Haruka’s first jutsu addition

[Kaitos10]

Application: viewtopic.php?f=85&t=8342582
Change:changing name from Haruka izumi to Izumi haruka since got the order of the name wrong when I first submitted the app
Next adding the d rank jutsu that was trained in a current thread finally says I have 30 ryo on sheet spend 6 of the ryo from that on a c rank nendo jutsu using the rest of ryo to boost endurance

Reverberating ravens
C-rank Nendo Ninjutsu
The user will perform a series of handseals, creating two raven sized bombs of clay from the ground or an existing source of clay. Once released, the ravens will fly forward at [Control] speed, up to 25m from the user. Upon reaching their maximum distance, or when the user performs the [Kai] technique, the ravens will explode outward. Unlikely typical bombs, these birds are tightly packed, the explosive energy causing the clay to rapidly heat and then cool. This process - upon exploding - causes the clay to produce a bright light similar to a flash bomb, that causes 2 posts of blindness and distorted vision for anyone looking directly at it. The passive nature of Clay jutsu does not activate in this technique.

Also training these jutsu below

Landmine stomp
D rank nendo Ninjutsu
After the user finishes channeling chakra for this jutsu It lets the user focus pure nendo chakra into the feet that activates when coming in contact with a solid surface. On contact with the solid surface the chakra causes a explosion to occur in any one direction the user wants this happens in a wide cone. The explosions power is tied to control strength and activates control speed as well as 10 meter cone plus the standard increase with rank the cone is 10 meters wide and 10 meters long in the direction she chooses.

Exploding kunai
D rank nendo Ninjutsu
After the user performs the current hand signs the user of this jutsu creates clay from the ground or some external source to create a kunai that when thrown explode on contact or when kai is used. The explosions power is tied to control strength with a explosion that’s 10 meter radius plus the standard increase with rank

Also adding d rank taijutsu stance

caipora stance
C-Rank Taijutsu Stance
[Acrobatics]
The user will adjust their stance to being light on their feet, dropping their hands. While in this stance, the user is able to transition between caipora style moves more easily, the unorthodox movements result in an effective debuff of -3 speed against those without experience fighting styles like this or an appropriately ranked perception technique.

Finally spending 24 ryo to increase endurance from 4 to 10

Payment:

viewtopic.php?f=65&t=8342546&p=4180460#p4180460

viewtopic.php?f=65&t=8342801&p=4181085#p4181085

viewtopic.php?p=4180811#p4180811

[Kabu]

Land mine stomp <- Size of explosion?

[Kaitos10]

Is 1meter for everything 5 points of control too big?

[Kabu]

works by me

[Kaitos10]

Fixed it

[Kabu]

1/2

[Kaitos10]

Added a new jutsu that just finished training and added ryo from a thread source

[Gilak]

Land mine stomp <-- Channeling or Handsigns?
Exploding Kunai <-- Channeling or Handsigns?

[Kaitos10]

Hand signs I guess but didn’t know I had to pick one or the other for them the rules on channeling never said so or at least never saw that

[Ace Trainer]

"also adding 5 ryo from a thread"

Where is the 5 ryo coming from? If it was a graded thread it was added when the mod graded it.

I don't know what a D-rank Nendo is, is it a type of ninjutsu? Should say D-rank Nendo Ninjutsu then.

[Kaitos10]

"also adding 5 ryo from a thread"

Where is the 5 ryo coming from? If it was a graded thread it was added when the mod graded it.

I don't know what a D-rank Nendo is, is it a type of ninjutsu? Should say D-rank Nendo Ninjutsu then.

Ahhh ok didnt Know that points get added when the mod grades it that’s why I linked it in payment

Though my app was never converted to ryo when the points where added so that’s why I thought they were left over from when I did the app some how

Also fixed the nendo issue and adding ninjutsu to each one like you suggested

[Gilak]

1/2

[Ace Trainer]

Caipora stance
D-Rank Taijutsu
This stance lets the user more easily transition into other taijutsu moves especially caipora style moves in addition to giving +3 speed -3 chakra pool it can also be used to get opponents to let down there guard because it looks exactly like there dancing instead of taking a fighting stance and takes. C rank perception technique to tell otherwise

I don't understand this. Why does it give a -3 CP?
It would also require only a D-rank to see through (as it is a D-rank technique). But I don't really get what this is supposed ot be doing, like, this technique wno't force someone to put their guard down but the way its written implies they have ot unless they have the perception tech.

[Kaitos10]

Fixed everything

[TheLacarix]

To be honest, these are all quite hard to read. I think you need to go over them and perhaps use the archives as a base of how to format your jutsu. Once that’s done I’ll go over these again.

