[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

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Texas
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Wed Jun 27, 2018 10:21 am

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Kaizer, Bendu




"Power Rules All"

General Information Age: 20
Gender: Male
Height: 6'2''
Weight: 220
Physical Features:
  • Face/head: Bendu always has a resting angry/disappointed look to him. He has black hair that is spiky all around, but as a long ponytail in the back that goes to the bottom of his shoulders. His eyes are a combination of brown and green which give it a darker ember look to them; almost like blood red. Over and below his right eye he has a black tattoo. This tattoo goes to the middle of his forehead (adjacent to his eye) down to the middle of his cheek. At the ends of the tattoo the tips are swirled into a circle.
  • Body: Bendu has a very tone and muscular body. There are a few scars on his sides from previous combat, but nothing that would be noticeable through clothing. He also has a tattoo over his tricep of the same design as on his eye, but repetitive around his whole tricept. The symbols are all connected through a single line in the middle.
  • Notable Features: His most notable features are the color of his eyes , his right eye tattoo, and his right tricep (tribal) tattoo.
Clothing/Accessories: Bendu is a minimalist. For clothing he wears baggy ninja black ninja pants that stop at his shins. From his shins, all the way over his toes he wears white wrapping. He wears black ninja sandals over his wrappings. round his waist is a black cloth that keeps his pants still. He wears a black sleeveless vest and usually leaves it unbuttoned. The only time he will button is for important meetings. He wears white wrappings that go all around his hands/fingers and goes all the way to the beginning of his forearm (so right near the elbow).

Personality:
  • General: Calm, Angry, Disappointing, Serious are all of the best words to describe Bendu. He always thinks ahead and makes actions based on calculated decisions. His facial expressions give him an overwhelming look of fury. He is constantly thinking of the next step and will stop at nothing to obtain power. He hates habits, he thinks of them as weaknesses. Anything that dulls the senses he sees as a weakness; the only thing he barely tolerates is alcohol. His passion for power trumps most of his objectives however, he truly believes that with him in power he could help benefit not only the Fire Country... but the whole shinobi world.
  • Hopes/Dreams: He has only one dream. That is to become the Fire Daimyō.
  • Fears: He fears that all of his long years of hard work will be for nothing. He truly hopes and will stop at nothing to keep his deep and darkest secret hidden.
  • Combat Mentality:Bendu does not engage in combat most often. He likes to keep the illusion that he is weak but very smart. What everyone doesn't know is that he is a master of genjutsu. Within battle he overwelms his enemies with genjutsu and cuts them down while they are immobile.

