[Mission] Where's My Cow?

[yaksha]

The sound of bitter shouting was loud enough to be heard several blocks away, though the words themselves only became clear once they were within sight. Two men were standing outside their homes, pointing at a cow that was grazing nonchalantly behind them both. At times, it would raise its head to glance at them both, as if disappointed in their argument. The two of them were red-faced and dressed in nothing but thin clothing clearly meant to be slept in.

"That cow's mine and you know it!"

"I know nothing of the sort! The cow was on my yard when I woke up, that means it's mine!"

"That cow was only on your yard so he could eat those stupid flowers you planted last week!"

"Maybe if you finished that fence you started a couple years ago, he wouldn't have come over here!"

"So now it's MY job to make a fence we're both gonna use?"

"Why would I need a fence, except to make sure none of your garbage makes it onto my yard?"

One of the men shouted a cry of pure hatred, and chucked a hand-sized rock at the other. Luckily, it soared far off target, hitting a roof and knocking several shingles off.

"Your aim sucks! No wonder that cow wanted to get away from you; probably afraid you'd grab the wrong thing while you were milking her!"

[Yura]

Well this morning is starting off interestingly, Koji thought to himself as he walked down the road. Dealing with arguing villagers was one of his favorite things to do especially early in the morning...not.

It wasn't long before he could hear the shouts of the feuding villagers. From the fact that he was still a few minutes away from his destination, Koji figured that he was going to be leaving with one hell of a headache.

As he walked by them, Koji observed the behavior of the other villagers in the area. Obviously they were not enjoying the shouting match all too much but Koji had a feeling that this wasn't an uncommon occurrence around here.

Arriving at the property of the two farmers, the object of villagers dispute was finally revealed to him. A FREAKING COW?!?!?!?! Koji thought loudly in his head. A face of disbelief came across his face. It seemed like such an unnecessary fight over an animal that surprisingly hadn't run away from them even though they were shouting so loudly.

Koji quickly approached the feuding men wanting to end this as quickly as possible.

"Excuse me gentlemen!" he shouted, hoping to be heard over the both of them, "My name is Rokami Koji, Chuunin of the hidden leaf! What seems to be the problem?"

[yaksha]

The two neighbors both began to shout frantically, their words overlapping and making it impossible to really decipher anything. Finally, after the two's cries were reaching a crescendo, the cow behind them let out a loud moo, as if it were trying to tell the two men to stop bickering. The two stopped mid-sentence, and both took deep breaths. Finally, one of them waved at his building, speaking with slow, purposeful intent that made it clear he didn't think much of the shinobi before him.

"I own a bakery. I've been thinking of adding some desserts to my menu. Most of them require milk, and this guy always sells his milk at ridiculous prices; Four thousand ryo a jug, you believe that?"

"Yeah, well I own a couple chickens, too. I make pretty good money selling my milk and eggs to people. But now, he wants to steal my milk so he can make a profit!"

"Steal your-you crazy? You steal all the old bread I leave out at night so you can feed those chickens! This is just fair trade! 'Sides, it's not like you don't have plenty more cows!"

"It's the principal! I own that cow, and I need that milk. I got a couple others, but that's not the point. I been a good neighbor, but now I have to start complaining. I want my cow, I want my milk."

The neighbor turned towards Koji, and spread his arms wide. "I just wanna start making some cookies, and I can't make a profit when all the milk I get is from him. I'm willing to work something out; it's not like I need milk every day for the cookies."

[Yura]

Koji listened to the two men's arguments. Now that they weren't really shouting at each other, they each presented a good argument for their side. One needed the milk for his pastries and the other for business in general. But still, the fact that a cow was causing all of this trouble.

"Well, I see a few solutions here. You guys could, you know, share the cow." he suggested to the feuding neighbors. "He only needs the milk from this cow every few days or so right?" he said looking at the owner of the bakery, "And those days that he doesn't need it could be days that you use to get more milk to sell." he said to the farm owner. "It's not like he is the only business you get right?"

Koji hoped that they would agree to this, or something like this, but he had a feeling that they were not. That would be too easy.

[yaksha]

One of the men slammed a hand on the wall of their home, almost hissing between clenched teeth. "I don't care about any sort of compromise. The simple matter is that he took a cow, one I owned, and he didn't give me even a single ryo in return. That's theft, boy. And you shinobi are supposed to punish thieves, aren't you? Now get me back what's mine, and then we can discuss some sort of rental fee later." A faint madness gleamed within his eyes; it probably wouldn't have been a great surprise if he started frothing at the mouth soon.

"I did not take your cow! It came over here, of its own free will, during the night! It's resisted all attempts to return to your home! It clearly doesn't want to stay with you!"

He pointed a finger at the cow, jumping up and down and shrieking now. "I worked for everything I have! I bought all of my animals with money I got from my own sweat and hard work! I'll be damned if I let him profit from my hard work, just because some...some ANIMAL ran away and he won't return it!"

[Yura]

(OOC: Wait wait wait, if one of them already owns the cow.....nevermind.)

---

Koji was now a little confused. If the cow already belonged to one of them, why was he told to bring them to a compromise?

Whatever the reason, Koji felt that both of these men were fighting a pointless arguement and it seemed to him that they really had no intention of sharing the cow. What kind of crappy neighbors were they? The farm owner did bring up an interesting point however that he hoped he could use to get the men to agree on something.

"Sir, would you be willing to part with this cow if he were willing to pay you for it?" Koji asked the farmer.

"And you sir, would you be willing to pay for this cow if he were willing to sell it at a reasonable price?" he asked the bakery owner.

[yaksha]

You'll see. Don't worry.

