[clan] Modoku

Kaitos10
Posts: 756
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 3:34 pm

[clan] Modoku

Post by Kaitos10 » Tue Jun 01, 2021 12:12 pm

[Mōdoku]
General Information Type: clan
Village: Kirigakure
Size: medium(12 families)
Traits: all Mōdoku users usually have pale skin and white hair as the cosmic radiation mutation seems to make their body kill the pigments
Traditions:
traditionsShow
The Modoku is a clan that specializes in poisons and medicine.

They prize efficiency highly maybe even above all else and also believe the ends justify the means except in rare scenarios. They are very dutiful, living by a code of sorts where one good deed deserves another. Of course, there are some exceptions to this rule, most of them revolve around dealing with their enemies.

They are normally ruthless and merciless and view mercy as the thing that gets you killed. They all learn medicine, some more than others since if you know how to heal a person it isn’t as hard to kill them. Another thing that is valuable to them is knowledge, as certain information or skills can be very useful. They value those of high skill in useful areas.

They are a very practical clan and are raised to be aware of their limits as well as their enemies' strength so that they can avoid combat when necessary or if to fall back and begin gorilla tactics.

The clan's hierarchy functions similar to survival of the fittest except instead of fighting capabilities it is usefulness that is judged. Though this way it isn’t only strength that can put you at the top but also other abilities. The top spot functions as a king of sorts, for most purposes he has total control, and as long as he has the clan's best interest and survival in mind it stays like that. He can pretty much do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t violate the two previously stated rules. While the meaning behind the survival of the clan is pretty straightforward in this sense, the rule of what's best for the clan is slightly more complicated, the leader can’t be cruel for cruelty sake for example.

The second spot can be filled multiple times and is the Lieutenants. These are the people who make sure the leader doesn’t go crazy or cause the clan's extinction.
They act as the leader's advisors as well as his royal guard of sorts, they can be anything as long as it is of high use to the clan. The next rank is the teachers. This is a relatively self-explanatory role but is also the only role of varying importance, sometimes teachers are even considered as lieutenants other times there is no better than your average clan's man. The next role is the clansman role, this role consists of any clan member that has something useful to contribute to the clan. People in this role include your average soldier and hunter, the doctors, and almost anything useful to the clan.
Influence:They currently have minimal influence since are a clan new to Kirigakure
History
historyShow
The Modoku first started as wandering nomads who traveled the land as mercenaries and weapons dealers. As time went on they got more and more skilled and advanced, eventually, they started to dip into medicine and soon after that poison. They continued traveling down until the clan got so big it got to the point that they decided to settle down in the Land of Stars.

Soon after settling down they soon got accustomed to Star's merchant government style and became one of the leading families in the country, even being voted to the ruling house once or twice. Though their wares usually involved a much darker side of merchandise such as weapons, drugs, slaves, poison, and murder for hire as well as the occasional star rock. For a long time, things were good and the clan prospered greatly.

When someday a massive star fell from the sky several miles from the Modoku encampment the hit was so devastating it caused a loud boom and shock wave that almost reached their encampment. When they went to investigate they saw a massive crater and in the center was a big glowing meteor the size of two men and twice as wide. They were amazed when they found it and it was still glowing . After some discussion they decided to bring it back to the Village. The real challenge was getting it out of the crater especially when touching it was near impossible without special protection, the rest of the way they could just roll it since it was round.

Eventually, when they got it to the Village the clan marveled at it. It was around this time that Nozomu was born, they figured this was a good omen and hoped that this was the start of the beginning of the golden age of the clan. That night they held a big celebration that lasted late into the night eventually passing out. The next morning they started to wonder what to do with the meteor. Should they keep it or sell it, and if they sell it should it be in pieces or as a whole, but then as they were discussing it someone brought up how it could have possible health benefits.

When they started to discuss this they noticed how the team who spent the time bringing it here had started to become more resistant to the toxins they work with. This got them wondering if spending time with the meteor could grant even greater health benefits. Though some thought it was a hoax, eventually they decided to figure it out by tomorrow. It was around this time that the clan started to develop white hair and their skin started to get paler, this only sparked further debate half the clan wanted to get rid of it because they weren’t sure if the changes it was causing were good or not. The other half stated that they were clearly good and noticed how they were getting sick far less amongst other benefits.

Eventually, the clan leader decided to keep it this caused the unrest to quell for a bit but later on as the others who were convinced of it being a problem tried to find all downsides about the problem with the power of the meteor. It was around this time the other residents of Star started to notice the changes, as time went on people found out that only they were immune and that other people weren’t this caused serious unrest and the clan was on the verge of their first civil war the clan leader tried to convince them that by now getting rid of the meteor was pointless since the changes were most likely already in effect and permanent.

While this helped some it couldn't completely get rid of the unrest and some just wanted it to go back to the way they were before. It was around this time that the current ruling party would get suspicious and investigate them. Soon after that, he would start to get nervous wondering about them and decided to exile the clan from the Land of Stars. This caused deep resentment from the people of the clan who secretly vowed to destroy the ruling family and all who Supported them in exiling them. They then left for a different country eventually.

After being banished from there home they bounced around for a bit until they settled in frost country. It was vastly different from where they grew up in star country but Because it was so far away they could more likely go unheard of and start over easier. As they worked to adapt to there new climate they set themselves up in a underground facility that was far enough away they wouldn’t attract attention but could still reach town in a timely fashion if they needed to. There they perfected there craft experimenting with the nearby heavy metals and other materials to create new poisons and diseases. After awhile they were settled in but a few months later they heard the territory was being attacked by a place called the holy city of towers. Though they didn’t really care who controlled the territory that much so didn’t participate in its defense. Awhile after the changes they decided to move to forest country half because there mining dried up and couldn’t find any more materials in caves around the country without drawing more attention then they would like and half because of the changes and to be closer to the capital of the holy city of towers.

