Shaolóng, Gōkariki

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Mre-face
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Shaolóng, Gōkariki

Post by Mre-face » Thu Jul 23, 2020 7:13 pm

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The anger wells
The Calm
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The clouds that form before
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The Storm
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Dragon's Fury
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Shaolóng, Gōkariki
Shao, lóng, Ariki
"Good and Evil two sides of the same coin..."
General Information Age:20
Gender:Male
Height: 5'5 165 cm
Weight: 187 lbs 85 kg
Physical Features: If one were to describe Ariki it would be extremely muscular and dense this mainly stems from his below average height giving him a stocky and wide appearance. His upper body is incredibly big and wide giving him an imposing appearance combined with an incredibly thick lower body that is incredibly defined. He is also very lean and his waist is small giving him a incredibly musuclar appreance even in thick clothes. He has relatively short and messy hair, with strong features and a scar that goes across his eye from his rigorous training. He also has Strong intense green eyes that pierce anything that he looks at.
Clothing/Accessories:Gōkariki tends to wear a long white coat with a black tight fitted shirt and white bontan pants with black boots to top it all of.
Personality:
  • General:Gōkariki has seen and heard many deals of horrible things one of them being tales of war and witnessing the death of his sister and friend blaming it on his own "weakness" Which has lead him to seek power in order to never be or feel weak again. He also believes that most if not all people are selfish and arrogant and believe that there is always a hint of evil inside everyone and that evil takes hold quite often, this has made him very untrusting and cold. All of this combined has granted him his most notable and detremental personality trait his incredible anger and aggression, having quite a short fuse but a continuous rage if that fuse were to be blown... Despite all of this he can be quite light-hearted and fun even funny on some occasion yet his interior is still most equivalent to an active volcano.
  • Hopes/Dreams:To find true peace within himself and the world and move on becoming a hero in the eyes of the people.
  • Fears:Not being able to save people from the evil that humans create. Feeling weak again...
  • Combat Mentality:Gōkariki is an incredibly aggressive in your face nintai fighter that loves to grapple and smash, slam and throw foes around like ragdolls. At first, He also uses sophisticated martial arts to complement his grappling if that were to fail. He starts of semi-aggressive and progressively increases as he becomes angrier and in the process becomes stronger using a combination of close-range explosive moves and sometimes utilizes ranged moves to close the distance. All in all, even the strongest don't want to get hit by Ariki as he channels every bit of rage into his attacks creating huge explosions from his physical strength and ninjutsu.

Battle Information Village:
Rank:A-rank
  • Endurance:35
  • Chakra Pool:15
  • Control:25
  • Strength:35
  • Speed:20
  • Willpower:10
  • Fury: 29

    Equipment:
    Companions: (0/1)
    Primary Affinity: N/A
    Abilities and Concentrations
    Abilities
    First Ability
    Dragon's FuryShow
    The source of Ariki's power much to his dismay. For some reason when Ariki becomes angrier he becomes stronger and is somehow able to channel more energy in everything he does. Making him a monster to deal with if he is pushed to the edge this can make him incredibly vicious and completely lose his senses and attack anyone or anything that comes his way if pushed to the limit. This anger is represented by his fury stat that starts at 1 at every thread and increases only through taking damage at a rate of 1/5 of the strength from the attack. Meaning if he gets hit by someone with 10 strength he will only get 1 point rounded down worth on the Fury stat. This stat also increases 2 points for every post a fight continues but not when there is no combat. When he hits certain stat thresholds that unlock his different forms where he gets access to new techniques and abilities. However, when these abilities are in use it can only He can also activate his buffs separately from his abilities by fully tapping into his rage however this only lasts for 5 posts. After those five posts, he cannot reactivate the buffs. He can use these abilities for 1/5 of his rage stat in posts. And he can reuse them at 1/2 time of the post that has been used. So if he used his abilities fo 6 posts he can reuse them after 3 posts. Because of his explosive temperament and not being able to utilize it constantly, in order to do as much damage as possible he needs to contain his rage and release it in the perfect moment to deal as much damage as possible.
    Second Ability
    Force of NatureShow
    Another side effect of Gōkariki's rage is that getting hit with attacks makes him hold a certain resentment and a sort of an eye for an eye feeling, which intern makes him build up a massive amount of chakra. If he gets hit struck by an attack essentially allowing him to absorb 1/2 of an attack's strength that hits him for a maximum of his [Controlx2] meaning this however does not negate the damage or lessen the damage in any way. If Gōkariki gets hit by someone with 50 strength he will absorb 1/2 of that strength that he can use to retaliate with either physically or can be used to boost stats for ninjutsu techniques that he uses which also has a side effect increases the size of the ninjutsu. If he uses it to retaliate physically it will be released as explosive shockwaves. He cannot release more chakra than his Control stat allows for.
    Third Ability
    Concentrations
    Ninjutsu
    NinjutsuShow
    Ninjutsu: Advanced Channeling:
    This user has superb chakra control and has learned to perform jutsu by channeling, without the use of hand seals. The user can channel any Ninjutsu that is designed to be channel, and there are no specified parameters in which a jutsu must fall to be channeled by this method.
    Taijutsu
    TaijutsuShow
    Close Quarters Combat:
    The fundamental skill of [Close Quarters Combat] indicates the user's proficiently to efficiently utilize martial arts and advanced combat moves involving the body for example but not limited to, adv kicks, grapples, adv punches, etc.
    Rigid Structure:
    The fundamental skill of [Rigid Structure] describes the user’s ability to adeptly position and lock in their skeletal structure to efficiently absorb blows with minimal damage to their person. This facilitates their use of related Taijutsu.
    Deft Hands:
    The fundamental skill of [Deft Hands] indicates the user’s proficiency with using their hands in very specific and complex movements, like sleight of hand and targeting very small and specific points on an opponent’s body. This facilitates their use of related Taijutsu in various ways.
    Perception:
    The fundamental skill of [Perception] describes the user’s practiced methods of more keenly focussing their senses for a short time. This facilitates their use of related Taijutsu.
    Acrobatics:
    The fundamental skill of [Acrobatics] includes the user’s ability to contort their body into unfamiliar positions in order to avoid attacks, as well as the user’s ability to fall safely and perform Ukemi and other feats of gymnastics. This facilitates their use of related Taijutsu.
    Medicine:
    The fundamental skill of [Medicine] describes the user’s mental and physical ability to perform traditional and mainstream medicinal practices. This facilitates their use of related Taijutsu.
    Genjutsu
    GenjutsuShow
    Sight Initiation:
    This user has learned to use visual cues to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to perform actions, or draw the eyes to something to capture their targets in a genjutsu.
    Sound Initiation:
    This user has learn to use sound cues to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to create sounds and sustain sounds to capture their targets in a genjutsu.
    Scent Initiation:
    This user has learn to use smells to intiate genjutsu. Allowing them to utilize and produce various scents to capture their targets in genjutsu.
    Touch Initiation:
    This user has learn to use physical sensations to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to physical touch the target, or touch them with objects to capture their targets in genjutsu.
    Taste initiation:
    This user has learn to use taste to initiate genjutsu. Allowing them to use flavors to capture their targets in genjutsu.