The bakery owner seemed to glare at his neighbor, before laying a hand gently on the cow. "Anything I'd have to pay is too much. He said he earned this cow? He found it out in the woods. He paid a couple of lumberjacks to bring it here, but he never even talked to the Hokage about keeping it. Now he wants to say I owe him money. I'll pay for it, sure." His gaze shifted away, and he was almost pleading with the shinobi. "Just not him."

The farmer's face was growing bright red as he grabbed a rock from the ground, throwing it over the baker's head in frustration. "I don't care what the Hokage says. I found it, and it's mine."

"And this morning, I found it."

The farmer's face was almost livid now, as he balled his hands into fists. "Why are you being such a prick about this? I just want my cow back."

"It's only yours in your eyes."

[Yura]

Koji's eyes kinda rolled as the two men began to argue ownership once again. Just as he thought he would be able to finally get these two to agree on something, a snag just had to pop up and ruin it all. The rock thrown meant that he had to figure something out and fast.

"Sir," he said to the farm owner, "Earlier you stated that I am one of many who punishes those who break the law. Whether you like it or not, the Hokage's rules need to be followed. If there is no legal record of you owning that cow, then you have no legal right to claim ownership of that cow." This is just going to piss him off more, Koji thought as he prepared himself for the man to get violent.

[yaksha]

The man stared at Koji with something close to disgust, before he finally dropped the rock. He waved at his neighbor, his eyes glaring daggers at the shinobi as he hissed. "Now you're taking his side? I pay my taxes, I've never broken a law. No one else had staked a claim on the cow, so I brought it home with me. It's not like I killed a man and took it." He threw his hands up in disgust, before storming away. "Work hard for what I have...never took the easy way out...just can't let a guy make a little money can ya..."

He turned around, flipping two middle fingers at Koji, before sitting on his porch. "Fuck you, too. I try to be a good guy, and this is what I get. I practically saved that cow's life. Not like you care."

The baker turned to Koji, his expression almost apologetic as he lay a hand on the cow. "Trust me, he's always like this. The cow is just one new reason for him to lose his temper. He never considers what he's doing to others, or even lets himself think he might be wrong." He sighed, as he stepped away. "I guess I should try to register this cow, and then we'll discuss some sort of plan."

"Make sure it's registered in MY name!"

[Yura]

Just as Koji had figured, the man claiming ownership of the cow was not happy at all. But he was right about one thing. Koji didn't really care. As far as he saw it, this was just another mission assigned to him. If they hadn't gotten into such a silly little dispute over the cow, and if the man had actually taken the time to follow the laws of the village he was a part of, none of this would have happened.Koji planned to stand watch as he wasn't true trusting of the farm owner to just let it go that easily. Now it was time for the waiting game.

[yaksha]

The baker sighed, wiping his hands on his shirt before sticking out a hand and offering a wan, sickly grin. "Sorry, kid. I know we're both being stubborn old mules here. But I just can't let someone profit from ignoring the rules. 'Sides, I don't care about the money; I just wanted to see that light in a little kid's eyes when he buys one of the best damn cookies in this town." He shook his head slightly, before staring at the sky. "Look. I'm willing to consent to any deal you make, as long as I can start selling something sweet and not end up without a house. Our other friend, however..." He shrugged, before sighing a little.

"All about him."

The farmer could be seen on his porch, watching them both with passive, emotionless eyes that almost made him look inhuman, before he finally rose, slowly. "Damn right. Because no one but me's worth worrying about. So why don't you get me my cow back, and then we can decide something."

The baker rolled his eyes, before leaning close. "My name's Jann. Figured we should get that out of the way before he starts getting really nasty."

[Yura]

Koji had had it. The baker who he now knew as Jann seemed like a reasonably nice hard worker guy. The other one, whose name he really didn't care for, may have been hard working but was anything but reasonable or nice. He had come up with a few perfectly good plans and every single one, this guy shot down. If he couldn't share, and Jann wouldn't buy the cow, maybe there was a happy middle?

"Okay guys, here it is. If you guys won't share or buy the cow, then what about its products? You know the milk? That is what you guys are really after right?" Koji asked, "Jann, you don't want to buy the milk because the price is so high right?" he questioned, recalling the conversation from earlier,

"And you," he said turning to farmer, "You want to own the cow so you can sell the milk right? Well then why don't you sell him the milk at a lower price on the condition that you get to rightfully own the cow and sell the milk. It's not like he will need the milk everyday so your business wouldn't hurt too much with only one customer paying less money."

[yaksha]

The farmer stared at the baker and the young shinobi, before finally spitting onto the ground between them. His face turned up into a sneer as he drummed his hands on the chair he sat in. "Welllll, let me think for a minute. Cow's mine, by every right but your damned one, and this guy wants to take some of the milk. Can't rightfully say I feel good letting him get something for nothing, but t'aint my place to judge." He made soft hums of indecision in the back of his throat, before he finally barked; once, quickly, and quite harshly.

"Sure, fine. Sounds good. I'll sell you some milk at half price, if you pay for the registration in my name. You can make your cookies or whatever you want, and I'll be over here selling my milk and making my money."

Jann threw his hands up in surprise, gasping happily. "Finally, the man speaks sense! I don't care about money-"

"Damned fool, then..."

"I just want to make sure I get plenty of repeat business. If I'm doing something for the kids, people are sure to come back. I'm willing to pay for the milk; hell, I'll even pay and give him the cow back. I just want to get my name known."

[Yura]

"Wait, you guys are actually agreeing?" Koji mumble, not able to believe that it was actually happening. He was surprisingly happy. Not because he had gotten two people to agree with one another, but because he was finally able to leave and stop listening to their bickering.

"Well, I think I have done my job here so if there is nothing else that i am needed for, i will be taking off." Koji said. He was itching to get out of there but he wasn't going to leave until he was sure everything was all good. He would just wait to see if they had anything else to say.