While they were there previously they heard some of earth country and the practices of the land which is why they decided to pass on through after a few months maybe a year of living there. But now that towers was in control they decided to move back to be closer to the capital and worked investigated the caves and wild life there more in-depth to see if they could learn more unique poisons and diseases, venoms and other toxins were fine to. Occasionally they would freelance as doctors here and sometimes in the capital of towers. Some even decided to live in towers territory but as time went on they were eventually drafted into the war. Though they would’ve preferred to avoid being noticed and especially avoid getting involved in a country’s wars that may turn on them after learning everything about them they decided the benefits of complying would out weigh the complications of finding a way to avoid participating.

So most of the clan participated as doctors. As well as occasionally field medics, with a few and unlucky ones being forced to participate as soldiers. Because of that the large majority of the clan was forced to live in the capital city. Though when they lost the war and were given the choice to stay in the new holy city of forests or move to water country they decided to follow the holy mother to water country because they thought that would be the safest move for the clan to grow again. Plus the fact that water country was a major power and the rumors about there methods they figured they were less likely to be kicked out of there for there genetics or proclivities.

When they entered kirigakure people with the eternal mother people were unaware of there significance at the start. But after the meeting where the holy mother was declared a noble having known about there special capabilities she ordered all men of the clan under the age of 40 except for the top 10% of the male doctors to enroll in the kirigakure ninja academy. While all female doctors of the clan had the option to enroll in the ninja academy or work in the families hospitals. Though all members of the clan under the age of 15 were enrolled in the ninja academy regardless of gender. Most of kirigakure ignored them and retreated them like any other normal person though it wasn’t until after they were able to use chakra like anyone else, a few moths after being taught about chakra and how to access it that people started to pay attention to them.

Most people were clearly curious about them and there unique abilities some even realized the potential of there unique kekkai genkai of course due to kiri’s brutal training and promotion to genin trial many of the clans people didn’t make it and died in the process. Though some of them surpassed expectations and did surprisingly well. Shocking all of kiri that the new noble had such a powerful clan. This by extension caused the holy mother to gain more respect as a noble. Eventually the rest of the clan including those that didn’t join the ninja academy were taught about chakra so that they could use there unique abilities to help in the hospitals.

As time went on because of the clans unique abilities and skill in medicine the eternal mothers name started to be mentioned more and more by the common folk and other shinobi. The skilled doctors we’re slowing starting to give the eternal mother a strangle hold on kiri’s health care system. Possibly causing the other noble families to get agitated that the new comers name was spreading so fast. This caused the clans under the other families to sense the anxiety and in addition to the new clans name being spread made them start to feel jealous that a new upstart clan was getting this much attention. While there influence would rapidly grow in kiri so would there enemies. Though perhaps sensing the growing unease amongst the other clans and certain other people the clan made efforts to step back a bit and try and fade more into the shadows so that they would attract less attention and less enemies hopefully until they were strong enough to survive better in the new home they found themselves in. They made learning kiri politics and hoped while they were in the shadows there enemies would slowly forget about them until the time was right.

Shinobi Information Definitions:
Creeping Sickness:
Creeping Sickness
The natural kekkei genkai passed down through the Mōdoku clan, the Creeping Sickness is the enhanced biological immunity that is carried by the clan. Members of the Dokuja clan have an incredible advanced metabolism that makes them effectively immune to common illness and disease. In the case of poison and venoms, Dokuja clan members reduce the efficacy of any poison by half, to include duration. This overactive metabolism results in a -3 in Endurance however.
Dokuton:
Dokuton
A unique concentration typically only useable by members of the Mōdoku clan, the Mōdoku clan is able to use their chakra to produce a gaseous poison inside their body that they can release as jutsu. Clan members are uniquely capable of utilizing these techniques due to their inherited immunity to poisons. At default, Dokuton techniques are produced as a purple mist that can be breathed out, or released through the clan members pores. Dokuton has a deteriorating effect, which reduces the speed in which iijutsu and regeneration works for those poisoned by the techniques. The deteriorating effect works off the following table based off the control used to perform the technique:
  • 1-14 is -1 post on regeneration speed
  • 15-24 is -2 posts on regeneration speed
  • 25-34 is -3 posts on regeneration speed
  • 35+ is -4 posts on regeneration speed
Requirements: must have a Nth mastery stat and must have
5 points of it at d rank
17 for c rank
31 for b rank
42 for a rank
50 for s rank
[/spoiler]

Requirements: must have a Nth mastery stat and must have
Poison release ability the poison immunity one is optional


Kekkei Genkai:

[no code] this ability gives immunity to all forms of poisons, venoms, toxins, diseases and the negative effects of radiation. Though because of this it also weakens there system because the positive effects of radiation have a harder time entering there body causing a -4 to endurance. [/no code]


[no code] this ability gives the users a mastery stat as well as access to the dokuton jutsu also called poison release and a stat boost all of which scales with mastery stat.[/no code]

Clan Jutsu
D RANK
SpoilerShow

ninjutsu thousand years of humiliation
D ranked ninjutsu
Duration 2 posts
This jutsu usually is primarily used by little kids and spiteful people it introduces a concentrated laxative poison that when making contact with skin it makes the user have either explosive diarrhea next post or piss their pants causing -1 debuff to control in addition to having the RP penalty of the humiliation associated with that and how uncomfortable it would be to fight with pants full of shit or piss running down there leg. When it makes contact it seeps into the skin leaving no trace making it perfect for people who want to make it seem like it was the opponent's fault. Because of the nature of this jutsu it requires ooc permission to use.