    Jutsu
    NinjutsuShow
    *Ninjutsu • Chakra Burst
    D-Ranked Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into one of their fists, the user will then attempt to strike their target and if successful, they will release additional concussive force in the form of an outward explosion with [Control] Strength from their fist. If the user does not strike a target within 3 posts the jutsu dissipates.

    *Ninjutsu • Tracking Device
    D-Ranked Ninjutsu
    After performing the correct hand seals the user will coat one of their hairs in chakra. Once this has been done, they will place it on their target. The user can track the exact location of the strand of hair for up to 10 meters. For up to 20 meters out, the user can track a rough location. From then out to 100 meters, the user just gets a general direction of where the opponent is. The chakra in the hair will dissipate at the end of 6 posts.

    Ninjutsu • Shield
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into his hands, the user will straighten their arm and cause a round wall of chakra that is 2m in diameter in front of them. Forming at a speed of [Control] and has a strength of [Control]

    Ninjutsu • Welder
    D-Rank Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into his, the user will straighten their finger and cause a tiny ray from their finger that is about 30 centimeters wide to be fired at a strength of [Control] and speed with a range of 1.5 meters.
    C-rank

    Ninjutsu • Gatling Gun
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 15 control
    After channeling chakra into his hand, the user will straighten his arm and clench his fist causing multiple small balls of chakra at a rapid pace that fly with [Control] strength and speed he can continuously fire if he keeps channeling. Gōkariki can fire up to 15 shots per post.

    Ninjutsu • Orb
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into his hand, the user will straighten his arm and open his hand as if holding a ball causing a 2-meter orb of chi to fly that with [Control] strength and speed.

    Ninjutsu • Ray
    C-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: Ninjutsu • Welder
    After channeling chakra into the palm of his hand, the user will straighten their hand as if holding a ball and cause ray to shoot from their palm to be fired at a strength of [Control] and speed. This ray is slightly larger than the previous technique being about a meter wide.
    B-rank

    Ninjutsu • Double Gatling
    B-Rank Ninjutsu
    Prerequisite: 24 control, Gatling Gun
    After channeling chakra into his hand, the user will straighten his arms and clench his fists causing multiple 6 cm small balls of chakra to fly at a rapid pace from both his arms that has [Control] strength and speed, He can continuously fire if he keeps channeling.
    Gōkariki can fire up to 25 shots per post.

