.

[TyDie]

As Emi stared into the gently rolling waters of the stream, a hint of movement caught her eye. In the reflection of the waters, a small silhouette obscured part of the moon as a figure stood on the roof. But as she looked up to the roof, there was nothing to be found - Whoever it was had simply vanished. Or were they even there to begin with? "What the..." She spoke in a tone of confusion, before a moment later she jumped slightly as she heard a loud crunch behind her. Whipping around to confront her stalker, she quickly realized who it was and let out a breath of relief, which was immediately replaced by a frustrated glare.

"I know you're a ninja, but you don't have to be so damn sneaky about it." A small huff puncuated her statement as she leaned with her back to the railing. He spoke and tossed her an apple, which she caught effortlessly before crossing her arms and staring off to the side, away from Fanho, as if avoiding his gaze. "It's just cooler out here than it is at the Hokage's house... I needed some air." She wasn't really trying to cover up her true feelings, or at least, she wasn't trying very hard. If he had surprised her that well, she figured he had probably overheard her, or maybe the guy could read minds or something. He seemed to know far too much for one so young, Bannin or otherwise.

"Thanks." She stated simply, gesturing to the apple in her hand before turning her head back to face him. "But one apple isn't going to magically make me talk about her." It was clear she thought Fanho intended on broaching the subject of Emi's late mother again. Whether she was right or not, clearly her paranoia drove her to be preemptive about her desire to avoid any mention of Kiyori. Whether Fanho would do so or not however was a different story...

[Director]

Fanho kicked his feet as he bobbed his head side to side listening to Emi speak. His head nodded along in understanding as he pursed his lips before smacking them to speak, "Sure, but this isn't about her right? Its about you." He took a bite out of his apple as his free hand rapped against his chin in rhythmic form. He cocked an eyebrow as if to challenge Emi. In reality this wasn't about Kiyori, she was gone, her era had passed, and now it was Emi's time. It was Emi's feelings of neglect and being overshadowed. It was Emi's weapon at the end of this tunnel. Kiyori was a small facet of it, but hardly the protagonist of this story. Simply a side character as Fanho was too, to help Emi reach some enlightenment.

"I mean no offense, but she's gone. Its just you now. Your feelings, your desires, your joys, your fears, you and your whole existence right?" He'd give a brief pause to let the statement stew in Emi's steaming brain. Let it marinate in that noggin that was nogging. "I mean you're what, like five years old? You still got a whole life ahead of you to make of it what you will."

"Plenty of time to talk out your feelings, yell at a pond at midnight, eat apples on a bridge with your buddy ol' pal Fanho, but plenty of time to think about who you'll be as a person." He'd toss a pebble to ding her in the head with, just enough to let her know he'd still be here to pester her. He'd flub his lips at whatever disapproval look she'd throw his way as he relaxed his position to sag his shoulders. "Either way, I'm not gonna make you talk about it. I'm just here to watch over you and make sure you don't fall in. Only you can decide when you wanna talk about your feelings about the situation you are in. You know?"

Maybe he'd get it through to her, maybe she'd take it the wrong way. The only real way to lose would be to not play. Fanho only hoped he stressed the right words to hint at what conclusion he wanted to draw her mind to. After all, if she didn't come up with it herself, then she'd never want to actually talk about it. Every word he said was true, only she could decide when to talk about it. Forcing people to talk were for bad people who did bad things that needed to have their bad future things revealed. Which a twelve year old Suna Genin agonizing and bemoaning her sense of identity during the loss of her mother didn't necessarily fit that category, although maybe to some it would? Odd people those would be.

[TyDie]

The young Henrin tilted her head curiously as the Awai made clear that he wasn't going to prod her into talking about Kiyori. He then proceeded to prod her about herself, and her feelings, and her interests, and her everything... Her story. Not Kiyori's. And what was that story so far, hm? What was it going to be? What did she want it to be? Her thoughts drifted along, like a leaf on the stream they stood over, while her thoughts were momentarily interrupted by a stray pebble against the side of her head. "Ow!" Emi said with a grumble, rubbing the side of her head with her free hand before rolling her eyes.