ninjutsu pink haze
D ranked ninjutsu
Duration 2 posts
The user breathes a plume of smoke that when making contact with the eyes it causes pink eye causing blurry vision. The eyes seem to swell and itch like crazy the pain and itchiness increases with control pain starts a dull throb at 1-10 control and at 45-50 control it causes intense pain that feels like the eye could pop at any moment and an itch similar to poison sumac

ninjutsu painful expansion
D ranked ninjutsu
Duration 4 posts
The user can either direct the poison into bodily fluids such as sweat and saliva because of that this jutsu is best used in close quarters. It makes a random body part swell up painfully feeling like it’s about to pop and becomes more sensitive to pain. The effects increase depending on control. Starts at a 5% increase in pain at 1-10 and goes up to double the pain they feel at 45-50 control

ninjutsu burning hell
D ranked ninjutsu
Duration 4 posts
The user of this jutsu can emit a slime-like substance they spit that on contact tricks the skin into feeling like it’s on fire. The pain from the burning feeling is equal to control, this also causes a small fever. The feeling feels like first degree burns at 1-10 control and 4th-degree burns at 45-50 control

ninjutsu poison funnel
D rank ninjutsu
Duration 2 posts
This jutsu causes the user to suck up all sources of poison, diseases, and other toxins in range
C RANK
SpoilerShow

ninjutsu rocking uneasy sea
C ranked ninjutsu
Duration 4 post
The user of this jutsu creates a plumb of smoke that they shoot out of their mouth the smoke envelops the target and if breathed in at all the target will start puking uncontrollably as well as having stomach pains as the target's stomach slowly eats away at itself. The pain the user feels is tied to control 1-10 control is a small tingle and prick and 45-50 control is feeling like there being stabbed or haven’t eaten in two weeks

ninjutsu blurry mirror world
C ranked ninjutsu
Duration 4 posts
The user creates a colorless scentless mist with the exception of the faint purple hue that accompanies all Doku jutsu the mist can envelop a large area, and obscure vision everyone inside that breathes in this jutsu will be struck with intense vertigo as their sense of balance shifts dramatically and gains a painful ear-piercing ringing noise in their ears the pain from the ringing increases with control at 5-10 it only is a dull throb and at 45-50 it feels like their eardrum just popped

ninjutsu visions of corruption
C ranked ninjutsu
Range 5 meters for every 5 points of control
Duration 7 posts
The user of this jutsu will be able to detect all chakra based poisons, diseases, and other toxins or abnormal chakra with similar effects within their field of vision. As well as living creatures affected by chakra based poisons, diseases and other toxins. First post user tells the user that a chakra based poison, disease or toxin exists if the user continues to focus on the source of the poison, disease or toxin for a second post they learn more info on it. Such as whether it’s a poison disease or other type of toxin as well as what type of poison, disease and other toxin it is. Finally if focusing on the source for three posts they gain the remaining info on the poison, disease or other toxins there using the jutsu on. This jutsu doesn’t apply the usual passive

ninjutsu cleansing spirit
C ranked ninjutsu
Duration two posts
The user of this jutsu is able to cleanse the target of all chakra based poisons, diseases and other toxins that they have previously identified through various medical jutsu in the past or if they have knowledge of the poison. This jutsu doesn’t apply the passive

Ninjutsu poison clone
C ranked ninjutsu
The user gathers his chakra and after performing the necessary hand seals is able to gather air in his lungs. While bringing it up through his esophagus he imbues it with poison that lines the esophagus through the mucus membrane. When it is finally dispelled from the mouth it takes the form of the user and acts as a bunshin clone. Since the clones are made of poison vapors they are not able to touch the physical world. But also can’t be touched by normal physical attacks making them harder to dispel then normal clones However, they are able to perform any C-rank jutsu known by the user that utilizes poison. When the clones disperse due to damage dealt or a particularly strong wind or sent away by the user they turn back into formless vapors

B RANK
SpoilerShow

Ninjutsu Plagued Caress
B ranked ninjutsu
Duration 5 posts
Forming two hand seals, the user passes an internalized poison into their outer skin particles. This creates an aura of venom centered on the user that affects all things in range. This venom can also be transferred from the sweat and skin particles to a weapon such as a kunai or shuriken. Upon skin contact, with the aura the target will be effected through the pores of the skin and entering the bloodstream. Experience skin necrosis and experience pain equal to control as well as have the skin slowly fall off over the course of the jutsu at control speed unless treated. Making them more susceptible to other environmental factors.

Ninjutsu virulent hydra
B ranked ninjutsu
Duration 7 posts or until destroyed
Range can shoot 70 meters long and the breath blasts have a 2 meter for every 5 points of control aoe effect
A technique, where the user breathes forth a great hydra created of poison thirty meters [30m] tall and ten meters [10m] wide, with a wingspan of fifty meters [50m]. This solid incarnation of poison will then be sent off towards the opponent. Letting forth great bursts of poison which cause chemical burns at control strength and when inhaled will slowly begin to paralyze the body for one [2] posts Each breath blast increases the amount of posts a target remains paralyzed by one post, for a maximum of four [4] posts. The technique ends with the hydra smashing into the ground, letting off a great deal of the same deadly poison in a cloud.

