[DENIED] Nakajima Mariya

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Taiga
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[DENIED] Nakajima Mariya

Post by Taiga » Tue Jul 21, 2020 10:32 pm

NAKAJIMA MARIYA

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General Information Age: 16
Gender: Female
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 49KG
Physical Features:
  • Face/head: Mariya has a sharp feline face with almond shaped eyes, thin lips, and a pointed nose. Her jet black hair is worn in a pixi cut.
  • Body: Mariya is more on the "sporty" side than "supple". She is in extremely great shape her body closely resembling acrobatic olympians. What she lacks in bust she more than makes up for in curves.
  • Notable Features: Her Tengengan results in her having purple eyes with fractal patterns in the irises. Additionally, as a result of becoming a Pseudo-Jinchuuriki of the ten-tailed bakeneko, the spiritual energy her body absorbed causes Mariya's hair to have two permanent cowlicks on either side of her head- her hair juts up and out, causing a "cat ear" like appearance to her otherwise short pixi cut.
Clothing/Accessories: Preferring function over form Mariya wears a black shoulder-less shirt with a raised collar and a pair of black sports tights with red accenting. Over this she wears the standard Kumogakure flack jacket and a white forehead protector worn like a belt. Attached to the forehead protector are several pouches.For accessories she wears long black gloves that start above her biceps and a pair of knee-high black rubber boots with red trimming. She often wears sports goggles with orange tinting to protect her eyes.

Last she tends to wear a pair of white sports goggles with a tinted-red visor.
Personality:
  • General: Mariya at heart has a rambunctious spirit and knack for getting into trouble however her abnormal upbringing has led to be just as abnormally naive for her age and left her with impairment when processing or trying to understand normal human emotion often leading others to believe she is "incentive". This is exhibited by behaviour such as laughing when others are sobbing or crying- her inability to understand the correct emotional response in the heat of the moment.
  • Hopes/Dreams: Mariya's competitive spirit, imparted by Banri during her underground training, drives her to want to be "better" than her genetic originals, Nakajima Hayate and Tada Banri.
  • Fears: Tada Banri
  • Combat Mentality: A trained black ops operative, Mariya is capable of suppressing her true personality in combat and taking a careful approach likened to that of a cat hunting a mouse- watching and waiting for the right moment to take a decisive strike. An unfortunate result of her abnormal upbringing so far, combat brings out the inhuman, clinical side of her.

Battle Information Village: Kumogakure no Sato
Rank: Chuunin
  • Chakra Pool: 10
  • Endurance: 10
  • Control: 10
  • Strength: 10
  • Speed: 10
  • Willpower: 15
  • Mastery: 15
Equipment:
[Eight Tails Whip]
A leather whip with a 14cm handle and a 6 meter long tail that splits into 4 tails at the 4 meter mark. The outer tails have sharp chunks of wood embedded in them and the center tails have heavy stone counter weights embedded at their end. The whip however has a special effect in that upon striking, an "echo" of the whip will apear, making the exact same attack again in a near-instant rapid succession. This is why the whip has a namesake of "eight tails" rather than the physical four that it has, because in reality this whip will leave 8 imprints.
Belt Pouch 1 (Right Front)
- 10x Exploding Tags
- 5x Flash Tags
Belt Pouch 2 (Left Back)
- 15x Kunai
- 15x Shuriken

