Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

A new Jutsu Style?

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Mlemb
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by Mlemb » Fri Jun 07, 2019 3:22 pm

Application:Abumi,Sakon
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream:
Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream
A character with this concentration is able to utilize Ōgonshoku Nagare, an elemental extension of Raiton and Suiton. Must be an elemental ninjutsu specialist to make custom Ōgonshoku Nagare jutsus. A character with this concentration can use archived jutsu that require Ōgonshoku Nagare. Ōgonshoku Nagare has an unnerving effect and takes the appearance of gold colored water. Must be learned by the creator of the technique, or someone the creator has trusted with the usage of the technique. Requires a ninjutsu concentration slot, along with Raiton and Suiton concentrations.
Passive (Unnerve)Show
Ōgonshoku Nagare naturally unnerves anyone it comes in contact with causing doubt, discouraging opponents causing them to question their ability to fight, and in turn limits their ability to fight, weakening them substantially. The unnerving power of Ōgonshoku Nagare is growth based, meaning all Ōgonshoku Nagare jutsu will cause dubiety at first contact, the feeling gets progressively worse the longer contact is sustained. Below is a table detailing the worst feeling the opponent can get, based on the control of the technique.
  • 1-14 Control Requirement: Dubiety (Doubting oneself, and indecisiveness)
  • 15-24 Control Requirement: Paranoia (suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification) over 2 posts
  • 25-34 Control Requirement: Uncontrolled Trembling (shaking of muscles that causes unsteadiness) over 3 posts
  • 35+ Control Requirement: Dread (Sense of impending doom, extreme fear) over 4 posts.
D Rank:
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Shield
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will spray golden water created from the inside of their chest through their mouth. Once the water is expelled, it will form an umbrella shape that is concave to the user and about two meters in diameter. This defense is somewhat solid and can be formed in any direction the user can spit, up to five meters away. The defense is shot at a speed of 5 with a strength of 5, and unless completely destroyed it lasts for three posts before falling lifelessly to the ground.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Midas Touch
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will blow a covering of golden water onto their hand at a speed of 5. Over the course of 3 posts the user will attempt to punch their opponent, transferring the water on their hand to the person. The water has a control of 5 and can be removed by an equal or higher control. If an opponent is hit, the golden water will cause dubiety over the course of a 1 post.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Treasure Weapon
    D-ranked Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals, the user will coat a weapon they are holding in golden water for 5 posts. This causes the unnerving effect to be produced on any contact with a target, while also causing confusion. This also works for thrown weapons, however, if the projectile remains out of contact with the user for more than 2 posts the technique will dissipate early.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Pool
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will expel golden water, spreading out to make a puddle of about 3 meters by 3 meters at a speed of 9. The water is not strong with a strength of 1, designed for people to walk right through it. This puddle will stay on the ground for 3 posts before dissipating. If anyone walks through the puddle the water will cling to them and cause dubiety over the course of 1 post.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Sphere
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will expel a 3-meter diameter sphere of golden water from their mouth at speed of 5 up to 10 meters away. Upon impact, it will burst spilling all over the immediate area making it extremely slippery. Those without 5 taijutsu or higher will not be able to hold their footing on this wet spot and will slip around, and those without 5 control or higher will not be able to resist the unnerve passive, gaining its effects on contact.

C Rank:
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Gun
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user expels three 3 2-centimeter diameter droplets of golden water from their mouth in quick succession, each of which explode with a force of one D-Rank explosion each on impact, scattering water all over the immediate area. These droplets fly up to 15 meters away at a speed of 5. Contact causes unnerve passive for 1 post.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Clone
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user creates a clone of themselves comprised completely of Ōgonshoku Nagare chakra. This clone is incapable of jutsu, however, it's liquid nature makes it a very capable taijutsu combatant. This clone lasts for 5 posts. After 5 posts it explodes covering a 4m by 4m area with golden water applying the passive effect to anyone that comes into contact.
    Taijutsu: 6
    Stamina: 8
    Strength: 7
    Speed: 6
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Whirlpool
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    Created to safely incapacitate opponents, after performing the correct hand seals, if the opponent is within 15 meters and is standing atop a body of golden water with the user's chakra in it, the user will begin to churn their chakra causing the golden water to turn into a vortex and engulf the opponent, trapping them in a vortex about two meters in diameter. Once the target is inside, the user must hold the last seal and cannot use any other techniques, capable of holding this for up to five posts. In order to escape, the target must have at least 10 strength to physically make their way out, or the user must be disrupted. Most shinobi would pass out after two posts due to a lack of oxygen. However, if a target possesses a stamina stat higher than 10, it would require three posts for them to pass out. Should the target possess a stamina stat above 20, it would require five posts for them to pass out, but anything higher than 30 would allow them to resist passing out altogether. The unnerving effect is applied over the duration of the jutsu, must have a control of 10 or higher to resist the passive effect.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Gold Mine
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will create a dense puddle of golden water on the ground with a speed of 10. This ash will lay dormant until the user performs a hand seal. When the pile is activated it will explode with the strength of 2 exploding tags. The water will cling to anything it comes into contact with and causes the unnerve passive.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Zone
    C-ranked Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals, the user will seep Ōgonshoku Nagare chakra in an area around them with a 10m diameter. This will produce a golden puddle on the ground in this area visible as shining water on the surface. Any person other than the user who steps into this zone will have the unnerving effect applied and will have reduced mobility. This puddle lasts 3 posts, while it ends immediately if the user leaves the area.