Ninjutsu eternal sleep
B ranked ninjutsu
Duration lasts forever as long as the user stays still and has chakra last for 5 posts after they first move.
Range 40m plus 10m for every post the user stands still
The user performs the necessary hand seals and then while holding down the Ox seal will breathe in deeply and then out through his nose. The poison in the mucus membrane will seep into the air pushed out through the nose and produce an colorless sleeping gas smelling of burning incense. As long as the user remains still the gas will spread [10m] every post after in every direction. If the victim(s) become aware of what is happening they are more resistant to its effects and only need to get out of the affected area in order to avoid the dangers of falling asleep. After one [1] rotation, victims will begin to feel drowsy and tired, passing out after [4] rotations, requiring notable physical force to wake them up. If they stay in it for 5 posts they enter a coma and sleep until treated with b rank iijutsu if they stay in for 6 posts there organs start to shut down. If they stay for 7 posts they enter a deep coma and require a rank iijutsu or they enter a vegatative state if they go for 8 posts inside the mist they die in there sleep peacefully. Due to its lack of identifiable visible source beyond the smell, it would take prior knowledge of the technique or some way to sense or see the chakra to recognize an individual might be in danger and react accordingly. Once chakra is no longer being supplied the technique will immediately end.

Ninjutsu dragon breath jutsu
B ranked ninjutsu
Range shoots 50m long and has a 20m aoe
The user molds chakra into their mouth before spewing out five blasts of solidified dokuton chakra that can take the form of a poison or disease. Upon making contact with a solid object, it explodes in an enveloping cloud that reaches 20 meter radius, that when breathed in or seeping into a wound will cause the opponent to start to have audio and visual hallucinations after 3 posts. Once the poison sets into effect, the target sees everyone around them as their worst enemies face or if they have none, some horrific monster instead and while the jutsu is in effect they can’t tell who is an ally and who’s a foe possibly going berserk for 5 posts.
A RANK
SpoilerShow



Ninjutsu advanced virulent clone
A ranked ninjutsu
This potent clone technique is a more powerful version of the [Poison Clone]. Forming a few hand seals, the user concentrates chakra and can rapidly grow clones from their body. They are able to take a single hit of equal rank before dispersing. What makes these clones dangerous though is that they can transmit a deadly poison or disease that acts as a blood thinner as well as makes them bleed from all orifices and the eyes. They can transmit it either by physical contact or by inhalation of the gas they disperse when destroyed. Due to not being directly administered, the poison of these clones only lasts four [4] posts, making any extraneous activity difficult for that time due to the poison.

Ninjutsu plague mist
A ranked ninjutsu
The user performs the necessary hand seals and then channels chakra into their very skin. By doing this they enlarge the pores on their body to even greater proportions then what is normally humanly possible. Once that step is completed the user emits toxins from their sweat glands in a bitter almond scented fume that clings to the body and is visible like steam. Chakra is required to maintain the enlarged pores and allow the fumes to continue to escape the body, but no further hand seals are required unless the technique is halted in which case it will need to be activated once more. The fumes do not need to be ingested or introduced directly through the bloodstream, merely remaining within the cloud's range allows the poison to seep through the victim’s skin and attack their tissue and internal organs. As the gas seeps into the body it begins to attack the tissue by causing histotoxic hypoxia, preventing cells in the blood from taking up or using oxygen. The lack of oxygen being used by the body begins to systematically shut down organs that are sensitive to low oxygen levels. The poison requires seven [4] posts to fully seep in, but after one [1] post the victim will suffer from a difficulty to breathe, dilated pupils, and an irregular heart rhythm as every organ struggles to use what oxygen it can manage. After three [3] posts the rapid shallow breathing alters to abnormally slow respiration as liquid fills the lungs. After five [5] posts the lack of oxygen making its way to the brain and lungs will cause the organs to cease function, sending the target into shock. If one can escape the fumes within the first rotation then they will recover from the effects after taking a rotation to breathe in fresh oxygen. However, if they have been under the effects for two [2] rotations or more, a medical ninja will be required to ease symptoms and reintroduce oxygen back into the body

Ninjutsu Dark rain
A ranked ninjutsu
Duration needles rain for two posts poison lasts 5 posts
The user performs a string of hand seals before spewing forth a massive cloud of venom for one [1] post, condensing in the air roughly fifty meters [50m] high in the sky. After performing the seal of confrontation, the cloud will condense into senbon-like needles and begin to rain down. These needles have control strength with high enough control they have the power to pierce 5mm of steel, easily allowing them to penetrate skin and bone with ease. Once they penetrate after 1 post the user is affected they experience issues with there nervous system and chakra network causing the chakra network to run wild and doubles the passive of Dokuton jutsu this jutsu is especially bad for elemental bodies because it slows there regeneration and gives them the same effects as cancer. As well as debuffing them for -8 control.
S RANK
SpoilerShow

Ninjutsu plague blast
S ranked
A technique which can render even the strongest shinobi unable to fight due to extreme pain by attacking the pain center of the brain and tricking it. By infusing a highly concentrated disease into one's mouth, the user will spew forth a massive plume of diseased gas that will swallow up all in range; upon skin being exposed, an affected individual's skin will begin to start develop angry, red boils roughly four centimeters [4cm] wide and two centimeters [2cm] tall to appear all over the body. As well as abnormal bone growths as well as extreme pain. Causing the target to lose -5 strength and speed For every one [1] post a target is within the poison cloud past the first, they lose a additional-6 strength and speed up to a limit of 4 stacks though if they manage to leave the cloud then the debuff stops stacking and looses a stack of debuffs each post until all debuffs removed after 4 posts
The pain caused, however, bumps up the rank of Genjutsu the user can break out from [if affected] by one rank