"When I decide, huh?" Emi could feel a ball of anger welling up inside her again, like before when she went off on Fanho about her mother and left... But it quickly took a left turn into sadness as she let out a deep breath and turned her back to Fanho, leaning on the bridge's railing as she looked down into the gentle flow below. "You know the Henrin have a perfect photographic memory, right Fanho?" She stated it as a fact, she figured by know Konoha knew all too well the capabilities of the village's allies in the sandy desert, including their clans.

"And despite that... I can count on one hand the amount of decisions I've made for myself." A tear streaked it's way down her face, dropping into the water below and creating a small ripple that expanded out over the currents. "Almost every 'decision' I've made was in response to her, in some way. Why did I become a shinobi? To make my own mark in the world, sure, but only because she made hers first. Why did I come to Konoha? Because of some stupid last wish she had for me to fulfill. My career, my name, my life will always have her name hanging over it. She might be gone, you're right... But so what? It just means that I'll never be able to show her how much better than her I am. How much stronger, how much faster, how much more successful I am as a shinobi, and as a parent, and as a friend!"

Her hand still held the apple Fanho had thrown her, and with a small sob she dropped the apple into the water, watching the stream carry it away. She lifted an arm up to wipe her face, to try and stop the tears from falling. "I'll always be the daughter of Kiyori Henrin, the twelfth Kazekage. Nothing I do can change that. And after dropping that burden on my shoulders, what does she do? She dies." Her shoulders bobbed lightly with quiet sobs, a sniffle breaking the silence after a few seconds. "It isn't fair... You can't surpass a memory, Fanho."

[Director]

phpBB [video] He watched as the Henrin wrestled with her emotions. Ready to boil over and get angry, yell, frustrated at the world, and by extension Fanho as he cleverly prodded further. Yet she was able to reign it in, instead letting what was eating her up flow truthfully. Like a monsoon, her feelings trickled out a little at first drizzling tidbits before heaven's floodgates opened to let it rain. He'd let her rain flow freely a bit before his long legs dropped to the bridge and he walked over crouching next to Emi gently patting and rubbing her back. A reminder that she wasn't alone.

"Are you sure it wasn't you making those decisions? Ask yourself, you could have said no at any point. You could've said no to being a shinobi, you could've decided not to come here. In-fact you can still make a decision now, you could quit being a shinobi, you could leave Konoha the next morning. But you didn't decide that. You did make a decision, and even if it was to honor your mom, you did make the decision ultimately." The Awai chuckled as Emi missed the forest for the trees. Seeing her life as one big dedication to her mother's memory, but in-fact every decision from the trim to the decor of her life was made by Emi. She ultimately made the decision, why shy away from it, excuse it. What was she really after? Chasing her mother's memory feeling abandoned by her? It would be hard on anyone at her age to feel anything but anger towards their parents for leaving them at such a young age.

"I'd like to think even in death people aren't really gone. They're with us forever and always. Watching over us, praying for our safety, our success, our future, and for us as individuals. They're with us for our successes and our failures. But no matter what they pray for us." His thoughts turned to his own parents, gone at a young age due to natural causes, but he still believed no matter what they were there every step of the way. Pushing him forward, praying for him, and sometimes he'd like to credit some of his genius to his parents at times.

The Awai sat cross legged as his hand gently rubbed Emi's back to soothe her sobbing. His other hand placed the apple in his lap as he held his palm out and teleported Emi's lost apple back to his hand. A little damp but with a quick flick of the wrist it was now dried.

"I won't sugar coat it, you didn't start out with a fair shake. You're right its quite a burden. Yet you've come this far, and you've proved to a Bannin and future Hokage whomst Emi Henrin is. She may forever and always be a daughter of Kiyori Henrin, but she's proven herself more than that. A horticulturalist, tea lover, giver of free-time to those who are in need, and young gifted user of Kuuton."

He calmly breathed as he took his next verbal gamble. To top off his already lengthening spiel, he'd dig a bit deeper. Maybe he'd hit a nerve, maybe he had already hit a nerve, but regardless if he stopped now he may not really allow Emi to get through her own emotions. The biggest key was getting her to realize that through her own actions she was already being her own person. It didn't matter whether people acknowledged that so long as she acknowledged it herself. She'd always be Kiyori Henrin's daughter, but that in of itself was a title of her individual person. At the end of the day no matter when she woke up, she didn't awaken as Kiyori, she awoke as Emi. That much he gambled to help her self realize.

