Be like the squirrel, girl. Be like the squirrel

[Toshi]

Cool breeze: Check

Hammock: Check.

Iced tea: Check.

No annoying red headed daughters threating to destroy everything in her path with an ordinary cooking utensil...

Tousha's head swiveled around slowly, his bright green eyes hidden behind a pair of cheap Ray ban sunglasses that he'd owned for as long as he could remember. Not hearing or spotting a single sign of Sin, he adverted his gaze back to the small notepad in his hand and checked off the last item of his "ignore responsibilities and lay back in a hammock with some iced tea without Sin around" list.

"Yuuup!" Tousha sighed as he tossed his notebook over his shoulder and laid back in the ridiculously comfortable hammock he had tied to two nearby trees just a few minutes prior. "It's gonna be a good day."

He was even wearing his favorite slacker garb to boot. Instead of donning his usual shinobi clothing, the Hokage simply wore his only pair of swimming trunks, which were black in color with red flames lining the bottom of the pant legs, and his awesome round hat that signified him as the leader of the village. But not only was it stylish, but it also offered a decent amount of shade as well. Surely the other Hokages before him would have applauded such an ingenious way to abuse his power in such an insignificant way.

After taking a swig of raspberry-peach flavored iced tea, sighing with contentment, and then replacing his sunglasses with a pair of dainty reading glasses, Tousha picked up one of his favorite novels and began reading.

Unfortunately, he didn't get halfway through the first page before he realized someone was watching him.

The kage moved so quickly that his limbs were blurred with speed as he reached for the hilt of the katana resting on the trunk of one of the trees his hammock was tied to and unsheathed the weapon. In one smooth movement he rolled out of his hammock, onto his feet, and then pointed the tip of the katana's razor sharp blade directly at whatever was standing behind him.

"Err...?" Tousha muttered with a confused expression plastered on his face as he stared down the length of his weapon at what had to be the most frightened squirrel in the entire forest. Then the kage shook his head and glared at the woodland creature, his face deadly serious and his eyes (even though he still had a pair of reading glasses on) sharp and focused.

"WHO ARE YOU WITH?! SOME MISSING NIN ORGANIZATION??"

The squirrel shook its head from side to side rapidly as it pressed its back against the tree trunk it was leaning against, trying to keep its distance from the crazy guy screaming at a squirrel.

"THEN ARE YOU WITH VERIZON?! I SAID I DIDN'T WANT THE THREE MONTH PACKAGE!"

*shake shake shake*

"Oh... SO YOU'RE JUST A REGULAR SQUIRREL, THEN??"

*nod nod nod*

"...THAT CAN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH APPARENTLY!!"

*shrug*

Tousha gave the squirrel his patented snake eyes glance before turning around to sheathe it once more. "You had me going there for a second... but I believe your story, little fuzzy one," the kage said wisely as if he was speaking to one of his former pupils. "But now that I've dealt with you accordingly, I shall return to the glamorous world of Unshaven Planter and The... wait..."

Tousha's sentence was suddenly cut short as he hopped back into his hammock and reached for... nothing. "Where the hell did I put that book..." Then he turned back to his new woodland friend and asked, "Have you seen -- HEY!!"

The squirrel twitched as it stopped sneaking away and then turned to face the kage, his favorite book wedged in between its massive front teeth. Before the Kage could even jump up, unsheathe his katana, and hack the little bastard's head off, it took into the woods like a bat out of hell.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU BOOKNAPPER!" Tousha hollered at the top of his lungs as he chased after the "innocent" red squirrel who had stolen one of his most prized possessions. Tree limbs, shrubberies, and even other woodland creatures were kicked aside as Tousha made his way after the squirrel, effectively clearing an eight foot wide path through the dense forest of Konoha.

Realizing he would never catch such an elusive creature without cheating, Tousha cheated. He pulled up the right side of his trunks and revealed a small kunai holster strapped to his pale thigh with what appeared to be duct tape.

Why he couldn't have just used medical tape I don't know, but I've learned not to question Tousha's methods.

In any case, Tousha slipped his middle finger through one of the small knives' small, metal gap and spun it around his finger as he stuck his katana into the ground and started laughing maniacally.