Ninjutsu hundred plague bringers
S ranked
Duration crows last 10 posts or until destroyed as mentioned in jutsu.
By drawing up a mass of chakra and combining it with internalized toxins and diseases, the user forcibly expels the energy as a strange, gaseous substance that appears to glisten eerily. Barely a second after exiting the user’s mouth, the gas takes the form of a flock of crows. These dangerous creatures swarm the area, leaving fumes behind them that hinder visibility. At the user’s will, they can attack any given target so long as they do not stray too far from their creator. Being that they have the ability to turn into incoporeal gas at will the danger they present is twofold – they can inflict wounds that, whilst causing minor surface damage, infect a victim with a combination of anthrax and cyanide or they can smother targets with noxious gases that will produce a similar effect if taken into the mouth, nose or lungs. Though once they change to incoporeal they can’t change back. One connecting strike is enough to dispel a corporal bird, but flesh contact will transmit the deadly disease or poison or both. Also once hit they explode in a burst of gas and liquid gunk so they are best dealt with at range. Though the user can stop this on a case by case basis by shutting off chakra to the individual bird preventing the death throws. Considering their speed equals control however, this is no easy task sometimes. The user can create up to 100 different crows.
Last edited by Kaitos10 on Tue Apr 26, 2022 3:08 pm, edited 61 times in total.
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[clan] Modoku

Post by hobnob » Fri Jun 04, 2021 2:06 pm

Just a small point, I think you should go through this and just do some corrections, make sure grammar, punctuation and the layout are alright. Stick the jutsu into spoilers so its easier to read.
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[clan] Modoku

Post by Ace Trainer » Sun Jun 20, 2021 12:39 pm

3 days
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[clan] Modoku

Post by Kaitos10 » Sun Jun 20, 2021 3:34 pm

Dot:
Fri Jun 04, 2021 2:06 pm
Just a small point, I think you should go through this and just do some corrections, make sure grammar, punctuation and the layout are alright. Stick the jutsu into spoilers so its easier to read.
Fixed all that I think
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[clan] Modoku

Post by hobnob » Sun Jun 20, 2021 4:39 pm

Okay, now go through your jutsu and give them a quantifiable metric for the range
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[clan] Modoku

Post by Kaitos10 » Mon Jun 21, 2021 9:13 pm

Dot:
Sun Jun 20, 2021 4:39 pm
Okay, now go through your jutsu and give them a quantifiable metric for the range
Fixed that
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Post by Kabu » Sun Jul 11, 2021 6:47 pm

I'm aware that this is still being worked on so I have just one note

ninjutsu thousand years of humiliation <-Techniques like this require express permission from the other party and it should be noticed as such. Would also be nice if it was reworded a bit. A lot of the extra detail seems a little unnecessary.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Tue Jul 13, 2021 5:41 am

Kabu:
Sun Jul 11, 2021 6:47 pm
I'm aware that this is still being worked on so I have just one note

ninjutsu thousand years of humiliation <-Techniques like this require express permission from the other party and it should be noticed as such. Would also be nice if it was reworded a bit. A lot of the extra detail seems a little unnecessary.
Honestly other then changing everything that previously said iwa to kiri or maybe finding a better way to be introduced to kiri I have no idea what you mean by still needs to be worked on

Though in the process of fixing those parts now.

Also fixed your problem with the jutsu by adding a line that says requires ooc permission.
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Post by Ace Trainer » Sun Oct 17, 2021 3:16 pm

What is the status on this.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:30 pm

Ace Trainer:
Sun Oct 17, 2021 3:16 pm
What is the status on this.
It’s ready to be approved over all just need make small changes that says changing from iwa to kiri and just waiting on the rp with holy mother to be finished since need that for clan to be accepted into kiri
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Post by Niro » Sat Dec 18, 2021 6:55 pm

Shinobiyoru byōki ((creeping sickness)) is a rare and unique ability only certain members of the clan have. <-I'd get rid of this entirely. It's going to seriously hamper interest in the clan for members to join.

This ability gives the user passive immunity to all poisons venoms diseases, viral infections, and toxins, <-This is way too strong. They should develop immunity to poisons they come into contact with after the first exposure, not any and all.

They can also use their bodily fluids to cure any poison venom, disease, or toxin they have previously come in contact with and have stored in their chakra and body <-This is just better iijutsu. This should be more along the lines of 'can ingest poisons afflicting others' and then developing or relying on their immunity to negate it.

Requirements: must have a high chakra pool must have 11 points of chakra a d rank
Then 20 for c rank
31 for b rank
40 for a rank
50 for s rank <-These CP plus Control requirements are WAY too strict. No one is going to want to join. You have requirements of over 10 and 15 over the norm at points in not one but TWO stats. These need to be reduced to 2-3 above their rank average or removed altogether.

Kekkei Genkai: caused by cosmic radiation they got from a sizable fallen star. <-Doesn't really make sense in the context of the world; easier explanation is the usual spirit fucked the clan founder. Adjustments based on previous comments about strength and methods as well. I'll look over the jutsu once these are changed.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:48 pm

Niro:
Sat Dec 18, 2021 6:55 pm
This ability gives the user passive immunity to all poisons venoms diseases, viral infections, and toxins, <-This is way too strong. They should develop immunity to poisons they come into contact with after the first exposure, not any and all.
I was told this is ok since poison is rarely used plus on top of that izanagi has a body mod that is very similar and it isn’t a problem so I fail to see how this is to strong
Niro:
Sat Dec 18, 2021 6:55 pm
They can also use their bodily fluids to cure any poison venom, disease, or toxin they have previously come in contact with and have stored in their chakra and body <-This is just better iijutsu. This should be more along the lines of 'can ingest poisons afflicting others' and then developing or relying on their immunity to negate it.
Can you please explain this further in discord? Like do you mean I can use a jutsu to suck out the poison or disease from them or do you mean something else

Niro:
Sat Dec 18, 2021 6:55 pm
Shinobiyoru byōki ((creeping sickness)) is a rare and unique ability only certain members of the clan have. <-I'd get rid of this entirely. It's going to seriously hamper interest in the clan for members to join.

