A Better Understanding

[Kaida]

The bar had been...an experience to say the least. And it left Akemi feeling more off kilter than before it had happened. Her stress levels had been through the roof lately and training was not helping like it used to. Normally the fatigue would take the edge off and allow her to think through her feelings, ultimately coming to a solution or being able to move on. But this time the strain on her body only furthered the burn in her mind.

This is how she found herself inside one of the many Yamanaka flower shops in Konoha. Deciding to take a page from her mother’s book, Akemi had picked up some art supplies in order to try and release her emotions mentally. But she realized she needed flowers to complete her self imposed task. She had never really be one to create beautiful things or to write down her thoughts. It had always seemed silly and a waste of time to her. Though she found joy in singing and dancing, she couldn’t get in the right mindset to have that be a positive influence lately.

Thus, flowers. Her plan was to pick out an arrangement with predominantly bright notes and darker undertones to represent in a landscape that mirrored her mind. And afterwards, she could braid and press the flowers together to hang around her room, bringing a sense of life and nature to the underground facility where she now spent a majority of her time.

Akemi perused the aisles as she looked for something to catch her eye. Taking specific note of the poppies, black henbane and wormwood; also finding herself captivated by dark purple dahlias on display. She chuckled at the meanings behind those specific flowers, once again amused by how far her usual demeanor had drifted. Walking along the store front she noticed a bright white flower, with long standing stems and piqued leaves like a spout. And she was reminded of the tattoo on her back that her mother had painted for her; it was a lily of the valley. Figures that when she feels like she's drowning, it’s her mother’s unique brand of symbolism that breaks through her cloudy disposition.

[Kabu]

While an appreciation for nature had been instilled in her by Masami-Sensei, Inokara had never quite understood the appeal of flowers. Several members of her clan worked in flower shops but she had never had any interest in doing the same. She did know however that flowers made for a good gift and so she had found herself at a flower shop owned by one of her distant cousins. The boss at the cafe had been good to her for so long but she was finally ready to strike out on her own and wanted to show her appreciation before that happened.

With that said... as she wandered the aisles she found herself at a loss and wishing that she hadn't come alone. There were so many varieties, so many of which she had never seen before. There were so many shapes and colors and smells. She also knew that different types of flowers had different meanings, not that she knew what any of them meant. With all that in mind... where did she even start?

Realizing she would get nowhere by herself she resolved to look to others for advice. The problem was that while she did see a few customers, the actual employees were nowhere to be found. She knew at least the owner should have been around somewhere, having greeted her upon entering. Simply knowing that someone was around however didn't help much if you didn't know where to find them...

After wandering for a while she came across a girl staring at a flower while appearing to be deep in thought. This girl was definitely a fellow customer but perhaps she would be able to help?

Without much hesitation she quickly made up her mind and approached, standing next to the girl to get a better look at the flower that had so captivated her attention. It was a species that she had never seen before but...

"It's beautiful. I don't really know a lot about flowers and even I can tell that much."

[Kaida]

She was pulled out of her reverie by someone coming up behind her and commenting on the flower that had caught Akemi’s attention. “Oh! Hello, yes it is a very beautiful flower. One of my mother’s favorites actually. I’m contemplating it for something I’m working on. It’s called lily of the valley. It means a return to happiness.” Her face broke out in a light blush at the confession, not thinking before she spoke and realizing what that could say about her to a complete stranger.

She turned and looked to the woman who spoke, a Yamanaka by the looks of it. Her hair a silvery blonde and her blue eyes missing the pupils. She was gorgeous and looked a little lost which was surprising to the young Nara. “I find it a little odd that you didn’t know that, I thought all Yamanaka had an inclination towards flowers. Though that might be an impertinent generalization now that I say it out loud...” Her blush remained as she continued to stick her foot in her mouth, unable to stop the rambling thoughts as they entered her mind. She was usually good with other people, but she had not been feeling like herself lately and it was evident that her insecurities had taken over in her every day life.

[Kabu]

Inokara tilted her head, smiling as Akemi rambled at her. "I guess you could say that I'm a bit strange among my clan. Some might even call me a rebel. I mean... I have a preference towards Taijutsu and I'm dating a Hyuuga." she spoke with a giggle, clearly not having taken any offense to Akemi's words. She had realized a very long time ago that she was different and she was more than okay with that.

"Enough about me for now though. Is something wrong? I've been told that I can be pretty good at reading people and you seem pretty down in the dumps." In addition to being able to read people she had been told often enough that she could be nosy which made for a troublesome combination of attributes... She didn't consider it to be a bad thing however. If someone was very clearly having problems in front of her then she couldn't let that slide.

She did come to another realization however... "Oh yes, before I forget. You've already figured out that I'm a Yamanaka but I haven't given my first name yet. It's Inokara. It's a pleasure to meet you."

[Kaida]

Akemi chuckled to herself as the Yamanka called herself a rebel. "Honestly, I think I might be too. I'm a Nara who's more drawn to tai and katon than anything else. I always thought I was too impulsive to fit in with my family." Her thoughts drifted to Jashin and Eiko then, the grief still fresh from learning it was Eiko who had died that night. And the guilt from her relief at knowing that it wasn't Eiko that had been pulling away from her all these years. Even before adding Takeshi into the mix, her life was a mess.