B Rank:
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Jail
    B-Rank Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user is able to spew a large ball of golden water that stands at three meters in diameter. This ball rolls forward at the desired target up to 20 meters away and at a speed of 20. Should this strike the target, they will become engulfed within the sphere. However, if this manages to strike multiple targets, it will envelop them as well, up to a total of 3 prisoners. One can resist being pulled into the ball if they have a strength higher than 20. The trapped targets will spin with the sphere and may become nauseated and dizzy from the disorientation. The unnerve passive is applied and can be resisted with a control of 15 or above. The technique lasts for a total of 4 posts before bursting.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Kraken
    B-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 25 Ninjutsu, 30 Control
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will create a stream of golden water that shoots out at a speed of 25. Rather than going for a blunt hit the golden stream aims to wrap around the target and pull them with a strength of 15. The water will cling to anything it comes into contact with and causes dubiety immediately and paranoia after the second post.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Water Beam
    B-ranked Ninutsu
    Prerequisite: 25 ninjutsu, 30 control
    After performing the correct hand seals, a beam of golden water will erupt from the user's hand. The water will travel 50m at 30 speed and explode with the force of 10 strength on contact over 10m3 while applying the unnerving effect throughout the explosion's area.

A rank:
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Storm
    A-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 30 ninjutsu, 25 control
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will create a bubble of golden water 6m high in the air. Once the golden water is made the bubble will then start to form large drops of 1m x 1m and rain them down on the target at a speed and strength of 25. This will produce and fire 10 drops over the course of 2 posts. The golden water will cling to anything it comes into contact with cause dubiety immediately and paranoia after 2 posts.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Geyser
    A-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 25 control, 25 strength
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will flow chakra into their heel. When they next slam their heel into the ground, a massive 5-meter diameter golden geyser will shoot up from the ground directly in front of them at a strength of 25 and speed of 25 for up to 15 meters. The sheer force of the water alone is dangerous, not to mention the gravity of it all falling back to earth. Applies the unnerving passive.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Waterfall
    A-ranked Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 25 speed, 30 control
    The user of this technique will gather a concentrated amount of golden water in their hand after they perform the hand seals for this technique. The water causes a sound similar to a massive roaring waterfall while it is in existence. The user will then dash at full speed toward a target, unable to see anything not within their path. The user will then attempt to thrust their hand onto their target's body. The golden water is able to encompass the target's body at a speed of 45, instantly causing paranoia, and applying the unnerving effect for 3 posts. Those with 10 less than the user's speed or higher are able to avoid the attack. The water disappears from the user's hand after 2 posts.

S rank:
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Devastation
    S-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 45 Ninjutsu, 40 Control
    After performing the correct hand seals, the user excretes a large amount of golden water from their body which rises into the air like a pillar. For the first post of this technique’s activation, this pillar extends around them for 2m in each direction, protecting them with 30 strength while funneling the water into the sky. On the user’s second post, the pillar disappears, but the user gains the ability to cause up to 3 giant balls of golden water, about 20m in diameter, to fall from the sky at 50 speed in their chosen direction. These giant balls explode with the force of 8 explosive tags, while causing the unnerving passive up to uncontrolled trembling in the passive tree. The user only has 2 posts after the second part activates to release all three balls, and may not cast any other jutsu during this time.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Rising Waters
    S-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 45 Ninjutsu, 40 Control, Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Whirlpool, Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Jail
    After performing the correct hand seals, the user excretes a large amount of golden water from their body, flooding a room, or area 15m around the user in all directions up 5m tall at a speed of 25. If the water comes into contact with anyone other than the user, it holds them in place with a strength of 35 applying the unnerving effect over the course of 5 posts, causing dubiety immediately. If the target is trapped underneath the surface they are unable to breathe and are crushed for 15 strength. If the water is ingested it speeds up the effects of the unnerving passive by half a post.
  • Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Godly Skin
    S-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 45 Ninjutsu, 45 Control
    After the correct hand seals are performed, the user coats themselves in a thick layer of golden water. This armor of golden water increases their strength by 15 points and their Instinct by 10 while reducing their Taijutsu by 15 and their Speed by 10 for 5 posts. During this time any objects that come into contact with the user are slowed significantly by 15 speed. The water is able to spread to the target through physical attacks, causing the second level of the unnerving passive immediately, and afflicting the passive.

