[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

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yaksha
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by yaksha » Wed Apr 06, 2016 4:58 pm

Application: Yaksha
Change: Adding the following ability:
Nergal's Rot:
After consuming the flesh of a spirit, Yaksha's chakra has become a dangerous, unwieldy thing, almost alive in its own right. His chakra has taken on a black tinge, which is imparted to all of his elemental jutsu as well, causing his Suiton and Fuuton jutsu to appear black. More importantly, his chakra interacts with normal chakra oddly; as soon as any of his jutsu come in contact with a creature that has a properly functioning chakra system, it seeks out the tenketsu, clustering around them, and allowing the target's chakra to leak out freely. In an attempt to purify Yaksha's chakra and turn it into something more natural, their body will release pure chakra from their tenketsu, losing an amount of stamina eqivalent to a jutsu of the appropriate rank until their body is able to produce more chakra from its natural processes, after 5 posts. This stamina debuff is split equally between all viable targets, meaning an S-rank jutsu that strikes 3 targets will steal 4 stamina from each target. The maximum amount he can sap from any target is equal to one third of his (control+ninjutsu).

Not without its drawbacks, Yaksha's new chakra is far less easy to control and shape, giving him a permanent decrease of -5 to his control stat. In addition, all of his jutsu automatically end after draining the appropriate amount of stamina from targets, making his defenses easy to disrupt or destroy if a target is able to make contact with them.
Payment: No payment, that I know of. I'll add one in once this is properly reviewed.

[S-rank Missing-ninKirigakureYaksha • • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:4 C:9 D:0]

[Jounin • Konohagakure • Haidou • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0]

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Checkmate
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Checkmate » Wed Apr 06, 2016 5:32 pm

I think this would need a plot board. I'm not sure what rank, but since it's changing his chakra I'd think B. You can double check, though.

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yaksha
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by yaksha » Wed Apr 06, 2016 5:37 pm

That was my initial thought, yeah. I figured I'd go on a hunt for a very old spirit and eat its flesh. Or possibly involve fighting his own swarm, finding some way to get to their spirit dimension and consuming them himself.

[S-rank Missing-ninKirigakureYaksha • • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:4 C:9 D:0]

[Jounin • Konohagakure • Haidou • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0]

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Ace Trainer
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Ace Trainer » Sun Apr 17, 2016 4:02 am

Its not possible to enter the spiritual realm, for the record. So the premise of this ability is possible. Just as a note. I will give a more indepth review shortly.
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[Futokutei Hitoare :: Konohagakure No Sato – Pestilence (Four Horsemen) – Jounin]
[Aisu Koiji :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
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yaksha
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by yaksha » Sun Apr 17, 2016 8:37 pm

I could have him track down a spirit in the human world, then.

I initially figured it'd be somewhat akin to when Naruto was dragged to the Frog realm to learn Sage Mode, but I wasn't sure if this site had any equivalent, or planned on adding one.

As a helpful note, I'd say this is largely meant to be a variation on the Shioke clan, overall. Yaksha's jutsu cause a stamina drain, somewhat akin to how the salt clan does. His just operates a bit differently.

[S-rank Missing-ninKirigakureYaksha • • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:4 C:9 D:0]

[Jounin • Konohagakure • Haidou • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0]

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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Ace Trainer » Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:53 am

I d c how you do it, I was just letting you know that the current way its written is not possible within our canon.
Quote:
More importantly, his chakra appears to interact with normal chakra oddly; as soon as any of his jutsu come in contact with a creature that has a properly functioning chakra system, it seems to seek out the tenketsu, turning them semi-permeable, and allowing the user's chakra to leak out freely.
This sentence is written with a lot of "ifs" or like...passive questions, basically. "seems" or "appears". This should be written concretely, specifically how it works. "when his chakra come in contact with anyone or thing with tenketsu, it opens them..." blah blah blah.

That being said, that statement seems to contradict
Quote:
In an attempt to purify Yaksha's chakra and turn it into something more natural, their body will release pure chakra from their tenketsu, losing an amount of stamina eqivalent to a jutsu of the appropriate rank.
this one

Imo, tenketsu have to be semi-permeable for chakra to even flow through htem in the first place. If your chakra alters their tenketsu, then it should be assumed that their chakra leaks out regardless. Or, if their body is trying to purge his chakra, I'd imagine the status of their tenketsu would be irrelevant.