[Kaitos10]

To be honest, these are all quite hard to read. I think you need to go over them and perhaps use the archives as a base of how to format your jutsu. Once that’s done I’ll go over these again.

I honestly can’t tell what’s wrong with them they appear to be formatted the same with the archived doton jutsu are so no idea what your problem is I also posted them in discord mod questions channel and never heard anything so could you please tell me exactly why there so hard to read? And how there different from archived doton jutsu?

[TheLacarix]

Firstly, there is no coding whatsoever.

Just a few examples;

‘The user activates hand signs - the user channels’ The term is usually, ‘After performing the correct hand seals’.

The explosion works at control strength and control speed < Works? I do not know what you mean.

1 meter big for every 5 points of control < 1 Meter big? Is a very peculiar way to write the size.


There are more instances of this and as I said, they are difficult to read and it isn’t always clear what you’re attempting to do with within the jutsu. If you’re struggling, as I said the archives are a great resource on how to write, structure and format jutsu.

[Kaitos10]

No idea how to do the coding

But I think I fixed the rest no idea why there so hard to read, one basically just makes kunai that go boom the other causes explosions with you feet similar to land mind fist from the series

[TheLacarix]

I'm not sure what else to suggest then, the coding is in the archives if you'd like to copy that.

[Kaitos10]

I'm not sure what else to suggest then, the coding is in the archives if you'd like to copy that.

Ok just copied the no code from chiton is this better?

[TheLacarix]

1/2

[Nafan~]

Remove the * from before each technique, the * indicates an archived technique.

*Reverberating ravens
C rank nendo Ninjutsu
^ eyesight not eye site. Needs a range as to how far away these brids can be created.

*Exploding kunai
D rank nendo Ninjutsu
^ This does explosions and multi-projectile. too complex for a D-rank. Needs to be C minimum.

[Kaitos10]

Fixed it

[Ace Trainer]

The asterisks are still there for 2 of the jutsu.

Reverberating ravens
C rank nendo Ninjutsu
After performing the correct hand seals, the user of this jutsu creates clay from the ground or some external source. To create 2 raven sized clay bombs that can fly around at control speed to a max distance of 25m afterwards they disappear When these ravens explode they act more as flash bangs instead of actual bombs causing them to release a bright multi colored light similar to fire works that’s capable of damaging the opponent’s eye site maybe even blinding them temporarily the strength of the light works on [control] strength the user is also allowed to control the shape and color of the bright light so can be used as normal fire works. Nendo passive is disabled for this jutsu

You can't control light, as that would be from the Awai. You can produce light, as a byproduct of the techniques properties.

I'd rewrite it as.

Reverberating Ravens
C-rank Nendo Ninjutsu
The user will perform a series of handseals, creating two raven sized bombs of clay from the ground or an existing source of clay. Once released, the ravens will fly forward at [Control] speed, up to 25m from the user. Upon reaching their maximum distance, or when the user performs the [Kai] technique, the ravens will explode outward. Unlikely typical bombs, these birds are tightly packed, the explosive energy causing the clay to rapidly heat and then cool. This process - upon exploding - causes the clay to produce a bright light similar to a flash bomb, that causes 2 posts of blindness and distorted vision for anyone looking directly at it. The passive nature of Clay jutsu does not activate in this technique.

[Kaitos10]

Shit thought I removed those >.< also I didn’t mean control light just meant that could change the light the bombs produced each time so for example one posts it’s just a plain bright light but another time she makes the light it could be red

But made the changes you suggested

[Zao]

For stomp and kunai, jutsu naturally grows in size with control and at a larger rate then you have in your jutsu. Don't want you selling yourself short.

Jutsu Ranges per Rank are static but are increased by 10 meters per every +5 Strength/Speed passed their Rank Average Strength/Speed. For example, if you had 30 Control and cast a D-rank Fireball jutsu, it would increase its range by 50 meters. Jutsu Sizes are increase by 3 meters per every +5 Strength/Speed passed their initial size. For example, your D-rank Fireball jutsu with 30 Control would shoot for 60 meters in total but the actual projectiles size would be its initial size + 15 meters in radius.

And for landline

On contact with the solid surface the chakra causes a explosion to occur in any one direction the user wants. The explosions power is tied to control strength and activates control speed as well as 1 meter radius for every 5 points of control

You mention blaat being in any one direction but go on to say in a 1 meter radius at the end. Just need you to clarify if its a one direction or a radius from the point.

Looking good though, almost there!

[Kaitos10]

Fixed it

[Zao]

Unless I missed something you should be good now.

1/2

[Kabu]

Accepted