Companions: (0/1)
Primary Affinity: Katon
Abilities and Concentrations
Abilities
Pseudo-JinchuurikiWith too many failed hosts and catastrophes, the black ops of Kumogakure carried out illegal experiments that aimed to create perfect jinchuuriki by completely siphoning the energy from a spirit transferring it via "chakra transplantation" to a human. Due to the unique tenketsu inherited from Nakajima Hayate the sole survivor of the experiment was Mariya, who now holds the chakra of a ten-tailed bakeneko spirit. Unlike a traditional jichuuriki there is no spirit sealed in in Mariya, instead the spirits energy is infused into her body similar to how ones body may be modified or enhanced. This means when Mariya perma dies the energy of the spirit ceases to exist. As a result of becoming a pseudo-jinchuuriki Mariya's chakra is a translucent white.
Inheritor of the Ten-Tailed Beast's ChakraShow
Form 0In the base form, the recipient of ten-tail's energy has translucent white chakra. Additionally, the recipient will be capable of utilizing Raw Yin Release ninpou, an incorporeal form of raw, black chakra that has the passive consume. Anything plasma or energy that comes into contact with Raw Yin Release causes both the technique and the energy to become consumed, however anything physical is unaffected by Raw Yin Release and both will pass through each other. The recipient is immune to the effects of Raw Yin Release.
Raw Yin Release Size LimitsShow
Control RequirementMaximum Size
1-10.5x.5x.5m
11-201x1x1m
21-302x2x2m
31-404x4x4m
41-457x7x7m
46-5012x12x12m
Form 1In this form, the recipient gains the ability to utilize Yang Release: Earth ninpou, an incorporeal form of white chakra that can interact with Genjutsu and add substance to it, converting it into Ninjutsu. This of course is limited only by things the recipient can actually create via their skillset. This also only applies to illusions that can be logically converted into a ninjutsu technique.
+5 Chakra Pool
Form 2In this form, the recipient gains the ability to utilize Yin Release: Heaven ninpou, an incorporeal form of black chakra to interact with Ninjutsu and remove the manipulated Yang energy from it, turning it into a mere Genjutsu illusion. This technique can only be performed on an opposing jutsu is of equal or lesser [Strength].
+5 Control, +5 Chakra Pool
Form 3In this form, if the recipient wills it, their body begins to exude Raw Yin Release energy around their body in a [Control]/10 CM layer that refreshes at [Control] speed, as if they were engulfed in black flames. 5 prehensile tails of dense chakra will form behind them, each roughly 30cm thick and 5m long. This chakra consumes the chakra of anything that touches it, causing a -3CP debuff on touch.
+5 Control, +5 Willpower, +5 Chakra Pool
Form 4In this form, the recipient's aura of Raw Yin Release energy becomes more dense as the host becomes completely encased in the energy. At this point, they will fully resembling the ten-tails, being roughly 15 meters tall and have 10 prehensile tails behind them made of Raw Yin Release, each 7m long.
+5 Control, +5 Willpower, +10 Chakra Pool
Form 4 PerfectedIn this form the body of the ten-tails will peel off the recipient like a cocoon disappearing into nothingness as the recipient emerges forth. The recipients body will become completely pale, even their hair becoming white. A strange horn-like structure will be attached to their forehead and they will be covered in flowing white flame like chakra, giving the appearance of a robe. The robes have the same effect as the Form 3 cloak. The 10 black prehensile tails of Form 4 can be excreted from the recipients back and controlled on demand. Additionally, having completely mastered tapping into the power of the Matatabi, the abilities granted in form 1,2,3,4 are now usable in Form 0.
+5 Control, +5 Willpower, +15 Chakra Pool
MasteryShow
4)First form is now unlockable. Up to C-Rank Jutsu can be used in First form.
6) Up to B-Rank Jutsu can be used in First form.
10) Up to A-Rank Jutsu can be used in First form.
14) Up to S-Rank Jutsu can be used in First form. Second form Unlockable, up to D-rank jutsu can be used in Second form.
16) Up to C-Rank Jutsu can be used in Second form.
20) Up to B-Rank Jutsu can be used in Second form. Form 2 Ascended Unlocked
22) Up to A-Rank Jutsu can be used in Second form.
26) Up to S-Rank Jutsu can be used in Second. Third form unlockable, up to D-rank jutsu can be used in Second form.
30) Up to C-rank jutsu can be used in third form.
34) Up to B-Rank Jutsu can be used in Third form.
38) Up to A-Rank Jutsu can be used in Third form.
40) Up to S-Rank Jutsu can be used in Third form. Fourth Form unlockable and up to C-Rank Jutsu can be used in Fourth form.
42) Up to B-Rank Jutsu can be used in Fourth form.
46) Up to A-Rank Jutsu can be used in Fourth form.
48) Up to S-Rank Jutsu can be used in Fourth form.
50)Form 4 Perfected Unlocked.
天眼眼
Tengengan
Literally heavenly eye, the Tengengan, known colloquially as "eavesdrop eye", is a unique doujutsu that causes Mariya's irises to be purple with black borders. Within the iris there are flower like fractal patterns that all emerge in the center where the pupil would be. Acting like may mirrors the Tengengan has the specific ability to read genjutsu chakra that lingers in the air and genjutsu effected targets tenketsu allowing the wielder to "peek" or "eavesdrop" in on genjutsu.

For illusions the wielder is capable of seeing the visual elements that effect others. For status genjutsu, they are capable of seeing the emotions a target is experiencing on a color range. Warp becomes a mix of these two. These effects are like augmented reality for Mariya, her seeing it in a translucent state over what she would otherwise see with her own two eyes. If her [Willpower] is equal to or greater than that of a Genjutsu's caster she can also "inject herself" into a genjutsu where applicable. This does not work with Overlay however, as overlays are instantaneous.
Celestial EyeShow
Concentrations
NinjutsuKaton, Iijutsu
TaijutsuBraided Weapons, Acrobatics, Perception
GenjutsuStatus Genjutsu, Illusion of Force Genjutsu, Warp Genjutsu, Touch Initiation, Sight Initiation, Sound Initiation

Jutsu
NinpouShow
*[Ninjutsu • Hidden Needles]
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user will focus chakra into their mouths and into up to five senbon within 10 meters of their position. The senbon will be summoned from their persons or nearby into the user's mouth, where they will be spit out aided by chakra at [Control] Strength and Speed. The senbon can be shot up to 10 meters away.

*[Ninjutsu • Wall]
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user causes a thin 3x3x1 meter flat barrier to form within 10 meters of them at [Control] Speed and has [Control] Strength. It lasts for 3 posts.