"I have a strong feeling she'd be proud of who you've become. Don't take this the wrong way, but despite my feelings that those gone are never truly gone. They're not changing anything either. Instead they have to trust the future to those after them. So if you're afraid you're only doing these things because of your mom, then don't you think you're not the one being true to yourself? After all, if your mom felt comfortable to pass on and leave you the torch to grow into your own person, make your own decisions, and to prove how successful you truly are and will be. Don't you think its only right for you to feel proud and assured of your decisions?" A brief respite could be found in his lengthy monologue, but only short before he continued. He needed her to listen to all of it. Else he feared it wouldn't stick as well.

"After all, you made the decisions. You decided to become a shinobi, you decided to come to Konoha, and you can make a decision right now to sit here and listen to my spiel or get up and walk away. So tell me what will you decide Emi?"

[TyDie]

She didn't react to the hand on her back, not physically anyway, her head not moving from the disturbed waters beneath the bridge. The shimmering reflection of the moon overhead, the perfect image of the night, was distorted and broken by her sorrows. Fanho's words entered her ears, but their meaning would take a while to sink in... She was just so angry. So blinded by an unjust world that robbed her of the chance to prove herself to the one person who's shadow she would always live within, that she couldn't see that she had been living her own life all along.

"Yuumagure is the same way." Emi said, her voice regaining it's composure for a moment as she took a deep, steadying breath. "When we die, our bodies are cremated and scattered to the winds as the morning sun rises. As the rays of Her Light bathe the ashes, the warmth and winds raise them into the sky to become one with Her Light once again. Every day the sun rises, those who have passed look down on us and embrace us alongside Her Light." The scriptures were clear enough, and rang true to Fanho's beliefs, though they were a touch more specific than his nebulous thoughts on the subject.

"But Kiyori didn't get that funeral rite... for reasons I can't say. Clan secrets." It was one of the better kept secrets of the Henrin Family that their leaders oftentimes immortalized their memories by giving their lives to become statues of silver. And an even better kept secret was that Kiyori, despite never heading the clan itself, was granted that honor. On the one hand the woman's legacy will forever aid her people moving forward, her unmatched intellect and sagely memories will better the family for generations to come. But it also means, in the eyes of Yuumagure, that she was denied her return to the Light. And not only that... She chose that fate. As honorable as it was, and as useful as her memories will be, the fact remains that the Twelfth Kazekage commit ritual suicide. "Just another way she showed the world how great and selfless she was..."

Her emotions were strained as it was, but even she couldn't have foreseen how much that one statement would set her off... About her mother being comfortable passing the torch to Emi. She had taken the apple back from Fanho by now, holding it in her hand as the red of it's skin shined slightly in the moonlight. Her eyes were fixated on it as the man's words sank in, and slowly her hand began to tighten around it. "...She was comfortable? She trusted me? What about MY comfort!? Huh!? What about ME!?" In a fit of rage she chucked the apple as hard as she could towards the moon, as if it was a target she might actually hit. With all of her pent up rage fueling her, she might have actually done it...

"It's all about her! How she feels, what she thinks! She never asked me if I wanted this! She never told me she was planning it to be this way! She never... she never..." She trailed off as her lip quivered, slamming her fist into the railing of the bridge. "...She never even said goodbye..." And with that, the girl began to fall apart, completely bawling as she slumped to her knees.

[Director]

Fanho listened as Emi spoke of Suna's traditions. They held a more religious ritualistic belief in regards to the sun. While Suna used to be known for its more hard line religious stance, it had at least broadened its horizons with opening some aspects of the culture and getting rid of other belief social persecution. Yet it seems like it still rubbed off on all Suna shinobi that resided within. It was hard to shake off centuries of tradition. That much would've embedded itself in the culture even if they were non-practicing.

He listened intently as Emi revealed not the true nature of the Henrin practice, but it was one that was seen as a selfless act but in reality was it really as it seemed so selfless? As his thoughts had a brief moment of respite to think he slumped his shoulders as if to duck and not be a target of Emi's rage as he watched her sling the apple towards the largest target in the area. He watched as the apple sailed through the air landing in a bush. He reached out and with a brief moment of chakra the apple appeared before him again. He let Emi get her emotions out, to yell, to cry, as his hand just gently returned back to its place rubbing her on the back.