    Ninjutsu • Beam
    B-Rank Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into his, the user will straighten their hands and then pull back as if holding a large ball and cause the beam to shoot from their palms to be fired at a strength of [Control] and speed. This technique can be continuously fired if channeled and also yields more control for the user being able to move around along with his hands. The beam is usually about a 1/4 of Gōkariki's [control] in width A-rank

    [Ninjutsu • Rasengan]
    A-Ranked Ninjutsu
    After channeling chakra into his hands Araki concentrates a contained, fast, and rotating sphere of chakra in the palm of their hand creating a spinning ball of chakra that hits at a strength of [Control] and can send opponents spiraling off 5 meters per point of thet jutsu's strength vs the opponent's strength.
    TaijutsuShow
    FerocityShow
    Ferocity:
    Ferocity is not a style of the fight more so a state of mind using only pure anger to fight. His fighting style revolves around overwhelming aggression and strength. Mostly utilizing savage blitzing assaults then grappling, slamming and throwing around foes to inflict as much damage as possible and immobilizing foes. Implanting fear in the heart of enemies as a result. This style also melds in Nintaijutsu to further enhance Gōkariki's devastating power from dangerous to very lethal levels.
    D-rank

    Gōkariki Kiss
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    After closing the distance Gōkariki will attempt to grabs his opponent's head and rams his cranium straight into the opponent's nose to try break their nose and cause bleeding. This can be debilitating as blood starts to fill the nose making it difficult to breathe. This requires 5 more strength than opponent's strength to successfully break their nose.

    Crashing tackle
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    In this technique, Gōkariki crouches down and rush to try to wraps his arms around his opponent torso or legs and locks them together from there he lifts his enemy and crashes into the ground. This requires Gōkariki to have more strength than his opponent

    Clinch
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    If Gōkariki is close enough he can attempt to either wrap his arms around an opponent's torso or best case grabs his opponent by the head leaving him in an optimal position to either strike or throw his opponent. He can also choose to continuously hold his opponent to either continue striking or try to move his opponent.

    Reversal Throw
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Prerequisite: Perception
    Gōkariki can grab someone's hand or leg during an attack and follow up a counter throw use their momentum to cause them to stumble off-axis and lose their balance.

    Avoiding Rage
    D-ranked Taijutsu discipline
    Prerequisite: 5 Strength, 5 Endurance, 5 willpower,
    Trough Sheer Willpower, Strength and Endurance and Anger Gōkariki will ignore the pain from minor cuts and bruises. C-rank

    Beef Tenderizer
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    If Gōkariki notices that an opponent is on the ground he will than attempt to mount on top of the opponent's chest leaving a bit of space between the inside of his tighs and the opponent's chest, he then drives his full weight down on them and squeeze his thighs to secure himself even tighter. Once in this position, Gōkariki will begin raining down punches, elbows, hammer fists. Causing cuts and bruises and even fractures if it continues long enough. Gōkariki is relentless and will never stop unless the opponent is unconscious, dead, or has given up. If the opponent were to block the damage will take longer by 1 post and instead receive damage on their arms were cuts, bruises, and fractures. When Gōkariki has his legs locked it can be incredibly difficult to escape but the opponent can escape trough multiple ways either trough attacking from their position, manipulating Gōkariki's body or their own body or using creative distractions or jutsu so long as they free themselves from his legs.

    Jaguar Bomb
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    When Gōkariki is in range. Gōkariki can chooses to lift his opponent by the shoulder by placing his head between his opponent's thighs than lifting his opponent by the legs then brining them down rapidly crashing into the ground, as a result, causing damage to his targets back. This will cause a minor fracture to the spine if Gōkariki has 5 more strength than his opponent to cuse.

    I got a Bigger Grab!
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Discipline
    Gōkariki has always had a knack for wrestling, grappling, holds, and throws. His experience combined with his natural talent has to lead him to have an advantage when in a grappling scenario. Knowing how to protect his joints, limbs, and neck if he were to grapple with an opponent. He also knows how to position himself to have the advantage i.e turning a headlock into a suplex of his own.

    Freestyle Grabs
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki has always had a knack for wrestling, grappling, holds and throws. His experience combined with his natural talent earned him the ability to simply improvise if he were to get a hold of his opponent or vice versa. While these improvised throws don't deal as much damage they are quicker and are also not as specific allowing him more time to set up more devastating attacks.

    Ignoring Rage
    C-ranked Taijutsu discipline
    Prerequisite: 15 Strength, 15 Endurance, 10 willpower, Avoding Rage
    Trough Sheer Willpower, Strength and Endurance and Anger Gōkariki will ignore the pain from moderate cuts, gouges, bruises of deep tissues, damage to muscular systems that are not severe enough to prevent movement and first and second-degree burns. B-rank

    Pain Train
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki first gathers full power in his legs then charges forwards at top speed he then extends his arm and aims to crash towards an enemy's neck causing damage he can then choose to follow up by keeping the momentum forward preventing them from falling. He will then throw his arm forwards rapidly and sending them flying or push them forcefully into a wall or another object. This requires 5 more strength to perform.