*[Ninjutsu • Chakra Burst]
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
After channeling chakra into one of their fists, the user will then attempt to strike their target and if successful, they will release additional concussive force in the form of an outward explosion with [Control] Strength from their fist. If the user does not strike a target within 3 posts the jutsu dissipates.

*[Ninjutsu • Tracking Device]
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user will coat one of their hairs in chakra. Once this has been done, they will place it on their target. The user can track the exact location of the strand of hair for up to 10 meters. For up to 20 meters out, the user can track a rough location. From then out to 100 meters, the user just gets a general direction of where the opponent is. The chakra in the hair will dissipate at the end of 6 posts.
TaijutsuShow
Always on their Feet
D-Rank Discipline Taijutsu
Requirement: Acrobatics
Mariya has an incredible inner ear and sense of space allowing her to be capable of easily maintaining balance whether being attacked, pushed, dazed, or even when falling from a high height. Seemingly she always recovers, landing square on her feet like a cat. In the case of falling or being thrown, impacts from a distance of [Enudrance] x 2 meters can be completely negated. Anything more is up to the situation: techniques used, stat checks, etc.

Balance in All Things
D-Rank Discipline Taijutsu
Mariya has trained herself to utilize both sides of her body in complete equality. She can utilize either her left or right side interchangeably without any extra thought needed.

Braided Weapon Mastery
D-Ranked Discipline Taijutsu
Beyond just being proficient in utilizing a braided weapon, Mariya has gone to extreme lengths to learn the perfect way to use braided or corded weaponry while being mindful of the weak points, strong points, and gotchas. This master translates directly into increasing the durability and longevity of her weapon.

Basic Crack
D-Ranked Maneuver Taijutsu
By doing a controlled flicking motion from the base of a braided or corded weapon Mariya will cause the weapon to "crack" letting out a very loud it "cracking" sound, this sound can be heard up to [Strength] x2 meters away.

Spatial Sense
C-Rank Discipline Taijutsu
Requirements: Perception
Mariya utilizes her keen senses and perception to provide a very advanced spatial sense. This allows her to envision complex happenings around her with ease such as: she is always aware of her position, has greatly sharpened ability to judge the speed of things, and the spatial aspect of them. Through this, she can better dodge and aim attacks allowing her to "weave" he physical movements to a superbly smooth level.

The Cat stalks its Prey
C-Rank Stance Taijutsu
Requirements: Acrobatics
Mariya utilizes her acrobatics skills to push forward keeping the tempo high on her opponents and overwhelming their physical movement through her erratic, eclectic, and aggressive movements. While in this stance, this causes anyone fighting her to effectively suffer a -3 speed debuff unless they have a technique to deal with this pace-setting stance.
Raw Yin ReleaseShow
Oh! That's a baseball!
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
Mariya will create a dense black sphere of Raw Yin Release chakra that orbits around her person, around a foot away from her. The size and the speed the spheres orbit at is dictated by [Control].

Spikes
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
Mariya will hold out both palms, releasing a dense spike of Raw Yin Release chakra. The spikes are created at [Control] speed and sized relative to their [Control], up to a maximum of 2 meters in length.

Whip Cream
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
Mariya will coat her whip in a relatively thin layer of Raw Yin Release chakra- the thickness and speed this is done at dictated by [Control].

Pulse Wave
C-Ranked Ninjutsu
Mariya will hold out her palm, releasing a blast of Raw Yin Release chakra relative to [Control] in size. Upon contact with an energy the Raw Yin release chakra disperses outward, fanning out around the energy. This technique operates at a speed of [Control] and if it does not contact with an energy immediately has a base range of up to 25m.
Yin Release: HeavenShow
Yin Release: Heaven • Misery is but an Illusion
C-Rank Ninjutsu
Mariya will launch a soccer ball sized ball of black Yin Release: Heaven chakra at an incoming ninjutsu attack at a speed and strength of [Control] up to 25 meters away at base range. If this successfully impacts with a technique and that technique's strength is equal to or lower than [Control] the technique will become an illusion genjutsu.
KatonShow
*Katon • Fireball
D-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user draws in a deep breath before exhaling out a 1 foot diameter fireball at the opponent. It travels up to 10 meters away at [Control] speed and strength.

*Katon • Flame Jet
D-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals the user draws in a deep breath before exhaling out a cone that is up to five meters long and three meters wide at it's base. The cone travels at a speed equal to [Control] and impacts with a strength equal to [Control].

*Katon • Scattering Flames
C-Rank Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals, the user will puff their chest before spitting out a torrent of 15 individual fireballs, each 2 centimeter diameter. The fireballs are shot for up to 10 meters away at a speed and strength equal to [Control].
GenjutsuShow
[Genjutsu • Long Lashes]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After the appropriate hand seals when anyone hears Mariya's whip crack they will be caught in the genjutsu. White tails of pure chakra will sprout from the ends of her whips tails causing their full length to appear to be around 12 meters long. This illusion lasts for 4 posts.