Her emotions had boiled over. His controversial words had dug deep and hit a spot he had tried to avoid. What would seem like a second, Fanho's mind processed a whole minute. He ran through the different outcomes in his head, calculated probabilities of what he'd say would make her react in what way, but instead he decided for the next few minutes to let her get it all out. Sob for a bit in silence with Fanho sitting beside her.

He nodded along as he watched the water gently flow downward, a tear here or there rippling across. Instead of over thinking, analyzing what he would say, or how he would proceed. He just took an extra minute to let the calm night fill the air instead of his words. A quiet sob as he waited for emotions to tame slightly. She was right, it was an unfair hand dealt to her. The one person most effected by this decision wasn't consulted or seemed to be considered.

"You are right. It is unfair. You who'd be effected the most wasn't consulted in the slightest. Doesn't seem like she left you with much rhyme or reason, huh?"

He let another pause of respite after he affirmed her feelings. From what it sounded like if she had confided into others it seemed like maybe it always turned into the same mistake that Fanho almost stumbled into. Trying to get her to see her mother's perspective without a care for her own. Only saved by the fact Emi decided to break down on the spot rather than save strength and run away, which would've been fair as well. His hand just quietly patting her back as a reminder he was there, but a gentle reminder he would listen. Let her air out her grievances rather than chase them off as angry child syndrome.

"So what do we do now Emi? Where do we go from here? You have endless possibilities to do what you want, be who you want? You can toss this whole weapon idea from your mom if you really wanted to. Stick it to her here and say, 'I don't want the sword.' But you have to promise me one thing. You stay true to yourself, and don't tell me what you think I want to hear. I need you to tell me what you want." Fanho gently placed the apple before Emi, giving it to her as an olive branch to make a decision for herself by herself. No more pep-talks, no more decisions or haggling from others. A choice made completely by her. Feelings affirmed, feelings challenged, she had a chance to go through the ringer of emotions, but now would be when she could make that decision for herself that she craved.

"What next, Emi Henrin?"

[TyDie]

The oldest child of the late Kazekage, who had worked so hard to funnel all of her negative feelings into anger and rage towards her mother, had finally cracked. For the first time since her mother's passing, she could no longer keep up the facade that she was mad at Kiyori - Or rather, that that's all she felt towards her. No, beneath the red fire of her hate, the burning coals of sorrow and abandonment smouldered, and it was those feelings that caused the girl to fall down to her knees sobbing. She gripped at the bars of the railing like the bars of a cell, a prison that she had trapped herself in, while she continued to cry. "How could she do this!? I'm not even grown up yet and she left! She was barely even there to begin with, always so busy being the stupid fucking kage! I hardly even knew her and she's gone!" She cried, she yelled, she screamed. Her hands moved to cover her face, wiping her tears as best she could as Fanho broke his silence and spoke.

"No, she didn't! She just decided it was her fucking time, without regard for anyone else's feelings... Everyone sees her as this kind, charitable person, but she's more selfish than anyone else I know!" She sniffled and wiped her eyes some more, slowly making her way back to her feet to see that, once again, the Awai had that stupid apple in his hands. How many times did she have to throw the damn thing? he set the apple down on the railing and asked her his question - What now? What next? What did she want? She slowly grabbed the apple again, holding it in her hand as she wiped a few more tears away with her other hand. The silence overtook them as she sat there, only the sounds of their breath audible in the still night air.

"...I don't know." She finally blurted out. The statement was nebulous, but she'd soon expound on it as she placed the apple back on the railing and reached into her ninja pouch, pulling out the strange golden hilt once again. As she held it up, the ruby in the pommel glinted slightly in the moonlight. It was cut in the shape of a flame, a necklace that Kiyori wore every day, though Emi knew not why. "I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am. I... don't know what I want." The young Henrin stared deeply into the hilt, as if it would somehow answer her questions.