"KONOHA'S ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!" Tousha bellowed as he rigged an exploding tag to the kunai in his hand and pointed up at the fleeing squirrel with an accusing finger. "SQUIRREL DESTRUCTION EXPLOSION NO JUTSU!!"

With that he hurled the tag rigged kunai up into the air directly at the squirrel. But before it reached its mark the squirrel disappeared from sight in a burst of speed, and then reappeared behind the mid air projectile. With the skill that a squirrel has no right to possess, the woodland creature caught the kunai's steel ring in one of its paws, kicked the flat edge of the knife to alter its direction, and then hurled it back at Tousha.

The kage could only stare through wide, blank eyes as the kunai detonated about five strides away, engulfing the forest around him in an explosion that sent debris flying high into the air. It took a whole thirty seconds for the smoke and dust to clear, but once it did the Hokage was revealed once more; his long, black hair blown straight back and the rest of his body covered in black ash.

His unamused, half-circled eyes slowly revolved around to see the red squirrel sitting on a stump beside him. It looked up at him with the most innocent expression imaginable, offering Tousha his book politely. The kage reached out and grabbed the book... only to watch it crumble to ash and drift away in the same cool breeze he had been enjoying only moments before.

Both the kage and the squirrel watched the remains of his beloved book drift away over the forest's branches and into the horizon.

"Touche, squirrel. Touche," Tousha said.

[Cheese]

Sin heard the explosion from the cabin, and instantly thought 'Oh, hey, that sounds like the boys are home!’ Her brothers had been off on missions, back to back, and she’d barely got to see them since she’d moved in with Tousha. With that thought in mind, she jumped down from her perch in a tree, having been pouring flour on passersby and then dropping water balloons on their heads. If her brothers were home, why was she wasting supplies on boring people? This was the perfect opportunity to spend some time with them, or, to have more fun, to shove it in their faces that she lived with the Hokage. Hell yeah, that sounded great!

Without further ado, she was racing along the rooftops toward the source of the explosion. It didn't cross her mind that she was heading into the woods, when her brothers should have been at home with Ita-ojisan. It only clicked that something was different when she came across the huge crater in the middle of the forest. Tousha was wearing only a swimsuit, and was covered in soot. A squirrel, quite a large one, was sitting on a stump next to the Hokage, also complete with soot, and Sin blinked in confusion before approaching the duo.

"What the hell happened here?" she asked. There was a brief pause, and then Sin raised a brow. "And what's with the squirrel? Did you miss Raccoon Bonaparte the Third that much?"

[Toshi]

Tousha let out a long PFFFFFT and pointed a finger at the soot covered squirrel sitting beside him. "First off, this little fartknocker doesn't hold a candle to Raccoon Bonaparte the Third! Don't even compare them," he began explaining as the squirrel looked from him to Sin and then back to the soot covered kage with a confused look on its face.

Then the kage started waving his hands around, gesturing towards the surrounding devastated area around them. "And this was entirely his fault! I'm just an innocent bystander trying to enjoy his day off! But NOOOOO! Squirly McDouchenut had to wreck everything!"

After he said this the squirrel gave him the ol' puppy dog eyes and quivering lower lip look.

Tousha's eyebrow started to twitch as they stared at each other, neither of them giving in to the other's stare. "Oooh no, you can't fool me! I know that past that cuddly exterior lurks a cuddly little monster!"

The squirrel's eyes somehow grew even larger and more adorable-er.

"... Ok. I'm sorry," Tousha finally said before sticking out his hand in a friendly gesture. "Put 'er there!"

The squirrel's only response was to pull an acorn from behind its back and then throw it squarely at Tousha's face.

"OK YOU LITTLE MONSTER I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE! I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT SQUIRREL TASTES LIKE!!" The Hokage bellowed as he chased after the woodland creature with both of his arms held out towards it.