[Genjutsu • Fast Strikes]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After the appropriate hand seals when anyone hears Mariya's whip crack they will be caught in the genjutsu. When Mariya swings her whip, it will appear to be twice the speed she physically swings it at. This illusion lasts for 4 posts.

[Genjutsu • Clouds]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After the appropriate hand seals, Mariya will yell out something including the word "cloudy" triggering the genjutsu to any who hear this. Those effected will see the area around them rapidly fill with clouds as if they were floating high up in the stratosphere. The clouds limit their vision to a 4 meter radius around them for the next 5 posts. Because this is a genjutsu and no clouds are actually there, attempts to remove the clouds will ultimately fail.

[Genjutsu • Flame Wall]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After the appropriate hand seals those who see this will be caught in Mariya's genjutsu. The effected parties will see a 5x1x3 thick wall of flame appear in front of Mariya. For the next 5 posts the fire will spread progressively as the wall widens.

[Genjutsu • Black Hole]
C-Ranked Illusion of Force Genjutsu
After the appropriate hand seals Mariya will flick her wrist as if throwing something, capturing those who see this motion in her genjutsu and causing them to see a dense black ball of Yin chakra appearing up to 25 meters away. The ball will suddenly start to spin rapidly. If the effected go within a 10 meter radius of it, they will feel a strange almost magnetic force exerting on them that pulls them towards the ball at [Willpower] strength. The ball will remain for 3 posts.

*[Genjutsu • Reverse Hypnosis]
C-Ranked Status Genjutsu
This is a three post genjutsu. To start the genjutsu, the ninja does the hand seals that are needed and then places a hand on the target. Until the genjutsu ends the target is able to remember a lot more about their past and has a lighter barrier over their consciousness making it easier for them to spill information. This doesn’t weaken their will, however, meaning if they are aware it’s a genjutsu, they are more than capable of using Kai.

History
Historical AccountsShow
While Mariya is physically assumed to be around the age of 16, she is less than 3 years old in reality. Beginning her life as Subject #42, under Program New Dawn in a Kumogakure BlackOps medical facility. Fathered by Tada Banri through unknown mothers, from the womb the babies were injected with various experiments.

New Dawn's goal was to create pseudo-jinchuuriki by directly draining the energy of a spirit and injecting it into a human host, removing the needs for seals and also their instability- something Banri theorized to be a combination of the seal and the aggressive personality of the spirit sealed within that eroded a hosts own will. With over 60 participants at various life stages and various genetic alterations, Subject #42 was specifically a theory that through the "resonating chakra" and tenketsu abnormalities of Nakajima Hayate, the bond would be more likely to succeed.

From the womb, Subject #42 was altered in secret to contain the DNA of the Raikage, Nakajima Hayate making her oddly the children of three people: Hayate, Banri, and an unknown female donor. Upon the babies birth she was healthy and was moved to a tank meant to rapidly accelerate her growth until the age of 10. The process all in all took nearly 2 years, and upon her "birthday" she was removed from the tank and the experiment of merging a freshly captured spirit- the ten tail cat demon took place. Until now roughly 30 attempts had failed however the spirit's energy entered Mariya's body easily, her tenketsu and even her chakra signature mutating and her becoming one with the chakra of the spirit until it was indistinguishable.

With great success, she was tested further then put back into the tank for further growth and to bask in all the residual energy of the ten tails. On occasion, she was woken from her slumber to be poked, prodded, trained, and tested- Banri having the goal of turning her into an adult and weapon for BlackOps. The village though began to catch onto the crimes of Tada Banri, in part due to the Raikage sharing them to the bannin. Eventually, the removal of Tada Banri and his BlackOps came and though it was a fearsome battle, the Raikage and his forces forced a surrender.

Upon raiding one his underground layers however- one beneath the lake of Kumogakure, Hayate found a room full of tanks. All except one was empty- a teenage girl floating in a mysterious ooze. He could feel through his sensory she was different. Along with Iijutsu experts and captured BlackOps researchers, they took 42 out of the tank and shared the truth of her experiment.

Disgusted at his own DNA being used without him against him to create a child that could potentially kill him with ease, the Raikage was at a loss for words... but he was reminded of humanity by the helpless naked girl shivering before him who had never chosen to be brought into this world through experiment.

Handing her his Raikage cloak, he scratched the back of his head...

Subject 42 stood there, wide-eyed looking at the man who had clothed her. She was confused. She felt lost... but something was odd. She felt a strange sensation- something she did not know at the time, but would later learn was belonging. Was kinship. She looked back at the nan who was in some rights, though artificially, her father.

Hayate broke the silence.

"Mariya is a beautiful name, do you like it?" he asked. The girl nodded her head but did not respond. Hayate hugged her. "Let's go home, Mariya".

It had been a few months and young Mariya has struggled to adapt to her surroundings as a normal teenager, however being ranked Chuunin she has proved to be the powerful ninja her creator had envisioned.

Username: Hayate
Points: 0/0
Prestige Perks: 0/0
Stat Trainings: (0/75)
Last edited by Taiga on Mon Jan 18, 2021 6:53 am, edited 11 times in total.

