Pt. 1 The Dark in a Little More Light

[Amy]

Link to Roleplay: The Dark in a Little More Light

Link to Original Grading: See here

Roleplayers Involved: Amy and Toshi

Characters Involved: Tsubaki and Tousha

Notes: This is the third thread in a consecutive series, this is the previous one, and Tsubaki has [Accountant]. No really specific feedback, we are just interested how the pacing is between all three threads I have posted

[Kanade]

Grading this right now, starting with the first in the series.

[Kanade]

Alright, in the spirit of the peer review I'll be doing a bit more of a detailed grade for this thread with the context of the previous two threads and having read the other two threads after before I graded his one (for a more cohesive whole to the story)

For what you're asking for (I am going to copy and paste this part in all 3 gradings) I thought that the pacing was fine. It did drag a bit in the bath house as your characters got to know each other, but they played off of one another well, so that was a bit less distracting. The pacing is always funky when there are bits of the previous post or quotes in your post (I find) so that part is a bit jarring every time I read it, as I have already read the post above, and don't usually need a highlight of exactly what was said. That being said, it's hard to interrupt and let the flow happen like a novel and I understand the creative drawbacks to a forum roleplay so for a forum roleplay where you aren't able to edit in responses but have to do a block response the pacing was well done. It seemed that you both knew where to end it and didn't god-mod eachother.

I enjoyed the bath house fun and the cliffhanger that came at the end was really fun. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good bath and chill episode. It was well done setting up the fall at the end, as I didn't expect it. It reminded me of the rests that happen in the middle of a saga, where the characters are given a bit of a respite before diving deep into the mouth of hell.

out of 13 (which this scale is) I would give this thread an 11, it was good, but not as good as the other threads (in this series of three).

As you both were equal contributors and the posts were roughly the same length, I don't see a reason to differentiate your scores.

That would put this grading at 11+2+3=16x2 for Tousha = 34 ryo.
Amy would have an additional 2 (accountant) for 36 ryo.