    Suplex City
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Another Grappling technique designed to break his enemy. This time Gōkariki grabs his opponent by the waist from their back and lifts them over his head while arching his back in a way that causes his enemies to smash into the ground causing major fractures to the upper spinal area if Gōkariki has 5 more strength then his opponent's endurance

    Villanous slam
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki grabs his opponent by the neck lifting them by one hand then slamming them into the ground. Causing potentially lethal damage directly to the throat and neck. Gōkariki must have 5 more strength than his opponent's endurance for this to successfully cause lethal damage to their opponent's neck. A-rank

    Gōkariki SMASH!!!
    A-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Prerequisite: 35 Strength, Beef Tenderizer
    By utilizing Gōkariki's massive strength will smash both his fists into the ground/floor in front of him. The ground will crack and protrude, the area of this will reach up to his strengthx2 in meters and causes massive rocks to shoot up from the ground which can be dangerous for those with -10 lower strength than Gōkarik. The dirt/rocks together form debris that flies off at a great speed, (2/3 of his Strength) the ground will start to shake violently for the next two posts and anyone with -10 Strength will not only lose their balance but be forced to tread carefully so they don't fall if they want to keep staying up. This technique can also be with his other technique Beef Tenderizer where he sits on his opponent and pummles them, if he performs this move while he is in mount he will not only crack the earth beneath him but also completely shatter either the ribs or the skull of his enemy if his strength is 5 more then his opponent's Endurance.
    Lóngshén zhī zhǎo (Claw of the Dragon God)Show
    Dragon God's Claw:
    Dragon God's Claw is an ancient and beautiful style utilized by his Family. Carrying graceful movements yet power and ferocity. The style incorporates Palm strikes, Hammerfists, Elbows, Various Kicks, Knees, Shoulder strikes, and most importantly Claw "fists" Where the user's hands resemble that of claws. It requires extensive training to be used effectively and it's potential has rarely been tapped into. Leaving much to be seen.
    D-rank

    Dragon god's Claw
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Stance
    Gōkariki takes on the stance his hips and legs are tilted to the side with his torso, shoulders, and his head is angled towards his opponent his hands take on a formation similar to that of claws one hand is low and pointed towards his body and one is closer to his head height and pointed towards his opponent.

    Graceful Flow
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Discipline
    Gōkariki has developed footwork from years of training able to move and attack from many angles quickly without much effort.

    Dragon's Limbs
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Discipline
    Gōkariki has learned to use nearly every single part of his body as a weapon with excellence. Everything from knees to palms to his shoulders every single part sharpened to a fine point of skill and power.

    Spartan kick
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    A modified version of a push kick where it focuses more on power than speed and technique while this does allow him to send his enemies flying it does however leave him quite open if he were to miss. For every point of strength that Gōkariki has above his opponent, the distance that the opponent is pushed/flies back increases by 2 meters

    Hooking kick
    D-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki will perform a quick hook kick but will not aim to hit the opponent and instead choose to pull in the opponent between the fold of his knee and his calf and heel. Gōkariki needs to have 5 more strength than his opponent for this to work, however. C-rank

    Shoulder of Iron
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki rams his shoulders first he braces his shoulder locking it in place before stepping off towards the side and then pushing with his entire body into his opponent violently with such power that it sends his enemy flying at a distance of 1/4 of his strength in meters.

    Mighty Knee
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    A rushing knee capable of breaking bones. Gōkariki executes this technique by rapidly rushing in or simply using an immense explosive power to jump and knee at the same time. If this connects it can cause fractures to various parts of the skull or even ribs depending on which body part it connects with. It requires 5 more strength that his opponent's endurance to be successful at causing minor fractures.

    Graceful combos
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki can link multiple different maneuvers quickly and efficiently with little spacing in between everything from fists to palms to elbows. This maneuver doesn't follow a specific pattern, this can be used to confuse and pressure opponents

    Dragon's bite
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki will perform a pushing double claw with on claw over and one under resembling that of a dragon's mouth. If the opponent his hit by this and they have 5 less strength than Gōkariki they will be knocked down on their back for 1 post

    Iron Tail Whip
    C-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki will throw a very strong roundhouse kick by first cocking with his hips, legs, and shoulder exploding quickly before snapping rapidly, in the end, smacking with either his shin or his instep. The power of this kick is capable of causing fractures to any part of the body if enemy endurance is lower than Gōkariki's strength by 5.
    B-rank

    Graceful Deflection
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki sees the timing of an attack, anticipates the trajectory, and acts accordingly gracefully moving it out the way to move in with a counter on his own. His skill with parries has become so great he can deflect arrows and other physical projectiles with his palms, forearms, and elbows so long as he can see and anticipate the trajectory.

    Sweep of the bones
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Prerequisite: 35 Strength
    Gōkariki violently sweeps causing the opponent to be sent of their feet then upon the return of the rotation he then delivers an open palm strike violently to their stomach. Causing them to fly off in the distance 1/2 of Gōkariki's strength in meters.

