Closure
Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 3:24 am
I found myself fixated on thoughts of Saigen today. Memories of the past years I've been a part of this community and all the great stories I've been a part of. The people I've met through this site, not the least of which being my loving wife, have had a large role in shaping me into the man that I am today, for better or for worse. This site has been the source of some of my greatest ups and most terrible downs, and everything in between. I can honestly say that without Saigen, I would not be where I am in life today. And for that, I have to thank everyone who had a hand in keeping the site running for the 8 long years that I was a part of it. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I thank those of you who kept this place alive long enough for me to experience all that I have.
But, all of that said, this will be my last post on this forum.
I suppose it was foolish of me to expect that I would always love Saigen. To expect that, come what may, Saigen would be a constant source of entertainment throughout my life. To expect that the site, the people, and myself would always be the same, or at least that whatever changes might come would be changes that I enjoyed. So call me a fool, because those are exactly the things that I thought and felt for those 8 years, even when I took breaks or "quit" the board for a time. Some part of me always knew that I would come back eventually. Give it time, cool off, go do something else for a while, and come back fresh and excited and ready to pump out a few hundred posts of epic stories with people I called friends. Because Saigen would always be there, right? It would always be what I remembered, what I wanted it to be.
But it's not. And I don't know that it ever will be again. The board has changed so much in the time I've been around. More system, less system, more stats, less stats, more points, less points, and the constantly expanding and changing lists of rules and system options; And that's only the mechanical side of things. The world has also changed so much in those 8 years, and for the most part each change that has taken place has either been something that I personally enjoyed, or at least understood the reasons behind. But it's no secret that the past year or so, the changes and movements put forth have involved a great many things that I never wanted to see or be a part of. And I don't expect that to change.
Let me be clear and sincere - to those of you who enjoy the current direction that Saigen is going in, I'm genuinely happy for you. I'm glad that you all will continue to be a part of something that was such a large part of my life, something that was instrumental in helping me develop my creative side as much as I have, not to mention the litany of discoveries I've made about myself just from being a part of this community. I truly hope that you make the best of it, and that Saigen is a positive influence on your life. This isn't meant to sound like some final jab at the board or those who have lead it's development down the current path it's taking, It isn't meant to be petty or anything of the sort. I honestly want Saigen to do good for others, as it did for me.
But I think at this point, it's clear that Saigen will no longer be able to be what I want or need it to be. And instead of the slow pulling I've been doing, the watching and lurking I've done over the past few months, I need to get it over with... I need to pull this bandage off, even if it hurts.
Consider all of my characters dead. All of my points and gear lost to the void. All of my current story arcs and those involved with them, consider them defunct. I deeply apologize to any and all that this negatively impacts. I obviously won't be putting up any mods to accomplish this, so whether or not any of this actually gets done is up in the air, though it doesn't really matter either way. I don't care how the explanations carry out ICly, whatever makes the most sense I suppose. It doesn't concern me anymore.
Those who want to contact me privately, there are still people on this board who have my info as far as I know. If you reach out through the grape vine, I'm sure you'll be able to get in touch with me somehow if you don't already have the information you need to contact me. I only ask that you don't ask me to come back to Saigen. I don't want to have that conversation...
Regardless of the arguments that have taken place over the years, and the hurt feelings that have resulted from them, I love each and every one of you. I have some regrets in my life, but joining Saigen will never be one of them. Continue to enjoy the stories of this board, for my sake, and the sake of all the others who won't be coming back to see those stories.
Goodbye, Saigen.
-Tyler
But, all of that said, this will be my last post on this forum.
I suppose it was foolish of me to expect that I would always love Saigen. To expect that, come what may, Saigen would be a constant source of entertainment throughout my life. To expect that the site, the people, and myself would always be the same, or at least that whatever changes might come would be changes that I enjoyed. So call me a fool, because those are exactly the things that I thought and felt for those 8 years, even when I took breaks or "quit" the board for a time. Some part of me always knew that I would come back eventually. Give it time, cool off, go do something else for a while, and come back fresh and excited and ready to pump out a few hundred posts of epic stories with people I called friends. Because Saigen would always be there, right? It would always be what I remembered, what I wanted it to be.
But it's not. And I don't know that it ever will be again. The board has changed so much in the time I've been around. More system, less system, more stats, less stats, more points, less points, and the constantly expanding and changing lists of rules and system options; And that's only the mechanical side of things. The world has also changed so much in those 8 years, and for the most part each change that has taken place has either been something that I personally enjoyed, or at least understood the reasons behind. But it's no secret that the past year or so, the changes and movements put forth have involved a great many things that I never wanted to see or be a part of. And I don't expect that to change.
Let me be clear and sincere - to those of you who enjoy the current direction that Saigen is going in, I'm genuinely happy for you. I'm glad that you all will continue to be a part of something that was such a large part of my life, something that was instrumental in helping me develop my creative side as much as I have, not to mention the litany of discoveries I've made about myself just from being a part of this community. I truly hope that you make the best of it, and that Saigen is a positive influence on your life. This isn't meant to sound like some final jab at the board or those who have lead it's development down the current path it's taking, It isn't meant to be petty or anything of the sort. I honestly want Saigen to do good for others, as it did for me.
But I think at this point, it's clear that Saigen will no longer be able to be what I want or need it to be. And instead of the slow pulling I've been doing, the watching and lurking I've done over the past few months, I need to get it over with... I need to pull this bandage off, even if it hurts.
Consider all of my characters dead. All of my points and gear lost to the void. All of my current story arcs and those involved with them, consider them defunct. I deeply apologize to any and all that this negatively impacts. I obviously won't be putting up any mods to accomplish this, so whether or not any of this actually gets done is up in the air, though it doesn't really matter either way. I don't care how the explanations carry out ICly, whatever makes the most sense I suppose. It doesn't concern me anymore.
Those who want to contact me privately, there are still people on this board who have my info as far as I know. If you reach out through the grape vine, I'm sure you'll be able to get in touch with me somehow if you don't already have the information you need to contact me. I only ask that you don't ask me to come back to Saigen. I don't want to have that conversation...
Regardless of the arguments that have taken place over the years, and the hurt feelings that have resulted from them, I love each and every one of you. I have some regrets in my life, but joining Saigen will never be one of them. Continue to enjoy the stories of this board, for my sake, and the sake of all the others who won't be coming back to see those stories.
Goodbye, Saigen.
-Tyler