Battle Information Village: Konohagakure no Sato, Fire Country
Rank: A-Rank Missing Ninja, A-Rank Ronin
  • Ninjutsu: 1
  • Taijutsu: 10
  • Genjutsu: 50
  • Stamina: 25
  • Control: 50
  • Strength: 14
  • Speed: 15
  • Instinct: 35
Equipment:
  • Binoculars
  • Cane: The cane as a whole is 3'6'' tall. It is fully encased in black with a gold sphere on the top. The golden sphere is the size of a baseball. Hidden within the cane is a black blade. The blade itself is 3' long, where the handle (once detached) is 6". The casing of the cane is very strong and durable. It is capable, on its own, of stopping/blocking sharp metal objects. EX: Kunai, Shuriken, Other Blades.
  • Leg Knives: Bendu has 4 hidden throwing knives hidden on the side of his legs near the shin area. One on the right and one of the left for both legs. They are small 1'6'' throwing knives with white wraps on the handles. The handles themselves are 5'' leaving the rest of the length to the blade itself. They are sheathed on a buckle that are wrapped around his legs. His pants hide these knives perfectly.
  • Smoke Bombs: Bendu has 2 of these located on an extended pouch that is attached to the top of his pants above his butt. It is a very small pouch and can only hold 2.
Companions: (0/1)
Affinity: Raiton
Abilities and Concentrations
Abilities
First Ability
Suppressed Truth:
Over time of training in secret, Bendu has developed incredible chakra control. Through his training he has developed the capability of suppressing and exerting his chakra at free will. By using this, he is capable of flowing his chakra in a way that makes it appear as though he has nearly none or increase it in a way to have an overwelming pressure around him. Passively Bendu uses this ability to suppress his true chakra amount within him. To sensory ninja and anyone who can sense him, it would appear as if he as little to no chakra at all.
Second Ability---------
Third Ability-------------
Concentrations
Ninjutsu[Place them here]
Taijutsu[Place them here]
Genjutsu
Genjutsu: Advanced Channeling:
Bendu has superb chakra control, and has learned to perform jutsu by channeling, without the use of hand seals. The user can channel any genjutsu that is designed to be channel, and there are no specified parameters in which a jutsu must fall to be channeled by this method. To get this concentration the user must be a Genjutsu Specialist, and have picked Control as one of their specialized stats. Channeled Genjutsu cause the user to be surrounded in an aura of chakra while channeling the genjutsu, until the genjutsu is initiated.
Sight Initiation:
This user has learned to use visual cues to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to perform actions, or draw the eyes to something to capture their targets in a genjutsu.
Sound Initiation:
This user has learn to use sound cues to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to create sounds and sustain sounds to capture their targets in a genjutsu.
Scent Initiation:
This user has learn to use smells to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to utilize and produce various scents to capture their targets in genjutsu.
Touch Initiation:
This user has learn to use physical sensations to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to physical touch the target, or touch them with objects to capture their targets in genjutsu.
Sensor Initiation:
This user has learned to use their chakra's presence to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to initiate genjutsu in people who notice them with sensory techniques.
Warp Genjutsu:
This user has learned to combine the basics of Status and Illusion genjutsu, allowing them to use single techniques to create sensory illusions, as well as status changes on their target.
Overlay Genjutsu:
This user has learn to create entire worlds in the heads of their targets. These genjutsu allow the user to completely recreate reality within the heads of their target, and interact with them in various ways through the techniques. Overlay stand out as a threat in genjutsu users as they lapse on a single second in real time, but can last extremely long in the heads of the target.
Genjutsu SpecialistHaving devoted their lives to mastering the art of genjutsu, Bendu is classified as a Genjutsu Specialist. Genjutsu specialist are able to devote a total of 10 concentrations to genjutsu, unlike most people who are capped at 8. However, they are only able to devote a max of 5 concentrations to taijutsu, and a max of 5 concentrations to ninjutsu.

As a Genjutsu Specialist, Bendu is able to utilize genjutsu concentrations reserved for specialists, and is able to enter the God Tier [45+] on select stats, and meaning as a specialist they can select stats to break into the God tier. These stats can only be Genjutsu, Speed, Control, and Instinct.

Jutsu
NinjutsuShow
Place Ninjutsu in here
TaijutsuShow
Place Taijutsu in here
GenjutsuShow
D-Rank Genjutsu

[Genjutsu • A Bat!]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
A rather simple genjutsu that is put into place when the user first channels their chakra and then says a statement ending in "A Bat". Seconds later, anyone who hears the user say that will see several bats fly past, just a few feet above the user. The bats would then circle around the victims' heads (if there are more than one), serving as a somewhat confusing distraction.

[Genjutsu • Pins and Needles]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After Channeling the needed chakra and pricking the opponent with some sort of small weapon (usually senbon), the opponent feels their arms and legs fall asleep. It feels as if the blood flow to these appendages has basically stopped, making their movements a tad sluggish and just all around uncomfortable. This jutsu doesn’t really hinder a person, but it makes everything they do feel off. For those who are attuned to the way their body feels during battle, it can be extremely distracting. Lasts 3 posts.

[Genjutsu • Smell Of The Deceased]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After Channeling the needed chakra, any victim that sees the user preforming the hand seals will be induced under the genjutsu. This causes the target to begin to smell rotting flesh and decaying bodies. The jutsu can cause nausea and vomiting from the target, depending on how sensitive their sense of smell is. The smell of the dead can also cause some mental stress on the target. This genjutsu lasts for three (3) posts.

[Genjutsu • Paranoid]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After Channeling the needed chakra, the user will point indiscriminately. Should the target see the pointing motion, they'll be captured in this genjutsu. For the following 4 posts, the target will see a shadow in the corner of their eyes, constantly shifting out of view when they attempt to look at it.