[Cheese]

Sin acted quickly; a squirrel with that level of pranking ability had to be hers! She leapt between her father and the squirrel, and crossed her arms. A glare that matched his own in intensity stared back at Tousha from her bright blue eyes, accompanied by a frown that just dared him to try and skin the squirrel. The squirrel darted behind her and peered around her at Tousha, its innocent expression gone and one that proclaimed 'Just come and get me' on its small, cute, furry face. Sin glanced down at it for a moment, and the squirrel looked up at her with shiny, adorable eyes.

"Awww! That's so cute! How could you possible wanna hurt anything this adorable and devious?" the genin exclaimed, stooping down and gathering the creature in her arms. She cuddled the squirrel, acting a lot unlike the violent Sin that Tousha had come to know. She looked up at the Hokage with an innocent expression that matched the one the squirrel had previously used. "Can I keeeep him?"

Before he had time to agree or flat-out refuse, she went on in a hurry. "I'll take really good care of him! I'll feed him and wash him and let him sleep in my room and clean up after him and make sure he doesn't mess with that book you like, the Unshaven Planter or whatever, and I'll be reaaally responsible! I'll take him with me when I train with Sensei and Hebe and Katsu, and he won't bother you at all, I swear!"

[Toshi]

Tousha just glared at the little monster his daughter was holding as she spoke, explaining that she'd take care of it as if it was some kind of pet. That thing wasn't a pet. Pets are things that you love and cherish because they DON'T nearly kill you with your own attack meant to kill it in the first place.

But even though Tousha hated that fuzzy little demon with all of his being, the kage knew that if he didn't let Sin have that damned squirrel he'd be in even more trouble. He shivered as the image of sin flushing the toilet while he was in the shower kept repeating in his mind like a cheesy horror movie with a low budget and a new director that didn't know what the hell he was doing.

The Hokage folded his arms and scoffed before muttering, "Fine... just keep that thing away from my books." With that he walked back into the cabin, but not before giving the little squirrel in Sin's arms a death glare that would have made Ray Charles flinch.

"Game on, furball..." Tousha thought to himself as he disappeared into the house, making a bee line for his diabolical scheming den.

[Cheese]

Sin giggled in an evil manner and held the squirrel in front of her, staring into its small, black eyes. It stared back, as though it were wondering what the hell she was doing. The redheaded genin just grinned and tucked the creature under an arm, following Tousha back into the house. She could already imagine what fun she could have with a pet squirrel. The surprise acorn attack on the kage had been epic, and if Sin could tame the squirrel to be like her, they would be the best prankster partners Konoha had ever seen. She had three plans already in mind.

Plan A: Her usual hideout, also known as that tree that hung over a large portion of the road. Adequately equipped with water balloons, flour, eggs, paint, and soot, Sin was already a force to be reckoned with. But if this new pet of hers also had acorns (she could always teach it to throw eggs and water balloons, and to tip over bags of flour and buckets of paint and soot, come to think of it), they would be even better. Two heads are better than one, as the saying went, but four hands were more useful. Even if the squirrel technically had paws... but let's not get technical, here.

Plan B: She could target her team. If Sin set up a prank one morning before training, she could head back to bed and have the squirrel tip something over or drop something on her teammates' and sensei's head before she even got there. They couldn't blame her if they didn't know about the squirrel. That could only work a few times, though, because there was no way Sensei wouldn't notice her having a squirrel for a pet.

Plan C: Tousha! Enough said. He already didn't like the rodent, so pranking him would be much, much easier if Sin used the squirrel as a distraction. He'd be much too focused on watching the creature than on making sure she didn't trick him.

Man, having this pet was going to be a blast. Speaking of which... Sin gasped and looked down at the rodent.

"You need a name!"

How could she have forgotten?! A pet couldn't be a pet without a name! She quickly ran through some ideas in her head: Fluffy (too obvious), Demon (she had a feeling Tousha would choose that one), Jack (very random), Tiny... yes! That was perfect! Since this squirrel was noticeably larger than the other squirrels she'd seen around the area, she'd emphasize it by naming it Tiny! Actually, Tiny didn't seem to fit it.

"I got it! Your name is Chibi!" she finally announced, after staring at the squirrel for over a minute. It blinked, but Sin didn't give it a chance to possibly reject the name. She put the newly named Chibi on the ground and bounced off toward the kitchen for a well-earned snack.