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ShinobiTruth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Mon May 20, 2019 3:48 pm

Nakajima Mariya

Post by ShinobiTruth » Wed Jul 29, 2020 2:42 pm

Couple of overarching things I wanna tackle before I touch any of the jutsu.

A.) Small thing: Your table is broken for the ability.

B.) You're gonna need to explain more in detail how you intend Earth ninpou and Heaven ninpou are supposed to work. The only way I could really see this being possible would be through some form of sensory that allows you to view the illusion the target is currently affected by.

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Taiga
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Nakajima Mariya

Post by Taiga » Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:38 am

Thanks!!! Actually you gave me an idea for a super cool ability. Seeing as I have an ability slot, I'd like to add the following ability, thoughts on it though, please:

天眼眼 - Tengengan - Heavenly Eye
The Tengengan is a unique doujutsu that causes Mariya's irises to be purple with black borders. Within the iris there are flower like fractal patterns that all emerge in the center where the pupil would be. Beyond looking cool, Tengengan has the specific ability to read genjutsu chakra that effects the tenketsu circulatory system. In essence, this allows Mariya to "eavesdrop" genjutsu that is effecting others- capable of seeing the illusions that effect them or even watching an overlay take place. Illusions, Warp, or Status Genjutsu Mariya is eavesdropping will appear like an "overlay" in her reality, similar to Augmented Reality. When it comes to Overlay Genjutsu, Mariya can inject herself into an overlay if her WP is higher than or equal to that of it's caster. When "injected" into an overlay, she is like a shadow clone and be destroyed with a solid hit or two.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ ... 36/340.png

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TheLacarix
Posts: 1309
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 4:12 pm

Nakajima Mariya

Post by TheLacarix » Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:07 pm

The song at the top of your app isn’t working.

Always on their Feet < Even though you’ve put the caveat of the depending situation, should probably be of an equal rank, in case you are thrown over with an earthquake or a taijutsu manoeuvre that is S-ranked. Even though you’ve put the caveat of the depending situation.

Braided Weapon Mastery < I’m not sure what a ‘gotcha’ is

Just as a general note, I’m not entirely sure if you do or do not need to be specific about sizes in their base rank. I’ll double check and get back to you though!
CharactersShow

The White Eyed Demon of the Leaf
Aizawa, Yoru
S-Rank - Bannin
Konohagakure - ANBU

Shiazu, Ico
D-Rank - Genin
Kirigakure

Aono, Ikuto
A-Rank - Shogun
Land of Tea

Hondo (Aizawa), Haru
C-Rank
Land of Tea

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TheLacarix
Posts: 1309
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 4:12 pm

Nakajima Mariya

Post by TheLacarix » Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:14 pm

Quick update: So yeah, need to write sizes and range for base ranks.
CharactersShow

The White Eyed Demon of the Leaf
Aizawa, Yoru
S-Rank - Bannin
Konohagakure - ANBU

Shiazu, Ico
D-Rank - Genin
Kirigakure

Aono, Ikuto
A-Rank - Shogun
Land of Tea

Hondo (Aizawa), Haru
C-Rank
Land of Tea

User avatar
Taiga
Raikage
Raikage
Posts: 11303
Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2011 8:00 pm
Location: Database
User flair: Why saigen people?!?

Nakajima Mariya

Post by Taiga » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:32 am

Works for me-> seems there is a region block. :[[[[[ ill find a different one at some point

Feet -> I feel like an S-Rank Earthquake vs this jutsu rank would be irrelevant tho, since things like endurance or physicality would matter more. (I.E. a 35 strength shake if you have 40, you should be able to probably ignore even without a taijutsu)

braided weaponry <- A gotcha is like a uh "a sudden unforeseen problem." So like, a gotcha of a braided weapon could be improper usage leading to the threads tearing and the whip becoming compromised structurally, or the way physics might effect the movement of a braided weapon based on focal point etc. It's just like "interms of using this weapon she will not be really surprised or subject to any user issue."

Sizes -> Yup, figured this is like sankaton in reverse so I just gave it the same size limits and whatnot.

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TheLacarix
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Nakajima Mariya

Post by TheLacarix » Mon Aug 03, 2020 3:15 am

Even so, if I use an S-rank ‘Throwing Taijutsu’ yours shouldn’t just negate that entirely, it’s why it should be of an equal rank.
CharactersShow

The White Eyed Demon of the Leaf
Aizawa, Yoru
S-Rank - Bannin
Konohagakure - ANBU

Shiazu, Ico
D-Rank - Genin
Kirigakure

Aono, Ikuto
A-Rank - Shogun
Land of Tea

Hondo (Aizawa), Haru
C-Rank
Land of Tea

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Taiga
Raikage
Raikage
Posts: 11303
Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2011 8:00 pm
Location: Database
User flair: Why saigen people?!?

Nakajima Mariya

Post by Taiga » Mon Aug 03, 2020 3:16 am

Edited to "Anything more is up to the situation: techniques used, stat checks, etc."