[Director]

Fanho watched as Emi processed what was said. The silence lingering in the air in-between. Giving her time to think, reflect, and come to conclusions herself. In a bit of genius maybe he had cracked the code that Emi was trying to obscure. Perhaps this would lead her to a conclusion, a resolution, closure of some sort. Though it wouldn't come right away. He had to be generous, give her time to grieve, give her time to process, and in general just let her come to the conclusion. He'd give her the prodding and pushing she needed. Not what was being given to her previously.

He watched as the Henrin sat the apple down and pondered her pommel. He'd let silence fill the air once more. Let Kiyori's thoughts swell, process her feelings, her desires, her wants, and in this moment what was next on the docket. The Awai butted his head against Emi's to lighten the mood as if an annoying brother, trying to look at it from the same perspective as Emi. "Looking quite hard at that pommel. It won't give you an answer though. You had some good ones earlier. Are you telling me you aren't a horticulturalist? A tea lover? Generous person extraordinaire?"

His shoulders shrugged as he rattled off what Emi said was her as a person earlier. It was satisfactory then but as the two dug deeper it wasn't satisfying anymore. With a little prodding he could push Emi to search within and find who she was. Something that would give her closure. Trying to be a person without guidance from half of the pair she had came from was a tall order, so Fanho prayed patience and smooth talking guided his hand. To not be led astray with a malignant tongue that botched what he wanted to get across.

"Figuring out who you are is a never-ending process until the day you die. But everyone forms some key values they rely on to make decisions, that they look for in others. I can tell you Fanho values friendship... trust... forgiveness... and his annoying juniors" His hand came up and ruffled Emi's hair in an attempt to lighten the mood. They had gotten deep into the weeds and sadness of the night. Maybe it was time to turn on his bright charm to illuminate the mood. "So what do you value in others? Because those are the values you want to portray. Let that guide your decision making."

[TyDie]

Emi's mind wandered like a leaf on a calm breeze, her eyes fixated on the hilt as if it had wronged her - As if the hilt was a direct representation of her mother, essentially. For a brief moment, the urge to throw it like she had thrown the apple crossed her mind. But before she could even entertain it, the sudden feeling of Fanho's face pressing against hers broke her trance-like state, causing her to groan slightly as he annoyed her with his antics. "Ugh, you have to be the least serious 'sage' I've ever met." She said with a sigh to punctuate. The ruffling of her hair didn't help either, the girl protesting verbally with grunts and frustrated sounds as her hair became all frazzled, followed by irritated mutterings as she fixed it again.

But his words had some weight to them. Values... what did she value exactly? Surprisingly, once prompted, she was pretty quick to come up with answers. "Family." The young girl said, looking down at the water below, now calm once more after her sobbing fit. The serene image of the moon overhead could once again be seen clearly in the stream, a reflection of a reflection. "Even before mom's passing, I took the role of caretaker incredibly seriously. When I wasn't studying or taking classes, I was taking care of my siblings... Sometimes even my dad. He never really was the same after his injury, so sometimes I have to remind him that he still has human needs like food and water. He can't just go smoking herbs all day. Someone has to be there to tell him that." Perhaps the nebulous nature of an open box was too much for the girl, but by asking questions and focusing her mind on subjects, the answers became less vague... Maybe she knew who she was after all?

Maybe she just needed to ask herself the questions, so that she could find the answers. "And honesty too. I need to know that someone trusts me enough to tell me the truth. I can't stand liars, there's no reason for it amongst friends."She hadn't even realized yet that she had still been holding the bladeless hilt in her hand. The less she thought about her grief, the lighter the hilt felt in her hands... It felt less like a burden now, and maybe it could serve as a tool for her yet.

[Director]

As Emi's reaction chimed in to Fanho's intrusive behavior he flashed her a friendly reassuring smile. He did take a pause. If sages were meant to be serious then a sage's life wasn't for himself. What a bore that'd be, speaking in monotone riddles, wearing robes, and refraining from annoying his juniors, seniors, and peers. Sometimes the wisest people were those who gave up on growing up. In touch with their inner child to keep others entertained, but mature enough to straighten out when others needed that extra support.

He remained quiet letting Emi field the values for herself. Take time to think it through, truly isolate what values she valued.