Requirements: must have a high chakra pool must have 11 points of chakra a d rank
Then 20 for c rank
31 for b rank
40 for a rank
50 for s rank <-These CP plus Control requirements are WAY too strict. No one is going to want to join. You have requirements of over 10 and 15 over the norm at points in not one but TWO stats. These need to be reduced to 2-3 above their rank average or removed altogether.
Fixed this
Niro:
Sat Dec 18, 2021 6:55 pm
Kekkei Genkai: caused by cosmic radiation they got from a sizable fallen star. <-Doesn't really make sense in the context of the world; easier explanation is the usual spirit fucked the clan founder. Adjustments based on previous comments about strength and methods as well. I'll look over the jutsu once these are changed.
Ahhhh my inspiration was from the filler arc with Naruto where he visted the village hidden in the stars where the ninjas there whorshiped a radioactive metorite
So would prefer to keep this if possible but if your saying nothing from space is allowed then don’t mind changing it
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Post by Gilak » Fri Dec 31, 2021 7:59 am

Shinobiyoru byōki ((creeping sickness)) . Every so often a clan member is born with an innate knack for it, normally you can tell during the Academy and sometimes before.
<-- This refers to some of the clan has the ability to create poison. What about the rest of the clan? A KKG is a Bloodline locked jutsu. If a member of the clan isn't born with this does it mean that they can't learn the poison jutsu? In my opinion that is very restricted and I would more than likely just remove this line of text since most people who would want to be into this clan would want to have the creeping sickness.

must have a high chakra pool must have 7 points of chakra a d rank
Then 12 for c rank
20 for b rank
31 for a rank
42 for s rank

must have the same amounts of points in control as they do in chakra to use that tier of jutsu to help control the poisons in their chakra. So if they have 50 in chakra but only 40 in control even if they know it as an s rank Doku jutsu they can’t use it but can still use all previous tiers they meet. Same if they have 40 in chakra and 50 in control.

<-- All of this can be put into the jutsu definition itself, like there are requirements to be able to learn certain level of jutsu. I agree with Niro that needing to have your Control and Chakrapool to be on the same level would make alot of people not want to join this clan. I would personally make this ability into a Nth Mastery Stat. It would eliminate the need to raise both the chakra and Control stats on equal level and it would allow your clans members to unlock stronger poisons and poison immunities at specific thresholds without completely eradicating the chance of the clan having Taijutsu or Genjutsu builds.

The way that your KKG is formated for some reason just doesn't sit right while trying to read it. I, not sure if it's just me though.
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Post by Niro » Fri Dec 31, 2021 11:30 am

Just because poisons are rarely used doesn't mean they aren't strong. An A-rank poison can wreck most character builds. Iza's Immunity body mod takes up an entire ability slot without giving the ability to produce and manipulate poisons.

This is literally just 'different' chakra that can deal with poisons better than normal iijutsu can. There's nothing defining the method/copyright of what they do besides their chakra is different. Animals that store and manipulate poison tend to have glands or other methods of secretion/application.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Fri Dec 31, 2021 3:47 pm

Niro:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 11:30 am
Just because poisons are rarely used doesn't mean they aren't strong. An A-rank poison can wreck most character builds. Iza's Immunity body mod takes up an entire ability slot without giving the ability to produce and manipulate poisons.
I never said it didn’t takes its own ability slot I just said that is part of the clan I wish you would’ve asked me instead of just assuming that’s what I was doing
Niro:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 11:30 am
This is literally just 'different' chakra that can deal with poisons better than normal iijutsu can. There's nothing defining the method/copyright of what they do besides their chakra is different. Animals that store and manipulate poison tend to have glands or other methods of secretion/application.


What do you mean by nothing defining the method/copyright? So poison chakra isn’t allowed as a copyright?

Also there chakra is the poison so it’s different from animals that store and manipulate poison

Also fail to see how this is superior iijutsu considering iijutsu can do more while this is focused only on poisons it’s not like it can heal injuries and similar stuff also.
Gilak:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 7:59 am
Shinobiyoru byōki ((creeping sickness)) . Every so often a clan member is born with an innate knack for it, normally you can tell during the Academy and sometimes before.
<-- This refers to some of the clan has the ability to create poison. What about the rest of the clan? A KKG is a Bloodline locked jutsu. If a member of the clan isn't born with this does it mean that they can't learn the poison jutsu? In my opinion that is very restricted and I would more than likely just remove this line of text since most people who would want to be into this clan would want to have the creeping sickness.
Ahhhh Ok thanks didn’t know that line was also a problem i already removed the line that niro mentioned that said that only certain clan members could get the kkg but if you think that line is a problem also I can fix it
Gilak:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 7:59 am
must have a high chakra pool must have 7 points of chakra a d rank
Then 12 for c rank
20 for b rank
31 for a rank
42 for s rank

must have the same amounts of points in control as they do in chakra to use that tier of jutsu to help control the poisons in their chakra. So if they have 50 in chakra but only 40 in control even if they know it as an s rank Doku jutsu they can’t use it but can still use all previous tiers they meet. Same if they have 40 in chakra and 50 in control.