[Genjutsu • Boom!]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
The user will do a channel the needed chakra, then within the next post, snap their fingers. Anyone who hears the snapping will hear an explosion in the distance behind them. This works as an effective distraction, or a scare tactic, if properly utilized.

C-Rank Genjutsu

[Genjutsu • Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing]
C-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
This is a genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will channel the needed chakra and make eye contact with the target. Once cast, the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion. The illusion is at the discretion of the user. However, they can only make a stationary image, or a visual loop, not a controllable visual illusion. Examples would be a decapitated head on a table, or one of their friends running in circles on fire. This illusions may only last up to 4 posts, or until the user ends the jutsu themselves. As a note, this only effects sight.


[Genjutsu • Burning to Death]
C-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
This is a genjutsu technique which can be used in quite a few ways. The user channels the needed chakra, and as long as the opponent(s) look into the eyes of the user, then the genjutsu will begin. The user and the opponent(s) will both light on fire and start to burn, from the feet up to the head, in the opponent's mind. The opponent will normally start to panic and try to get rid of the fire, especially since they feel as if they were in actual pain. This genjutsu lasts for 4 posts and will not appear to be able to be extinguished, no matter what the victim does. The illusion is very static, in the sense that it doesn't change with the environment, it merely creates an illusory flame and pain.

[Genjutsu • Reverse Hypnosis]
C-Ranked Status Genjutsu
This is a three post genjutsu. To start the genjutsu, the ninja channels the needed chakra and then places a hand on the target. Until the genjutsu ends the target is able to remember a lot more about their past and has a lighter barrier over their consciousness making it easier for them to spill information. This doesn’t weaken their will, however, meaning if they are aware it’s a genjutsu, they are more than capable of using Kai.

[Genjutsu • "Look Around You"]
C-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
This technique is meant to throw off someone and make them feel overwhelmed. The user channels the needed chakra and then simply says the words "Look Around You". Whoever hears that phrasing will start to see masked men appear from a far. They would move from hiding, so they could appear from trees, behind rocks, rise from under water, etc. Then men are all wearing basic and stereotype ninja attire and would be holding various of weapons. This jutsu lasts for 4 posts, unless dispelled with chakra kai.

[Genjutsu • Switch]
C-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
Once the user channels the needed chakra and then locks eyes with the target, the jutsu is set for 3 posts. Once eye contact is met, the user can switch identities with another person that they have encountered at any time. The genjutsu itself changes the user's full appearance and voice.

B-Rank Genjutsu

[Genjutsu • Scatter and Run]
B-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
If the genjutsu user ever needs to run, this is the ideal technique to use. The target simply has to see them take their first step to run after the user has channeled the needed chakra. If the target saw the first step to run, the genjutsu caster will suddenly split into 90 "clones." This will allow the genjutsu caster to run away amidst the confusion, as the mass of clones run in every single direction at a speed of 20. Of course, touching one of these "clones" will cause them to disperse in a cloud of smoke, but they will do everything in their power to avoid making contact. If the clones aren't touched, the jutsu lasts for up to 6 posts.

[Genjutsu • Fear]
B-Ranked Status Genjutsu
The user will channel the needed chakra, the wink at their target. Should the target see them wink, they'll be caught in the genjutsu. For the next 4 posts, the target will have a sense of fear originating from the user and things they do. If the user takes a step forward, the target will be more inclined to take a step back, threats will have a higher efficacy, and they'll be more inclined to simply do what they can to avoid having to fight the user.

[Genjutsu • Communicate]
B-Ranked Overlay Genjutsu
After channeling the needed chakra, the user will place a hand on their target, initiating this overlay. The overlay lasts for 4 posts, transporting them to an open field. The sky is a mix between day and night, with both the sun, and stars visible in the sky. The user and his target will be sitting in the field, cross legged, where they can talk. Jutsu will fail, they have no weapons on their person, and all their physical stats are set to 5, making combat nearly impossible.