She paused as the blonde woman seemed to stare right through her, her hands fidgeting with the lily as she contemplated what to say. In truth she didn't have many people to talk to, with Eiji and Kohaku taking a backseat, Jashin and her at odds and all of the tension with Takeshi...she was left feeling pretty alone. "How cliche would it be if I said part of it was about a guy? Actually, all of it is about a guy. Different guys and different reasons for each, only one of them could be considered scandalous though." Akemi rubbed the back of her neck, a soft flush gracing her face as she unloaded on a total stranger in a local flower shop. Sometimes she wished that she didn't have the ability to speak.

Inokara introduced herself then, reminding Akemi that she herself had been rude and a little self centered. "I'm so sorry! It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Akemi." She jostled her art supplies over into her other arm and stuck her right hand out in introduction. One day she would be able to have a normal social interaction, but it looked like today was not that day.

[Kabu]

"It's fine. I was the one that walked up without an introduction. I was also the one that asked if there was a problem." Inokara gently responded to Akemi's panicked introduction, smiling as she instinctually reached out her hand to pet the top of her head. It was the same gesture that she used for her younger sister or her friends when they were feeling down. Some part of her did realize that maybe she shouldn't be so intimate with a girl she had just met but she was choosing to ignore it. Akemi clearly had a lot on her mind, a lot of worries weighing her down. And maybe it was just her being nosy again but she wanted to help if she could, even if it was just through listening and little gestures like this.

And then after a brief moment of silence... "So, you're having guy problems eh?" she asked, pulling her hand away as she did. "I'm guessing it's not entirely the romantic kind." she added, tilting her head as she took in the girl in front of her. Akemi was really quite a pretty thing... She wouldn't have been surprised if it WAS entirely the romantic kind. If I didn't have a boyfriend I might have asked her on a date myself. she thought to herself. She was a little bit ashamed of herself for having such thoughts at a time like this but she couldn't help it...

"So that's why you're looking at flowers? Is there some kind of relation?" she spoke once more as she returned to reality. Her head was tilted in confusion as she asked her question. She of course did know that flowers had meanings, not that she knew what any of them were, but could that really be related to whatever problem was currently going on?

[Kaida]

She blushed under the weight of Inokara's hand upon her head. Despite her tactile nature, she still wasn't used to this kind of attention. While it was true that Eiji and Kohaku had been fairly affectionate, that was the extent of her experience until recently with Takeshi and again with Jashin. Her own family not paying her much much mind and Eiko having been gone too long for her to remember what her cousin smelled like let alone what her embrace felt like.

"Guy problems is one way to put it, yeah. two of my friends and one with...I'm not really sure what to label him as actually." Akemi had thought long about where Takeshi fell in her life beyond the obvious Captain and Commander. While it was true that they had also been friends, or at least friendly, there was something more there. She knew what she wanted it to be, and she hoped it wasn't one-sided. But the fact that he had seemingly gone out of his way to avoid being alone with her was part of the problem, not knowing where she stood with him and if this was just another misstep in her long line of mistakes.

Akemi looked once more to the flowers she had gathered, her gaze lingering on the lilies. "The flowers are meant to be both a decoration and inspiration. My mother is an avid painter, and I have found over the years that it helps to put what I feel onto a canvas so that it doesn't eat me alive. I thought if I could articulate it better, maybe I wouldn't feel so confused about it." She scratched at the back of her head in embarrassment, her eyes lowering slightly as she avoided looking at the Yamanka. She had never been very good with her words, or with painting, but she had tried training and found no absolution. And her talk with Jashin had helped to a point, but it didn't make the weight in her stomach any easier to bare. If this didn't work, she would most likely just resign herself to pretending like nothing had ever happened and live with the regret.

[Kabu]

Inokara tilted her head as she listened to Akemi speak. In her time as a waitress she had listened to so many problems of this very nature, both through overhearing and through actually conversing with customers. She had always been a believer in just talking things out and making your feelings known but she knew that for most folks it wasn't quite that easy. Feelings and emotions were a very scary thing, she knew that well enough.

"I admit... I've never really been much of the artistic type. I'm not good enough at sitting still for that." she spoke with a wry smile, turning her gaze towards the various flowers on the shelf in front of her. She had been hyperactive as a child and while as an adult she had calmed down considerably she still had a much easier time moving around over sitting in place. With that said... she wasn't sure what she could or should really say next. Akemi was opening up to her and it only felt right to return the favor...

To that end she took a deep breath... "Honestly though when it comes down to it... I don't have much confidence. Every so often I begin to have doubts, not just about my relationships but other things as well." she softly spoke, a strange look in her eyes. In some ways, while she wouldn't go so far as to call it a lie or anything as it truly was a natural part of her true self, her usual boisterousness did work to hide her insecurities. She had always been deeply ashamed of her other self and had always been happy that she had a way to cover it up...

"Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm just being hypocritical... Trying to help people with their problems while hiding my own insecurities."