Payment: Looking to Preapprove Jutsu for training later down the line for my character.
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ShinobiTruth
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by ShinobiTruth » Fri Jun 07, 2019 10:10 pm

Okay, so not necessarily hating on the concept, but there are a couple of issues you're running into here. I'm not going to comment on the specifics of the jutsu, since there are some more fundamental concerns that should be addressed. Addressing these concerns may affect how you may want to (or may have to) alter the jutsu above.

First off, this would probably be best to post in the test thread. The modifications forum is best reserved for jutsu that have already been approved and that have already been trained or are ready to be purchased with points.

Secondly, this would not be an extension by our rules; rather, this would be considered a fusion element and may even possibly require its own KKG because of its unique passive, which brings me onto my third point. An extension is a modification of the base element that doesn't change the overall elemental affinity but rather changes its form and function. For example, Oil could be considered an extension of water since it doesn't necessarily change the enveloping passive. What it does do (or rather, can do) is add additional properties and change the elemental weakness. For example, Oil could actually be quite strong against Doton techniques, depending on how you construct your additional properties. It would, however, instead be weak to fire, since most oils tend to be highly flammable.

Thirdly, the passive doesn't really make sense in the way that you're describing it. If by Unnerving, you mean to say that it causes consistent electrical shock increasing in severity as time goes on, then that's just honestly Raiton with Suiton, and it would not require its own fusion element, per say. If you're sticking with the Unnerving passive as a true psychological passive, however, that will likely not fly in its current form. That is a very powerful passive and would likely need to be looked at.

Finally, if you're thinking of the latter, electrifying water and things of that nature, you should honestly look at Arashiyama clan in Kumogakure no Sato. They might be closer to what you're going for.

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Mlemb
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by Mlemb » Fri Jun 07, 2019 10:21 pm

Okay my apologies, I'm still fairly new to everything an didn't know where to post stuff like this, or what modification was. I shall work in a test thread! Thank you so much for the information, as it is truly beneficial! I shall revise and work on it in a test thread, and determine where to go from there, as well as looking at the Arashiyama clan, or an example like Oil or an extension in that sense. Many thanks friend!
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Varian
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by Varian » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:45 pm

ShinobiTruth, we allow people to post mods to get Jutsu preapproved so they can get an idea of balancing them etc. This is the correct place to post what he has posted.



Why does this need Raiton? You can just make this a Suiton Extension and remove Raiton entirely.

You will require an ability for this either way, if it is a clan then it will be a clan ability and if you go for the Extension route it will need to be a paid ability meaning you would have to pay points to unlock the ability and it's uses as the passive is basically Status Genjutsu in Ninjutsu form


first off all passives scale from the Strength of the Jutsu itself not from the stats of the user, this is to stop a simple D-Rank being able to deal S-Rank effects. You also do not need to state the passive in your jutsu as all your jutsu will include the passive on contact, another thing we don't allow is jutsu that protect yourself from your own passive so your own character can be hurt by this passive if it comes into contact with him.

We run off a Pyramid system for Jutsu here as you may have read, once you have 5 D Ranks and 5 C ranks you can start the base of the pyramid from B-Rank instead of having to make more D and C Rank. Your pyramid falls apart after B Rank so to support the 3 S ranks you have you need 2 more B-Rank Jutsu and 1 A-Rank.

Ōgonshoku Nagare * Midas Touch - "The water has a control of 5 and can be removed by an equal or higher control" Should read as"The water has a strength of 5 and can be removed if the target has equal or higher control."

Ōgonshoku Nagare * Treasure Weapon - Should only do the unnerving passive, adding confusion on top of that is a no.

Ōgonshoku Nagare * Golden Gun - "D-rank explosion" Can we reword this to include the numerical strength of a D-Rank Explosion rather than the rank.
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Kao
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by Kao » Sat Jun 29, 2019 12:09 am

2 days
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Akari KotaruBanninIwagakure no Sato Team 18 Jousai [color=#1fb8a3]
Komiya ShizuoJounin Iwagakure no Sato [color=#209DD3]
Yanagida Yukino Special Jounin Iwagakure no Sato [color=#a07ac2]
Ishiwara SetsunaChuunin Iwagakure no Sato[color=#E81D1D]
Enkouten Mai Jounin Iwagakure no Sato [color=#CE5412]
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Awai FusaeA-Rank MNKonohagakure no Sato[color=#D95FEA]
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Sakata KannaIwagakure Councilwoman [color=#3DA43B]
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Ōgonshoku Nagare: Golden Stream

Post by Niro » Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:48 pm

Timed

If you'd like the code for this please PM one of us mods and we'll gladly grab it for you
#MakeIwaGreatAgain
NameVillageRankTeam
Tatsuo [color=#940839][b]IwaTsuchikageTeam 18 Jousai
Kinomichi [color=limegreen][b]IwaBanninJousai
Kotetsu [color=slategray][b]IwaGeninTeam 7
Ashura [color=coral][b]SunaGenin
Sai [color=#FF14A1][b]Kiri - MND-Rank
Yamato [color=#C71585][b]KiriA-Rank

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