ANBU MODIFICATION

[Legacy]

Application: ANBU ORG
Change: Adding a New Paragraph to the History section of the ANBU page

+ Paragrah :





With the organization under his command, Gene now intends to bolster Konoha's swift response divisions and increase the spectrum of which Anbu maintain's influence. Moreover, he has begun working closely with Mamorinuku to sure up boarder and domestic security following in the example of the Third ANBU commander before him. Moreover, the modernization of the organization by way of inducting newer policies too help handle engagements as well as the recruiting of new prospects where possible are all part of the up and coming ANBU agenda. Per usual the hunt for those missing from the village continues but has seemingly taken a back seat to that of developing the organizations defenses, outpost regions and secondary Headquarters with which has yet to have its future location be determined. In addition to working directly along side the Hokage; Gene has opted to take counsel (albeit unofficial advice) from the Organizations previous Commander in hopes to learn from the successes and failures of the man before him - promising only the best possible results for the Organization as a whole.



Payment: N/A

[Director]

This sounds like a Gene history update and not an ANBU one. Mentioning his promotion is fine, but its pretty much a sum of Gene's achievements, not ANBUs.

[Legacy]

It is a brief sum of the events leading up to the promotion as it should be. Later achievements more closely linked to the organization will be placed as they come along though as the ANBU at this and that point, were an integral part of Gene's tenure as a Chunin (both Spirit battles took place under ANBU jurisdiction for Gene] i felt that it were necessary to speak at length about what happened to get him here.

[Kao]

This addennum is entirely too focused on Gene. If you reword it so that it's not something that is all about Gene, then the history can be updated.

[Legacy]

Edited

[Niro]

This still heavily reads from his point of view and not from the point of view of the organization.

Should cut everything besides



With the organization under the command of a new Commander, ANNU now intends to bolster Konoha's swift response divisions and increase the spectrum of which ANBU maintains influence. Moreover, it has begun working closely with Mamorinuku to shore up border and domestic security following in the example of the Third ANBU commander. Moreover, the modernization of the organization by way of inducting newer policies to help handle engagements as well as the recruiting of new prospects where possible are all part of the up and coming ANBU agenda. Per usual the hunt for those missing from the village continues but has seemingly taken a back seat to that of developing the organizations defenses, outpost regions and secondary Headquarters with which has yet to have its future location be determined.

Everything else should be put into his personal character sheet

[Legacy]

I noticed that each Commander has been given a small section that details a bit about them on the org page. This would be no different and virtually states the exact same thing minus reiterating who the fourth Commander is by name.

[Kao]

You can mention him by name but everything else reads too personally and like a pat on the back to your character. The org page info needs to be more neutral.

[Legacy]

Okay, so what I'm going to do is remove the entire First paragraph for the sake of the Org description but submit a Mod for Gene's updated history including both. In doing so, everyone is happy.

[Niro]

1/2

[Kao]

Accepted