    Heavenly foot of Pain
    B-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gōkariki Raises his foot up and then rapidly smashes his heel into the ground with all his strength causing small earthquakes to form as a result. The ground will crack and protrude in an area that reaches up to his strengthx2 in meters and causes large rocks to shoot up from the ground which can be dangerous for those with 15 less strength then Gōkariki. The dirt/rocks together form debris that flies off at a great speed, (1/2 of his Strength) the ground will start to shake violently for the next two posts and anyone with -15 Strength will not only lose their balance but be forced to tread carefully so they don't fall down if they want to keep staying up. He can also perform this move in the air. A-rank

    Dragon Spear
    A-Ranked Taijutsu Maneuver
    Gökariki will explode forward after gathering a massive amount of torque in his legs shooting forward an equal distance to his strength in meters. Before piercing with his fingertips while his arms hands are in a chopping formation. The target is the heart aiming to end the opponent in one swift blow. This attack will be successful if the opponent has 5 less endurance than Gōkariki's strength.


    History
    Historical AccountsShow
    20 years ago a child was born in Guólóng more commonly known as The Land of The Dragon. Gōkariki grew up hearing many war stories of shrimp continents decade long war that split the nations, hating the injustices the war wrought as a result. At the age of 8, he trained until the age of 15 with his older sister of 2 years, Shaolóng, Yu, his father Shaolóng, Gen, his younger of 5 years brother Shaolóng, Lee and close friend Shang, Liu in the east mountain ranges where he practices the ancient and powerful martial art known as Lóngshén zhī zhǎo or Claw of the Dragon God. The art was difficult to learn and difficult to master but it was powerful as a result. Many candidates were dropped and many gave up but Gōkariki persisted and became very gifted in the art until....... The day that large group soldiers arrived from the land of the tiger still holding a grudge against the land of the dragon from the days of the war. They came with specific intentions demanding food, water, warm beds, and women... While offering nothing in return... Whilst Hospitality and accepting gifts were common with the monks it was clear that other intentions were at hand and when the monks offered hospitality with food, and shelter it was never enough, leaching as much as the could and when the monks realized that supplies were running short and the monks weren't feeling as hospitable arguments arose as tension grew the soldiers attacked. Slaughtering anyone they came across. Two of them were his sister and close friend, upon continuous fighting Gōkariki receiving a slash across his eye. Gōkariki saw his friend and sister fighting for their lives but he froze up and began to shake paralyzing fear of making a mistake that could get them killed but by the time he chased away his fear, it was too late. His friend slaughtered and his sister murdered. This marked the first time that Gōkariki snapped. He exploded, screaming and fighting anything that came across his path never stopping until the soldiers were destroyed and Gōkariki. However, his father and brother had managed to find him amidst this rampage and picked him up carrying him away from the temple. Tears covered his face whilst screaming in a pure rage he never found his revenge.

    After multiple days of tracking trough the ice and snow. Gōkariki's father managed to find shelter for his two sons hunting and gathering in order to survive until eventually, they found the hidden village of Sunagakure however they were rejected passage into the village so they were forced to wander again after an entire year of training and surviving with his father and brother.

    They came across a trading village that was allied with Konoha His father spoke with a Shinobi that was on a resupply run and after hearing tales about the good life that was Konohagakure they decided to follow the directions that he Shinobi gave them. They arrived and were allowed permission since his father had told Konoha about their skill as fighters and his trade of board games. Further increasing Gōkariki's doubt of people since they would only care if he was made "useful" for the village in his eyes but he was excited to train as a shinobi after hearing so many stories of their abilities.

    After a few years in the academy, Gōkariki excelled he picked up on concepts quickly and he was very strong for his age and experience being able to completely bulldoze the completion even more so if he were to be angered he passed the chuunin exams with flying colors and proceeded to climb the ranks quickly. He did experience many odd looks since he was foreign and a bit of racism especially if he were to do well in something more then someone else. Known for his strength and endurance he was seen as an exciting prospect but people still had their doubts. He integrated quite well into the culture of Konoha yet doubts from the people made him a bit of an outsider, he also saw multiple cases of infighting and so-called "will of fire" at work where people would use it to do as they pleased. He then heard of the war in kumogakure. Yet another war further increasing his doubts about the credibility and good spirit of people.

    He stayed in Konoha and in his experience the place was just like any other... People exploiting people, miss representing the "will of fire" and despite his efforts to integrate and assist the village as much as possible they still didn't look straight at him. Feeling like no more than a tool of the village so he left at age 20. He waited until the night where he simply walked out of the gates at night carrying no fear of someone stopping him he had walked in harsher environments before and in his years of doing missions he could manage this forest.
Last edited by Mre-face on Sun Oct 25, 2020 8:34 pm, edited 22 times in total.
The Scorpion