[Genjutsu • Contagion]
B-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
After channeling the needed chakra and making physical contact, the user captures the target in this genjutsu. The victim of this jutsu becomes aware of strange rashes and other signs of illness on the user of this jutsu. They notice that the user of this jutsu looks very sick and that they are extremely contagious. They believe whole-heartedly that if they touch the user of this jutsu, if the user of this jutsu bleeds on them, or if any other bodily fluids get on them, they will become deathly ill. It becomes almost impossible for the victim of this jutsu to physically attack the user, and even something as simple as the user’s spit will be seen as a deadly attack that they need to flee from. The genjutsu lasts for 3 posts.

[Genjutsu • Sense This]
B-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
Once the user channels the needed chakra, they would need to allow it to flow throughout their body in order for the jutsu to start. When the jutsu is in effect, anyone who senses the user within 5 posts will become victim to this genjutsu. Once the target attempts to sense him and is under the genjutsu, they will sense nothing. In fact, they will not even remember sensing the user's chakra at all and any other attempts to sense the user's chakra (within the 5 posts) will end in no result at all.

[Genjutsu • "Listen"]
B-Ranked Status Genjutsu
The User channels the needed chakra and focuses it into saying "Listen." Anyone who hears will find themselves subtly drawn towards wanting to believe the user is being completely honest with them creating a sense of hope and understanding in the target, this technique would leave very little room for doubt in their mind that the character's intentions are genuine.

A-Rank Genjutsu

[Genjutsu • "Stop"]
A-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
After channeling the needed chakra, the user simply has to say the word "Stop". Once the words are heard by an opponent, their minds freeze their motor functions and causes them to lose the capability of moving from the position they were in as they heard the word "Stop". Their brain is tricked to thinking they are completely frozen, however their body and consciousness can feel, see, and hear everything that is happening. This genjutsu lasts for 3 posts.

[Genjutsu • Visions of Fear]
A-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
After channeling the needed chakra and eye contact have been made, the target will begin to see things. This allows the user to tap into the target’s consciousness and find their fears and make them look real. They may begin to see animals, people, or things that they’re terribly afraid of. This genjutsu will last for 4 posts.

[Genjutsu • Temple of Nirvana]
A-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
This is a Genjutsu technique that allows the caster to place a large body of people into an unconscious state by channeling the needed chakra and whistling loudly. Once the targets hear the whistle, they will see feathers falling down, and, if the opponent realizes this is a genjutsu, they just need a genjutsu stat of 10 to break out of it. If they don't break out of the genjutsu, the target will fall asleep at the end of that post.

[Genjutsu • Journey into Black Darkness]
A-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
This is a genjutsu technique that is activated after the user channeling the needed chakra and makes eye contact with the target. Once caught, the ninja's opponent becomes enveloped in total darkness. While in the black void, the ninja will be unable to see any incoming attack or threat. This lasts for 5 posts.

[Genjutsu • Steps Ahead]
A-Ranked Warp Genjutsu
Pre-Requisite: 32 Genjutsu, 33 Control, 30 Instinct
Once the correct amount of chakra is channeled, the user attempts to make eye contact with his opponent. Once eye contact is met, the opponent is sent into a parallel universe that is exactly the same setting and situation that they were already in. This would cause the opponent to have a slight feeling of Deja Vu. The opponent is trapped there for 5 posts and let the scene go out as if it would happen. This gives the user the idea of what they are going to say or do, allowing the user to always be a few steps ahead of his opponent. Once the 5 posts are over, the user will be back (mentally) to the same location and situation they started in. To everyone around, this would only seem like a second has passed. However, upon coming back to where they started, the opponent will forget all of what happened while they were under the genjutsu trans.

S-Rank Genjutsu

[Genjutsu • Eternity]
S-Ranked Overlay Genjutsu
The user will channel the needed chakra, then touch their target on the forehead. If successful, the target will be transported into an empty world, their hands and feet bound to the ground with shackles that they can't seem to break no matter how much they resist. The user will then appear in front of them, and is able to attack and torment the target however they see fit. While the genjutsu only lasts for about 10 minutes (5 posts) for the user, every second feels like an hour to target, making the genjutsu feel like it lasts for 600 hours. Any weapons or objects the user needs will appear from no where for their use.