It didn't take long for family to pop up once again. In all fairness something she was deprived of, but still retained in some aspects. Though she had family none of it could fill the hole left behind by Kiyori. It'd require Emi to fill that hole herself with closure. He listened as Emi explained further her family dynamics, the effect it had on the household that Emi stepped up to be the caretaker, and even her dad. The Awai wasn't sheltered he knew rough childhoods existed, but it hit him quite different when laid out like that. He just nodded along with what Emi was saying, chronicling it, and letting Emi's emotions flow through him. Listening instead of thinking of what next great proverb he'd leave her with.

A strong basis in family and honesty. Where else would family come from if not from ones own to build that value. One must know a good family to know what good family values they're seeking. One must know honesty to know what the value of true honesty is. It was near impossible for people to build and cherish these values if they were not shown what these values meant so they could understand why they cherished it. Fanho had learned his ideals for friendship from his older siblings. Trust from Taiga. Forgiveness from Isuzu. These values all had a core person that helped show him what gave these values merit. Showed him them in their rawest form so that he too could appreciate and adopt these as key values he looked for in others.

"You had to experience these values before you learned to cherish them, you know?" His gaze turned up to the stars as he looked beyond searching for any passing souls going by. Those who maybe touched Fanho's life and imbued upon him unknowingly their values. Whether it be a passerby he knew not the name of, or a loved one whom he knew in and out. Regardless these experiences accumulated to impart on him values he learned to cherish.

So now he asked Emi. "Who helped teach you the importance of these values you now hold?"

[TyDie]

Emi's mind continued to wander as her thoughts flitted about in her head, searching for more things that she would consider her personal values. However, Fanho interjected with a question, and truthfully she didn't have much of an answer at first. "Uh... Nobody really..." The girl said with a small sigh, turning her back to the railing before lifting herself to sit on it with a quiet 'hup' sound. "I take it I've made it clear by now but Taiyou no Kagayaki was hardly present at the house. Turns out leading a village is more important than being there for your own flesh and blood. When the rest of my siblings turned to someone for answers, it was either father, Aunt Sachiko, or me since I'm the oldest. I just sorta... fell into it I guess. Someone needed to take charge, give direction, cook food, put on bandages, tuck them in for bed... All the things I barely ever got."

Earlier she was speaking with disdain and contempt for her situation when she spoke of her history, especially in regards to her mother. Now, it was stated as simple fact, a thing that happened with no positive or negative outlook. Well, except for the sarcastic lilt in her voice when referencing "The Sun's Radiance" by her haughty title. "I guess I just didn't want the rest of my siblings to feel how I felt... No one should have to feel like they don't exist." She placed the apple and the hilt on the railing between her and Fanho, crossing her arms uncomfortably as she looked away from Fanho. "At least father tried. And Aunt Sachiko was good for a laugh here and there. Just... It's one thing to be hurt by someone. It's another thing entirely to be told by everyone that the person who hurt you is the nicest, most caring person in the world."

She hadn't meant for her mind to go back to the pain she was feeling, the confused emotions that were raging like a maelstrom inside her in regards to her mother. But the girl was torn between the love a child should feel for their parent, and the pain and hurt that she felt in regards to how she was treated by that parent. Combined with the overall perception of her mother in the eyes of the public, it was like she couldn't find anyone to sympathize with her plight. After all, her mother was the stupendous Kazekage - What could she have possibly done to hurt her own child? Surely Emi was just being sensitive, making it up for clout... At least that was how she was treated.

[Director]

Emi's answers were interesting. It wasn't necessarily a perspective he had considered, but it wasn't a wrong answer either. In an essence just as much as Fanho was tasking Emi to think and learn about her own values and self. She showed Fanho some interesting point of views as well. Despite not really having a family member introduce these values so she could value them, it really was the opposite. The lack of them made her crave them to the point she filled the void herself. Perhaps rather than fill it she distracted herself from it by taking on the responsibility. Little time to reflect on the harm it did her soul if she was busy helping others.

The Awai scratched his chin as he looked towards the water as he hummed in understanding. "Hmmmm..." Selfishness was often seen as a trait that wasn't favorable to others. Being apart of the good guys, being selfish was a taboo. In-fact it was a conflict of selfishness that drove Emi to the depths she was at. Kiyori's selfishness to self statue herself for the greater good neglecting her kids, and Emi's selfishness for wanting a parent. Was Emi wrong to believe her mom neglected her? No, it was simply the barest form of desire a child could want from their parent, acknowledgement and care.