Jinsoku,Enzaragi S-Rank MN: Iwa Setsuzoku
Companion
The Swordsman

Yūgana, Mondai B-Rank : Kiri Seven swordsman
Companion
The Angry

Shaolóng, Gōkariki A-Rank : Konoha

Companion

User avatar
Mre-face
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:00 pm

Shaolóng, Gōkariki

Post by Mre-face » Thu Jul 23, 2020 7:19 pm

Dragon's Fury
Gōkariki has always had a quick and explosive temper as a child but nobody would have guessed that it was the source of his power. Nobody knows why he was born the way he was. Some say it was a prophecy that a dragon would one day wreck havoc some say it was a curse or bad luck but one thing is agreed upon that it gives devastating power.
Dragon's Fury
Form NumberDescription for each Form
Base formJust a normal person
AngerNothing special except the usual when someone is angry. Veins start to show themselves higher body temperature, more tightened, and alert muscles.
1+ Strength 2+ Chakra Pool 2+ Control
IreNothing special except more dramatic than the previous stage
2+ Strength 5+ Chakra Pool 5+ Control
Rage Surging chakra upon entering this form, giving a feeling that Gōkariki is channeling chakra around him. Even tenser and more alert muscles with veins popping out even more.
3+ Strength +8 Chakra Pool +8 Control
WrathUpon entering this from Gōkariki "explodes" in a pillar of chakra. Small rocks and pebbles fly from the force however no so forceful that it would harm anyone but a slight amount of force can be felt from entering this form, the ground starts to pulsate from his location from the massive amount of chakra that surges inside of him. He has a constant aura of chakra around him that "leaks" out due to his Wrath. Veins are showing to a large degree and his muscles are very tense.
5+ Strength +10 Chakra Pool +10 Control +5 Speed -5 Willpower
Dragon's FuryUpon entering this from Gōkariki "explodes" in a pillar of chakra. Bigger rocks and pebbles fly from the force however no so forceful that it would harm anyone but a large amount of force can be felt from Gōkariki as he enters this form, the ground starts to pulsate heavily from his location from the gigantic amount of chakra that surges inside of him. He has a constant aura of chakra around him that "leaks" out due to his Fury. Veins are completely showing and his muscles are greatly tense.
5+ Strength +10 Chakra Pool +10 Control +10 Speed +5 Chakra Pool -10 Willpower
Dragon's FuryEffects
10Anger unlockable:The first stage of his anger yields him the ability to summon cloaks around him to protect himself from attacks. This cloak has a durability of 1/3 of Gōkariki's total Rage stat and replenishes in posts based on his Rage stat/5.
15At this Stage, his anger becomes so strong that he gains natural armor from his muscles tensing up this armor has the durability of 1/3 of his Rage stat
20Ire unlockable:The second stage of his ire yields him the ability to summon stronger cloaks around him to protect himself from attacks. This cloak has a durability of 2/5 of Gōkariki's total Rage stat and replenishes in posts based on his Rage stat/6 his natural armor becomes stronger now having the durability of 1/2 of his Rage stat
25 Gōkariki's anger is so great that techniques, drugs, poisons, taijutsu, genjutsu and other illusion used to surpress anger, fear or aggresion are reduced up to C-rank in strength.
30Rage unlockable:The third stage of his rage makes his cloaks even more powerful this time the cloak has a Durability of 2/3 of Gōkariki's total Rage stat and replenishes based on his Rage stat/8 in posts.
35 Gōkariki's anger is so great that techniques, drugs, poisons, taijutsu, genjutsu and other illusion used to surpress anger, fear or aggresion are reduced up to A-rank in strength.
40Wrath:The penultimate stage of his Wrath makes him even more powerful than before his cloak is at it's most powerful and replenishes even faster, boasting durability equal to 3/4 of his Rage stat and replenishes at a rate of his Rage stat/10 in posts. His natural armor becomes even stronger now having the durability of 3/4 of his Rage stat
45His rage is so great and that he starts to somehow heal his wounds to an excessive amount literally being so angry that he refuses to be wounded in order to hurt his foes. This regeneration follows the regeneration rules giving him a -5 in Chakra Pool as a result. viewtopic.php?f=95&t=5925420
50Dragon's Fury unlockable
Dragon's FuryShow
The Final Stage of his anger being so legendary and powerful that it has been given the name of Dragon's Fury in this form he is even more powerful than before however, any semblance of rational thought or reason within his head has left. Leaving him rampaging against anything or anyone that comes his way. His cloak has durability equal to his total Rage stat and replenishes every single post if it were to be destroyed. However, as said before this state leaves him on a rampage and the inability to distinguish friend or foe and also takes a full post to enter since he literally is so angry that he stands to process his anger before completely losing control. When his fury ends he literally passes out leaving him unconsiouss and vulnerable.
Last edited by Mre-face on Thu Oct 15, 2020 4:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by ShinobiTruth » Wed Jul 29, 2020 4:25 pm

General point about Ferocity Style <==== The fact that you have additional effects on these jutsu isn't bad. The way you have some of them worded, however, implies that without meeting the stat for the additional effect, the entire tech is kaput, which is obviously not true. I'd suggest saying "Gokariki must have 5 more Strength than his opponent to crush his neck/break his nose/etc." Don't just say "for this to be successful." Specify that you're referring to the effect itself instead of the jutsu as a whole.