[Genjutsu • Touch Control]
S-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
Prerequisite: 50 Genjutsu, 50 Control
The user will channel the needed chakra, focusing on, and then pointing at their target. Should their target see this pointing motion, the user will take control of their sense of touch for the next 5 posts. The user can create any feeling, or completely remove the targets sense of touch, or anything in between. This devastating genjutsu can completely alter the course of combat.

[Genjutsu • Defeat]
S-Ranked Status Genjutsu
Prerequisite: 46 Genjutsu, 46 Control
The user has to be within 5 meters of the target. By will channel the needed chakra and meeting eyes with the opponent, they will quickly fall into this technique. With each step the genjutsu user takes, the victim will feel a steadily increasing feeling of defeat. When the user is finally right in front of the target, they will be so overwhelmed that they will fall to their knees in fear and have a horrible sick feeling of dread. While the attempt to make any fatal attack by the genjutsu user will immediately break the genjutsu, this feeling in the victim will make them answer almost any question with complete honesty. The word fatal is key, however, as the user can freely beat and physically injure the opponent while they are in this trance, they simply cannot kill. This feeling of defeat can last for up to 10 posts.

History
Historical AccountsShow
Chapter I: Family Was Everything

Bendu's name is not actually Bendu. His true name is Mohiti, Kojo (for the sake of the story, we will call him Bendu).

Bendu has a classic tragic story when it comes to his family. Before Bendu was born, he had two brothers. One of his brothers and Bendu's father left for a covert mission while Bendu's mother was pregnant. Unfortunately, they did not return. This left Bendu to be taken care by his only brother left. Bendu's brother was known for being washed up and a drunk. Growing up Bendu knew that he would never want to be like his brother. He changed the color of his hair to blonde so that he didn't even look like his family members. Bendu took it a step further and applied to be in the ninja academy. It was there that Bendu, although didn't make any friends, really grew up as a man (even though he was a boy). He took a knack for taijutsu, but secretly loved genjutsu. When it was clear he was not a ninjutsu specialist and more of a taijutsu specialist, he was able to conquer his biggest obstical he knew of.... graduating from the Ninja Academy.

Before he graduated, he was looked down on as a student due to his lack in ninjutsu. What his classmates didn't know is that Bendu was constantly practicing genjutsu when he was at home. Why did he hide this fact from his classmates and teachers? Well he truly believed that no matter what, every shinobi should have an ace up their sleeves. When he graduated from the Ninja Academy, he was given a team that specialized in Taijutsu combat. His teammate was a Hyuuga Clan member and his other teammate was just a regular shinobi like Bendu

Chapter II: Death of The Genin

Overall, Bendu's team were rather successful. Due to an ill prepared mission, they even succeeded a B-Rank Mission. However, over time he felt as though doing the grunt work of a ninja was beneath him. He wanted to make bigger decisions and he wanted to be recognized for it. One day, Bendu and his team were given a simple mission of aiding an elderly couple back to their home in the Land of Fire. They visited Konoha for the Festival of Lights. Bendu, his two teammates, and his Jounin Sensei all aided in walking the elderly couple back. They were quite pleasant and by the time they brought them home, it had turned dark. With a long trek back, they decided to move quickly to try to get back home sooner. At this point Bendu felt a little lost and purposeless. While self-reflecting, Bendu didn't realize that there was a trap near them. The boy with the Byakugan was able to stop Bendu and sensei, but before he could verbally warn their other partner she tripped the trap. This caused a loud explosion that killed her immediately.

The three that were living quickly jumped higher into the trees to hide within the leaves. Before they knew it, some bandits popped out of the woods in hopes to collect any remains she had. There were 8 masked men and 1 masked child. Without hesitation, the Jounin informed the two Genin to stay put. He threw multiple smoke bombs and jumped in to take them all down. However, he did not account for more hiding in the woods. He was able to take out 6 of the men, but 4 more came out of the woods and were able to injure him enough to not be fully functional. This resulted in him being killed as well. Now with the two Genin left, they didn't know what to do. They decided to fight, it truly was their only option. They both threw two more smoke bombs each and then tried raining kunai into the cloud. They were able to hit a few but they both went down to finish off the rest. Within the fighting they killed 4 men. This left only 1 man and 1 boy. Both Bendu and the Hyuuga were tired from fighting in the smoke. Bendu was fortunate enough to kill off the boy. While his teammate and the man were fighting, Bendu changed clothes with the boy who was the same size as him. He thought this would be a great way to sneak attack his opponent. He even placed his ninja shirt over him and put the headband on his forehead as well. Bendu threw the boys body at the man and sent him backwards, however the man was able to grip the Hyuuga Genin before he fell and brought him back with him. They all exploded (the boy's body, the genin, and the man) into a trap that Bendu had not seen. By the time the smoke cleared, he was dressed as one of the murderers and there was no one left. At this moment he was extremely scared and didn't know what to do. His instinct was to run.