"You know people don't like hearing negative things about their idols to be fair. We go through life and we idealize people. Put the best versions of themselves in our heads, cause after all when you meet someone the impression you wanna make is your best self right?" Fanho pushed off his knee and leaned back against the railing as he propped his elbows against it. He reached up his hand to his left chin as he rapped his fingers thinking of the best way to lead his point. "So unfortunately people find it hard to hear the negatives about someone they really thought the most of. It breaks that idealization. Its a hard thing to learn people aren't perfect, its even harder to experience that first hand from someone you did think highly of and have that image crumble before you, huh?"

A pointed example, but hopefully Emi could relate in a way to the people who gaslit her. To them they saw only the best of Kiyori while Emi saw the truth behind closed doors. It was difficult for them to reconcile, and it only pushed her away.

Fanho shrugged as he sighed, "I guess I'm just saying go easy on those people. They're trying to preserve an idea passed. Its the wrong one, it doesn't do justice to the truth. But even if they did would it make you feel better? People aren't perfect." His thoughts drifted to his own close ones, those with a spotty history like Saigo and Yoru, those who were quick to anger and favored less diplomacy like Taiga, and even Takeo crossed his thoughts as being imperfect. Despite that Fanho accepted them as they were, the values they brought, and sought the good out of them. Easier said than done for Emi, she had years of neglect, anger, and frustration that lined her future, present, and past that there was no timeline on overcoming that.

"I validate your feelings Emi. You have every right to be angry, be sad, be frustrated, feel cheated, feel neglected. Just don't let that stunt your progress." He sighed as he thought how to explain it. How would he explain that Emi was just stunting her growth? How could he communicate that to a twelve year old just feeling a wealth of emotions. A philosophical whirlwind had overtook their conversation, and now it reached a boiling point. But his brain came to a quiet conclusion, just do it, and let her figure it out. Twelve years old she may be, but wise enough through her accelerated maturity she could grab the concept to build upon it.

"Feeling angry at the world, at Kiyori, and your situation will keep you stuck in this loop. I'm not saying you have to forgive, to understand, to empathize, because if I'm being honest I don't feel any of that towards Kiyori knowing what I know now. What I'm saying is you should change this into being that person you want to be. Make those decisions you want to make. Also, be a little selfish. Take some time to yourself, be that own person you talked about being."

He bobbed his head as he continued his little philosophy lesson. "You can't help others if you can't help yourself first." Fanho gestured to himself before holding his hands out and gesturing to the rest of the village. "I'm going on a tour around the world to gain knowledge, life experience, and to prep myself to be the next Hokage. I'll be away for a long time, leaving the village in other peoples hands. But I don't think I can be a good Hokage if I don't get worldly experience. I have to be a little selfish to help service others."

His left hand reached up and flicked Kiyori in the ear playfully as it then reached down to snatch up the hilt. A sly grin grew across his face. "After all, taking the time to talk to you has taught me to be mindful of my work-life balance when I have a family." He focused a little bit of chakra as a solid white hiton blade formed and hummed. It illuminated the bridge and reflected off the water below. "So what will it be? Embrace the future to focus on yourself and be the person you want to be? Or let the past hold onto you and drag you back down?"

[TyDie]

Emi sat quietly as she pulled her legs into her chest, teetering back and forth along the edge of the railing with her knees tucked in and her arms wrapped around her legs. The railing was wide enough to accomodate this posture, and it was always a comforting position for Emi when she had to deal with hard to process truths. And 'Hard to process truths' is precisely what Fanho had for her - The sagely advice had finally reached a tipping point, and Fanho made some great points. "People aren't perfect..." She repeated the words aloud to herself as if they had some hidden meaning, and in a way they sort of did. "In Suna, we teach that the Kazekage is an extension of The Sun itself. Chosen by Her Light to lead us to glory. That's why everyone sees them as being so wonderful, so... perfect. But Mother was human, she was people... And people aren't perfect."