Reversal Throw <==== The way you have this worded makes it sound like a Discipline. I'd get rid of the "built" up his senses to the point that" part. It also seems like you should list Perception as a prerequisite to this (I know you have it, but you're having to read an opponent's attack, and you don't have a formal style description that ennumerates the normal concentrations required for it.)

I Got a Bigger Grab!, Freestyle Grabs <==== Same deal here, worded like Disciplines. These might actually be best as disciplines, but I leave that choice to you.

Gokariki SMASH!!! <==== It would actually be opponent's Strength to resist. Sounds funky, but Endurance is less "how hard of a punch can I hit" and more "how many of those punches can I take before I drop dead." Strength covers what you're trying to do here for the opponent.

Dragon's Limbs <==== "If" isn't necessary there at the start.

Graceful Combos <==== Reads like a Discipline.

Heavenly Foot of Pain <==== I believe you mean to say "15 less strength than Gokariki" in the last part of that technique.

Dragon Spear <==== Strength to resist. Also, "if the opponent's Strength is 5 or lower than Gokariki's Strength."

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Post by Mre-face » Thu Jul 30, 2020 4:52 am

Changed the descriptions so they aren't completely cancelled out.

Gokariki SMASH!!! in regards to this the endurance check is only there if he does this move during the Beef Tenderizer jutsu

also fixed the rest!
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Post by Das Kirb » Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:09 pm

Dragon's FuryShow
The source of Ariki's power much to his dismay. For some reason when Ariki becomes angrier he becomes stronger and is somehow able to channel more energy in everything he does. Making him a monster to deal with if he is pushed to the edge this can make him incredibly vicious and completely lose his senses and attack anyone or anything that comes his way if pushed to the limit. This anger is represented by his fury stat that starts at 1 at every thread and increases only trough taking damage at a rate of 1/6 of the strength from the attack. Meaning if he gets hit by someone with 10 strength he will only get 1 point rounded down worth on the Fury stat. This stat also increases 2 points for every post a fight continues but not when there is no combat. When he hits certain stat thresholds that unlock his different forms where he gets access to new techniques and abilities. He can also activate his buffs by fully fully tapping in to his rage however this only last for 5 posts. After those five posts he he cannot reactivate the buffs. Meaning to do as much damage as possible he needs to contains it and release it in the perfect moment to deal as much damage as possible.
Repeated Word

Ninjutsu • Gatling Gun <-- I feel like I wanna ask how many shots he can fire off per post. I feel a literal gattling gun at C rank might be too much.

Ninjutsu • Ray <-- This feels unfinished. Random "being" at the end. Also, chakra into his what? I assume hand but still. Also, size of the ray?

Ninjutsu • Double Gatling <-- Same as the C rank version, but more shots being possible obv.

[Ninjutsu • Rasengan] <-- I've been gotten onto for stuff like the last sentance. I'd do a control v strength of impacted target to determine speed and distance of pushback.

Gōkariki Kiss <-- Strength is the "armor" stat so this would be strength v strength, or so I've been lead to believe. Also, absolute wording is taboo, even if its assumed the strike must land to be successful.

Crashing tackle <-- Again, absolute wording.

Clinch <-- Absolute wording

Ignoring Rage <-- Can probably be D rank but labled C rank in the D rank section.

Beef Tenderizer <-- Needs built in means of failure.

I do apologize. Here is where I kept getting repeatedly distracted. I'd love for this dude to meet Katsu.

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Post by Mre-face » Sun Aug 02, 2020 7:09 pm

Fixed everything! No problem it's your job to point stuff out! Would also like him to meet Matsu could be fun! Edit: Changed to 1/5 instead of 1/6 "This anger is represented by his fury stat that starts at 1 at every thread and increases only trough taking damage at a rate of 1/5 of the strength from the attack."
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Post by Ace Trainer » Sat Aug 08, 2020 7:39 pm

"(1 in the beginning of a fight) Bought 9+ extra stats"

Remove all that from the fury stat.

"Another side effect of Gōkariki's rage is that getting hit with attacks makes him very angry which intern makes him build up a massive amount of chakra essentially allowing him to absorb 1/2 of an attack's strength that hits him for a maximum of his [Controlx2] meaning if Gōkariki gets hit by someone with 50 strength he will absorb 1/2 of that strength that he can either use those stats retaliate physically or boost both or individual stats in ninjutsu techniques that he uses which also has a side effect increases the size of the ninjutsu. He cannot release more chakra than his Control stat allows for."

I don't understand what this ability does. It reduces the strength of attacks by 1/2 too? Or he gets hit by the full force then absorbs 1/2 the strength? If the latter that should be made explicitly clear.
What does it mean he can retaliate physically or boost both or individual stats in ninjutsu techiques? You need to be clear on what this ability is allowing.

You've also packed a bit too much stuff into Dragon's Fury ability, by my count you have.