While running he made sure not to stop. After a day of traveling, he found a cave that had a small river near it. He was able to survive there for a few months. He used his survival skills he gained from being a Ninja. During his time in solitude, he focused on training in Genjutsu. He knew that some day it would become very important. He also decided to completely change his name to Bendu Kaizer. His life died in that battle and a new one started. During his time in hiding he came to a realization. He knew that this was the best opportunity for him to move forward with his life. Maybe he could find something that wouldn't involve physical grunt work. Over the months of being in the cave his hair turned back to black and he decided to leave the cave.

After a few months of surviving, Bendu made his way to the local town. Due to looking homeless (which he was), he was snagged by the local authorities. When they ID'd him, they couldn't find any record of his existence. They eventually brought him to an orphanage home within the Fire country. At the orphanage home Bendu made some friends, however over time he realized that it was pointless to make friends. Reason? They were being adopted left and right. Bendu spent the better part of a year at the orphanage until one special day arrived.

Chapter III: Rags to Riches

Loud horns, horses, the dropping of a carriage were all noises Bendu heard in the morning. Everyone got up asking "what could that be" and making their way to the main foyer. With 12 children there and Bendu nearly being a teenager, he knew he wouldn't be chosen for whatever it was. Immediately through the door came 4 guards in the front and 6 were outside. With the light shining through the open door, A Representative for the Daimyō walked through. He proclaimed he was looking for a child to be part of the family. It was clear the Bendu had to do something to get noticed. After he finished Bendu put himself way out of his character and greeted the Rep. The Rep was bothered by the boy nagging him so he took his fan and attempted to hit him in the face with it. Bendu, due to some "previous" training, was able to stop the fan with his hand before he was hit.

The Rep was impressed. He had a change of heart when it came to the boy. He liked the spunk that he had. At the end of the day the Rep chose Bendu. Bendu walked with the Rep to the carriage. He was in awe that every guard called him sir as he walked by. As they got into the carriage, the Rep told him "Your life will not be the same".

Chapter IV: Goal of a Ruler

4 years had passed. Bendu had changed his appearance completely. He used to have long blonde hair and nothing on his body but clothes, however now he grew out his hair and it turned back to its original black color. He also put a tattoo on his arm along with a similar tattoo on his face. During his four years of time learning the ins and outs of politics, he was given his official job... A Messenger. He knew that although it wasn't physical grunt work, it was still a form of grunt work. He has no intention of doing this for too long.
Characters
NameVillageRank
Hatake, TenzinKonohagakure no SatoBanin - [color=#BF0000]Text Color[/color]
Ishiguro, AkihikoKumogakure no SatoChuunin - [color=#FF4080]Text Color[/color]
Kisama, GinjiroHeart EmpireNatsubushi - [color=#80BF80]Text Color[/color]
Test Thread

User avatar
Niro
Tsuchikage
Tsuchikage
Posts: 9844
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:00 pm

[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Niro » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:09 am

Genjutsu: Advanced Channeling <-This should be in your Genjutsu concentrations

[Genjutsu • "Listen to Me"] <-I feel this'd be B-rank

[Genjutsu • Steps Ahead] <-This is Overlay not Warp

You have Gen channeling but none of your genjutsu are channel-able atm. Jutsu have to specify whether they use hand seals or channeling in their description. I'll also ask Pr to check the history.
#MakeIwaGreatAgain
NameVillageRankTeam
Tatsuo [color=#940839][b]IwaTsuchikageTeam 18 Jousai
Kinomichi [color=limegreen][b]IwaBanninJousai
Kotetsu [color=slategray][b]IwaGeninTeam 7
Ashura [color=coral][b]SunaGenin
Sai [color=#FF14A1][b]Kiri - MND-Rank
Yamato [color=#C71585][b]KiriA-Rank