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TheLacarix
Posts: 1309
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 4:12 pm

Nakajima Mariya

Post by TheLacarix » Tue Aug 11, 2020 12:41 pm

1/2
CharactersShow

The White Eyed Demon of the Leaf
Aizawa, Yoru
S-Rank - Bannin
Konohagakure - ANBU

Shiazu, Ico
D-Rank - Genin
Kirigakure

Aono, Ikuto
A-Rank - Shogun
Land of Tea

Hondo (Aizawa), Haru
C-Rank
Land of Tea

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Ace Trainer
Posts: 16242
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:00 pm

Nakajima Mariya

Post by Ace Trainer » Tue Aug 25, 2020 12:40 am

As they have to do every time you try to do this Heaven/Earth genjutsu/ninjutsu nonsense staff has to discuss if they think its balanced or not. Just letting you know so you don't think I'm ignoring this.
Mistaki ShioShiimu KozanGekko IndraShoshiki HeiyaHizashi Ikinari
Kirigakure No Sato
Kemurigakure no Sato

Taishou of Iron Country
Kirigakure No Sato
Genin
Experiment 81 v2
Sunagakure No Sato
Genin
The Soul Host
Iwagakure No Sato
Special Jounin
The Tungsten Princess
Sunagakure No Sato
Jounin
The Revolutionary
Past CharactersShow
[Kenketi Tenteki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Special Jounin]
[Setsuya Inka :: Sunagakure No Sato – The Soul Host – Special Jounin]
[Kaikyo Kohon :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shinwa Basuta no Suihouheki Yasahii :: Kirigakure No Sato – Mizukage :: Spirit of Capricorn, Topenga]
[Futokutei Hitoare :: Konohagakure No Sato – Pestilence (Four Horsemen) – Jounin]
[Aisu Koiji :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shitagane Sakki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Genin]
[Batsu Betsuni :: Iwagakure No SatoJounin A Rank Missing Ninja]
[Futokutei Yasunari :: Konohagakure No Sato – Genin]
ChatangoShow
HonchkrOnu
ArticOnu
RichardUnknown
RichardGreen
RichardRed
RichardBlack
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Post by Ace Trainer » Tue Aug 25, 2020 2:47 pm

Oh actually while it’s pending

There’s no way to insert yourself into overlay. Because they happen instantaneously in the “real” world, by time her doujutsu witnessed the overlay it would be over
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Post by Taiga » Wed Aug 26, 2020 6:46 am

Right, I just hope I get to argue on the balance discussion. Not a fan of my characters fates being discussed behind closed doors where I cannot be a participant.

@Overlay - Is that so.... if the mechanism was different, would that still be the case? And I thought its like a "second or two" but in the scope of the RP its instantaneous, so couldn't it still be possible in the hammertime that is an overlay?

Kinda wanted to get that Sasuke effect- i know it wasnt a genjutsu, but when he showed up in narutos jinch place and was like "oh so this is your secret?"

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Post by Ace Trainer » Wed Aug 26, 2020 10:15 am

Regardless of the mechanism it would be the same. In the real world the overlay happens and ends instantly, there’s no time for any sort of intervention/etc. That’s the advantage of overlay and why it’s the end game skill for gen.
Every single staff member who commented on it is less than a fan of it at best.

Questions you’ll need to answer:
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2. How are your 4 different abilities here (Reverse Sanka, Gen -> Nin, Nin -> Gen, and -CP tails) thematically related
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Post by Taiga » Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:20 am

Ill get to those questions after this;

Right, but as a gen main character built fully around gen, that whole "well this is endgame gen" thing seems like a weak argument? I can throw something on overlay with more stat checks or w/e but I don't see why there wouldn't be anyway to inject yourself into a genjutsu too.

What if instead of it happening after the fact, you pulled yourself into the initial trigger with them?

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Post by Ace Trainer » Wed Sep 09, 2020 9:25 am

You can inject yourself into genjutsu, the Kuruma clan does exactly that via a doujutsu. You just can’t do it to overlay because the timing makes it impossible.

If you got caught in the trigger for an overlay, you would also experience the overlay, not experience it with them.
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Post by Taiga » Thu Sep 10, 2020 10:27 am

Fair enough, done.

1. How is this different from creation genma <- Very different. Creation has nothing do do with genjutsu and create whatever they want whenever.

This A. Has to have a genjutsu first. B. She has to have the conc to make it real. Can't just create anything from nothing.
For example if she shoots a laser in a genjutsu, but lacks the Awai ability, she cannot convert that to real.

2. How are your 4 different abilities here (Reverse Sanka, Gen -> Nin, Nin -> Gen, and -CP tails) thematically related
Hellfire Demon Kitten, kinda 2 tails inspired. The hellfire/tails is the spirits body itself. It's physical form. The gen stuff is it's ability and it's eyes. As she forms up she gradually becomes the demon. Its just a tailed beast essentially.