A self healing cloak
Super durable skin (bypassing strength stat)
Resistance to fear and calming techniques
Regeneration

I'm not sure you can even do the 3rd one, at least not ot th degree you're suggesting. It also seems to remove one of the major weaknesses to this ability which would be finding ways to calm the target. So, you might need to trim this down a bit.
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Post by Das Kirb » Wed Aug 26, 2020 4:08 pm

Are you still working on this?

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Post by TheLacarix » Sun Aug 30, 2020 5:05 am

24 Hours
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Post by Mre-face » Sun Aug 30, 2020 1:52 pm

Fixed everything and an balanced the abilites out so when he activates the cloaks without the buffs he starts to lose points in the rage stat. Also nerfed his ability to stop calming techniques and instead he can only greatly reduce it up to A-rank.
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Post by Nafan~ » Thu Sep 03, 2020 2:04 am

[Ninjutsu • Rasengan]

can send opponents spiraling off 5 meters per point of strength vs the opponent's strength. <- This wording is somewhat unclear. does this mean per point the jutsu's strength is higher than the opponent's strength?

Ninjutsu • Gatling Gun
C-Rank Ninjutsu

Ninjutsu • Double Gatling
B-Rank Ninjutsu

^ 20 and 40 per post for these ranks is insanely high. Probably halve these. Note that as written this technique will chost chakra per post you continue to channel equal to the rank of the jutsu (you don't have to write this in, just letting you know).


"Bought 9+ extra stats" <- unless you want this to appear on your bio probably delete this.

Ninjutsu • Welder
D-Rank Ninjutsu

^ How far does this extend? Keep in mind this will not produce heat, only force.

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Post by Mre-face » Thu Sep 03, 2020 9:33 am

Done and done!
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Post by ShinobiTruth » Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:34 am

Due to the manner in which you're executing this concept, Dragon's Fury would qualify as a Sage Mode transformation, which comes with a hard post limit of 5 posts. I don't see any mention of that restriction in the Dragon's Fury description. We will need you to include that, please.

EDIT: Discord. My b. Seems good.

1/2

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Post by hobnob » Sat Oct 03, 2020 4:52 am

Ignoring rageShow
Ignoring Rage
C-ranked Taijutsu discipline
Prerequisite: 15 Strength, 15 Endurance, 10 willpower, Avoding Rage
Trough Sheer Willpower, Strength and Endurance and Anger Gōkariki will ignore the pain from moderate cuts, gouges, bruises of deep tissues, damage to muscular systems that are not severe enough to prevent movement and first and second-degree burns.

Ignoring Rage
D-ranked Taijutsu discipline
Prerequisite: 5 Strength, 5 Endurance, 5 willpower,
Trough Sheer Willpower, Strength and Endurance and Anger Gōkariki will ignore the pain from minor cuts and bruises.

I'm assuming one of these suppose to be called avoiding rage?
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Mighty Knee
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A rushing knee capable of breaking bones. Gōkariki executes this technique by rapidly rushing in or simply using an immense explosive power to jump an<d do a knee (???) at the same time if this connects it can cause fractures to various parts of the skull or even ribs depending on which body part it connects with. It requires 5 more strength that his opponent's endurance to be successful at causing minor fractures.
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Post by Mre-face » Sat Oct 03, 2020 5:56 am

Fixed!
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Post by hobnob » Sat Oct 03, 2020 11:03 am

1/2
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Post by Nafan~ » Mon Oct 05, 2020 2:36 am

20 Ire unlockable:The second stage of his ire yields him the ability to summon stronger cloaks around him to protect himself from attacks. This cloak has a durability of 1/3 of Gōkariki's total Rage stat and replenishes based on his Rage stat/6 his natural armor becomes stronger now having the durability of 1/2 of his Rage stat

^ This says the cloaks get stronger but they actually replenish slower at rage /6 rather than rage/5 and have the same durability. Also probably make it clearer that it replenishes at a speed equal to rage / x not just 'replenishes based on' because that's vague. This problem continues for many of the similar upgrades to the cloak thing.

Gōkariki's anger is so great that calming techniques such as taijutsu and genjutsu and illusions their effects are reduced up to C-rank this also goes for fear-based techniques.
Could I ask this be reworded to be more clear? At the moment it's a little rambly.

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Post by Mre-face » Thu Oct 15, 2020 4:22 pm

Fixed everything should be more clear and have fewer mistakes. Could I also remove that he loses rage stat points when he is using his cloaks and such and instead make it so that the armor and cloaks have a time limit based on his rage?
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Post by Sia » Sat Oct 24, 2020 5:48 pm

That sounds more balanced and feasible. I'd support that decision.


Perhaps a table with length of time [1/3] Relevant Stat
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Post by Mre-face » Sun Oct 25, 2020 8:34 pm

Added the time limit and the time limit after the timelimit so that he can reuse the ability.
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Post by TheLacarix » Mon Oct 26, 2020 4:26 pm

1/2
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Post by Ace Trainer » Sun Nov 08, 2020 10:19 am

Accepted
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