For a moment, the girl fell silent as the revelation escaped her mouth... And a second later, she giggled a little. Not laughter per se, not as if she found something funny, but more like a relief of sorts. The feeling you'd get after a weight was lifted off your shoulders, some big stress leaving your body all at once before you even realized it. It made her receptive to the rest of what Fanho had to say, and while instinctually she wanted to balk at the idea of forgiving her mother, the rest of his words helped her reach the only middle ground she could think of. As he finished, the blade of white light igniting from the hilt Fanho had picked up, Emi started again.

"I... don't know that I can forgive my mother. I don't know if I ever will, to be honest. But you're right... I can't become more than the Daughter of the Kazekage if I let this hold me back forever. I'll meet you in the middle Fanho; I'll focus on myself for a while. I'll be selfish. At least for some time." Pausing for a moment, Emi let her legs dangle down again and pushed herself off of the railing to her feet, looking up to Fanho with a small smile. "And i'll start by accepting that weapon and using it to cut my own path." Maybe all Emi needed was a good cry, to let out all of her pent up feelings. Maybe she needed sagely advice like what Fanho gave her... Or maybe she just needed one person to tell her that her feelings were valid. Maybe it was all three.

But whatever it was, the Emi Henrin holding her hand out to accept her mother's golden hilt was a different Emi Henrin than the girl who walked into Konoha to deliver news of the Kazekage's passing.

[Director]

The Awai shrugged as he tossed the sword up, the light fading quickly with a small flash of gold as it shut off entirely. He left it for Emi to grab and take hold of. After all it was her future she was taking into her own hands. She was calling the shots now. Fanho pushed off of the railing as he spread his legs and began leaning from the left and then to the right stretching out his legs and hips.

"Well I for one am beat helping my juniors relive and overcome their mental traumas put onto them by their parents. Let's say we get you back to your lodge. That's enough trauma for you and me combined." He waved Emi to follow as he slipped his hands into his pockets and began walking back towards Takeo's house where Emi was staying.

"You're on the right track. Even if you are prone to getting lost." A toothy grin formed across his face as he stuck his tongue out at Emi. His job was done for the night and he could rest easy back at his house. One knowing Emi was back safely at the compound, but also that some good was done for her soul. He could rest easy knowing she had at least one friend that sympathized with her plight, and that she was now moving forward no longer tormented by memories of how her childhood should have been. Rather now of the future she would forge for herself.

[TyDie]

Emi panicked a little as the hilt was tossed into the air, the blade dissipating in a brief flash of golden light as the hilt began to fall. Fanho's careless disregard for the hilt should have upset Emi, but some part of her still wondered if she wanted the weapon at all. It was her mother's "gift" to her - Did that taint it? Or was it still useful in spite of it's source? Well, based solely on instinct and reaction, she caught the hilt in her hand as it fell to the ground, letting out a small sigh as she looked down at it... So there was her answer. All of the back and forth in her mind, but when push came to shove, she barely hesitated to reach out and grab her future.

"Heh... yeah... My eyes still sting from earlier." Emi said with a small chuckle. But now that the weapon's power had been unlocked, she had to try it at least once... Assuming she merely had to power the weapon by funneling her chakra into the hilt, she closed her eyes and let her energy flow through her palms. A moment later, the hilt in her hand was glowing with a soft warmth, before a shining blade of brilliant golden light emerged from the hilt. "Tch, of course it's golden light... Just like Mothers..." She shook her head for a moment as habitual thoughts of anger began to well up in her. Yes, she would probably always be angry with Kiyori, but she was beginning to get a hold of herself... slowly.

The blade hummed softly, it's brightness illuminating the darkened bridge and chasing away the night, like a beacon in the abyss or an oasis in the desert. It was remarkably light, no pun intended - swinging it was effortless as she carefully waved the weapon in the air, twirling it in her hand a few times to get a feel for it. She even held her other hand out towards the blade, feeling the gentle warmth grow closer to searing heat as her hand was mere inches from the weapon's blade. Despite her attitude in the beginning, her indifference towards the artifact of her mother's making, now that it sat in her hands... holding the weapon felt as natural as breathing to her.

And a second later, as she let her focus wane, the blade vanished as quickly as it had appeared, and night consumed the two once more. "Fancy. I'll make good use of it... Maybe you can even teach me a thing or two later." Emi said with a small chuckle, following Fanho back towards the Natsuki family home.