3. If a ninjutsu is turned into an illusion, who is caught in the genjutsu?
Good question. I'm open to working this however, but I figure this is a sight trigger in of itself. (Seeing the fireball as it is converted). Can work it more/clarify it if ya want.


4. What can be turned into a genjutsu?
Really anything.

5. What defines “users skill” for things that can be turned into ninjutsu
- Talked about it above but, to make a Fire Genjutsu an actual fire, she would need katon, etc. She can't make something real she cannot produce on her own.

6. How does a genjutsu become real? If you put Shio in a genjutsu that sees the world on fire, and then make it real, does everyone standing next to Shio suddenly catch on fire with no way to defend against it?
- I mean, would play by the rules of a ninjutsu. The fire would be created as per a ninjutsu, in the same time it takes, with the same sensations etc someone could defend against

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Post by ShinobiTruth » Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:54 am

Okay, so the *general* consensus on this is that while some of the effects in a vacuum might be palatable, several of these things being combined into a single ability slot is a no-go. It's too overloaded. A suggestion that's been offered is to drop the reverse-Sankaton effect and the tail debuffs if you want to keep the Yin Chakra/Heaven-Earth concept.

For my *personal* review, a small thing I need to see is to have it explicitly stated, whether you decide to do that in the ability which allows for the Gen-to-Nin conversion, that you can only convert jutsu for which you have the appropriate concentrations.

The bigger issue that I personally with this concept is that it offers pretty staggering defensive strength imo. Being able to target enemy jutsu and turn them into harmless illusions is pretty powerful, even given the restrictions in place. For these Gen-to-Nin techniques and Nin-to-Gen techniques, I think it's more balanced that you have to outright beat the opponent's Control. I don't think the Strength of the technique should be the determining factor, since that prevents compelling counterplay. Normally, a person casting a jutsu can make the choice as to whether they want to put more of their chakra into the Speed or Strength of a jutsu. The way you have this contest set up railroads that basic counterplay setup pretty hard:

Fireball A: 30 Strength, 30 Speed
Fireball B: 50 Strength, 10 Speed
Fireball C: 10 Strength, 50 Speed

Make it so that all those techs require a higher Control than the opponent, and then supplement those down the line with a series of Control debuff techs that more fully enable their use.

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Post by Taiga » Sat Oct 03, 2020 4:24 am

extension pls

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Post by Taiga » Mon Oct 05, 2020 2:14 am

Okay: So we have genma which grant 10 abilities on one, given the mastery mechanic/9th stat.

So like, not following that logic. Seems very specific to call that on this specific one.
Quote:
For my *personal* review, a small thing I need to see is to have it explicitly stated, whether you decide to do that in the ability which allows for the Gen-to-Nin conversion, that you can only convert jutsu for which you have the appropriate concentrations.
This has been part of the ability/character since the first moment it was posted, and I have further clarified it already.

"This of course is limited only by things the recipient can actually create via their skillset. This also only applies to illusions that can be logically converted into a ninjutsu technique."

If she does not have a katon concentration, it is NOT part of her skillset, and thus, she cannot convert it. I don't think it needs any more explicility, if she CANNOT do it, she cannot convert it. Simple as that- concs, abilities, whatever it requires if she cant do it naturally, she cant do it with this.


@defensive
The jutsu already account for this. No change is needed. It says the control she casts hers with, needs to be of equal or higher in order to perform the conversion (just as normal defensive mechanisms work)

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Post by TheLacarix » Sat Oct 17, 2020 7:09 am

I'm sure Niro has said a 'Hard no' on Gen to Ninjutsu, so this will either need to be removed or you'll need to speak to him about it.
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Post by Taiga » Sat Oct 17, 2020 7:36 am

He can come post in the app. Pretty much everyone else is okay with it after they understood the stipulations/rules about it... Have not heard anything from Niro.

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Post by Ace Trainer » Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:40 pm

Well, now that Niro's gone I guess I have to form a real opinion on this.

Starting off, I'm going to say the overlap between your reverse sankaton and the genjutsu/ninjutsu swapping needs to be sorted out. I don't think I'm onboard with both being in one ability slot + the body mod

So I guess go from there and then we'll discuss the rest once you decide whats staying in the ability.
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Post by Taiga » Fri Jan 08, 2021 7:26 pm

We have genma that give as much as 10 ablities, in one slot, via Nth stat, so I fail to see how this differs.

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Post by Taiga » Mon Jan 18, 2021 9:26 am

What if I make the reverse sankaton a conc then?

https://www.narutosaigen.com/forums/vie ... 8013710/1/

Additionally, I will be rerolling this guy into Mariiiiya. Guidance on how to calculate that up would be good.

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Post by Gilak » Sun Jan 31, 2021 6:15 am

Will bring this up to staff, I wish to learn how a reroll works as well.
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Post by Das Kirb » Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:02 pm

Hey dude. Something was brought to my attention concerning this. This character's second ability kinda does almost exactly what a clan that was registered a month before does. To be fair, I didn't even know the clan existed until just now so forgive that its only being brought up now. For the record, here is the clan in question.