<-- All of this can be put into the jutsu definition itself, like there are requirements to be able to learn certain level of jutsu. I agree with Niro that needing to have your Control and Chakrapool to be on the same level would make alot of people not want to join this clan. I would personally make this ability into a Nth Mastery Stat. It would eliminate the need to raise both the chakra and Control stats on equal level and it would allow your clans members to unlock stronger poisons and poison immunities at specific thresholds without completely eradicating the chance of the clan having Taijutsu or Genjutsu builds.
Ahhh ok that could work and most likely will change it to that but before I do wouldnt it limit people in other ways also like no genma or special gear or other things like swarms if I did that?
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Post by Gilak » Tue Jan 04, 2022 9:36 pm

Kaito:
Ahhh ok that could work and most likely will change it to that but before I do wouldnt it limit people in other ways also like no genma or special gear or other things like swarms if I did that?


This is True however its far less limiting than locking them only into a ninjutsu build.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Sun Jan 09, 2022 1:08 pm

Gilak:
Tue Jan 04, 2022 9:36 pm
Kaito:
Ahhh ok that could work and most likely will change it to that but before I do wouldnt it limit people in other ways also like no genma or special gear or other things like swarms if I did that?


This is True however its far less limiting than locking them only into a ninjutsu build.
Ok thanks for the suggestion good to know just fixed that
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Post by Gilak » Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:14 pm

½
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Post by Valkier » Wed Jan 26, 2022 6:24 am

I think there's still a bit of stuff to tackle here unfortunately. I think the overall idea is fine, but it's quite difficult to follow and not very well defined in places. It could still use some grammar checks and reformatting here and there.

For "Size: Medium" can you give a rough approximation in numbers - e.g. is it more like 5 families or 25 families in size?

Regarding the influence and history I'd like to see more about how they came to be part of Kirigakure. How long ago was it, which of the great houses did they align with, and how? (reference info about kiri here: https://www.narutosaigen.com/forums/vie ... 8&t=988895). A new clan with a unique kekkai genkai coming into the village would be a big deal, it should get more than a brief mention.
Kaitos10:
Tue Jun 01, 2021 12:12 pm
Definitions: Shinobiyoru byōki ((creeping sickness)) . Every so often a clan member is born with an innate knack for it, normally you can tell during the Academy and sometimes before. By then they have already been granted immunity to things like the common cold. This Kekkei Genkai ability gives the user the ability to merge the poisons in their body and the air with their bodily fluids and chakra provided they meet the conditions. Such as high enough control stat and chakra stat. Since they are immune to poison and disease That means they can eat anything for its nutritional value.

this ability gives the user the ability to use a new type of chakra called poison chakra or Doku affinity they can then use this chakra to perform unique jutsu as well as infuse it into bodily fluids. Only one poison, venom, disease, or toxin type at a time can be infused in a given jutsu unless otherwise specified. This ability gives the user passive immunity to all poisons venoms diseases, viral infections, and toxins, They can also use their bodily fluids to cure any poison venom, disease, or toxin they have previously come in contact with and have stored in their chakra and body.

Requirements: must have a Nth mastery stat and must have
7 points of it at d rank
Then 12 for c rank
20 for b rank
31 for a rank
40 for s rank

Kekkei Genkai: this ability gives the user immunity to all poisons, diseases, venoms, and toxins
The ability to use a unique chakra type called Doku or in English poison release in the form of concentration below
A mutated form of chakra passed down through the generations of the Modoku clan, caused by cosmic radiation they got from a sizable fallen star. called [Dokuton] works in the opposite direction of typical lijutsu ninjutsu, damaging biological processes rather than improving them. The usual effect and main use of most Dokuton chakra is damage over time.

Those infected can use appropriate medical ninjutsu to remove the infection. Afterward, any wounds suffered or otherwise will remain, but other symptoms will clear up

Finally the ability to cure poisons, diseases, venoms, and toxins they had previously come in contact with.
Poison:
Poison Affinity
A character with this concentration is able to use [Dokuton] and can make use of any custom archived jutsu that uses [Dokuton]. Dokuton jutsu have the passive effect of [immuno suppression.] Dokuton jutsu can have a variety of effects that mimic natural diseases, disorders, and toxic effects such as poisons and venoms.
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Code: Select all

[quote=Poison][color=purple][b]Poison Affinity[/b][/color]
A character with this concentration is able to use [Dokuton] and can make use of any custom archived jutsu that uses [Dokuton]. Dokuton jutsu have the passive effect of [immuno suppression.] Dokuton  jutsu can have a variety of effects that mimic natural diseases, disorders, and toxic effects such as poisons and venoms. [/quote]

This passive reduces regeneration speeds and chakra pool by weakening the affected target with this chakra. Doku’s effect is [b]immuno suppression[/b], which means that all Doku jutsu, regardless of effect, start and spread Dokuton chakra. To those who know the jutsu or are very familiar with it the jutsu is immediately recognizable as a moderately faint purple light is constantly emitted by any jutsu that uses the immuno suppression effect Otherwise, each only lasts for a number of posts dependent on the jutsu used. 


 [list][*]1-14 Strength Requirement: decrease regeneration speeds by 1 post [*]15-24 Strength Requirement: decrease regeneration speeds by 2 posts [*]25-34 Strength Requirement: decrease regeneration speeds by 3 posts [*]35+ Strength Requirement:  35+ does what 25-34 does as well as reduces chakra pool by -3[/list]
I think we can clean these sections up a bit and make things clearer. At the moment, the text under Definitions, Requirements, and Kekkai Genkai sounds like all part of the same thing, and you have a loose concentration at the bottom which isn't necessary -- an ability like this shouldn't need a separate concentration, it would all be included in the single ability slot.

