All right!
Let me start with the positive things! The story of the aftermath of the destruction of one's life and culture is always a poignant one, especially when 'civilization' is used as an excuse. I was impressed that you made your character actually strong-looking (at least that's how I interpret 'large stature') and scarred, rather than go 'oh, she looks thin and beautiful and spindly, but is actually pretty strong' like many people do (myself included). It adds a note of realism to things.
Nevertheless, there are some things which bug me a bit. First of all, it's Willow. While the concept of the tough woman warrior and her bear friend has a lot of potential, I find it difficult to grasp her personality, or the world in which she lived. For now, it feels like there isn't enough specificity - that her story could be the story of any child in her settlement. What is it that makes Willow special? The story tells us that she was unusually strong for her age, but how did that affect her interactions with others? Was she a bit of a bully, using her force to get her own way? Was she a protector of the weaker children (and how did that fit with her apparent belief that strength is important?), or an ostracized loner, or the one who led others to adventures, pranks and mischief? We know that her father is important to her, but what about her mother or the rest of her family? How did it affect her that she no longer had those interractions? Did she miss little things, like chores? Was there no one she could contact in the years she lived alone, no distant relative or tribemember, or did she not do it because...pride? Or despise? It doesn't have to be directly stated, but understanding what makes Willow tick would help the story grow more vivid. 'Understanding what makes one tick' also applies to Egilhard. Was he truly bullied that badly that he
cheered for the wild girl who killed several grown men in front of him just because she had communication issues, just because the same girl saved him from getting a beating? Even if those mercenaries had been particularly unpleasant to him and/or the townspeople, wouldn't he be at first...I don't know, more shocked?
If it's a culture thing, to appreciate strength almost regardless of moral position, or at least where outsiders are concerned (pretty common thing), I feel this needs to be stated more clearly. Also, I feel that the crowd's motivations also need a bit of clarification. It confuses me
why they cheer when Willow used what nowadays one might call 'cheating' to win. Again, if it's a culture thing, if it was perfectly normal for fistfights to allow improvised weapons, this needs to be indicated.
Secondly, in terms of realism, some bits felt a bit jarring. On vocabulary: The mixture of German and Old English in the first chapter felt a bit odd, considering that it couldn't be consistent with the rest of the story. I know that you tried to add a bit of local color (which is great, and exactly what you should keep trying to do! ^^ ). Perhaps the insults would help with that? This is just a suggestion. The evolution of curse words is quite fascinating, and, because they are often associated with gods (for the power implied in the name) and/or disgusting things ('Holy shit!' being an example of both, they can help us undestand what other cultures find holy or disgusting. 'Fuck' and 'shit' are some which have survived throught ages, so 'You will hold your fucking position!' sounds genuine. However, 'Holy shit!' doesn't so much, because it's associated with the Medieval period, when things holy were particularly strongly associated with swear-words (eg. God's wounds, God's blood, God's nails are typical Medieval curses). Similarly, 'badass' in its nowadays common form is a pretty new word (1950s aprox.). Think: what would be vulgar and/or holy for the mercenaries? Did they have a god (perhaps one among many), did their god have a name, did the god have any particular bit of anatomy/behaviour worth mentioning (like Viking stories often use 'Odin's beard', although that might be becoming a bit overused)?
Everything I said is just my opinion and it could as well be wrong. That's the nature of opinions ) That said, I'm really impressed that you wrote so much (I couldn't!), and I feel that the base of the story is pretty strong. Please continue it ^^