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Post by Taiga » Tue Feb 09, 2021 9:05 pm

Das Kirb:
Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:02 pm
Hey dude. Something was brought to my attention concerning this. This character's second ability kinda does almost exactly what a clan that was registered a month before does. To be fair, I didn't even know the clan existed until just now so forgive that its only being brought up now. For the record, here is the clan in question.
They look very different?? that does hyponsis among other effects

also this has been up for ages since before last month

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Post by ShinobiTruth » Wed Mar 10, 2021 9:40 am

Tengengan <==== Hey, did some digging on this, and unfortunately, it seems the Kuruma beat you to the punch on this. While it's true that it does hypnosis and other stuff that your eye doesn't do, it does, in fact, allow the Kuruma clan members to perceive sensory information, regardless of origin, that the target is experiencing. By what I can discern, this would include the ability to perceive any sort of sensory information the target is receiving and experiencing via an imposed genjutsu. Additionally, I show that Mariya's app was submitted on July 21 of last year, while the Kuruma clan revamp was accepted almost a full month prior and submitted for review even before that point in time (June 22nd is the timestamp both on the clan app itself as well as their revamp thread in the Completed Archive).

Spikes <==== Okay, so is this only one spike or two? The first sentence is singular, but the second is entirely plural. If it's two, this will need to be ranked up per the multi-projectile rule. Also, I don't think you have to restrict this down to two meters since the range would increase based on your Control past the baseline range for a D-Rank of ~10 meters or so.

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Post by Ace Trainer » Fri May 21, 2021 6:20 pm

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Post by Valkier » Sat Jan 08, 2022 4:10 am

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Post by Taiga » Sun Jan 09, 2022 12:32 am

I feel it's different enough from Kuruma clan which is mainly about hypnosis.

Some other things I could offer to appease some concerns:
- Move heaven/hell to Occular Ability, making the Jinch one less overloaded. Also make it that she needs to -view- someones illusion before she can heaven/hell to switch things. IT was originally an occular ability on my first character who had it.

I can play with that idea more.

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Post by Kabu » Sat Jan 22, 2022 2:05 am

Oh! That's a baseball! <- I'm confused about this. Is it just meant to be like a defense or is it something she can actively weaponize? Is it a multi post jutsu, and if so... duration?

Whip Cream <- Duration?

Pulse Wave <- I'm not entirely sure what this is actually supposed to really do. Could you maybe elaborate?

Abilities seem generally fine to me.
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Post by Taiga » Sun Jan 23, 2022 8:30 am

I will address all the jutsu, but before I do any more work on that can I get a final staff weigh in on abilities and such?

I don't want to sink a lot of time into editing the jutsu if the abilities (which they depend on) wind up not being kosher

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Post by Zao » Fri Feb 04, 2022 1:02 am

So, I'm looking at this and just so I'm reading it correctly,

Raw Yin is basically the opposite of what Sankanton does?

IYang Release: Earth ninpou - Turns illusions into reality? Who's the user's or?

Yin Release: Heaven ninpou - Turns ninjutsu techniques into illusions?

Form 3 - Basically a cloak of Raw Yin chakra with tails? But now the chakra has a different effect and drain chakra? Or does it do both the original and the chakra pool debuff?
+5 Control, +5 Willpower, +5 Chakra Pool

Form 4 - Same thing as three but bigger?
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Post by Taiga » Fri Feb 11, 2022 4:11 am

Zao:
Fri Feb 04, 2022 1:02 am
So, I'm looking at this and just so I'm reading it correctly,

Raw Yin is basically the opposite of what Sankanton does?

IYang Release: Earth ninpou - Turns illusions into reality? Who's the user's or?

Yin Release: Heaven ninpou - Turns ninjutsu techniques into illusions?

Form 3 - Basically a cloak of Raw Yin chakra with tails? But now the chakra has a different effect and drain chakra? Or does it do both the original and the chakra pool debuff?
+5 Control, +5 Willpower, +5 Chakra Pool

Form 4 - Same thing as three but bigger?
Correct. It's an opposite sankaton.

Yang -> Any illusion, but it requires her to specifically be able to do it. She can't just see a pile of steam and "make it real". I.E. if she sees a lightning bolt and wants to make it real, she needs to be capable of making a lightning bolt herself, so having appropriate ninjutsu level + raiton.

Yin Release -> Yup. Within reason.

Form 3 and up, yeah.

It's not a different effect; it still eating/sapping chakra... It's just that if your hit a person, the effect is it saps their CP (since it eats the chakra in them but leaves their body unharmed)

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Taiga
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Nakajima Mariya

Post by Taiga » Fri Feb 11, 2022 5:22 am

Can deny this for now as I want to put someone else up. Unless you'll let me have two characters in the registry... because I think Mariya will take a WHILE.

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Nakajima Mariya

Post by Valkier » Fri Feb 11, 2022 6:35 am

Denied again for now on request, go ahead with the next!
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Aisu NaohiroJouninKirigakure no Sato[Unit 12] [HHD] [#BAE0E2] [#70CEE2]
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