Under "Definitions", the creeping sickness writeup could include the explanation that [Dokuton] is a poison release that manipulates the natural poisonous nature of the user's chakra. I would remove the parts about 'meeting the requirements such as high control and chakra stats' - firstly because the ability now functions off of an Nth stat instead of those, and secondly because those requirements should be either be well-defined as part of the Nth stat writeup, or part of individual jutsu as needed). It may be a good idea to describe here what form Dokuton jutsu can take - for example you mention it works like Iijutsu (i.e. pushing chakra directly in someone's body) but lots of your jutsu describe Dokuton like a particulate style, making a mist or liquid which poisons on contact. I don't see a problem with it doing both, but it should be described so that people understand what is/isn't possible.
Does the clan member's Dokuton chakra look different from regular chakra at all, can you tell it's different visually?
This section should also quote a complete, formatted ability writeup. Include here the "Nth stat" details and stat progression table -- don't leave it to the end-user to name and determine. Also merge in the Dokuton concentration details.

The "Requirements" should set out what are the essential parts or traits a new character must comply with. Since this isn't an elemental release you won't want things like an Affinity restriction, and you no longer have startup Control or Chakra Pool requirements if you're using an Nth stat, so... Perhaps this section can be omitted. Merge the Nth stat writeup/table into the ability description below.

For the "Kekkai Genkai" section you should put the formatted and no-coded version of the ability write-up that people will copy over to their character sheets in their ability slot, similar to what you've done with the Dokuton concentration. Make sure the passive is visible (at the moment it's just hidden in the nocode) and runs off of the new nth stat for strength.

You correctly point out that Izanagi's character already has a similar accepted ability (poison immunity), but his ability also applies a permanent Endurance debuff as a balancing point. My gut feeling was this should have a similar balancing point in it -- although if you're going with an Nth stat (an expanded ability) perhaps that accounts for enough.

All jutsu should be formatted per the archive styles, for example:
*[color=###][b]Name in bold[/b][/color]
[i]x-Rank Ninjutsu[/i]
Plain text description

Ranges don't need to be in the description as these are part of the jutsu rules. Unfortunately I ran out of time checking more of these so we can return to the rest later.

Ninjutsu plague blast -> This sounds like a Continuous Debuff (which is applied every post the target stays in the area) but I don't know what you intend. Does the target have to stay inside the poison cloud to be debuffed? Or is the poison cloud just the method of transmission, and the Dokuton is inside the target debuffing their body from within?
If it's a continuous debuff from the cloud, at 50 Control the maximum it can debuff is -12 (you have it at -16). It also needs a maximum duration of 5 posts before it stops stacking, and the debuff fades after leaving the poison cloud.
If it's a regular debuff (poison cloud just for transmission) then it follows the standard debuff rules, & we must consider that it's being done at range (so up-ranked difficulty a.k.a. de-ranked effectiveness). In this case I'd say lower the debuff to -14 @ 50 control.
The pain caused, however, bumps up the rank of Genjutsu the user can break out from [if affected] by one rank -> I guess this is okay but it probably doesn't need to be in the description, it's more down to responsible RP.

Ninjutsu hundred plague bringers -> How are the birds semi-corporeal? They sound physical, probably mostly gaseous but able to solidify on impact.
they "infect a victim with a combination of anthra and cyanide or they can smother targets with noxious gases that will produce a similar effect if taken into the mouth, nose or lungs." instead of referring to real toxins like anthrax and cyanide, just describe the actual effects. I don't know what those chemicals do and so if I was hit with this jutsu I would not understand what was meant to happen.
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Post by Nick » Sat Feb 12, 2022 1:13 pm

Any update coming on this, Anime?

3 days.
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Post by Kaitos10 » Mon Feb 14, 2022 11:09 am

Lord-High-Lord of the Frogs:
Sat Feb 12, 2022 1:13 pm
Any update coming on this, Anime?

3 days.
Yes been working on it but haven’t made all the changes requested only about half the changes
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Post by Nick » Mon Feb 14, 2022 11:20 am

Thanks for the reply.

Extension granted.
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Post by Valkier » Wed Mar 02, 2022 9:55 am

How are you coming along with this anime, any progress?
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Post by Kaitos10 » Wed Mar 02, 2022 10:40 am

Yes just need to add in the history and fix the plague bringers jutsu and am I’m done with all your changes
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Post by Kao » Sat Mar 05, 2022 11:15 am

Let us know when you've finished updating this so I can put fresh eyes on this
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Ishiwara SetsunaChuunin Iwagakure no Sato[color=#E81D1D]
Enkouten Mai Jounin Iwagakure no Sato [color=#CE5412]
Aisu Namie Chuunin Kirigakure no Sato [color=#5bc2d4]
Awai FusaeA-Rank MNKonohagakure no Sato[color=#D95FEA]
Important NPCsShow
Akari Kanehara Akari clan elder [color=#80A0FF]
Sakata KannaIwagakure Councilwoman [color=#3DA43B]
Hazuki Shuran Jinchuuriki researcher [color=#E854C0]
Enkouten Kaizen Iwagakure councilman, clan leader [color=#C65871]
Rock Country Daimyo [color=#AC4A4A]

Kaitos10
Posts: 756
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 3:34 pm

[clan] Modoku

Post by Kaitos10 » Sun Mar 06, 2022 11:43 am

Ok sounds good trying to figure out how to do the history and haven’t had time or inspiration yet for it
“my charactersShow
Konoha geninIzumi haruka
Kiri genin Karagata Nozomi
Minor country genin Desumonsuta
Iwagakure jinch Enkouton Hiroko

Kaitos10
Posts: 756
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 3:34 pm

[clan] Modoku

Post by Kaitos10 » Wed Mar 09, 2022 1:56 pm

Fixed it all I think
“my charactersShow
Konoha geninIzumi haruka
Kiri genin Karagata Nozomi
Minor country genin Desumonsuta
Iwagakure jinch Enkouton Hiroko

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