User avatar
Texas
Posts: 1878
Joined: Fri May 24, 2013 8:00 pm

[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:24 am

Okay, so you can't just channel all genjutsu? It has to be genjutsu that can be specifically channeled? Like, this char couldn't channel any of the archived genjutsu even if he has channeling?
Characters
NameVillageRank
Hatake, TenzinKonohagakure no SatoBanin - [color=#BF0000]Text Color[/color]
Ishiguro, AkihikoKumogakure no SatoChuunin - [color=#FF4080]Text Color[/color]
Kisama, GinjiroHeart EmpireNatsubushi - [color=#80BF80]Text Color[/color]
Test Thread

User avatar
Niro
Tsuchikage
Tsuchikage
Posts: 9844
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:00 pm

[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Niro » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:47 am

Correct. You can, however, edit the archive jutsu to say they're done through channeling (which removes their archive status and the * before them)

So for example:

*[Genjutsu • Pins and Needles]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After performing the hand seals and pricking the opponent with some sort of small weapon (usually senbon), the opponent feels their arms and legs fall asleep. It feels as if the blood flow to these appendages has basically stopped, making their movements a tad sluggish and just all around uncomfortable. This jutsu doesn’t really hinder a person, but it makes everything they do feel off. For those who are attuned to the way their body feels during battle, it can be extremely distracting. Lasts 3 posts.

would need to be edited to

[Genjutsu • Pins and Needles]
D-Ranked Illusion Genjutsu
After channeling the needed chakra and pricking the opponent with some sort of small weapon (usually senbon), the opponent feels their arms and legs fall asleep. It feels as if the blood flow to these appendages has basically stopped, making their movements a tad sluggish and just all around uncomfortable. This jutsu doesn’t really hinder a person, but it makes everything they do feel off. For those who are attuned to the way their body feels during battle, it can be extremely distracting. Lasts 3 posts.

and then you could channel it
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:49 am

Ohhh okay, that makes it much easier than I thought. I'll fix them up then. I'll post tomorrow when I'm done xD thanks mate
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Niro » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:50 am

No problem, post when edited
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NameVillageRankTeam
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Kinomichi [color=limegreen][b]IwaBanninJousai
Kotetsu [color=slategray][b]IwaGeninTeam 7
Ashura [color=coral][b]SunaGenin
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Director » Wed Jun 27, 2018 12:24 pm

Story Check

Well to begin with your story the Daimyo has guards from Konoha around him at all times. Some of which I would presume have sensory abilities, and would be able to detect that you were definitely not a normal civilian. Not only that, but Konoha would put out a watch trying to find Bendu after the fight that seemingly made him disappear so there would be a record on him for local Fire Country authorities, and any passing Konoha shinobi.

Also Fire Countries political system is vastly different than most as they have two ruling families that swap leadership roles with a vote every 15 years. You can read that all here. Not only that I'm certain the Daimyo's guards would be able to tell you've put them under a genjutsu. I disagree with you putting yourself right as being the next Daimyo at the start of your character, this is something you should do IC through PBs rather than weaving it in the story of a registry character. Also it'd be very difficult to become Fire Country Daimyo especially because its typically a blood relative that take it over, and they're very loyal to Konoha since the two are pretty much entwined together as a military/political entity.

My recommendation is to start out as seeking for a Daimyo's seat rather than putting yourself right at it, and doing it through IC means after acceptance. I don't mind the idea of you seeking Fire Country Daimyo actually, that sounds really dope and like a cool plot I'd love to see with lots of high tension between Konoha and yourself, but I won't allow it just being written in your story.

Also elaborate on what made him want to leave Konoha completely after that battle. It seems like such a snap change to want to leave after wanting to defend your comrades. Elaborate on the emotional trauma and mess he went through.
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Fake » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:19 pm

Sorry to interject--just wanted to pitch in.