Otherwise this seems fine. Just worded oddly.
Mistaki ShioShiimu KozanGekko IndraShoshiki HeiyaHizashi Ikinari
Kirigakure No Sato
Kemurigakure no Sato

Taishou of Iron Country
Kirigakure No Sato
Genin
Experiment 81 v2
Sunagakure No Sato
Genin
The Soul Host
Iwagakure No Sato
Special Jounin
The Tungsten Princess
Sunagakure No Sato
Jounin
The Revolutionary
Past CharactersShow
[Kenketi Tenteki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Special Jounin]
[Setsuya Inka :: Sunagakure No Sato – The Soul Host – Special Jounin]
[Kaikyo Kohon :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shinwa Basuta no Suihouheki Yasahii :: Kirigakure No Sato – Mizukage :: Spirit of Capricorn, Topenga]
[Futokutei Hitoare :: Konohagakure No Sato – Pestilence (Four Horsemen) – Jounin]
[Aisu Koiji :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shitagane Sakki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Genin]
[Batsu Betsuni :: Iwagakure No SatoJounin A Rank Missing Ninja]
[Futokutei Yasunari :: Konohagakure No Sato – Genin]
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yaksha
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by yaksha » Sun Apr 24, 2016 1:23 pm

Updated.

[S-rank Missing-ninKirigakureYaksha • • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:4 C:9 D:0]

[Jounin • Konohagakure • Haidou • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0]

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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Ace Trainer » Mon Apr 25, 2016 6:45 am

I knew something was off about this.

This is essentially a stamina debuff. Which, stamina debuffs are no longer permanent. So you'll need to word this in a way that sets a time frame where its effective.

Basically, all your jutsu debuff by X, where X is a value equal to the cost to perform the jutsu. You need to set a limit, so it's a debuff of X for # of posts.
Mistaki ShioShiimu KozanGekko IndraShoshiki HeiyaHizashi Ikinari
Kirigakure No Sato
Kemurigakure no Sato

Taishou of Iron Country
Kirigakure No Sato
Genin
Experiment 81 v2
Sunagakure No Sato
Genin
The Soul Host
Iwagakure No Sato
Special Jounin
The Tungsten Princess
Sunagakure No Sato
Jounin
The Revolutionary
Past CharactersShow
[Kenketi Tenteki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Special Jounin]
[Setsuya Inka :: Sunagakure No Sato – The Soul Host – Special Jounin]
[Kaikyo Kohon :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shinwa Basuta no Suihouheki Yasahii :: Kirigakure No Sato – Mizukage :: Spirit of Capricorn, Topenga]
[Futokutei Hitoare :: Konohagakure No Sato – Pestilence (Four Horsemen) – Jounin]
[Aisu Koiji :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shitagane Sakki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Genin]
[Batsu Betsuni :: Iwagakure No SatoJounin A Rank Missing Ninja]
[Futokutei Yasunari :: Konohagakure No Sato – Genin]
ChatangoShow
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yaksha
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Post by yaksha » Fri Apr 29, 2016 9:51 am

It's meant to debuff at the same amount that is appropriate for that ranked jutsu, without the ability. An S-rank would debuff for 15, but that 15 would be spread evenly between all viable targets, meaning it may be a -7 from 2 targets or a -5 from 3, or so on or so on depending on how many are struck by his jutsu.

I gave it a 5 posts duration, while their body works overtime to make more chakra.

[S-rank Missing-ninKirigakureYaksha • • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:4 C:9 D:0]

[Jounin • Konohagakure • Haidou • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0]

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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Ace Trainer » Fri Apr 29, 2016 9:03 pm

1/2
Mistaki ShioShiimu KozanGekko IndraShoshiki HeiyaHizashi Ikinari
Kirigakure No Sato
Kemurigakure no Sato

Taishou of Iron Country
Kirigakure No Sato
Genin
Experiment 81 v2
Sunagakure No Sato
Genin
The Soul Host
Iwagakure No Sato
Special Jounin
The Tungsten Princess
Sunagakure No Sato
Jounin
The Revolutionary
Past CharactersShow
[Kenketi Tenteki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Special Jounin]
[Setsuya Inka :: Sunagakure No Sato – The Soul Host – Special Jounin]
[Kaikyo Kohon :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shinwa Basuta no Suihouheki Yasahii :: Kirigakure No Sato – Mizukage :: Spirit of Capricorn, Topenga]
[Futokutei Hitoare :: Konohagakure No Sato – Pestilence (Four Horsemen) – Jounin]
[Aisu Koiji :: Kirigakure No Sato – Jounin]
[Shitagane Sakki :: Kumogakure No Sato – Genin]
[Batsu Betsuni :: Iwagakure No SatoJounin A Rank Missing Ninja]
[Futokutei Yasunari :: Konohagakure No Sato – Genin]
ChatangoShow
HonchkrOnu
ArticOnu
RichardUnknown
RichardGreen
RichardRed
RichardBlack
RichardGold
AlienHostRichardGold
ValidusWrecks
ValidusWreckingBall
NotOnu
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NotCdf
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Director
Hokage
Hokage
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[Accepted]Absolutely Rotten

Post by Director » Mon May 16, 2016 2:52 am

Accepted

This application has been accepted. Congratulations! Any necessary changes will be handled by the moderating team.

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