Page 1 of 1
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:54 pm
by Ace Trainer
Are you sure you want to restrict yourself to 3 genjutsu and 3 speed?
Quote:Equipment: Roller blade chakra powered boots
We'll need an actual description on this so we can properly price it.
Are you sure you don't want any other weapons?
There is some weird coding in your jutsu, missing returns. If you could fix that.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:11 pm
by Niro
Random 'Hide' at the very top of your app
You have 205 stats, Jounin get 200
Roller blades are a cool idea but need some tweaking. The most anyone can boost is a +30 and that's with death boosting. Currently they give a +33 boost. The most you could get would be +20 for the cost of an S45 jutsu which is a lot more than the equipment points you have at start up. For the +20 version it'd cost 62 points and Jounin only get 35 on start up. You could get a lesser version of with a lower boost and upgrade to the +20 version in the future, using the base for a discount. If it's your only piece of equipment and you want to use all 35 points on it, you could get an S35 version which would give +15 to Speed. However, because it's a boost it needs a draw back. You can split the drawback into two different stats; I'd suggest Strength (Can't put all his force into a punch due to not being able to firmly plant his foot because of the roller blades) and Instinct (focusing on keeping up with the increase in speed).
Do you want all of your jutsu bolded?
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:59 am
by Niro
~Mokuton • Wall of Eden <-Please remove the ~. That's for archive clan jutsu only. Nothing else though is wrong with it.
~Mokuton • Sky Pillar <-You have this twice
Suiton • Defensive Barrier <-Please put the * back for archive jutsu
*Suiton • Aqua Dragons <-Please remove the * for non-archive jutsu. Since it's a multiple projectile the amount of stats it gets goes down a rank. You'd only get 10 stats.
*Suiton • Aqua Roar <-Please remove the * for non-archive jutsu. Since it's a multiple projectile the amount of stats it gets goes down a rank. You'd only get 10 stats.
*Suiton • Aqua Morph <-Please remove the * for non-archive jutsu. Since it's a multiple projectile the amount of stats it gets goes down a rank. You'd only get 20 stats.
Since you have Bone Breaker, you need to copy and paste the style description within your taijutsu spoiler at the very top. Here's the code.
Code: Select all
[quote][center][color=#E8E2D6]Bone Breaker Style[/color] was created by shinobi in order to disable another fighter quickly in a fight to prevent them from utilizing limbs, and weathering the opponent down by short powerful strikes aimed at weak spots in the skeletal structure to fracture or break entirely. The style is strongly based off the strength and taijutsu skill of the user. If a user is strong they can snap bones easily, but if they are uncoordinated the style is essentially useless, same if it was the other way around, a weak person cannot snap bones no matter how well they're coordinated. The style is an utterly brute and ruthless one used to typical lethally injure or disable an opponent for other means.
[i]Requires a Minimum of 5 Strength and 5 Taijutsu
Requires CQC and Medicine Concentrations[/center][/i][/quote]
Your taijutsu pyramid doesn't support an A-rank atm. You need 2 B-ranks.
I'm counting 121 points of jutsu, Jounin get 120.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 3:55 pm
by Kabu
Body <- We need a bit more than 'muscular.' It doesn't have to be much, but just enough so that we can get a general idea of what he looks like in terms of body build.
Mokuton as a fusion release would simply be an ability rather than a concentration
All Seeing Eye <- This would also be just an ability rather than a concentration, though I will say I'm not entirely sure what it is that you're going for here.
Mokuton, Spike Touch. <- This should be D-Rank.
Quote:*Suiton • Aqua Dragons
C-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user expels three 3 6 foot 6 inches long Chinese Dragons of Water, that run at the users direct front, one behind the other, running at a speed of 7, and hit at a strength of 3.
*Suiton • Aqua Roar
Prerequisite Suuton Aqua Dragons
C-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user expels three 3 6 foot 6 inches long Chinese Dragons of Water, that run at the users direct front, one behind the other, they separate, the one in the front first left, the one behind goes right, and the last one stays in the middle. They all simultaneously shoot water from their mouth, and shrink by half their size for each roar. The water pump like attack Hits at a strength of 3 and moves at the speed of 7.
*Suiton • Aqua Morph
Prerequisite Suuton Aqua Roar
B-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user morphs together all three and creates a nine foot nine inch long Chinese dragon that lunges at the foes
And attacks by water slamming them. The dragon moves at 9 and hits at 11.
All three of these need to have the * symbol removed as they're customs.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:51 pm
by Niro
Your All Seeing Eye is really just a combination of a stat boost + Adv Channeling, no need to use up another Ability slot. Adv Channeling is a concentration you can pick up as an Elemental Ninjutsu specialist who selects Control as one of their stats. It allows you to charge your jutsu instead of using any hand seals. For the stat boost part, it looks like B-rank stat boost.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Fri Mar 29, 2019 2:35 pm
by Niro
Okay then, we have a couple options then. First, Senju and other Fusion clans can Ability channel. This means you can just charge up and use your Mokuton jutsu if they're written to be channeled. Jutsu can only be channeled OR cast through hand seals, not both, so any Mokuton you'd want to channel have to state you channel the chakra. This means you can only channel Mokuton, not Suiton or Doton.
If you want to channel Doton/Suiton without being an Elemental Ninjutsu specialist, that's a
paid ability. You cannot start with a paid ability but they can be explained in many different ways (your All Seeing Eye). To be able to channel Elemental Ninjutsu, you'd need to spend 20 points plus another 15 if you don't want to grab the concentration for a total of 35 points and a C-rank PB.
For the stat boost part of it, that's just a B-rank boost jutsu and something I urge you not to spend an Ability slot on. You only get 3 of them, ever, and they're extremely hard to open back up once filled.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:18 pm
by Niro
I recommend on holding off on the Eye for now. 35 points isn't a huge investment and a C-rank PB is nothing difficult for a jounin. It gives you a short-term goal to work towards while you get used to the site.
For the boosting portion, I'd just do some sort of B-rank (+9) boost for now. Boosts can be of any element as long as they're written in a believable manner.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:28 pm
by Niro
You could trade out one of your B-rank taijutsu and do it as a B-rank taijutsu stance that does the +/- you have written.
Tsuki Senju
Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2019 2:01 pm
by Tsedas
So looking over your history, I see that you tried to make him tag along with his parents on intelligence gathering missions. I don't think that'd happen. It'd be like Konoha sending a 1 year old who can't even form coherent words and cries all the time with James Bond on a mission to infiltrate Russian and find out about their secret howdy-dos. If Fire Country wanted foreign knowledge without being sneaky about it, they'd send an ambassador. If they want it on the DL, they will hire a hire a shinobi to infiltrate. Konoha in good consciousness wouldn't send a child with the parents on such a mission. And being a Senju, he doesn't lack for family given their status as a clan, plus the fact that intel gathering missions don't really make you spend years upon years out at a time I feel unless it's a deep cover operation. If it was, they still wouldn't let the kid go out there on the mission I feel.
Also even if he was trained by his parents in the field, he wouldn't be an official Genin until he got back and was evaluated. So you might wanna take these into consideration.
[Denied]Tsuki Senju
Posted: Sat May 04, 2019 11:13 am
by Niro
timed