[Genjutsu • "Stop"] <- Too strong for a B-Rank; a genjutsu that causes paralysis would be A or S Rank IMO, depending on the difficulty of the trigger. Considering your jutsu only requires someone to hear you say "stop", I'd say it doesn't have a feasible trigger/rank-to-power ratio. Also I think rather than a status genjutsu, this would be more along the lines of warp.

[Genjutsu • Switch] <- More of an issue of nuances than anything else, but I would suggest removing the line "causing them to think someone else is the user" unless you're going to make this a warp gen.
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:40 am

Okay, ty all for the guidance and suggestions. I fixed my jutsus (I hope it works). I am going to fix my history heavily once I get in contact with Pr (I have some "direction" questions for him)
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Hatake, TenzinKonohagakure no SatoBanin - [color=#BF0000]Text Color[/color]
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Nick » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:18 am

So you're saying you need a Director?
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:48 am

Okay all fixed up (I think)
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Ishiguro, AkihikoKumogakure no SatoChuunin - [color=#FF4080]Text Color[/color]
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Varian » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:41 pm

Sorry for the wait, I have just had a look over your app now. The first three points I am going to bring up have already been mentioned prior but no edits have been made to them.
Quote:
[Genjutsu • Switch] <- More of an issue of nuances than anything else, but I would suggest removing the line "causing them to think someone else is the user" unless you're going to make this a warp gen.
Fake asked you to remove this and I agree it seems very much more like a warp with that line in it, no issues with the rest of the Switch technique.
Quote:
Genjutsu: Advanced Channeling <-This should be in your Genjutsu concentrations
You still have it placed under your abilities, Niro asked for this to be edited a while back just thought I would bring it up as it seems to have been missed.
Quote:
[Genjutsu • "Listen to Me"]
C-Ranked Status Genjutsu
The user channel the needed chakra and focus on saying "Listen to Me". Anyone who hears this will believe that the user is telling the truth/being truthful no matter what they are saying. It creates a feeling of hope and understanding making opponents let their guard down when it comes to judgement of character and prevents them from having a doubtful thought about what its being said to them.
I think that is a bit strong for a C-Rank it completely alters their sense of judgement which I see as effecting multiple senses from what they hear to the body language they see there is no room for doubt which is closer to B-rank at the very least, I think Niro mentioned something about this technique earlier on also but I don't know if you have edited this Jutsu since.

Something else I noticed is you have nothing written in equipment, this would mean no kunai, swords, tags etc. As an A-rank you can have 35 points worth of equipment which is nothing to sneeze at considering it just comes with the character, while you don't have to add equipment I did feel the need to let you know exactly what that means you are turning down.

Quote:
Affinity: Katon, Suiton
Due to the rules on affinities you need to specify which of these is your primary affinity to gain the ability to go to 300 minimum words with training instead of the usual 400 for anything with that affinity.

You moved the technique [Genjutsu • "Stop"] into your A-Rank Jutsu section but the technique itself says it is a B-Rank.

I believe that is everything I noticed, again apologies for not getting back to you sooner on this app.
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:59 am

okay. I think I fixed it all
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Ishiguro, AkihikoKumogakure no SatoChuunin - [color=#FF4080]Text Color[/color]
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Takumi » Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:09 am

A few quick things while I give your jutsu another once over.

Under personality, you have these:

Hopes/Dreams: He has only one dream. That is to become the Fire Daimyō. He has been the right hand man for the current Fire Daimyō for over 8 years and with the right guidance, he will be the next successor.
Fears: He fears that all of his long years of hard work will be for nothing. He truly hopes and will stop at nothing to keep his deep and darkest secret hidden.

It seems these don't fit as well with your new history and younger character and more reflect the history before you edited.

Also, your first genjutsu (the bat one) doesn't specify if it's done via hand seals or channeling.

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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Texas » Wed Jul 11, 2018 8:12 am

fixed
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Ishiguro, AkihikoKumogakure no SatoChuunin - [color=#FF4080]Text Color[/color]
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Nick » Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:16 pm

Yay. 1/2
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[Accepted]Bendu, Kaizer

Post by Fake » Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:43 pm

Accepted

This application has been accepted. Congratulations! Any necessary changes will be handled by the moderating team.
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